119 posts
Latest Posts by sparklingsilvermagnolias - Page 2
choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty
It is incredibly important to train yourself to have your first instinct be to look something up.
Don't know how to do something? Look it up.
See a piece of news mentioned on social media? Look it up.
Not sure if something is making it to the broader public consciousness, either because you don't see it much or you see people saying nobody is talking about it? Look it up.
Don't know what a word means? Look it up.
It will make you a better reader and a better writer, but it will also just make you more equipped to cope with the world.
So often, I see people talking about something as though it is the first time anyone has ever acknowledged it, when I've been reading reports about it on the news for months or years. Or I see someone totally misinterpreting an argument because they clearly don't know what a word means--or, on the other hand, making an argument that doesn't make sense because they aren't using words the right way.
Look things up! Check the news (the real news, not random people on social media)! Do your research! You (and the world) will be better for it.
the problem with addiction is not that it's pleasurable. it's not "having too much fun" disease. it's not even a requirement for addiction that you have fun at any point in the process at all and to be honest it is incredibly common that no pleasure is gained from substance use. imagining that addiction is about pleasure does two things: 1) demonises feeling good (there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy/comfortable/etc), and 2) frames addicts as people who Like Having Fun Too Much. it's simply not useful to frame things this way as well as just fundamentally not being true
art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you
bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental
you don’t realize how bad it is until you start noticing that impatience has become common currency. watching a full 2-hour movie from the comfort of your couch is torture - even a 25-minute series episode is too much. you can’t stand still while waiting for the bus without reaching out for your phone and opening something - any app, even to check the weather for the millionth time that day.
even conversations are suddenly taking too long, and when you look around, you start hearing all these absurd stories of how people are skipping paragraphs while ‘reading’ books because they think descriptions are boring or just ‘need to’ finish faster to reach their reading goals.
physically go to your local library at least once. seriously.
look around. find a random book with a cover that catches your attention. read the description. read the first page. if you like the sounds of it, borrow it and take it home to read. borrow a handful of books even.
if a book loses your interest, drop it. if a book grips onto you, ride that wave.
i've struggled to read recreationally for years despite having read so much as a kid. a lot of us are frozen by the seemingly infinite choices. even when we buy books to take home, we don't read them because which book is worth reading first? we don't have to decide, we have it right here in our bookshelves, we have an eternity of never deciding.
in this past month, i have read five books, most of them i've never heard of when i spotted their cover at the library. most of them, i've ended up loving. the due date of library books maintains the ability to read a book so i can return them to the library and leave the library with more books. an even better incentive than borrowing ebooks, because i actually have to leave the house and not be a hermit.
so if you used to enjoy reading but struggle with it now, ignore the book recs you hear. go to the library, come across a book that piques your interest, and read one page after another until you either lose interest or finish the book.
then it's onto the next one.
Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.
Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?
Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.
Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?
Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?
Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?
Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out
People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?
Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.
It's all a defence mechanism
the thing abt the people defending that rape game is that they are genuinely misogynistic and are peddling both rape culture and blatant misogyny but they're dressing it up to sound like it's a matter of censorship when it genuinely isn't. you people are just so ROTTED by porn that you think that the abuse, intimidation and subjugation of women is "normal"; it's no secret that the porn industry (ie pornhub, brazzers, etc) peddles this shit so much that you think that rape is normal.
and fandom has contributed to that by, again, normalising it and making it seem as if it isn't outright inherently harmful to glorify, sexualise, and make porn of people's worst trauma; you sit in an echo chamber where rape porn is normal for long enough, and you begin to take on that belief yourself - the same way that if you spend a lot of time around people who enjoy rugby or football, you begin to enjoy the sport yourself.
what you people are saying is incel shit, to put it nicely.
you're sat there saying it's FINE for a man to make an entire game to get off on thinking and behaving like a rapist (and be rewarded for it), and that if women don't like it, then they're somehow evil fascists as opposed to, yk, not misogynists and not rightfully worried about games like that when we live in a world where Andrew Tate is platformed and upheld for his beliefs that abusing and raping women makes you a man. a world where the president of the United States is a rapist.
a world where people like Nigel Farage (who is an actual fascist) outright work with white men who are known abusers of women but then claim that they care abt women & girls just to push more hatred upon immigrants and people of colour and Muslims.
a world where the porn industry can make thousands of videos where women don't outright consent, where corrective rape of lesbians is abundant, where where incest is treated as a NORMAL FUCKING THING as opposed to sexual abuse as the result of grooming.
bc the fact is that you people who fucking defend shit like No Mercy and other depictions of rape as something to get off to, you don't give a fuck about women. you don't give a fuck about rape survivors. you only care about your ability to get off and to wank over people's worst trauma. THAT is what you care about.
you see all those women on tiktok, Facebook, Instagram, twitter, bluesky, Tumblr, whatever fucking social media you use - you see them fucking telling you that shit like No Mercy is wrong, and that it's inherently harmful and that it's misogynistic, and you do not give a fuck.
you only care about your fucking sexual libido, not who the fuck you are harming.
you can harp on about fucking "fiction doesn't equate to reality" and yeah, it DOESN'T. but fiction doesn't exist in a vacuum either, and there's no way that this game was not the product of a misogynistic man who wanted to spread and peddle misogyny as a whole, the same way that pornographic films do when they MAKE incest, corrective rape, and rape films. it doesn't exist in a fucking vacuum, and if you cannot be critical and evaluate where and HOW a fetish is presenting itself, then not ONLY are you peddling anti-intellectualism, but you're also contributing to misogynistic rhetoric and actions bc what you're doing is you are normalising and enabling these kinds of things, even exposing them to children (as Steam, especially, does NOT have ID-verification for age ratings).
do you genuinely think that games like RDR, Fallout, GTA, etc - all of which satirise these things and genuinely make you feel bad abt committing violent/bigoted actions - are ANYWHERE near the fucking Rape Simulator game?
the people who fucking defend games like No Mercy claim that they care MORE abt "real people", but the matter of the fact is that they DON'T. bc if they DID, then they'd be listening to the DOZENS (if not hundreds!) of women across social media who have VERY CLEARLY stated why and how games like No Mercy are DANGEROUS. are TRIGGERING. are VILE and sickening, esp in this day and age where women are subjugated to that kinda bullshit, be it rape threats or rape porn itself, 24 fucking 7 thanks to social media.
you people are fucking disgusting for turning around and outright mocking the (VERY REAL) women who are calling for this game to be banned. bc it SHOULD be. a fucking rape simulator game should hold NO PLACE in society whatsoever under any circumstances.
you people who defend that shit are fucking misogynistic, vile, little cunts.
and just so we are clear: if you are a TERF & see this post, you lot are also misogynistic and vile assholes and do not belong within this conversation either. you peddle the exact same rhetoric against trans women, so frankly, go fuck yourselves and stay away from this post.
edit: TERFs & radfems go fucking kill yourselves. you put trans women (& ALL women) in fucking danger w your misogynistic, Nazist, views. you lot are literally fucking COUSINS w the people supporting this game.
Rage, Grief & Other Quiet Explosions
(Emotional meltdowns that don’t look like meltdowns, but absolutely are)
The “Smiling Too Much” Grief Your character’s entire world is on fire, and they’re asking if anyone wants more wine. That’s not denial, it’s an effort to hold the damn pieces together. Smile like a glue gun. Watch them crack.
The “Not Crying At the Funeral” Breakdown They don't shed a tear. They organize everything. Perfect speech. Perfect outfit. But a week later, they scream into the laundry basket over a missing sock. That’s the moment. That’s the eulogy.
The “Silent Dinner Table” Fight No yelling. No slamming doors. Just chewing. Clinking silverware. The kind of silence that tastes like metal. Let the reader feel the air shrink.
