Behond One If The Funniest Things Ive Seen On Reddit In A Hot Minute

the transition im crying

What Comes After type beat

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

halloween isat

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

Happy Birthed Day @insertdisc5

a quick doodle you wished for and a quick doodle you get

wish you much many more years of being Evil (complimentary)

It's really interesting to conceptualize that after the Dawn of Revival, Music recordings may have become a bit of a lost artifact until magic could be developed to read magnetic tape or records or CDs. Queen's early songs may have actually been lost to time at this point

The reason Sol and Axl are best friends in Xrd is because they're the only people who will get their 100 year old music references.

This is canon and you can't convince me otherwise.

“sorry i can’t come out, i have plans”

the plans: