"was It Dishes Again" Yes

Me, age 6, playing with my imaginary friends (they can take over my body and I don’t remember it)

a list of silly moshang ideas

for your entertainment and bc i had fun compiling them LOL

shang qinghua being so sexually expressive with his desires that mobei jun is a blushing miserable mess. like either they've gotten together and now that shang qinghua is comfortable knowing he's got his man, he just lets loose with everything on his mind. and sure, mobei jun is dtf and happy to try anything shang qinghua suggests, but that doesnt mean that the way shang qinghua can just shamelessly say the most unhinged and kinky shit doesn't literally make him about to explode with fluster. or even just the mundane way that shang qinghua will grope or talk to him. just qinghua slumps down next to his husband and cuddles against his side, when suddenly shang qinghua just rests a hand on his dick and sighs wistfully "man i love the shape of you inside of me" and wtf is mobei jun supposed to do with that?! other than become very flustered and maybe bring that into reality. but also its not like shang qinghua is even coming on to him. he just likes to cuddle and grope his hubbys huge dick. mobei jun was not prepared for just how comfortable with sex, sexual topics, and touching shang qinghua would be and he is losing his mind just a little bit. alternatively, on the slowburn side of this idea, shang qinghua and mobei jun are still Just Friends, but now that shang qinghua is comfortable at his side, he lets himself say all sorts of filthy shit bc he's just like "ah guy friends can talk abt dirty shit right? half my topics with cucumber-bro are sexual in nature (bc of the fucking novel they're stuck in), half of the convos i had online were sexual in nature (bc of the novel he wrote), so it's totally normal to just talk to a bro about the intricacies of the kama sutra and shit like that lol". meanwhile mobei jun is Losing His Fucking Mind because sure, half his conversations with shang qinghua are perfectly normal things. work, travel, hobbies, and all that stuff. but then the other half is just the most filthy stuff that mobei jun never dared to imagine and its all pouring out of the mouth of the man that he wants more than breathing and He Is Not Okay Right Now

kitty!mobei jun sitting on airplanes head. i'm thinking a shapeshifting demon OR mobei jun hit with a transformation curse. anyway, modern day so either he got dumped between worlds or its just a modern au where demons just exist and humans are none the wiser. anyway, airplane is just a shitty writer who is doing his best when suddenly this cat decided "your house is my house bitch" and now he's just accepted his fate and the cat sits on his head while he writes and bothers him all day and literally kicked him off his bed. altho nowadays the cat will very reluctantly let airplane cuddle with him on the bed, but claws are always on the table. and airplane just kinda wonders if this is how everyone gets a cat bc wtf is happening and how is this his life

shang qinghua handing mobei jun a document to sign and he does so unthinkingly, bc he trusts qinghua, and a moment later shang qinghua is whooping because "AHAHAHA NOW WE'RE MARRIED AND YOU CANT GET OUT OF IT BWAHAHA" and he just doesnt have the heart to tell qinghua that there was literally no need to trick him into this, he absolutely would have done it knowingly because it's kinda funny to watch shang qinghua lose his mind over his "diabolical plot" succeeding (look as soon as airplane figured that mobei prolly wouldnt kill him for it, he was willing to do just about anything to tie that man down). mobei jun just likes how his now husband looks when he's "won"

mobei jun slumped against shang qinghua while he goes about his day and everyone watching on in confused fear as the king of the north just drapes himself all over shang qinghua and shang qinghua just keeps working as if nothing is going on. all the servants in the palace feeling deeply uncomfortable, but they can't do anything about it and shang qinghua just waves off anyone who asks about it and is the king purring?!

shang qinghua wearing a sexy maid costume completely shamelessly while mobei jun tries to cover him up. shang qinghua thinks the costume is hilarious and he has no idea what the outfit is DOING to poor mobei jun, much less all of the very "looking disrespectfully" looks he's earning from others bc he just thinks it's funny as fuck. altho even after he learns that mobei jun is about to lose his mind over it, he's just as shameless except now he's doing it on purpose and someone send help, mobei jun is gonna have a heart attack.