The “Polite but Dead Inside” Apology They say “Sorry” because it’s expected, not because they’re ready. Their voice doesn’t crack. Their eyes don’t meet yours. This isn’t healing. This is a peace treaty with no peace.
The “I Don’t Want to Talk About It” Detour The one where they ask about your day mid-sob. Redirect. Deflect. “Let’s not talk about me.” That’s rage choked by shame. Write it like it’s shoving itself into a smaller box.
The “Obsessively Productive” Meltdown New projects. New hobbies. Suddenly they’re running marathons, baking sourdough, fixing the garage door. Because if they sit still for one second, they’ll break. Keep the camera on them when they finally sit.
The “Unsent Letters” Grief They write it all down. Every damn emotion. Then burn it. Or delete it. Or hide it in a shoebox under their bed. It’s not for closure. It’s to let the ghosts know they were seen.
The “I’m Fine” That Echoes Delivered too fast. Too sharp. You could bounce a quarter off it. “I’m fine” isn’t fine. It’s the dam cracking. Listen to the echo. Let another character hear the hollowness.
The “Hyper-Logical Rant” Rage They argue with spreadsheets. With perfect bullet points. Cold rage—like ice, not fire. “I’m not mad, I’m just saying…” But that’s a lie. They’re volcanic under that clipboard.
The “Laughing in the Middle of the Breakdown” Moment That bitter, hysterical laugh. The kind that sounds more like sobbing with teeth. Let it come at the worst time. Let it shock even them. That’s emotion refusing to stay boxed in.
Unhealed Wounds Your Character Pretends Are Just “Personality Traits”
These are the things your character claims are just “how they are” but really, they’re bleeding all over everyone and calling it a vibe.
╰ They say they're "independent." Translation: They don’t trust anyone to stay. They learned early that needing people = disappointment. So now they call it “being self-sufficient” like it’s some shiny badge of honor. (Mostly to cover up how lonely they are.)
╰ They say they're "laid-back." Translation: They stopped believing their wants mattered. They'll eat anywhere. Do anything. Agree with everyone. Not because they're chill, but because the fight got beaten out of them a long time ago.
╰ They say they're "a perfectionist." Translation: They believe mistakes make them unlovable. Every typo. Every bad hair day. Every misstep feels like proof that they’re worthless. So they polish and polish and polish... until there’s nothing real left.
╰ They say they're "private." Translation: They’re terrified of being judged—or worse, pitied. Walls on walls on walls. They joke about being “mysterious” while desperately hoping no one gets close enough to see the mess behind the curtain.
╰ They say they're "ambitious." Translation: They think achieving enough will finally make the emptiness go away. If they can just get the promotion, the award, the validation—then maybe they’ll finally outrun the feeling that they’re fundamentally broken. (It never works.)
╰ They say they're "good at moving on." Translation: They’re world-class at repression. They’ll cut people out. Bury heartbreak. Pretend it never happened. And then wonder why they wake up at 3 a.m. feeling like they're suffocating.
╰ They say they're "logical." Translation: They’re terrified of their own feelings. Emotions? Messy. Dangerous. Uncontrollable. So they intellectualize everything to avoid feeling anything real. They call it rationality. (It's fear.)
╰ They say they're "loyal to a fault." Translation: They mistake abandonment for loyalty. They stay too long. Forgive too much. Invest in people who treat them like an afterthought, because they think walking away makes them "just as bad."
╰ They say they're "resilient." Translation: They don't know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden. They wear every bruise like a trophy. They survive things they should never have had to survive. And they call it strength. (But really? It's exhaustion wearing a cape.)
Posture & Physical Presence For Writers
(Because how they stand can say more than how they speak.)
