Hey Everyone, I Know It's Going To Be A Busy Day For A Lot Of People, But Google Enrolled Everyone Over

I find the fact that the closest mountain point on earth to the moon, the highest mountain and the tallest mountain are 3 different mountains to be a tiny bit disturbing

get up.

pathetic rizz

this came to me in a literal fever dream

inspired by this

Moon knight sketches

Could you do “Why did you choose me?” for Parkner?

"Why did you choose me?"

Harley's head turns suddenly, the words registering in his mind but not fully comprehending.

In his defense, he isn't expecting that sort of question while they're standing in the canned vegetable aisle of the grocery store.

Harley had been in an intense mental debate between two different brands of baked beans when Peter said the words that still aren't making sense.

"To go... grocery shopping with me?" Harley asks slowly.

"No. I... to be with you."

"At the grocery store?"

"In this relationship."

Harley blinks, the confusion quickly shifting into concern and alarm. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Something's gotta be wrong if you're asking questions like that while holding a can of Del Monte corn. Which, maybe set that down before you crack it open." Harley gently pulls the now very dented can from Peter's hand, his touch slackening his grip. Harley intertwines their fingers. "Where's this comin' from?"

"There's a lot of corn in the world."

"...Yeah I guess so. Tennessee's more of a soybean state than corn, but I know there's the yellow and purple kind. Probably more. There's blue ones right? Because the chips are blue." He pauses. "We should get some salsa."

"Harley," Peter says, grabbing Harley's hand as he starts to drift towards the canned tomatoes. "There's a lot of corn in the world. There's corn on the cob and the kind that come off the cob in freezer bags and kernels that turn into popcorn—"

"I don't think I'm following."

"—and there's the kind that comes in the can," Peter finishes, breath heaving like he's just single-handedly fought of a whole hoard of aliens. "And... and the kind that comes in the can is tinny and it's submerged in water and you've gotta drain the water out and when you warm it up it gets hard but if you don't then it's lukewarm unless you put it in the fridge and have it cold but then the can is cold—"

"Peter," Harley says, grabbing Peter's face in his hands.

"I'm like canned corn. I've got all these extra steps and extra problems and extra baggage and trauma and you could have the corn on the cob or the frozen corn or anything easier than canned."

Harley stares at Peter, mind racing as it finally clicks. He runs a thumb over Peter's cheek and presses a soft kiss to his forehead.

"Corn on the cob's gotta be shucked. It makes a mess and doesn't always break easily and you gotta cook it and it doesn't taste the same if you boil it or broil it or grill it."

Peter's eyes go wide, clearly not expecting this response.

"Frozen corn's gotta be warmed up too. You can put it in the microwave but when you pour it, it's got boiling hot juice and condensation that spills on your hand when cut it open. And if you leave it in the fridge too long it gets stale and covered in frost and gets stuck together in one big ice-corn cube."

Harley taps his finger on Peter's chin, making a face like he's pretending to think. "And, y'know, now that you say it, I don't actually know how to make my own popcorn. I just get the kind that comes in the bag that you pop right into the microwave. I'm guessing it takes a lot of skill to not get everywhere and cook just right."

Harley smiles. "But I like canned corn a lot. It's reliable. You know what you're getting and you know it's gonna be good. And yeah, sure, cooking it might be a pain, but I don't see anything wrong with how it is. Just a spoon and a can of corn, juice and all."

Harley shakes Peter lightly by the shoulders. "I love you because you're you, Peter. Not because it's always gonna be easy. Not because you're the simplest choice. But because you're you, all of the tin and juice and inability to warm up."

Peter chuckles wetly.

"So you know what? Even if you've got more extra steps than the frozen corn or more problems than the corn on the cob or more trauma than the corn kernels — which, in my opinion, I think whatever that process is to turn it into popcorn is so much more traumatic than whatever you've got," Peter laughs again, "know that it's all worth it. Because I love you. And you're worth taking the extra steps. And you're also worth not taking any extra steps at all and just accepting who you are already."

Michael A Davenport, 3,090 Degrees Fahrenheit (Oil on canvas, 2025)

30in x 48in

Not so friendly reminder:

SPIDER-MAN SHOULD NEVER BE RICH

He can have money and constantly be forgetting about it but if I dont see him subconsiouly worry about rent or groceries at least ONCE even if he DOES have the money and just constantly is worried because he was poor before.

Peter Parker is AT MOST allowed to be comfortable. And I mean "Dosn't stress about rent" comfortable not owns a house with a 3 car garage and an in ground pool comfortable.

