Red Hood: *picks Up Ringing Phone In Middle Of Meeting* What’s U— *pauses* Goons: *lean In To Listen*

Red hood: *picks up ringing phone in middle of meeting* what’s u— *pauses* goons: *lean in to listen* hood: wait, what?? Alfie’s gone for the—fuck, don’t tell me you—fuck. You did. You went in the kitchen. You idiot! Why would you do that? You—fucking fuck, dick, macaroons?? Of all the things you could make him, why did you chose the LITERAL HARDEST thing we have ingredients for, I—fucking hell. goons: *exchange confused glances* hood: *gets up out of chair in apparent outrage* wait there. Don’t touch a single goddamned thing, you hear me? Wait for—*large crashing sound on other side of phone* hood: *facepalming* did you . . . Just . . . Break the fucking mixer??? hood: sit your asses down. I’ll be there in five. If I get there and you touched one more fucking thing in the kitchen I will have you out of the manor. Apparently you need fucking parental supervision. goons: *watch in confusion as the crime boss walks out*

More Posts from Straywayne and Others

1 month ago

Ra's and baby Talia

Ra's And Baby Talia

Willis and baby Jason

Ra's And Baby Talia
1 month ago
Just A Lil Thing ❤️ (text May Be Hard To Read, I'll Include The Panel By Panel Text Under The Break.

Just a lil thing ❤️ (text may be hard to read, I'll include the panel by panel text under the break.

Roy: "Hey Todd, you ever think about gettin' hitched?"

Jason: "Ttch!"

Roy: "C'mon, for real dude."

Jason: "Whatever."

Roy: "Dude."

Jason: "What? It's easier that way! I can focus on the mission - no loose threads - no one hurt."

Roy: "Well, not to mention your Daddy issues - subscription, lol."

Jason: "... e-yup."

Roy: "Wait - hold up - "

Jason: "You c'mon Roy-"

Jason: "Besides, (heh), Who would want me? (heh heh!)"

Roy: "Jason."

Roy (thinking): "Why are all Bats so fuckin' clueless??"

Roy: "Jaybird plz." (I didn't wear my slut shirt for nothing, Jackass.)

Jason: "Wha?"

Roy: "Jason - you dense idiot."

Roy: "I want you!"

2 months ago

No matter if you choose to consider that Jason had the worst time ever in the League of Assassins or that, quite opposite, it was more or less okay, I think we all should unite and agree that Jason would be Ra's bane of existence. This boy is a brat. A certificated one, even. He is not an easy boy to handle, never and ever.

Ra's, after locking Jason up away from the society for a few days: Now. Do you realise what I am trying to say to you? You should focus on your studies. On your trainings. Forget about easy, normal life, about teenage shenanigans. Find peace. Throw unnecessary thoughts away.

Jason, yawning: Yeah, okay. Sure.

Ra's waking up in the 5am because someone is blasting NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye on the whole castle: Talia. What is this?

Talia, shrugging: Jason found old music speakers. He says he is... focusing like this. Just like you advised him to.

Ra's with his eye twitching: Is. he. Now.

Ra's: (accidentally trips on his cloak)

One of the Assassins, in their local comms: Chat, clip that

Ra's, frowning: What is that? What had you said? What is this nonsense?

Assasin: Uh, general had taught us—

Ra's: STOP LISTENING TO HIM, FOR GOD'S SAKE

Ra's: Talia, we need to send the boy to All-Caste. I think he needs some time away. From us. From me. Specifically.

(A certain amount time later)

Ra's, sighing in relief: Finally, peace—

Jason, spawning behind his back: Hi.

Ra's, groaning: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THE CLEANSING CEREMONY, OH MY GOD

Jason: Wanna check All Blade? It is kinda cool.

Ra's, pausing: ...Yeah.

Ra's farewelling Jason, who returns to Gotham: I have nothing to wish upon you. Be as annoying to Batman as you were to me.

Jason, smirking: Aw-w, I barely unleashed my annoyingness with you, Ra's. Bruce is going to suffer more.

Ra's: ...Good.

Ra's, closing the door behind him: Barricade the castle. Set bombs. I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM HERE EVER AGAIN!!!

Also Ra's a half of a year later, watching footage of Jason terrorising everyone's life in Gotham, with tears in his eyes: That's my grandson. I am so proud of him.

Talia, raising her eyebrows: You tried to drown him in the Lazarus Pit. Twice.

Ra's: Shhh.

Talia: Then I'll invite him on holidays this year.

Ra's: NO.

1 month ago
There Is A Voice Inside My Head That Whispers “wing Au” Every Time I Join A New Fandom. It Is Currently
There Is A Voice Inside My Head That Whispers “wing Au” Every Time I Join A New Fandom. It Is Currently
There Is A Voice Inside My Head That Whispers “wing Au” Every Time I Join A New Fandom. It Is Currently
There Is A Voice Inside My Head That Whispers “wing Au” Every Time I Join A New Fandom. It Is Currently
There Is A Voice Inside My Head That Whispers “wing Au” Every Time I Join A New Fandom. It Is Currently

there is a voice inside my head that whispers “wing au” every time i join a new fandom. it is currently winning.

1 month ago

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

1 month ago
Which Will Never Be Much Of Anyone.
Which Will Never Be Much Of Anyone.
Which Will Never Be Much Of Anyone.

Which will never be much of anyone.

And if I say this song is so Bruce and Jason coded then what

3 weeks ago

JAYBIN

JAYBIN

Open for a surprise!!! 😎🤩💐💐

JAYBIN
2 months ago

Bruce and Jason, who accidentally fix their relationship in a relative secret and distance from the rest of the family (Alfred excluded, of course), and decide to keep this fact as a secret from the rest of the family, just for fun. Because, let's be honest, Bruce is no less a brat than Jason is, he is just better at hiding it the older he gets.

Dick, sighing: Listen, I am about to invite Jason to this family dinner. And I don't care if you want it or not! And if you try to sabotage this day by your moral code lectures, I'll have a word with you! Bruce, indifferent, while messaging Jason at the same time: Mhm.

(On the other part of Manor) Tim: Honestly, I am not giving you a choice here. You will come to this dinner, Jason. Just... just ignore Bruce, alright? Jason, dramatically huffing, while liking Bruce's messages: Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER! Alfred: ...My circus. My monkey. I shall stay collected, nevertheless.

Damian: Father had been disappearing after patrols lately. I can't track him... What do we think is going on? Is he found himself a new child he plans to adopt soon? We can't get another sibling. Tim: Relax. He is probably into a new woman. Or a man. Whatever. Dick, worried: Guys, what if it is another villain or rogue? Jason, with whom Bruce spends time after patrol by munching fast food on the skirts of town: ...Lol Damian: That's not funny, Todd. Barbara, who knows everything: ...It is funny. Dick: Babs!

Tim: You know, Jason had been surprisingly chill lately. I knew he was doing better, but he stopped avoiding Manor that much. Bruce, arching his eyebrows: Alright? Tim: Do you think... maybe you two can finally talk? And fix your mess? Bruce, who just came to the cave after reading session with Jason, hiding his smile behind a sad face: I don't know, chump. It is complicated.

Dick, calling Jason randomly: Urgh, B is such a bitch! Jason, gasping: Right? Tell me about it! Bruce, sighing from his side of the couch as Jason puts The Crown show on his television: ...

2 months ago
My Official Designs For My Ghost RiderAU. The Designs Are Pretty Cannon With A Few Things I Liked Personally.
My Official Designs For My Ghost RiderAU. The Designs Are Pretty Cannon With A Few Things I Liked Personally.
My Official Designs For My Ghost RiderAU. The Designs Are Pretty Cannon With A Few Things I Liked Personally.
My Official Designs For My Ghost RiderAU. The Designs Are Pretty Cannon With A Few Things I Liked Personally.

My official designs for my ghost riderAU. The designs are pretty cannon with a few things I liked personally. I promise I’ll have more pages out soon! Coloring has just been a nightmare💀

Commissions are also open!!

2 months ago

Jason would adopt a kid (or a kid would adopt Jason, let’s be real) and he would never outright tell anyone. It would be up to everyone ELSE to find out. Whether that be by accident or by suspicious snooping

Jason: hey guys, im gong to the store. anyone want anything? tim: uh some granola bars for patrol would be great. what are you going to the store for? jason: *non-chalantly* a night light tim: tim: are you . . . afraid of the dark? jason: no tim:

Jason Would Adopt A Kid (or A Kid Would Adopt Jason, Let’s Be Real) And He Would Never Outright Tell

jason: *yanking a super sugary cereal out of dick's hands* that stunts growth and development dick: dick: i am,,,,, fully rown and developed?????? jason: well then you're setting a bad example for young and impressionable children dick: damian????????? jason: no dick: then who?????

cassandra: would you like to come to my ballet recital? everyone else is busy. jason: umm . . . can i bring a plus one? cassandra: sure. who? jason: my daughter cassandra: awww that's a great idea! later: cassandra: wait. you don't have a daughter. jason: yes i do? cassandra: okay then. *promptly never mentions it to anyone else*

steph: *visiting jason* uh . . . dude jason: *wearing a "my dad jokes are the price of my cooking" apron and cooking while holding a child on his hip* yea? steph: steph: what the FU- jason: LANGUAGE steph: -DGE

bruce: jason has been acting off. i need the two of you to tail him tonight and report back to me. stephanie: no. bruce: what do you mean no? duke: i wouldn't willingly tail jason todd if you told me you would pay for my college bruce: im already going to pay for your college duke: exactly. and i'm gonna to need my life to make use of that fact. so im not going to tail the murderous crime lord turned vigilante. no way. bruce: something's wrong, i'm telling you two. stephanie, who has alrady met her niece and is the first aunt to have been named: ask someone else dude. idk what else t' tell ya

bruce: tim, something's wrong with jason tim, who found out through steph the day previous and has since met his niece as well: he got a girl bruce: *wide-eyed* he has a girlfriend???? tim: that's not-- you know what, sure

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straywayne - StrayTodd
StrayTodd

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