Upright and stiff — Formal, tense, or deeply uncomfortable. Slouched shoulders — Insecure, exhausted, or defeated. Relaxed stance — Open, comfortable, confident. Hands in pockets — Guarded, casual, or hiding something. Crossed arms — Defensive, cold, or waiting to be impressed. Leaning forward — Engaged, flirtatious, or impatient. Back straight, chin high — Proud, stubborn, or putting on a show. Shifting weight side to side — Nervous, indecisive, or stalling. Foot tapping — Anxious, impatient, or barely holding it together. Arms loose at sides — Neutral, calm, open to the moment. Fidgeting with sleeves/hair/etc. — Inner turmoil disguised as casual touch. Spine curled inward — Trying to be small, invisible, or unnoticeable. Standing too still — Suppressed emotion, discomfort, or internal freeze. Dominant stance (feet wide, chest forward) — Confidence, aggression, or showmanship. Head tilted slightly — Curiosity, confusion, or playful challenge.
Writing Description Notes:
Updated 9th September 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes
Facial Expressions
Masking Emotions
Smiles/Smirks/Grins
Eye Contact/Eye Movements
Blushing
Voice/Tone
Body Language/Idle Movement
Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted
Silence
Memories
Happy/Content/Comforted
Love/Romance
Sadness/Crying/Hurt
Confidence/Determination/Hopeful
Surprised/Shocked
Guilt/Regret
Disgusted/Jealous
Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried
Anger/Rage
Laughter
Confused
Speechless/Tongue Tied
Fear/Terrified
Mental Pain
Physical Pain
Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted
Eating
Drinking
Warm/Hot
Writing Tips Master Post
Edit: Some posts may be deleted
Character writing/development:
Character Arcs
Making Character Profiles
Character Development
Comic Relief Arc
Internal Conflict
Character Voices
Creating Distinct Characters
Creating Likeable Characters
Writing Strong Female Characters
Writing POC Characters
Building Tension
Writing Grumpy x Sunshine Tropes
Writing Sexuality & Gender
Writing Manipulative Characters
Writing Mature Young Characters
Plot devices/development:
Intrigue in Storytelling
Enemies to Lovers
Alternatives to Killing Characters
Worldbuilding
Misdirection
Things to Consider Before Killing Characters
Foreshadowing
Narrative (+ how to write):
Emphasising the Stakes
Avoid Info-Dumping
Writing Without Dialogue
1st vs. 2nd vs. 3rd Perspective
Fight Scenes (+ More)
Transitions
Pacing
Writing Prologues
Dialogue Tips
Writing War
Writing Cheating
Writing Miscommunication
Writing Unrequited Love
Writing a Slow Burn Btwn Introverts
Writing Smut
Writing Admiration Without Attraction
Writing Dual POVs
Worldbuilding:
Worldbuilding: Questions to Consider
Creating Laws/Rules in Fantasy Worlds
Book writing:
Connected vs. Stand-Alone Series
A & B Stories
Writer resources:
Writing YouTube Channels, Podcasts, & Blogs
Online Writing Resources
Outlining/Writing/Editing Software
Translation Software for Writing
Writer help:
Losing Passion/Burnout
Overcoming Writer's Block
Fantasy terms:
How To Name Fantasy Races (Step-by-Step)
Naming Elemental Races
Naming Fire-Related Races
How To Name Fantasy Places
Ask games:
Character Ask Game #1
Character Ask Game #2
Character Ask Game #3
Miscellaneous:
Writing Tips
Writing Fantasy
Miscommunication Prompts
Variety in Sentence Structure (avoiding repetition)
Vibes for Softly Tortured Characters
For the ones who make you want to wrap them in a blanket and also scream “JUST TALK TO SOMEONE.”
