Tsalyani - Hello!

Where can I order a Jake for me?

Never Have I Ever…

Pairings: Jake Jensen x female reader (not My Best Friend, Jensen verse)

Warnings: explicit sexual content- oral (female receiving), explicit language, talk of past inadequate lovers, asshole ex-boyfriend, a dash of angst, pinning, pussy worship kink (is that a thing?) praise kink, implied smut, Jake being the fictional boyfriend we all deserve (18+)

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: this is not JJ x sunshine from My Best Friend, Jensen.

This is not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

'But like... never?' Jake asked, squinting in disbelief, ‘never?’

'Um... no' you shrugged, embarrassed at your admission, 'can you hand me that folder?'

You had been paired with Jensen for a huge project at work and had gotten to know him over the past few months. You'd even consider him a friend at this point. And it was a good thing, since you were now sitting cross-legged on the floor of your office, folders spread all around you as you spilled-your-guts to him about the most embarrassing part of your love life. Or lack of love life to be exact.

'OK... so like some guys can't find the g-spot... with their...' Jake cleared his throat and cocked his head slightly down towards his lap, 'but not even with his fingers or tongue?'

'I don't know...' you said, face burning with embarrassment as you tried to hide behind a folder.

'You don't know?' Jake asked, going silent while he processed your words, 'wait... did he ever go down on you?'

You were silent, chewing at your bottom lip, pretending to run the numbers again as you avoided his question. Your gut turning painfully as you worked to keep your breathing steady. This was a mistake.

'Y/N?' Jake's voice was raised in disbelief, leaning over to catch your gaze, 'hey?' His voice softened, the concern in his tone made your heart ache.

'It's not a big deal, Jake' you tried to brush it off like it didn't bother you. It's what you always told yourself at least. But deep down you knew you were lying. And something told you Jake did too.

'Not a big deal?' He choked, 'your dumbass ex boyfriend never gave you an orgasm... never tasted you and you're trying to tell me that's not a big deal?'

'Tasted me?' You squeaked, you could feel the heat wash over your face in waves, the warmth reaching your ears.

'Hell yeah, tasted you' he said from his chest, 'I love tasting the woman I'm with... laying her out, spending as much time as I can between her sweet thighs, making ‘em tremble, making her scream my name. It gets me so fuckin' hard.'

'Oooh' you managed a shaky breath as you felt an ache build deep in your belly. An ache that was too deep to reach with your fingers or your vibrator. You whimpered when Jake looked up at you, his tongue darting out to wet his pink lips.

'It really is one of my favorite things about being with a woman' he continued, as you eyes flickered to his lips, discreetly pressing your thighs together for some much needed relief. You shifted in your work-appropriate sundress, bottom lip sucked between your teeth as you hung on his every word.

'It's intimate and soft and beautiful... making a woman fall apart in your mouth' he said, his voice low and warm as you squirmed, arousal pooling in your panties.

'It's my fault, really' you offered, absentmindedly, still staring at that perfect-pink-pout, 'the ex always said I couldn't relax enough t-to cum.'

'What? Oh, fucking come on' Jake practically snarled, rolling his eyes and punching the floor as he leaned back against the base of your cushioned arm chair, his head hitting it with a soft thud.

Jake's reaction made you startle as your thoughts were pulled back to your work project and the time.

'Yeah... well' you coughed, clearing your throat uncomfortably, 'maybe if we ever finish this project I'll loosen up enough to meet a guy...'

'That's bullshit' Jake grumbled, 'please tell me you know that's bullshit' his glasses were off and he was pinching the bridge of his nose, rubbing his tired eyes in frustration.

'Y/N...' he sighed, putting his glasses back on and giving you an incredulous look, 'this has nothing to do with you...'

'You don't know that' you said, eyes prickling with tears as you busied yourself with putting papers back in folders and started stacking them neatly beside you. It was well past time to call it a night.

'I do' he sighed, leaning his elbow on the seat of your chair as he angled his long lean body towards yours, 'that asshat shoulda been working to relax you... you know… get your pussy ready so he can take you apart over and over... and over' he emphasized, suggestively.

'Well there was never even one over... so there couldn't be multiple overs...' you snorted, 'um... remind me why you're single again?' You teased.

'Why are you?' He shot back, but his voice didn't have his usual playfulness to it.

'I told you... frigid bitch' you smirked, your self deprecating sense of humor usually earning you at least a pity chuckle from Jake, but this time he remained stoic, unspoken emotion burning in his eyes.

Jake took a deep steadying breath, his jaw clicking as he smoldered with an emotion you hadn't seen from him before... Anger.