If I see any one of you fucks give Peter a private jet or not shocked about gas prices or how much fruit costs now you're loosing a finger.

Even if Tom's Spider man now is heavily assocated with stark industries he should whole ass be asking happy if he can afford to take MJ on dates.

"Hey do you think I can afford that new bistro?"

"What like... buy it?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you want to buy the place or??"

"No! I just wanted to take her out for lunch... I can do that!?? Since when?" And then he goes on a whole rant about how he's just a kid and dosn't deserve all that money- then probably gives the majority of it away.

Spider-man is a "Give back to the community." Hero. He is literally a man for the people. He's not in it for profit, he dosnt even want to make a profit. He just wants enough to live off of, pay off his debts, and maybe eat good thai food sometimes with his friends.

Capiche? Understand?? Good. Don't let me see this guy have 2 fucking summer homes ever again. I don't care if he's the owner of Parker inc either, brother is also extremely nice to public service workers. He would never be rude to a cashier. Never be an ass to a chauffeur and definitely not say, "Do you know who I am?" In a place of business unless he's threatening a villain.

Carry on with your day :)

Omniscient reader's gunpoint 😭

It has been a great day at Dragon Con. I found this in the Marriot,and when I solved it, a child dressed as a Korok ran out to give me a piece of candy.

This Year’s Nominations

Fic Nominations

Best in Fluff

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“confessions (just for you)” by blxrryfxcxd

“(A Picture Can Say) A Thousand Words” by shipskicksandgiggles

“You’re Breathtaking” by Tea_For_One_Please

“Pete, I’m Fake Drunk and Wanna Go Home” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in Hurt/comfort

“a rainbow doesn’t always have a pot of gold” by Scarlettpin

“She’s My Sister” by Weirdness_36

“For the First Time, Eye to Eye” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in Angst

“Tools to Fix You” by shipskicksandgiggles

“we were all just humans” by MayWilder

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

“rise and fall of the tides” by enzhe, MayWilder

Best in Fieldtrip

“Obligatory Field Trip Fic” by Dredfulhapiness

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Social Media AU

“A Spider on the Web” by bee bark (nachtwaechterin)

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“creeper, aw man” by impravidus

“twitter beef so salty and scalding hot that it’s a well done steak” by impravidus

Best in Post-No Way Home

“We’re Happy To Serve You” by ExcaliburLibrary

“After You” by WaywardKeener

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

Best in Non-canon Compliant

“Space in Your Bed” by PeachyKeener

“we were all just humans” by MayWilder

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

“Tennessee Whiskey” by Superstitious

“Lemon Boy” by Sarah_Sandwich

Best in College/University

“Too busy being yours” by everythingisconnected

“Or Whatever” by shipskicksandgiggles

“The Hottie Across the Hall” by coconutknightshade

“i wish that i was homeward bound” by thompsborn

Best in Superhero Harley Keener

“it’s always who is spider-man, never how is spider-man” by i_regret_thatpersonalityquiz

“saving peter” by thompsborn

“Parkner Meets Miraculous Ladybug Tropes” by impravidus

Best in Identity Reveal

“Spider At Home (ah-ah)” by the_oncoming_stormageddon

“Simply the Best” by impravidus

“As You Wish” by Superstitious

“Tennessee Whiskey” by Superstitious

Best in Future Fics

“Head in the Stars” by shipskicksandgiggles

“not done yet” by thompsborn

“no one else was in the room where it happened” by LilacsAndLilies

Best in Proposal/Marriage

“The Proposal” by impravidus

“Stuck in the Middle” by impravidus

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Tony Stark Involved

“The Hottie Across the Hall” by coconutknightshade

“Potato Gun Mechanics” by hisfirstnamesagent

“Devils in the Details (but you got a friend in me)” by PeachyKeener

“Well, this is awkward” by Saturning

Best in Soulmates

“Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions” by sammiespider

“Garden Growing” by saladbabie

“promises, promises, promises” by MayWilder

“Skin-Deep” by m4xw3ll

Art Nominations

Best in Digital Art

Harley Keener Introduced At CEO of SI by TEDDY

"Laddie & Spidey !!" by cqlementine

Unnamed by Darka

Best in Physical Art

Aka Peter and Harley won’t stop flirting by Mauvera

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Collage Art

For October Parkner Week by EmmaElsa0000

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Creator Nominations

Best in New Writers

Weirdness_36

DiAngelosBae

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in OG Writers

@official-impravidus

@thompsborn

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option

Best in Artist

@peanuttoffee

@cqlementine

Will be open for last minute nominations during voting, provide link in other option