Always looks like they didn’t sleep (because they didn’t)
Talks like they’re about to say something else, but never does
Constantly touches their sleeves/jewelry/lip, like if they’re not holding something, they’ll fall apart
Laughs too easily, but it never quite reaches their eyes
Over-apologizes for things no one noticed
Craves affection but flinches when they get it
Body language = trying to take up as little space as possible
Flashes of unexpected rage, like pressure finally cracking glass
Always says “I’m fine” in a tone that screams “Please ask again”
Cries alone, then wipes their face like it’s a secret
Feels safest in chaos because stillness feels like waiting for pain
Thinks being loved means being a burden
Cannot remember the last time they were truly, fully relaxed
Keeps people at arm’s length, but is the first to drop everything if someone else needs help
Treats their own joy like it's a luxury they didn’t earn
i am increasingly convinced that the wedding industry is having a statistically significant impact on young women leaving the mormon church. has anyone looked into this?
I hate the “Thoreau’s mom did his laundry” criticism so much, it drives me crazy.
Henry Thoreau did not go to Walden Pond because he thought it would be a fun adventure. He went into the woods because he was deeply depressed and burnt out. He was running from the horror of his brother and best friend recently dying in his arms, and the haunting memory of causing the Fairhaven Bay fire. His friend Ellery Channing literally gave him the ultimatum of either taking some time off to write and think, or else be institutionalized.
I think Thoreau’s mother saw her depressed son choosing to retreat into a small cabin in the woods, and was worried about him. Of course she did his laundry - just as Ralph Waldo Emerson probably brought him firewood and bread. These were not chores of obligation to support a “great” man, but services of love to help their deeply depressed 28yo son and friend.
And if you ask me, there’s a lesson in that - to “suck out the marrow of life” and “live deliberately,” one must also accept help offered from the people in your life who love you. There is no true transcendentalism or individualism without love and friendship behind it.
Things women created and discovered!
All men
Francium (elemental)
Torpedoe radio guidance/navigation systems
Dishwasher
GPS
Wi-fi
Structure of the Milky Way
Kevlar
The Earth's inner core
Aciclovir - an antiviral drug used for the treatment of herpes simplex virus infections, chickenpox, and shingles
Azathioprine - an Immunosuppressive drug used in rheumatoid arthritis, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, and in kidney transplants to prevent rejection
Flossie Wong-Staal was the first scientist to clone HIV and map its genes.
Pyrimethamine was initially developed by Nobel Prize winning scientist Gertrude Elion as a treatment for malaria.
Disposable diapers
Child carriers
Vaccine for whooping cough
The galaxy rotation problem - important to the discovery of dark matter
Radio astronomy - Type I and Type III solar radio bursts
That stars are primarily composed of hydrogen and helium
The new outer arm of the Milky Way - In 2004, astrophysicist and radio astronomer Naomi McClure-Griffiths identified a new spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy
Radiation
Radon (elemental)
Kinetic energy
Heavy elements in cosmic radiation
Beta particles are electrons
Nuclear shell
Astatine (elemental)
Nuclear fission - helped in the creation of nuclear weapons
Rhenium (elemental)
Seaborgium (elemental)
Polonium and radium (elemental)
Scotchgard
Structure of vitamin B12
Carbon Dioxide
Bioorthogonal chemistry - the concept of the bioorthogonal reaction has enabled the study of biomolecules such as glycans, proteins, and lipids.
Central heating
Square-bottomed paper bag
Correction fluid (white-out)
House solar heating
Wrinkle-free fiber
Windshield wipers
Car heater
Airplane mufflers
Underwater telescopes for warships
Written computer program
Written (programming) language
Chocolate chip cookies
Pizza saver
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
DNA structure
Sex chromosomes
Lactic acid cycle
Transporsable elements
Gap genes
Myers - Briggs Type Indicator
Often, men will say something like : "Who built this world? Men! Who created everything, all the technology, the great art, the culture, our societies? Who built the roads you drive on? Men!" and feminists will respond "That's because you didn't let us work or make art!" and... that's just wrong? Why are you validating the idea that women didn't contribute anything to the world? That we didn't work? That we didn't innovate? And why are you approving the nonsense that says being a mother is not work?