Jake was angry. He was fuming in fact. And for the first time since you had started working on this project, you wanted to be anywhere else then with him.

You finished stacking the rest of the folders with no help from Jake, leaning on all fours to reach the ones farthest from you. You swear you heard a low rumble in his chest when you leaned just over him.

'Well... um... I'll see you tomorrow' you stumbled over awkward words as Jake pushed off the floor, rising slowly to his feet. It was the first time you realized just how much taller he was then you.

He still hadn't said a word, was just glowering down at you with a smolder that made a tingle snake up your spine, your heart hammered against your rib cage. You shifted uncomfortably, the slick in your panties making your thighs stick together under your dress.

'Y/N' Jake growled your name as you moved to get up, he offered you a hand and you accepted, tired legs wobbling a little, regaining your balance as you smoothed your hands down the length of your dress, a nervous habit.

'I'm sorry... I...' you began, but Jake was pulling you into his chest as he ducked down, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss as if he needed you to breath. His large hands tentatively framing your face, his action a contrast to the burning need he felt for you. You leaned into the kiss, needing him just as much as he needed you.

'I wanna taste you' his voice was low as he took the time to explore your mouth, sitting down and pulling you, still standing, between his thighs.

You nodded against his lips, carding your hands through his hair as your tongue swept into his mouth. Jake groaned, gripping at your soft curves before his hands smoothed down your hips. Your breath hitched when his warm fingers cradled one of your knees, gently opening you up.

Jake pressed his forehead to your belly, shivering you could feel the warmth of his kisses chaining over the fabric that covered your thighs. Your hands went to his broad shoulders as his fingertips softly traced up your bare legs. You held your breath when his finger hooked into the string waistband of your panties resting low on your hips.

'This OK?' He asked, staring up at you, the cool blue of his eyes dancing with desire.

You bit your bottom lip, nodding your answer as your entire body trembled with anticipation.

'Need ya to use your words, pretty' he goaded, 'been waitin’ so long to taste you... fuck, can't tell you how many nights I left here rock-hard just dreaming about this sweet cunt on my tongue' he has tugging your panties down your legs as a breathy yes was pulled from your throat, a chant on your lips.

Jake groaned when he got your panties off your body, stuffing the delicate ruined fabric in his back pocket.

'Smell even sweeter then I imagined' he hummed, pressing a chaste kiss to your cloth covered clit, pausing there to inhale your scent.

You whimpered, impatiently, wiggling your hips and grinding up into his face, seeking any sort of relief for your swollen bundle if nerves.

'Still not a big deal, baby?' He teased as a sob escaped your lips, you trembled, knees weak as you fought the urge to collapse.

'Shhhhhh' Jake cooed, 'I got you, pretty' he smiled softly, removing his glasses and tossing them to the side table before taking the hem of your sundress and bunching it up to your waist, he hooked your leg behind the knee and slowly brought it up over his shoulder, never breaking eye contact with you as he gave you time to adjust to your new position. He didn't even flinch when your nails dug into the meat of his broad shoulders, trying to steady yourself.

'Gonna show you just how much of a treat you are' his words came in hot puffs over your mound as you stared down at him, body tense with nerves.

Jake's nose ran up the length of your folds before diving right in, sucking your pearl into his mouth in a messy kiss that stole the breath from your lungs.

‘Fuck, taste so good’ he hummed his appreciation, a man starved.

The chorus of moans Jake was pulling from you was heaven to his ears. They started soft and timid as you rocked over his strong tongue but soon enough you were grinding into him, needing more.

'Oh, god, Jake' you gasped, 'please....please' you whined, not even sure what you were pleading for until he speared into your center, fucking you with his thick tongue.

Your body jolted forward, catching yourself on the back of the chair when he added a finger to where his tongue was fucking into you. Jake groaned possessively as his finger curled into your spongey walls and hooked into a spot that made you see stars.

'Fuck, Jake' you choked, squirming as the pressure in your belly built hot and heavy.

'Come on, pretty' Jake praised, 'doing so good for me' he said, licking a thick strip up your folds as he palmed his impossibly hard cock.

'I can't' you whined, overwhelming pleasure flooding your senses. You gasped when he took handfuls of your ass, rocking your hips into his mouth as he sucked your pearl with a harsh flick of his tongue.

You sobbed when the coil in your belly snapped, unraveling as a warmth washed over your entire body and you collapsed into Jake's chest utterly sated as your heart kicked against your rib cage.

Jake pressed his wet lips to your dewy crown, smirking when he noticed the tear stains streaking your cheeks. You were completely wrecked in the prettiest way possible.

'You wanna see what real pleasure tastes like?' He murmured against your temple, gripping your ankle and shifting you until you were straddling his lap.

'Yes' you panted as he crashed his lips to yours, the tang of your arousal still on his tongue as you felt his heavy length press against your sensitive mound, making you cry out.

You groaned, breaking the kiss too soon as you pressed your forehead to his, suddenly feeling self conscious.

So... that's cumming?’ you whispered against his lips, the corners of your mouth curling into a shy smile.

'Oh, pretty' his laugh was warm, 'that’s just a taste…wait until you're making a mess on my cock.'

You whimpered, pressing a hard kiss to his lips before pulling back and helping him with his glasses.

‘That’s better’ he smiled up at you, ‘hi, pretty girl’ Jake said.

You buried your face into the crook of his neck, butterflies fluttering in your chest. You sighed, tired and happy as you lazily ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, ducking down for a soft, shy kiss.

‘Thank you’ you whispered, suddenly feeling the weight of every asshole you ever dated all at once.

‘Hey, it’s OK’ he soothed, ‘you did so good, baby… so good’ he smiled caressing your cheek as he wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

‘Can I…’ he started and stopped, ‘can I make you cum again?’ he asked, ‘I'll take you out to dinner first' he offered, flashing you his boyish grin.

‘Why wait for dinner’ you sniffled, smiling down at him with a soft giggle as he wrapped his big arms around you, pulling you into the first of many filthy kisses.

The divider was made by the talented and lovely @firefly-graphics 🖤

As always, thanks for all the love 🖤

Posting this here because ya never know who needs to hear this. It’s something that I really need to hear most days so hopefully this helps whoever also needs a little reminder. 💖

Also tagging a few friends. 🥰 @deathonyourtongue @superrezzy00 @tarashari-tfp @munteanhore @nuggsmum @mareethequeen @islanddgal @themyscxiras @starrynite7114 @felicity-x0 @beloved-imp @breanime @lavenderrosemind @theoceanhathsolace @jackburtonsays

US Helplines:

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I may or may have not teared up a bit

This is so sweet and an awesome reminder that there are no ugly people, only a judgemental society

How do you think Lee or any of your characters will react to an ugly reader (like me)?

Ugly reader? I'm sorry but I've never heard of such a thing. I don't think I know anyone in this world I would term ugly based on appearance. You, my lovely, gorgeous anon are beautiful and I will not stand for anyone calling you ugly, not even yourself.

You wanna know how the boys will react to you? Read on.

Steve Rogers: The moment he hears you call yourself ugly he stops what he's doing and just looks at you. He frowns, looking almost confused as he gazed at you. He takes your hand and pulls you into his massive chest, brushing your hair back so he could see you clearly.

"Ugly? You? The girl who shines so bright she lights the world around her, you're calling her ugly? Who gave you the right to talk about my best girl like that eh? No one compares to you, not from back in the 40s, not today. You’re the beacon of light that keeps me grounded doll. Gotta show you how beautiful you really are"

And he proceeds to do just that.

Bucky Barnes: He heard you say to Nat that a dress won't look pretty on your ugly body. That night, he sneaks in your room and crawls inside the covers with you, holding your body tight to his. He took your in his and metal one, lips at your ear.

"What do you see when you look at me?" He asked.

"A broken beautiful man deserving of love" you answered automatically. He tips your chin up so that he could look in your eyes, the tenderest of look swimming in the blues.

"I see the same when I look at you. I see a woman who found the most scarred man and still loved him. I see a woman so pure I fear I'll taint her with my bloody hands. Never call yourself ugly, never again."

Lee Bodecker: Lee straight away snorts when you call yourself ugly. He rolled his eyes at you as he swiftly gathers you in his arm and sits you on his lap. He takes his hat and puts it on your head, the rim falling loose and slipping over your forehead so he had to push it up with a finger. 

"You're the only pretty thing in this shitty town. You've got a heart as big as my tummy" he takes your hand and pressed it into his soft flesh "you're the only one whose smile I'd both die for and kill for. Ugly my ass, you're the most beautiful gal I know and you're all mine".

Ransom Drysdale: "What the fuck did you just say?" He asked when you said you look ugly. You look at him aghast, not expecting the outburst. He stepped closer, putting his arms on either side of you and looking at you intently. 

"Have you met my family? My fucked up, greedy aunts and uncles? Have you met my mother? They wear a thousand dollars clothes and still manage to be the cheapest people I have ever met. And you? You can wear a burlap sack and would still be the prettiest flower because you found it in you to love a shitty brat like me. Now come here so I can show you how beautiful you are."

Andy Barber: He was driving when you made the comment, the word ugly said almost unconsciously. You blinked when he stopped the car, turning to look at you.

