Calvin's Parents Decide To Take A Hawai'ian Vacation. They're Not Sure How Much Of It Their Son Will

have you ever thought about slapping Aurora into a book? i think it'd look great on my shelf and it'd be easier to annoy my friends with 😎

oh right I can talk about this now

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

Elves (and other long lived fantasy races) as serial monogamists who have set end dates for their marriages; your first marriage contract is set for 50 years, and you can renew it if you're still happy by the end of it- but if not, or if you just want to try something new, you can part ways amicably and move on.

A second marriage is supposed to last longer (you should know what you like now that you've had practice with your first!) but you need a 'cooling off' period between marriages so many people don't get second married until their late 100's or early 200's... and of course you want to match with someone who is also on their second marriage, though 'mixed' marriages do occur. The calculations for the appropriate end date of a marriage based on age and previous status is a complex affair.

In the later stages mixed marriages are less of a problem and often considered ideal- towards the end of one's life one wants a slightly younger partner to be able to take care of them after all. Young enough that they'll have time to find a 'ending' partner of their own once their current spouse has passed, but not so young that they at completely different stages of life. Match makers are much more common for older folks than younger ones for this reason.

Of course this also creates avenues for unique tropes in the elven romantic annals. Star Crossed lovers who found each other when one was near the end and the other was just beginning; remarrying your first partner centuries later as you realize they were what you wanted all along; people coming to the end of their marriage who realize they don't want it to end- but does their partner feel the same???

The complex web of previous marriages this creates in elven societies is also a font for drama, and elves need to keep track of their various step parents and half siblings to avoid crossing family lines- (yet another reason not to date to far outside your age range). Nothing is more awkward than bringing home a new partner only to realize they're your mother's first wife.

Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

I'm starting a collection (X, X, X, X)

BONUS:

Help, I was going through pintrest for Puss in Boots from Shrek 2 and the Last Wish, and in the comments of one picture, someone said that Puss in Boots is the definition of Firestar looks wise. Now, all I can think of and hear is Firestar with Antonio Banderas voice!

I did not change any color when I stuck his face onto this book cover

mm fulled of eggs

So I had a funny dream the other night.

It involved a very gay witch.

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back