Latest Posts by theghostofacookie - Page 3

I wish i had big claws to dig a little burrow in the dirt and sleep in it i think it would solve all my problems

there are a lot of things that make the locked tomb series so appealing, like yeah lesbians with swords, bones, deeply fucked up and compelling dynamics etc, but fundamentally possibly the most enticing aspect of it is the sheer amount of pathetic women in it. we are living in an age of DROUGHT of pathetic women in media; the Girlboss trope, in its most stereotypical and mind-numbingly basic interpretation, reigns supreme. the female silly little meow meow is ENDANGERED. but not in the locked tomb series! in fact there are several of them here and they’re all pathetic in different special ways, which doesn’t prevent them from also being badasses and strong, skilled fighters, but CRUCIALLY they are also losers!! and that’s what makes them so great!!!! like we have the self-sacrificing butch lesbian jesus-figure with a hole in her chest and the most pathetic case of Simping in history, canonically known as the ‘saddest girl in the universe’, the evil stick feral kitten lesbian nunlet with a bone fetish that everyone for some reason is obsessed with (no actually it’s understandable), the super tall ghost-looking ‘problematic’ lesbian with a bone arm who loves to cause problems on purpose, her even taller and more insane twin sister and her deeply repressed constantly half-dead crush who’s pretty much always having the worst time out of everyone in a series where everyone is always having the worst time. oh and of course the eldritch horror dressed up as a barbie doll

Tamsyn Muir was insane for 'Life is too short and love is too long.' like she really said I'm just going to make Camilla Hect sum up the essence of life and then move on

reminders to myself:

- i am not a burden

- i am allowed to make mistakes

- i am not worthless

- i have purpose

- i am loved even if it doesn’t always feel like it

- i have a future

- i am not a bad person

- i am trying my best and that matters

- i deserve to love myself

The tiktok-ification of tumblr is just 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Level 1: Dating sim character has a mental breakdown when they realise that they’re a character in a video game.

Level 2: Dating sim character realises that they’re a character in a video game, and is weirdly cool with it.

Level 3: Dating sim character knows they’re in a video game, but they’re convinced that they’re the human player and you’re just a fourth-wall-aware NPC.

Level 4: Dating sim character successfully proves that they’re the human player and you’re just a fourth-wall-aware NPC, whereupon the perspective immediately switches so that now you’re playing as them and your former viewpoint character is an NPC.

Level 5: Dating sim character successfully disproves that their world is just a video game, and the game immediately ends.

i mean. medical technology is all about stopping "natural" things from happening to our bodies. from external diseases to internal parts of our bodies not working the way we need them to (our brains, our organs, our immune systems), medicine is all about interfering with things that have naturally gone wrong in our bodies--and that for the first time in history, we might have a way to fix. and that's not even getting into cosmetic stuff--the billion dollar industries to remove acne and body hair for instance. natural things that happen to our bodies, that we have decided are unpleasant and that we have the right to change. and that's fine, because these are our bodies, and we have a right to change them, natural or not.

so stop pretending that depriving trans kids of puberty blockers and other medical care is okay, because growing irreversible secondary sex characteristics that they do not want is "natural"

cast spell of just straightup fucking kills you

feels like some people become parents because they've been taught that is the natural progression of how adults gain power (i.e. the power their parents held over them in their childhood). and now they need to be at the top of that power structure, to finally be okay.

which is very, very sad. and also, crucially, not a healthy reason to become a parent.

someone followed me who only posts the same nine gifs over and over again and I don’t know what it means

Its never too early for a Glizzard

you flex your muscles at the gym and nothing happens but across the room my shirt inexplicably rips apart

reblog to put a weighted blanket on the person u reblog this from

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Villain: Golvelker Skoff, The Deacon of Dereliction

“ They Hate us, you know: The Gods. Not in the way you or I might hate someone, but in the way one hates mold growing in the back of a pantry, or a particularly ugly spider that had crawled over you at night. The only difference between you and I is that I know the means by which to stay beyond their reach, while you tarry in the light by their feet and invite the crunch of the celestial boot” 

Setup: There are three groups that will never forgive a grudge: dwarven traditionalists , the clergy, and the dead.  Woe then to anyone who crosses Deacon Skoff, an undead dwarven holyman who’s spent the past century indulging a hatred for all things blessed by the gods. 

