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Aroace - Blog Posts
uhhhh,gay ass!!???
someone: hey can you give me some relationship advice?
me who's aroace: communicate.
someone: I tried but it didn't-
me: break up. /hj
I think since accepting my Aroace self, I've forgotten to pay attention to what signals I'm sending to others that might be misunderstood and today reality slapped me in the face and told me not to be careless and Do not send false signals specially to heterosexual Allo cis men, because if they do not know that you are aroace, they will misinterpreted your kindness. I have this natural charm that I'm just nice to people and some people misinterpreted it as flirting but i'm just kind and i forget sometimes that they could take it the wrong way. To be honest, it scares me because I just want to be nice and nothing more, but I always have to think about what others might think of my niceness. Allo World is more Scary that Halloween.
The sad thing with my allo friends is that they think that romantic love is the strongest love possible. And maybe it is for them. But I feel like they'll never understand how strong platonic love can be. They'll never know how much I like them. Because they're convinced that, because I'm aroace, I'll always like them less than their partner, when, in fact, I just like them differently.
"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
The best way I can describe to an allo person how you feel about sex as a topic as a sex-repulsed or averse asexual is that it feels like a hype that never ends. As though Despicable Me came out and everyone around you was sending minion facebook memes to each other for years to come. The stores are full of minion themed products; they're in ads and your friends talk about them all the time. And deep in your heart you're like "I'm glad that they're able to enjoy something I personally don't like and am not interested in :3". But there is always this little voice in the back of your head that's like "If I have to see ONE MORE of these little yellow FUCKERS today then God help us all." You make an active choice to communicate only the former.
"love is love" until it doesn't include sex
"love is love" until it lives in separate beds
"love is love" until it is queer platonic
"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity
love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships
"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable
Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer
Most of my tags here are pretty self-explanatory, but for all my fellow apothis and aspecs who are simply not in the mood: any shipping related content on this blog will be pretty mild, but you can filter the tag #allo nonsense to not see it here.
Have a wonderful day! 💜🤍🖤🤍❤️/ 💚🤍🖤🤍❤️
Some Crane Wives Pride flags I've made, because their photos always have such cool lighting. I'm also currently planning on making the aroace and trans flags, but if you'd like to see a specific flag feel free to comment and I might get to it!
Also feel free to use these as you wish.
This. They hate all of us, we're not any better to them.
There's also a bit of... I think unintentional support of other queerphobia when people say stuff about how asexuals aren't doing anything. As the post discussed, we are seen as a threat to a lot of people, but I think the intent when aspecs say this is more like "we're not hurting anybody/doing anything wrong". But the thing is... Neither are trans people or gay people or other queer identities. When people say stuff like that, it's almost agreeing like "I can see why you don't like them, but we're different".
So there are several issues. I do think a lot of it comes from people not really knowing aphobia exists or even within our community not understanding how strong it is in some groups.
tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!
But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".
And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!
I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.
made a meme because what do you mean i’m questioning my sexuality again even tho i’ve been secure in my identity for the past 10 years 😭
Thinking about how I'm both non-binary and aroace like I made only one choice in life and it was "no."
My experience with being oriented aroace is basically just not sexual or romantic attraction but a secret third thing but idk what the secret third thing is and tbh I don't care what it is, I just know that Women
actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.
"there is no platonic explanation for this" when characters hug, care for each other, support them, are worried when they are in danger, smile at each other etc
Some of yall just don't have any good friends and it really shows
I really like this, I once explained QPRs as looking at the rules for established relationship types and saying "No, we don't like those," and then building your own relationship, taking pieces you like, leaving what you don't, and even adding your own stuff if you want, to make a new thing that works for you.
i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.
the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.
When I was twelve or thirteen and thought I was bisexual, I started reading Tomura Shigaraki x readers, but stopped because I realised I just wanted to hang out with him and be his friend instead of be his gf, and that these fics were twisting his character in my mind. That probably should have been a sign of my aromanticism and asexuality, but no, I wouldn’t figure it out for a while.
At school we had yearly letters that we would write to ourselves, and in one from when I was perhaps fourteen, I wrote something akin to ‘no crushes yet, but I’m hopeful’. Reading that when I graduated and got the letters back was fun, I enjoyed laughing at myself.
shoutout to nine-year-old me who was very much aroace but didnt know the difference between hyperfixating on a character and having a crush on them so for the next few years i told everyone that the only crush i ever had was on lord voldemort
Aroace who's extremely confused by their tertiary attraction call that a disoriented aroace
reblog to scare the aphobes
gloom / green / white
lgbtq+ pride dragon: greyromantic flag
My little guy 😊
Thought I'd change their appearance up a little bit! The short hair isn't really permanent because I still like the long hair more.
Hope y'all like them!!
Mah pookie sivul
I love them
Just wanted to write some headcanons I have about Zoro since they'll just stew in my head otherwise.
Firstly, sexuality:
- When I don't ship him with someone, he's aroace (he doesn't give a shit in Canon so it wouldn't surprise me)
- If I do ship him with someone, then I headcanon him as either demisexual/demiromantic or boreasexual/borearomantic.
(borea- means that the person has a set orientation but there is an exception centered around one person. With Zoro, I'd see him as aroace but then he meets someone who he does actually love.)
(Demisexual/demiromantic means that someone only feels sexual/romantic attraction after forming an emotional bond. This would make sense in Canon if Oda ever decides to give him a relationship, and I think it is the best option for most Zoro/person fanfiction.)
Either work well in my fanfictions, though it generally leans towards borearomantic/boreasexual.
Next, actual sexual life, since it's related:
I imagine that he would have had sex before but not cared for it much. Sexual attraction is separate from enjoying sex, mind you, but this is just how I imagine how he felt.
I like the idea that he tried it with a woman and didn't care, so tried it with a man and still felt nothing, so just didn't do it again.
I think that he wouldn't care for the person and so didn't feel anything (because of the aroace/demi/borea identity). That would probably take place in his bounty hunting days.
I think it would be funny to have the crew talk to each other about if they were virgins, and him bragging to Sanji (who is definitely a virgin, don't lie) about having sex with two more genders than him. That's basically the only reason I headcanon it.
Next, disabilities:
It makes sense if Zoro is dyslexic (getting lost all the time, and have you ever seen him actually read?).
I also love these types of fanfic, so I love seeing it show up more often.
I don't think he's autistic or anything else, just introverted with a struggle to trust.
Lastly, a bit about his childhood:
We know nothing about his childhood before 8, so whatever happens depends on the fanfiction and how I want people to react.
In my mind, I think that Zoro had parents die at a very young age and so lived in an orphanage that was pretty negligent because of lack of money. As a result, he was kinda free to do what he wanted.
I don't think he actually remembers his parents, and so doesn't really care. It would explain why he never mentions them.
I don't think that he saw Koushirou (his master) as a father, just as a mentor, but I do think that he and Kuina thought of each other as siblings. The Dojo was the first place that treated him like family, so he thinks of it as his first real home.
Also, since Koushirou told Kuina that a girl can't become the greatest swordsman in the world, I think that he would have a slight grudge and dislike for his more 'traditional' views.
And that's it. Just some random stuff I've finally scribbled onto an online platform.
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH
A bit late hehe
Y'all means all