mobei jun biting shang qinghua's ear when he loses an argument before storming away. like no explanation, nothing. just he loses an argument, he bites shang qinghua's ear, and he storms away in a huff. bonus if it's before they're in a relationship so shang qinghua is doubly confused as to just What The Fuck Just Happened

mobei jun waking up to see shang qinghua asleep at his side and marveling at the sight. simple and fluffy, he just loves the soft moments in the morning when he can just bask at the easy intimacy between them and how special it feels to be with the one he loves.

dimension hopping time-traveling pidw!mobei jun finds himself in the pivotal moment when he first met og!shang qinghua. he's about to intervene when he sees that shang qinghua is about to bash his head in with a rock (the same way that the original did) but then he's confused when THIS shang qinghua doesnt do it and suddenly he's aware that the mannerisms of THIS shang qinghua are completely different than the servant he once knew and he's left wondering if this is another time traveler or something else. so he watches airplane!shang qinghua rescue his younger self while following along in the background and wondering just what the hell is going on

twin au: og!shang qinghua berating airplane!shang qinghua for his horrible taste in men. the plot twist is that the entire conversation is happening while airplane!shang qinghua is seated in mobei jun's lap, who doesnt give a shit about the conversation so long as he can hug his airplane to his chest and nap. his head resting on airplane's shoulder and arms wrapped firmly around him while the brothers chit-chat about everything and anything, although mostly just og!shang qinghua hating on mobei jun bc he would like his twin back "once in a century, you clingy piece of shit" and mobei jun oculd not give the tiniest fuck. bonus if wei qingwei eventually picks og!shang qinghua up for their date or smth like that lol

binghe and qinghua plotting diabolical sexy plans for their partners together, to the quaking (horny) fear of shen yuan and mobei jun

shang qinghua bursting in after a long day of hard work and using mobei jun as a lap pillow without any regard for what mobei jun was currently doing. just mobei jun in the middle of an important meeting and now suddenly this tiny human bursts in and curls up on his lap in a huff and mobei jun continues on as though everything is totally normal and everyone else is trying not to lose their shit bc wtf

mobei jun bursting into shang qinghua's home and dragging him to bed for cuddles without any regard for what qinghua was doing. qinghua doesnt even have time to ask or pause what he's doing before suddenly he's been kidnapped to the designated Cuddle Spot where mobei jun won't let go and won't explain and oki its cuddle time i guess

airplane watching in horror as ring-style mobei jun crawls out of his computer screen. look, he's just a humble porn author, he was not prepared for one of his creations to CRAWL OUT OF THE COMPUTER LIKE THAT. he cannot be blamed for the way he screamed, tried to run away, or tried to push mobei jun back into the screen

shang qinghua casually bossing mobei jun around to the horror of those who witness it, even more horrifying when mobei jun responds with an angry glare that freezes over everything before just... doing it. secretly, mobei jun likes it. it's just embarrassing how much he likes it and thats why he's glaring. everyone else is wondering if shang qinghua has put some sort of obedience curse onto the king

shang qinghua being carried like a sack of potatos over mobei jun's shoulder while continuing a work meeting like nothing happened, an ding peak disciples having to scurry after the retreating demon lord as they take notes

mobei jun dragging airplane to bed and away from his computer, claw marks in the floor as airplane is dragged by the foot and trying to get back to his writing

kitten!mobei jun sleeping on airplane's keyboard, swatting at his hands every time airplane tries to move him.

shang qinghua having an oral fixation so he's always chewing on something while he thinks and it's sort of driving mobei jun insane. just shang qinghua mildly chewing on the end of a brush while he's thinking and why are so many of the objects that shang qinghua thoughtlessly puts in his mouth phallic?! HE IS NOT READY FOR THIS. mobei jun strugglign with the horny thoughts of "if he wanted, i'd let him suck on my cock while he's thinking" and just losing his fucking mind

mobei jun casually braiding shang qinghua's hair while shang qinghua hunches over paperwork

mobei jun carrying airplane under one arm and airplane!shang qinghua under the other arm with the self satisfaction of a man who has double the man he loves (bonus points for airplane to have a significantly different character design than shang qinghua)

mobei jun glaring with the hatred of a thousand suns whenever shang qinghua looks at him but whenever shang qinghua looks away, he looks soft and besotted. sha hualing is gonna vomit at this tsundere motherfucker

airplane wearing a hamster kigurumi wrapped up in mobei jun's arms

mobei jun casually stealing shang qinghua's melon seeds until shang qinghua loses his temper (but thats victory for mobei jun, secretly he was just trying to get his husbands attention)

