(actually Story For Once!!) (may Refer To Calico Jack As Jack Throughout Just Cuz Easier)(human Au)Calicos

(actually story for once!!) (may refer to calico jack as jack throughout just cuz easier)(human au)Calicos kitchen:

The first thing Kwazii did when he walked through the door was sniff the air. the next thing he did was vomit in his mouth, the house reeked of burnt, just burnt.He ran to open the oven and was met with a charred lump of …well  something.

“oi!” *smack*

“OWW!” Kwazii yelped as he leaped back rubbing the spot on his head we’re his granddad had hit him with a tea towel. “THE FUCK!”

“I’m cooking that for dinner.”Jack said taking the lump of char out of the oven

“I think it’s done.”

“Don’t be cheeky with me,i’m doing this for your boyfriend.” jack snapped

“Why do you want to kill Peso?”Kwazii narrowly dogged the tea towel that was flung at him.

“awk” jack scowled at him “I just thought i’d better reheat it before cutting it up.”

Kwazii skimmed the recipe that was displayed on the cracked iPad on the kitchen counter,it became clear what the mystery lump of char had once been, and why calico jack had insisted that they save the beef broth from Sunday’s roast.

“Good God please no.”Kwazii whispered in horror

“Oh don’t be a dick Kwazii,i think i’m a fairly decent cook,I made all your meals for you growing up and you lived.”

“Oh i lived.” Kwazii scoffed at the bar on the floor

“Kwazii i am perfectly capable of following a recipe.I just want to show peso that I accept him as part of the family.” He lingered on “family” and looked up at Kwazii questioning.

Kwazii stated back at him for a few seconds before it clicked what he was being asked “OH FOR FU- NO how many times do i have to tell you.”

“I’m just saying by the time i was your age i was married and i had had your father.”

“Granddad” Kwazii sighed exasperated “it’s too soon,besides peso is going to leave me if you give him that.”

“Don’t be stupid Kwazii why would he leave you over food?”

“Oh I don’t know ,You could accidentally call him Colombian BY MAKING A COLOMBIAN DISH!”

“This is chilean ajiaco.”Jack interrupted pointing at the recipe’s title on the screen “chilean ajiaco see.”

“ok well ,You could insult his country ,culture and cuisine with your cooking,or you could oh i don’t know kill him.”

“Just be quiet i’m making it and that’s that.”

This is my first time actually writing a fanfic.and🥳🥳 some actually story to go with all the info dumps about my au