"I've studied law for over nearly two decades and there are two things that I know are wrong with them. The first one is that it should be illegal for anyone to be as beautiful, as amazing as you, and the second that it should be a punishable offense for anyone to call such a woman as yourself ugly. I'm a lawyer, trust my judgement. Nod if you understand."

You nod, he smiled and restated the car, one hand reaching over to pull yours in his lap.

Tony Stark: He knocked over the lab apparatus he was working with and stared at you incomprehensibly. He had that expression on his face that he reserved for idiots who didn’t understand his science lingo.

"What the hell are you on about? Sweetpie, you love a man who made weapons that killed hundreds. You gave me your love when I didn't deserve any. You gave my kindness when I didn't deserve any. You think anyone who's ugly could do that? I'll book an appointment with the ophthalmologist, you need to get those eyes checked."

Loki : He was in the middle of polishing his blade and the moment the words "I am ugly" passed your lips that blade shot out and embedded itself in the opposite wall.

"i am a man of magic. I can create the most unthinkable illusions with my mind and hands, and yet no matter how proficient I get, I'll never be able to create something as beautiful as you. You need to stop talking like this, I don't like it when people disrespect those that I hold dear."

Sherlock Holmes : He shut the newspaper he was reading and put it on the desk behind him as he pinned you with his stare. 

"When I search for something, I usually get it because I have a gaze that doesn't miss much. My every quest for beauty and love has led me to you. My mind and heart have never seen anything as beautiful as you. I am Sherlock Holmes, I don't lie. Believe me when I say you haven't got an ugly bone in your body.”

He opened his arms, asking you to come to him.

“I am a detective, let me show you the evidence of how utterly breathtaking you are.”

+++++

So my dear anon, I need you to shut up about this. You’re not ugly. You are worthy and amazing and beautiful and all things nice in this world. 

The Half Hour S05E09 – Emily Heller

Idea: dragon Jaskier but he doesn't know he's a dragon (he himself is confused why he isn't aging). He only finds out when Geralt is in mortal danger and his fight or flight reflex kicks in!!!

Jaskier doesn’t like thinking about time. He’s a very vain creature, he can admit that - he likes his silks and colorful clothes, expensive oils, takes care of his skin and nails, even on the Path. He’s vain and so he doesn’t like thinking about time when he’ll be wrinkled and gray and everything will hurt.

Aside from being vein, that’s what scares him the most.

The idea that one day his body will refuse to cooperate, that one day he won’t be able to follow his wanderlust. Won’t be able to follow Geralt.

That’s why he doesn’t think about it at all. Yes, Jaskier’s aware that he’s been walking the Continent with Geralt for decades now but well, he feels okay, nothing hurts, aside from some old wounds.

He has a feeling that they’re both avoiding thinking about his mortality. Sometimes, Jaskier catches his lover looking at him with sad eyes, when they pass a village where a funeral took place not long ago.

When that happens, Jaskier pulls his Witcher into his arms and pets his hair until Geralt can’t think of anything but his love and sleep. It works for years.

With all the not-thinking about Jaskier’s mortality, they haven’t really had an occasion to think about Geralt’s mortality. Jaskier makes sure his reckless lover doesn’t take contracts that sound impossible to too dangerous for one Witcher, and he’s always there after a hunt to take care of his wounds.

However, it turns out that monsters are not what’s really a threat to Geralt’s life. Jaskier stares in horror at the small army of the local Duke that apparently doesn’t want to pay Geralt the small fortune he owes the Witcher for the nest of vampires.

They look at the armed men, aware that there’s no way they can leave this place alive.

“Go,” Geralt snarls at him, gripping a sword. “They don’t want you.”

“Like fuck I’m leaving you,” Jaskier hisses, suddenly angry. People are coming for his Witcher and he hates it when people come for his Witcher.

Geralt is…precious to him. No one gets to hurt his precious Witcher.

Suddenly, there’s something warm in his chest. Warmth that grows and spreads until it feels like he has a blazing fire in his chest, rumbling and tumbling until it’s ready to spill.

“Geralt, run,” he manages to gasp before the world shakes and everything shifts.

When Jaskier opens his eyes again, his wings are spread and he feels invincible. He doesn’t know what’s happening aside from that fact that these people are a danger to his treasure and he will kill them all.

He roars, head thrown back and spots fire at them, just above their heads, watching in satisfaction as they scramble and panic, screams rising on the hill.

His treasure his hidden safely by his side and Jaskier curls his tail around Geralt, pressing him close.

“Jaskier?” he hears from behind when they’re left alone and it’s another strange instinct to shift smaller and smaller until he’s in Geralt’s arms.

“I remember,” he gasps.

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x