Broke Boy Guide to Altar Offerings

Hey! Are you broke but still wanna offer something up to the gods? Don't worry! (So am i) So here's a guide of things that are either free, low cost or that you probably already own to slap onto those altars. Mind you: These are mainly modern offerings that I attribute to these different classification of gods. I'll likely update as time goes on with other classifications :)

General Offerings to Deities:

random flowers from outside

random sticks from outside

hand written letters/prayers

plushies of the animals they're connected to

raw/cooked meats as "sacrifices"

drawn symbols

Art/Creative Deities:

symbol painted bottle caps

pens/pencils/markers

old sketchbooks

stickers/prints

origami

comic books

figurines

Death Deities:

bones or meat from your meals

dirt from a dead plant

dying flowers

skull imagery

coins or other gifts for those passing

photo/belongings of your late loved ones

Familial/Household/Protector of Children Deities:

photobooth photos

jewelry gifted from family

baby teeth from your children

breast milk

old baby shoes

framed photo of family

cookies/bread

homecooked meals

Fire Deities:

birthday candles

charcoal discs

burnt herbs

alcohol

incense

tobacco

matchbox/lighter

Healing Deities:

your current medications

bandaids

water

skincare

vitamin gummies

spell jar in an empty pill bottle

Knowledge/Wisdom Deities:

old books & textbooks

pens/pencils

mini chess pieces

written down philosophical quotes

good test scores/report cards/degrees

Love/Lust Deities:

origami 3D hearts

chapsticks

unused makeup

love letters to deities

love letters about S/O or crush

current perfume/cologne

current lotions

apples

Nature Deities:

plants dedicated to them

herbal tea packets

feathers

milk

fruits/vegetables

spells using recycled materials (toilet paper rolls, etc.)

bread

acorns

Sea Deities:

beach sand

shells

sea water

tiny sea animal figurines

shared fish dinners

makeshift spell jar using a shell

Trickster Deities:

laffy taffy joke wrappers

cards against humanity packs

other comedy card games

third post today because it's been on my mind for a while and since we're back in business anyway

to all nontraumagens, you know why systems are against you?

cuz you aren't systems, but trying to invade system spaces. AND NO, SIT THE HELL BACK DOWN, let me explain. just for you, i will mark the keywords in different colours this time :)

you see, "system" is initially a medical term. "multiplicity" is a word associated with a medical condition, which happens to be basically synonymous to "plurality". which isn't medical. i don't support the usage of this word by systems, but i'm merely explaining why it happens

let's just hypothetically say, you can be plural without trauma. spiritually, religiously, by the means of taking substances, etcetera. that's still not a system. because it's a medical term. and one medical criterium for being a system (out of many) is that you are multiple without any of the above.

call those entities in your brain a joint, a commune, whatever you want! but not a system. please.

let's say i believe your plurality. i won't either say i 100% do or 100% don't, i never looked into that and this mutual aggression i see between systems and plurals doesn't make me wanna do it one bit. you say it yourself, it originates from something other than trauma! then it's different in nature. WHY are you trying to get into the spaces of traumatised people that aren't going to understand your experiences anyway? WHY are you trying to wage a war on the said traumatised people? Why do you come after those trying to make, in your words, their "endo-free internet bubble"? you can't shove acceptance down someone's throat, especially when your community acts like this.

have your own community. make terms that aren't medical. make flags, i see many of you are passionate graphic designers anyway. here's a couple of basic terms for you i just came up with! entity (part/alter), nucleus (host) walk-in (introject), guardian (protector), warden (gatekeeper), and so on. MAKE YOUR TERMS. PLEASE

tl;dr: endos, you don't belong in the system community only because our experiences differ. make yourself a new one, that won't touch people with severe trauma. this way, you won't have to harass and get harassed back.

sincerely, a traumascum.