Usually secreted away on “ vows of isolation” in a forgotten hermitage, Golvelker uses false identities within church correspondence to keep abreast of any appearance of the miraculous and divine. When he catches the scent however, he travels in disguise or sends conjured minions out to obtain these mystic specimens, employing all manner of dark magic to aid in their capture. 

His ultimate goal? Dissect the hallowed until he can learn ways to circumvent divine wrath, overcome blessed protections, and eventually poison destiny itself. 

Adventure Hooks: 

The Expansion and renovation of a local princess-bishop’s castle leads to the discovery of a long sealed vault full of monsters and relics from before the last purge. Excellent work for a group of aspiring adventurers, though they will have to put up with a gaggle of church reliquarians poking over their loot like a gaggle of gulls by a fishing net. Into this knot comes Deacon Skoff in one of his disguises, muddling the proceedings in every way he can while his own team of tomb robbers infiltrate the delve. 

Rampaging wraiths have overtaken the excavation of a storied battlefield, seemingly called up in response to an overzealous historian uncovering their bones. In fact, these specters were called up by Skoff, who wishes to steal the historian’s true discovery: A 15ft tall winged skeleton, partially encased in stone, which may be the ossified remains of an archon called up by the warprieats of one warring faction snd struck down by the battlemages of another. 

Following tell of a miracle healer, the party comes to a guarded village shrine only to find that disaster has occured. The healer, an aasimar child gifted with potent healing powers and fostered by the temple from a young age, has been kidnapped. Evidence suggests bandits, but an eagle eyed party will mark the coming and going of a conspicuous clerical carriage in , as well as appearance of a visiting scholar of the faith always on the edge of the witness’s testimony.  

Keep reading

Column mimic! Could you imagine a room full of these?

Arcanatober Days 16 & 17– Coin Devil & Tarot Gate

Two more tarot-inspired creations today, one new devil for the ranks of the Nine Hells, and one magic item just waiting to be dropped into the lap of a 1st-level party to inspire a multiverse-traveling campaign. Honestly really love both of these, even removed from the lore and flavor I’ve designed for them (but didn’t have room to include)

I hate children

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study

"your days are numbered" yes that is quite literally how the calendar system works

The whole “make a monster version of a regular animal by prefixing its name with a scary word” bit doesn’t really work with birds because bird names are just Like That. Tell me I’m going up against a blood horse and I’ll grant that this would probably scare me, but a blood raven, well, that’s just a guy. I am 100% prepared to believe there’s an actual bird species by that name.

Tag yourself, I’m the Classic.

Hey Mr Gaiman, my husband just came home from work with a "really good gossip" about good omens, in which the firsts nominations for a movie back then was Robbie Williams for aziraphale and Johnny Depp for Crowley. Then I told him I could just ask you about that hahahaha

Is that true?!

It is. Terry Gilliam wanted to make it into a movie in 2001 and Robin would have played Aziraphale and Hastur, and J Depp would have played Crowley. He went to Hollywood in Feb 2002 to choose the studio. Everyone at ever studio said no.

im at a restaurant right now and there's this like 16 year old kid sitting at the table next to me completely alone with like 6 racks of ribs. hes eating like 1 rib every 10 seconds and the poor server who was assigned to him has to keep getting him new ribs. ive been here for an hour just watching this kid inhale ribs like he's gonna die the next day. he probably will given the amount of hot sauce he put on them

req’d by @plaguerightsactivist

aw beans

the ‘uh oh you found the toothpaste’ meme but its the g-man from half-life

“seems, like you’ve found the toothpaste, dr. freeman. now let’s get this clear, gordon. i, can brush, my teeth, all by myself. hmm?”

*gravity gun violence*