Latest Posts by somebodyssongbird - Page 5

I am floating in the earth's Ink, a night dew

My eyes have turned a kind Of lost dark blue They are someone else's eyes I have never seen through This particular hue

This is not my color I am so blue So blue, so blue

I'll slip behind these navy Stars, just to avoid the view

What do the living Do with the dead? What do we do?

What do we do when Someone vanishes?

What do the living Do when consumed With such a void? Death Is for the living

My dear, are you here? I reach out to you again From the delicate Attachment of my thoughts And you are sensory An actively forming memory

Do we live just once? I can't take the chance Believing we'll live twice Though that hope is nice We can never touch tomorrow And I won't survive on vices

The church bell chimes Eleven and I count One, two, three, and on And then after the last The soft cooing of an owl Plays above the forest Echoing across the sky As if to outplay the bell To claim this simple land For itself as it sings Every one of us to sleep

She used to look out the window With eyes darting around Like the fluttering of birds Was the greatest joy she found And marvel at the rustling leaves Chirping and chittering sounds Enthralled by creatures great and Small that roam upon the ground

Hardly would she ever venture Out into that very wild land So safe behind that pane of glass So safe to let her world expand Sometimes we would sit by the door Glory under that sun so grand She lived a quietly sheltered life It was a choice I understand

For not the first Or second time Someone has found a Loved one inside me A yearning for me To hold their words

For not the third Or last time Let me be that Person you need Let me transform so You can be with them

Ungraceful am I For grieving so publicly Bereaved, forgive me

Your absence is loud As if the air were screaming To me that you're gone

I never owned you You lived a life beside me Our love was equal

Half empty food bowl Partially used litter box Your last day remains

Ashes to ashes I'll get your ashes next week And hold you as dust

I envy the orchid For choosing when to perish To go dormant for An eternity that lasts as long As it chooses

I envy the orchid That it might sleep forever Then rise swiftly Like a flowering phoenix Back to life

For a moment My mind jumps to Another world A place more familiar To me than anywhere Here on earth

It is sunshine But brighter It is a meadow But softer It is a butterfly But shining It is a reality But fleeting

I try to hold on It lasts a second I try to keep it inside My flowing brain But as quickly as it Comes it is gone

I am remembering But forgetting I had belonged But briefly I was at peace Completely I am searching Come back

I do not care that When I speak passionately He smiles and his Eyes glaze over in confusion I do not care that He does not understand What I mean when I say The world inside me is glowing Or that the goldfinches Were singing to me in color

He is not meant to Understand my musings He is my rock on a crashing Shore that is always stormy My friend who sits By me and never asks for me To explain my layered words I care only that He is happy to share space And listen to me anyway

The sky is dark Like it always is now The wind is strong Winter's frozen vow

The clouds gather In harmonious sorrow Time stopped Between now and tomorrow

Nevermore shall I hear your sweet whisper hello My body lies beneath a hundred blankets of snow

I passed death Slipped beyond his light Into my dark Surrounded by white

I no longer feel There's no sense of cold No heart to beat No love to behold

And in the sun I sparkle with an ever mystic glow My body lies beneath a hundred blankets of snow

You and I stand at the Shop counter We are buying a Freshly baked blueberry pie To bring over to your Brother's home towns away

You stand patiently In your thick woolen Overcoat, in the many layers Under your violet skirt That has faded to lilac

The shopkeeper counts Our shared coins And you look at me With the warmest eyes On this blistering afternoon

You look at me so innocently In this small, warm Bakery, like looking At me could melt the winter From our hats and mittens

You say thank you to the Kind man with the Graying mustache in The coziest voice I know as if it were my own

We walk down the street Down to the train, where You will sit close Beside me, and it will Not be the pie that warms us

"I will never have a husband" I tell her, as the sun Peeks through the branches, Turning the dark blue sky Brand new shades of purple and orange.

I think she wants to be my man, To care for me the way a Man cares for a woman In a place when only this form Of devotion is allowed.

Sometimes, on these nights She curls her love into my fingers, After sneaking through the maples And oaks, careful to avoid the Streets with newly added lamps.

"You wouldn't be my wife?" She asks, in that sorrowful way She always asks, because she does Ask, with words or with her eyebrows Tilting upwards and sideways.

"I could never be a wife." And neither could she, not Even with me, not here in my Room or in this house or In anyone's home, not with anyone.

Sometimes she wakes me Dressed in her neighbor's shirt And pants, stolen from the line, Her long brown hair tucked into Her brother's formal hat.

In the day she is the embodiment Of elegance, her long flowing Hair pinned with decorations, Long expensive gowns, delicately gloved Hands that have never known labor.

Then in darkness she stands beside me Pulling her dead grandfather's Pocket watch from her borrowed Pants, giving me a wry smile Because she knows I am lying.

When she strips off her costume And gets in bed beside me I am hers, and this is our secret Marriage bed, two women making A life together in the shadows.

And I have lied, because without Ceremony or rings, without witnesses We have made vows, so when I tell her I will never have a husband, really I mean I will never have one publicly.

In the day she is hopeful as we walk Arm in arm, lazily through the orchard She whispers, "come away with me" Though I say nothing, because here We are simply the dearest of friends.