to anti endos here, i get the fun you're getting from reclaiming the terms that endos make. do it with those that are based on medical and sys community exclusive ones. DON'T take the terms that are made by them to separate, for the love of god, you're prolonging this war. if you see them making an attempt at separating, leave them be. EVEN IF you don't believe in their experiences, EVEN IF you think you can't be plural without trauma, period, DON'T TOUCH THEM. they'll be in their own space we won't need to invade, and we'll be in ours. isn't it what we all want, for endos to get out of the system spaces?

upd.: a simple solution to systems that DO support nontraumagens! don't post about them in spaces exclusively made for traumatised people. because these spaces aren't about non-disordered plurals. post about them where it's appropriate, not wherever you want to. personally, i think you're still allowed to use your community tags, #systempunk included, but don't drag what doesn't belong in it in there.

nontraumagenics are welcome to interact only if they're being civil and understand my point. and only with this post. otherwise, if you decide to be a little shit to us, we will be meaner to you tenfold, just a warning.

since quite a bunch of endos decided to stir up shit and argue instead of actually understanding our point, hell naw, you AREN'T welcome to interact. i take it back. -💀

our inbox doesn't have anon asks turned on anyway :3

divorce lawyer mu tianchi au where the divorce lawyer is jinxed to fix the relationships they work on, even crazy messed up situations. he's completely unsure if this makes him the best or worst divorce lawyer out there, but he can't deny he enjoys a happy ending

(secretly his pet magical fish thinks divorce is super sad and has been matchmaking his clients LOL)

moshang:

mobei jun and shang qinghua did not properly communicate their marriage. there were no confessions, no outward sign of romance, just a progression from friendship, to seemingly fuck-buddies, to married. mobei jun thought their relationship was going well, but shang qinghua srsly had no idea why he was in this 'loveless' marriage other than he was clearly a simp. however, shang qinghua hit his limit at the third wedding anniversary when mobei jun's uncle said a lot of hurtful crap (mainly "you still clinging to my nephews thighs? cute how you think anyone could like you" linguang jun is actually perfectly aware that mobei jun is head-over-heels in love with his husband, but he's also aware of his nephews inability to communicate that fact and he's a spiteful bitch). and so shang qinghua decided that enough was enough and he didn't need this crap. mobei jun, being a master of communication, responded to shang qinghua's ask for a divorce with "you cant divorce me! i'm divorcing you!" because he's just great with his emotions guys, just great. best believe he was pulling his own hair out in frustration after shang qinghua stormed out with "WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT OMG" mobei jun hired mu tianchi, but constantly gave the lawyer conflicting instructions that were basically meant to slow the divorce process down to a crawl while he tried to figure out just how the hell to undo this mess shang qinghua, heart broken and PISSED, hired his own divorce lawyer and is deciding "oh it's spiteful bitch hours, i am going to take him for all he's worth, i'll have the house, the kids (there are no kids LOL), the cars, FUCK IT I'LL TAKE HIS DAMN PET HAMSTER" because shang qinghua is also just... fantastic with emotions li yu thinks the situation is very sad because he can tell that the two of them clearly still love each other and just don't know how to communicate. especially because when one or the other is left alone in the office where his fish tank is, they express as much. shang qinghua talking to himself and mobei jun just looking gutted and also sometimes on the phone. li yu decides that enough is enough! and he uses his limited time daily transformation (that he normally uses to try to steal snacks from mu tianchi LOL) to write moshang letters. he decides to write down their true feelings for one another as if they are writing to each other, the perfect solution! it winds up sort of effective lol, the pair of them wind up getting into a fight at the lawyers office over the mixed messages in the letters, realize the letters weren't written by the other person, but wind up confessing to the truth in the letters regardless and leave the office happily in love. mu tianchi really would like to know why they felt the need to do all those dramatics at his office and blacklisted them both as future clients lol

