when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything
love bullet is probably one of the strongest first volumes of a yuri that I've read in awhile like the way it handles grief, moving on, and missed opportunities in life due someone dying young is genuinely captivating
pride clouds
DO NOT REPOST TO PINTEREST!
me: why are you destroying earth!!!
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
Aliko Dangote, the richest man in Africa, has been tormented by a Brazilian man named Osvaldo for the last several years.
I JUST REALIZED THE OCEAN MAN WANTS YOU TO TAKE HIM BY THE HAND
also have some goofy oldish doodles of my favorite ocean man
Turtwig spotted, reblog engaged
What it’s like when you and the gang are in different fandoms
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
They/ThemUnsure what I'm doing at any given moment, really good at yugioh I guess
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