YALL LOOK WHAT I MADE. I RECREATED THE MEME AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING 😭😭

Bruce: Na na na na na na na na, Bat-on…

Jason: *walks into living room and pauses, looking at tim* uh Tim: *frowns as he looks up from a book* what? Jason: um. Tim: dude. Spit it out. Jason: *still staring* you like that book? Tim: yeah I’m really loving it! It’s a new bestseller, Steph recommended it. It’s a fun fantasy. ‘S got dragons and the romance is nice and Jane Austen-esque. You should read it, it’s right up your alley. Jason: uh. Okay. I’ll, uh, look into it. And, uh, what about the author? Know anything about them? Tim: *frowns* aside from the fact that there’s like, no information about them, no Jason: *chuckles nervously* ah, yeah. Haha.

Jason, later to his editor: hey can we change my pseudonym? I wanna use “Todd Peter” and see how long it takes for my brother to yell at me editor: Jason that’s not how pseudonyms work

after Dick being less than happy with being Jason’s older brother for so many years, i think Jason finding out about Damian and deciding fuck it it’s HIS turn to terrorise a younger sibling would be so funny. Damian is so sick of this man. Jason doesn’t even get to try having a secret identity because upon seeing him in Gotham Damian gets so tired so quickly that he outs him without thinking.

Batman: who are you?

Red Hood: *opens his mouth to say some kind of mysterious threat*

Robin, landing on the roof: Batman, i have successfully- OH GOD FUCK JASON NO. NO. GO HOME. GO BACK TO MOM. NO. NO.

Batman:

Red Hood:

Robin, turning to Batman: TELL HIM TO GO AWAY HE’S GOING TO START PUTTING SALT IN MY WATER AGAIN

Batman: …Jason?

Red Hood: Damian you little bitch i’ll put hair dye in your shampoo for this

🐱☕️

Headcanon Bruce never says I love you. However, he does end all texts with “love dad” to all his children.

Post resurrection Jason receives a text from Bruce inviting him to the manor for brunch.

He smashes his phone then cries for an hour.

vroom vroom bitch

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

sometimes dick has nightmares or thinks that jason being alive is a dream, so he checks up on jason pretty often. dick would sneak into his room, at night and see if hes breathing. so, jason would wake up to a dick grayson looming over his bed and it would creep him out.

Dick: *had a nightmare that jason wasnt actually alive and it was all a figment of his imagination. breaks into his apartment/room and checks on jason.*

Dick:

Jason: *wakes up to see someone standing over his bed, watching him sleep. doesnt see its dick bc its dark in his room, but knows his presence. is still freaked the fuck out.*

Jason: what the actual fuck, grayson?

Dick: *realizes the absurdity of the situation.*

Dick: ..sorry.

Jason:

Jason: its okay.

Dick: sleepover?

Jason: fine. just this once. dont get used to it.

jason allows it bc hes happy that someone actually cares enough about him to check if hes alive.

AGRHRGRHRGR IM SO NOT NORMAL ABT THEM ILYT SO MUCH WAHHHHHH

been thinking about jason being petty towards bruce. like, oh, you spend time with your other kids, but not me? tire privileges revoked! it would be over stupid shit too.

like there’s one time bruce decides to take damien to the movies, and jason is just beside himself.

like the conversation would be like:

JASON: So, let me get this straight—you took Damian to a movie.

BRUCE: He asked.

JASON: Oh, and I wouldn’t have wanted to see Kung Fu Panda 4 with you?!

BRUCE: You were busy.

JASON: Busy taking down a cartel. Which, by the way, I learned from you. I deserve quality time!

BRUCE: Jason—

JASON: No. No excuses. You’ll learn.

Jason storms off. Five minutes later, an alert pops up on the Batcomputer.

BATCOMPUTER: Warning: Batmobile rear tires have been removed.

BRUCE: …Jason.

Cut to Jason outside, rolling two Batmobile tires away, cackling.

Who better to beat the final level in Mario than the world’s greatest detective? (Or how to entertain sidekicks 101)

It’s probably Battison, but honestly this image has been stuck in my head for a while — let him be a good dad!!