songxue

song lan and xue yang have, in the friendliest terms, a situationship. do they know how they wound up married? barely. closest either of them can communicate it, they married because of a scam (song lan's impression of xue yang's motivations) and because song lan is an easy mark (xue yang's impression of xue yang's motivations). feelings? what feelings! these two are e n e m i e s. and sure, the sex is good and yeah, they've been married for like, a few years now, and they live together and all that shit, but this is CLEARLY not because they love each other or anything crazy like that love? what love? xue yang is an absolute psycho and song lan is a stick in the mud! there's nothing between them! the straw that broke the camels back was apparently xue yang saying something precisely to this degree after coming home from, what looked and smelled to be, a lost bar fight and song lan had tried to patch him up. so the two of them fought and song lan demanded a divorce and xue yang scathingly replied with a "aww did it hurt your feelings to figure out i've never loved you one bit? go ahead! this marriage is a sham anyway!" and yeah, it just spiraled from there. (xue yang is not about to admit that he's deflecting, that he's hurt that song lan isn't denying how fake their marriage is, and that he's terrified over how weak song lan makes him feel) so song lan hires mu tianchi while looking haggard and heartbroken and li yu's heart breaks for the man, because a stoic guy with a warm heart? that reminds him of his tianchi and he is DETERMINED to help this poor man have a happy ending. although, after meeting xue yang, he's about 90% sure that no happy endings can be found with that guy. still, it's clear that song lan loved him and is feeling wretched about the divorce, so li yu opts to spy on xue yang to figure out if song lan's feelings are mutual! only li yu got caught almost immediately and now he has a switch-blade against his throat and wow, xue yang is TERRIFYING, li yu would like to go home now! in a desperate appeal for his life, li yu blurts out that he works for song lan's lawyer and he's here to deliver a message. which is not a very convincing lie and xue yang does not look convinced, but he's willing to listen so li yu spins a really unbelievable tale about delivering some paperwork that he forgot to bring with him and barely escapes and see, if li yu were the type to learn his lesson, it would end there, but nah, he tries to follow xue yang again with similar results and gets dragged back to mu tianchi's office by the scruff with a demand to "keep an eye on your stupid PI or i'll stab it in the face" and now mu tianchi has an arm full of li yu and no idea what the heck to do abt it. li yu also lies his way (badly) out of the situation with mu tianchi anyway on li yu's third attempt at stalking xue yang, he blurts out that he doesn't understand why xue yang is so desperate to dump someone as great as song lan and if he had a husband like that, he'd never let go (li yu is projecting and thinking of mu tianchi), but now he's accidentally presented himself to xue yang as a Love Rival and xue yang is COMPETATIVE, but the only way that song lan will take him back is like, emotional honesty and couples counseling and sincere apologies and a whole lot of shit that xue yang finds Terrifying. but he loses his shit when he sees li yu and song lan together (li yu has switched tactics and decided he should just convince song lan that he can do better) and he picks a fight with song lan and a few dramatic confessions later, the two of them are back together and li yu doesnt know wtf happened but uhhh they're happy i guess? mu tianchi is now very suspicious of the man named "li yu"

ranwan

mo ran and chu wanning sort of got married on accident and were never properly together. it was a drunken thing (on mo ran's end) and an inability to say no (on chu wanning's end) that made them wake up the next morning tangled in the sheets together with a wedding certificate still clenched in mo ran's greedy little hands. they left on awkwardly bad terms, vowing to never speak of it except now a few years later, mo ran has decided he needs a divorce so that he can marry someone new and better! (shi mei, altho he hasnt actually asked shi mei yet and doesnt know he'd get hella rejected LOL). chu wanning coldly accepts the divorce prospects which, for reasons beyond mo ran's comprehension, only makes him MORE pissed and he vows to make this divorce as miserable for chu wanning as possible! so mo ran hires mu tianchi and is searching for every single way he can make this process just grueling for chu wanning, who is still, frustratingly, accepting the situation without complaint. aside from general agitation over mo ran being a dick li yu sees through mo ran's incomprehensible stupidity and decides that he needs to teach him a lesson! for once, he's not here to match make, he's here purely out of the spite of "i NEED this idiot to know he's an idiot and realize he was wrong!" so li yu meets with mo ran, has a few uncomfortable encounters where he finds out that he's sorta mo ran's type, which is very ew in li yu's opinion, and pretends to be a secretary working at mu tianchi's office. he starts trying to wheedle out the reason that mo ran wants a divorce at all it takes an annoying amount of time to get mo ran to admit that he just wants chu wanning to care about him and an even more annoying amount of time to have him realize, that rather than a divorce, he'd like if their marriage was real. li yu feels like he should get paid for his services to society. serves mo ran right! now he's realized that he's an idiot long after it's too late! ok maybe it's a little sad, but it can't be helped! mo ran has to sleep in the bed he made! it comes as a surprise to li yu that chu wanning apparently was happy to stay married to that idiot??? no accounting for taste, but man, li yu can't say he would have made the same decision. at least they seem happy together. mu tianchi is actually pretty happy to lose this gig. mo ran was an awful client