Don't let men rewrite history.
Women have always worked the double shift; outside of home and inside of home.
i can't recommend Jared Pechaček's The West Passage enough - it's a strange, gorgeous fable that I've only hesitated to post about because I've struggled to convey how good it is and why you should read it. It's like being inside the the marginalia of a medieval text. it has the perplexing consistency of Alice in Wonderland and the wistful necessity of the best kind of young adult coming of age. despite its fairytale feel, there's also a real sense of grounding in the world and the material experience of its people. i cried at the end.
and the prose is lovely:
A pigeon launched itself from a courtyard, drawing her eye up to faraway Red Tower, purpled with distance, its beacon dull in the light of day. If a wind came from there, you could get a whiff of the sea. In the windless noon, white smoke from that eternal fire drifted all over the southeastern district of the palace. Much closer was lapis-domed Blue Tower, rising from a field of white plaster walls, swirling with pigeons and the bright flecks of hummingbirds who came to drink from the flowering vines that spilled down its sides.
This woman holds the highest recorded IQ ever: an astonishing 228. Far surpassing Einstein (160-190), Hawking (160), and Musk (155). Yet, despite her brilliance, she faced ridicule for her response to a seemingly simple problem.
But she saw what no one else could.
Here’s her story:
Marilyn Vos Savant was far from an ordinary child.
By the age of 10, she had:
• Memorized entire books
• Read all 24 volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica
• Achieved the highest recorded IQ of 228
She seemed destined for a life of genius.
But reality took a different turn.
“No one paid much attention to me—mostly because I was a girl. And I accepted that,” Marilyn Vos Savant once said.
She attended a regular public school, left Washington University after two years to help run her parents' business, and seemed destined for an ordinary life.
But in 1985, everything changed.
The Guinness Book of World Records listed her as having the "Highest IQ" ever recorded: 228.
Suddenly, Marilyn was thrust into the spotlight:
• Featured on the covers of New York Magazine and Parade Magazine
• Guest on Late Night with David Letterman
But she couldn’t have anticipated what lay ahead.
The Rise and the Question
Marilyn joined Parade Magazine to write the iconic "Ask Marilyn" column—a dream for someone with a passion for writing.
Yet, this dream turned into a nightmare with a single question in September 1990.
The Monty Hall Problem
Named after Monty Hall, the host of Let’s Make a Deal, the question went like this:
You’re on a game show.
There are 3 doors.
• 1 door hides a car.
• The other 2 hide goats.
You choose a door. The host opens another door, revealing a goat.
Should you switch doors?
Marilyn’s answer: “Yes, you should switch.”
The backlash was overwhelming. She received over 10,000 letters, including nearly 1,000 from PhDs, insisting she was wrong:
• “You are the goat!”
• “You blew it, and you blew it big!”
• “Maybe women look at math problems differently than men.”
But was she wrong?
The Math Behind the Answer
Consider the two possible scenarios:
You pick the car (1/3 chance):
• If you switch, you lose.
You pick a goat (2/3 chance):
• Monty reveals the other goat.
• If you switch, you win.
Switching gives you a 2/3 chance of winning.
Eventually, her answer was proven correct.
Vindication
MIT ran computer simulations confirming her logic.
MythBusters tested it and reached the same conclusion.
Some academics even apologized.
So why did so many fail to see the truth?
The Reasons People Got It Wrong
• They "reset" the scenario instead of recognizing the shifting probabilities.
• The simplicity of 3 doors obscured the underlying math.
• Many assumed each remaining door had a 50% chance.
Marilyn’s View
Marilyn blamed the compulsory schooling system for discouraging independent thinking. She argued that it:
• Creates passive learners
• Stifles exploration
• Hinders critical thinking
A Blessing and a Burden
Marilyn admits that her intellect often feels isolating—there’s no one to turn to when she needs answers.
Still, she sees her intelligence as a gift, not a curse .
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