As the birds begin chirping She gathers her clothing, some To be worn and others returned, She kisses me goodbye, just until Tonight, when she will propose again.

If I write you You will never leave You will be with me When you are not

If I write you You will stay mine I will have you Even though I do not

This dreary morning January rain Falling onto icy snow Makes my eyes feel Heavy and tired

Roads caked with slush Cars splash through Brownish gray waves And I fall Down into the sludge

I sink like this month This month of melancholy I am crumbling Into these dirty waters Let me sleep in them

Let me sleep until This downpour lets up Until then I am fatigued These rains Beat me into submission

When he visits me He holds me so close So tightly to him I feel brittle As he squeezes The air from my lungs And says love In an almost Forbidden type of way

He speaks in parables In similes and metaphors Because the words Are unspeakable His eyes are sharp And mine are sharper And he holds My hand gently but He wears rings

So he comes to me At night, always night All night with him And his trembling Radiating body We run and run Running off energy That cannot be Touched or mentioned

In sleep he comes to me Finally, a release Our craving manifests His fingers are bare Promising to come for me To come back to me Night after night I dodge his words He made promises That were not for me

And in the morning In foggy waking He is not at my side He did not come back And he calls me to say He really is leaving But he is not coming Home, here to me But building a new one Close by with her

The snow fell on the earth Drew its blanket over the ground It brought with it the cold bite And I felt it all around

Winter sang its song of sleep As it darkened the skies But who sings for those animals Who never reopen their eyes?

Frost colored my hands Despite the fire in my heart I mourned in my blues and blacks Watching the life depart

You say, "A boyfriend sounds nice"

So now I'm sitting Here, Embarrassed For thinking that's What I'd been All these years

All these Years, years, years

All this time Our romance had been ancient History

Driving through the hills A little after dinner time I speed in the right lane.

"Don't worry," I sound very reassuring, "I know where I'm going."

I need my glasses And I can't admit to him That actually I can't see And I"m a little lost.

He needs some reassurance Which I hand out like mints, Maybe if I sugar coat it He won't know it's a little harsh, A bit too fresh, with a bite.

It's too cold for rain, Too warm for snow So we don't know what's coming down.

But we are. I'm having a panic attack While laughing at his story.

I wan't to turn around, I've missed the exit. "Trust me," I say "It's okay."

So he does But he shouldn't.

You were there Maybe you didn't know You weren't aware

But was it fair Of me to ask you if you knew That you were there

To come back unannounced Just in the air around you

Well I was there When a storm came crashing down And soaked your hair

I was unprepared So startled when I woke From that nightmare

To find your hand on my heart Starting to repair

When it's dark And it's too quiet It all feels like too much to bear

But then you're there Even when I worry That you don't care

You know I worry too much Maybe it wears you down

And when I don't declare My presence Still I think you know

You knew I wasn't going anywhere Because you still know me

Next time we're there Let's go back to the meadow Where we put flowers in our hair

The people walking past Won't see us Sitting in our chairs

I said your name You turned your head It was just a whisper in the air

You knew it wasn't just the weather You can't see the wind

That's how I know That all this time you've known That I was there

Lingering in the silence All the words we do not speak, Afraid to exhale thoughts from my lips, The memories I do not have.

On a sugar high You are filled with a rush of sweetness. A child who has found their favorite candy, The jumping up and down excitement Quickly fades as I crash.

Crashed, crushed, crumbled. I forget you, forget you, forget you, Seal shut the secret garden. You do not exist here.

I was window shopping for seeds When you appeared at my side And you gave me flowers. I did not want flowers, I did not want them. Just seeds to glance at from time to time.

An unexpected change of heart Your love is a flash flood. Pouring over dry soil, Abrupt and abundant.

The broken picture frame Shattered from false image. And I am unresponsive As you would be if you knew me. But I don’t know you either.

You were high up in the trees Looking far out to the seas And I'd climb up there with you If I only had the ability to So tell me what it's like up there? The sky wind blowing in your hair The rain as it starts to wet your face A rainbow with no resting place You take the branches two by two Climbing down looks so easy for you You told me you had fun in the clouds That I make you smile on the ground We live just down that winding road Where we live a life that's slow I watch you live out all your dreams And you are happy with me it seems

They say no man is an island So I am no man I am merely made of sand In an unknown ocean I am just a bit of land

Anyone can visit me As long as they don't stay Or they would be deserted too So after a couple of days I would have them washed away

On my island there would be a tree My only bit of company I am happy to be alone With the salty breeze Over the island that is me

I want to be somebody's songbird The same unclaimed way The earth is the galaxy's Or roots belong to the trees I long to be somebody's

I want to be somebody's songbird Create a new sound Compose our very own tune Whistle in the afternoon Singing come home to me soon

I want to be somebody's songbird A finch or a sparrow Even brown stands out in snow Under winter's dark I glow Somebody already knows

I shut you out Because you saw the parts of me That were broken And ugly And I thought you would leave

So instead I loved people Who shut their eyes And stayed Always hoping I would change Something permanent in me

Drown the keys In words I could never find, Scream a crescendo Full force from my fingers.

Pour myself Into the body of the piano Cry the highest notes Hanging long on the pedals.

My right hand Paints my voice, The left anchors My soul.