Latest Posts by travelintoinfinity - Page 3

TWG with friends! (at TWG Tea Salon)

KJ's birthday lunch! (at Marché)

:)

I sit here alone, with coffee in one hand and a heavy heart, waiting for midnight to strike, for it signals the end of a hellish 18 year tutorial and but the start of a real nightmare. (at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf)

Last Friday

I saw her last Friday at school near FC5. I was going to Spectrum as FC5 had no vacant seats. Just as I was halfway there, I saw her at the second floor walkway near the bridge. She was with her classmates. I wanted to say hi, but I don't really know what will happened next. Kind of afraid what she will think or say to me. By the time I wanted to say something, she was long gone. I looked back, she didn't looked back, nor did she seem bothered. I guess she just don't want to see me... :(

I regretted not saying anything, I left with a heavy heart to Spectrum and forced that awful McDonald meal down my throat... i felt like puking all my insides out... She walked past me without even saying hi, treating me like a stranger. Why does she have to be that cold to me?

I don't really know if we are still friends, or just distant strangers...

What can I do?

I seem to be the cause of her unhappiness. She ignored me on the day (9/01/14) I went back to Beatty for the camp fire. Maybe I should just disappear completely from her life... I mean, what else can I do?

Long Update

It's been a long time since I posted here. A lot of things has happen since my last post at a class chalet. Let's start with how I got here.

I've been posted to SP with DIT as my course. Not sure whether I like this course at all. It wasn't my first choice, and I admit I knew there were other courses I like at other polytechnic with lower entry requirements but I didn't choose wisely. And the worse part was I only chose my 12 courses at the last day during the last 3 hours. What was I thinking?

And why didn't I choose engineering? Well, I have color blindness and the doctor even said I would be kicked out of the course if they find out I'm color blind during the medical check-up for all freshmen. And so I ended up at the school of DMIT. I was lucky that I didn't end up in clean energy or whatever weird course my dad helped me chose.

And then there's one stupid thing I did that I'll regret for life.On the 5th of July, I woke up at 6 am in the morning because of a nightmare. I couldn't go back to sleep, that nightmare made me think quite a lot. I got a little a bit angry at myself for waking so early in the for a 1 pm 2 pm class. And the worse part was me misreading the timetable. Ended up reaching school at 1 pm instead.

I felt hungry as I didn't eat my lunch, so I text her if she was free for lunch, she said she was with her class during her break. I'm not surprised. I called Jian Wen and he wasn't in school. So I called Irvin and he only woke up... I called Ben and he was still at home. Called Eugene and he didn't picked up. Eric? Well, I don't think he's even contactable.

Combined with other factors and it's a recipe for disaster. I posted a series of rant on Twitter and Facebook. Never mind about the rant, I did the unthinkable, I scolded her in my status updates and called her bitch and maybe other profanities and even more things about why I shouldn't fall for her, etc. And there it happened, I destroyed years of friendship with a girl I fell deeply for. If my wealth was proportional to my level of stupidity, I would have been a billionaire by now. Just how stupid can I get?

At the end of the day, I saw her at the MRT station waiting for someone. You said hi with no expressions, I replied a hi and dropped my phone. I quickly picked it up and notice she didn't even blink an eye. Just that, 2 good friends walking by each other just saying hi. Our friendship reduced to this... I knew she read what I wrote, and it was all too late to take it back. I regretted it very much.

And what nightmare started all this? Just a freaking nightmare of me having a fear of heights and my friends abandoning me. That feeling wasn't good at all, especially when I see her walking away.

Fast forward to 19th of July this Friday and I haven't talk to her since. She's cold to me. All our conversations are one word replies. She's been avoiding me, she didn't like any of my IG photos no matter what I post. And I feel like she's skipping CCA to avoid me even though I'm skipping CCA too for other reasons (lazy). I don't what this means. Maybe she saw my tweets and found out. Maybe she didn't. I don't know the answer. I wish I knew what all this meant.

Just a few days earlier, she asked my class group if anybody is going for the gala night thing my sec school has. I asked her one question, she replied a sentence with no expression, all words are shortcuts, not even a full stop. I replied thanks and she just said Np. And then she talked to my friends with all that smiley faces suddenly. I don't know what to think of it.

Even if things didn't work out, I would still want to be friends with her, not cold war enemies. And I want to at least return a birthday gift. After all, she gave me one of the best birthday present in my life. I have a sec 5 friend who used to be in a relationship with a girl of the same name, they're still friends in the end. Why can't I have it that way?

I got too little time to think of this. I have 6 projects to complete, 2 due next week plus a GenEd photo essay to do this weekend along with an idea to think up of for GenEd S&D for this Tuesday. That's 4 things to so this weekend. And I hadn't done anything today.

My first semester in SP isn't even over and I'm barely staying afloat. Sorry for the long rant. It's been a long time since I had a proper sleep. Can't wait for the holidays to come, I badly need it,

I should sleep soon. It's time to move on. I'm at PA Pasir Ris Holiday Flats (via Scope)