caoxiang:

gu xiang and cao weining actually had a really romantic and lovely romance. the trouble is that gu xiang has a lot of trust issues due to her traumatic upbringing (her brother tried to protect her from the worst of it, but he wasn't in a good position to protect her either) and cao weining's father was apparently a two-faced scumbag who didn't think that gu xiang was worthy of his son. so, the scumbag ran a smear campaign against the couple while pretending to be supportive. he was unable to turn cao weining against gu xiang, but he was able to leave enough incriminating 'evidence' that cao weining was cheating on her and because of gu xiang's trust issues, she filed for divorce. cao weining would very much like NOT to divorce, but she won't meet with him outside of mediation meetings with lawyers. li yu, the useful lil demon fish that he is, found the evidence of cao weining's fathers actions and put it all in a neat file for gu xiang's terrifying older brother to find and exact his revenge. learning that she had been played, no vengeance was as fearsome as the revenge that gu xiang wrought. luckily, cao weining understood why she believed it, even though he was hurt, and accepted her apology. he also apologized profusely for his awful father. they went to 'fire' mu tianchi together as a happy couple. mu tianchi looked at his fish tank suspiciously.

li yu's least favorite people thus far: xue yang and mo ran. but so long as they remain good to their partners, li yu is more or less oki with them. his favorite one is song lan, bc he was reminded of mu tianchi LOL, and cao weining bc that man is a cinnamon roll. li yu's personal ratings of the ships are "moshang and caoxiang were just misunderstandings of otherwise loving couples, ranwan and songxue need couples counseling YESTERDAY and maybe a restraining order". but now he's committed. he's seen how even seemingly unfixable relationships can be helped! and he wants to help!

so he continues

liujiu

....li yu would like to let it be known, for the record, that he tried his best and he should not be held accountable for the shitshow that occurred. there were at least three broken bones, strangely all liu qingge's, two calls to emergency services, at least one poisoning attempt (courtesy of shen jiu), and at least one instance of child abuse. BUT, through ALL OF THAT, li yu can safely say that the two of them are.... happy?? probably???? mission successful?????? except now mu tianchi is hugging him possessively and refusing to let go and li yu now no longer has the brain energy for Other Peoples Problems, bc his problem is the most important one and that is that mu tianchi IS HOLDING HIM HOW DOES HE COPE AND HE'S GOING TO TRANSFORM SOON (liujiu were indeed successfully match-made. it's just that the chaos that is their relationship is difficult for li yu's fishy brain to comprehend, understandably so) mu tianchi eventually lets him escape, but he's starting to get the feeling that maybe mu tianchi is??? suspicious?? ohno

nieyao

...li yu is going to retire now, thankyou. HE'S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER DAMMIT (he is, he absolutely is, he manages it, he does, he.... does not get paid enough for this shit. WHY WERE THE LAST TWO CLIENTS LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER, THAT IS ABOVE HIS PAY GRADE! he does not get paid at all actually. wait, is mu tianchi getting paid for this?!) ((mu tianchi thoroughly no longer cares, he'll just make nice with his dad to get inheritance if he needs money, his establishment is now firmly in business to let li yu do whatever the fuck he wants with the shitshow of absolutely unhinged couples who seek out his help))

(i did have more ideas for liujiu and nieyao LOL but i ran out of steam, so please use your imagination x'D THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WERE SAVED BY THE POWER OF OUR ALMIGHTY FISHY OVERLORD, thankgosh)

((feel free to suggest to me super dysfunctional danmei ships for li yu to play matchmaker over and i will share my thoughts!))

---

a llittle reminder for endos❤

the future is not plural

DiD is a TRAUMA based disorder

Your guys keep spreading miss information

The syspunk is not made for you

You can't be a system without trauma

and its spiced up with fanon cannibalized characterization