Q&a - Blog Posts

Q&A 10

If you could only have ONE, would you rather have 5 male slaves with chastity and all under your ownership and not be allowed to be dominant, say you're stuck on an island with 5 submissjves.... OR would you rather be taken and enslaved by 5 very dominant, large alphas who put a collar on you and use you however they please in a distant area where you can escape and cannot be dominant anymore on your own, completely at their whim with no power or control anymore?

I imagine both situations. Me and 5 beta boys. They would pamper me, treat me as their Queen, do anything for me... lick me to orgasm after orgasm... and what then? After few days I would be bored and long for huge cock in me and taste of Alfa sperm. I would go crazy with unfulfilled needs.

Me and 5 Alfa Males treating me as Their sex toy. Huge cocks giving me strong orgasms, lots of tasty sperm, the feeling of being used and being the only one who can satisfy Them. That's very tempting. And lack of pussy eating? I would accept it - sex toy doesn't require its pussy licked.

Q&A 9

What is something (a fantasy) that really turns you on, but you would be afraid to do/happen in real life?

There is one... I sometimes dream of bukake session. Let's say 50 Males and me. Not ordinary Males - ONLY high testosterone Alfas with really huge cocks and balls covering me with liters of sperm. Some fucking me, some emptying Their balls in my mouth, others just masturbating over my tiny body. Very intensive session for as long, as They are ALL satisfied. Tempting.

But, in real life, it could happen only in making some porn scene (logistics, finding the proper Males, testing all of Them for STD, etc.) and I will never be a porn actress for obvious reasons.

Q&A 8

Can you share why you love the power so much of being dominant and "denial"... and then why you love submitting to alphas, being submissive to them and swallowing, being owned rather than owning and how both of them bring you such pleasure?

My power as a Dominant Woman over my beta husband comes from the fact, that I am his Princess, his Queen. He accepted his place, and he loves me unconditionaly. The games I play with him (including cuckolding) are just tools to make the relation stronger, more fulfilling in every other aspect of my life. I am sure, that if he (as a heterosexual) accepted licking other males sperm or sucking cocks only for my sadistic pleasure, he will be loyal and obedient to me in any other life situation. Also, if he accepted pussyfree status for the rest of his life with Me, he acknowledged Me as an individual of much higher status - like a Goddess. That's real power over a person.

My sexual relations with Alfa Males fulfill my life in different area. As a WOMAN, I still need to be chased, conquered and taken, put in place by a strong individual, marked by Him as His prey before He moves on to the next one. It's deep in my brain and I am not some kind of radical feminist. I am a tiny woman and size diffrence, aura of power, huge genitals and overall assertiveness works for me on some subconcious level. I know, the Alfa Male could break me with one move of His hand and the only thing He needs me for, is to release His tension to be able to function normally. There are lots of girls who dream of being in my place, so I need to be better, more compliant to Him.

I suppouse that's why very assertive, selfish, narcissistic Men turn me on the most and also that's why I liked (and still like) to be an escort for chosen Alfa Males... I am on my knees, lick His huge balls, worship His cock, feel His pheromones and testosterone, His hand on my head, His huge cockhead down my throat... I am His servant and only His needs and pleasure matters. When He cums, there's no even thought on His mind about my comfort, no "thank you, it was good." My pleasure is not important for Him. If He wants to fuck me later, He will and I will get several orgasms (I am very multiorgasmic). But if he tells me to get the fuck out of His apartment or car, I meekly get out and wait for another occasion to be able to serve Him and maybe next time to be fucked.

Weird, isn't it?

Q&A 7

Does your husband eat you after when you finish with an alpha?

Yes, he gets to lick me when I want.

When I meet lover at home he usually gets to clean fresh creampie or gets a cummy kiss.

When I come home with a used pussy and I'm in the mood for cunnilingus, he also has to do it.

Q&A 6

Going off what you wrote, very interesting with your husband being more worried about other "betas" and that makes sense. How have those talks gone?

Well, he is worried about other betas, because he is afraid I would leave him for relationship with a man who would be better and more dedicated slave for me. He knows I would never get into relationship other than sexual with any Alfa, but he is afraid that some other beta would steal my heart. He is wrong, but that is deep in his mind. We talk about it and usually I tell him to simply be better and more dedicated to me and my needs. And he is. I like his jealousy.

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How often do you enjoys other betas tongues? What else do they do for you?

Not very often now. I have one regular beta boy who pays me decent money to be able to lick my pussy and ass (2-3 times a month) and one who is my ex-betaboyfriend (now happily married) and sometimes begs me to sit on his face. I also had few one night stands during business travel when I took beta boys and let them lick my pussy when no decent Alfa was available.

Sometimes I let beta boy to masturbate in front of me... for example onto the floor or into the toilet. I love their confused faces after they get their cummies. I never let their sperm to touch my body - that is reserved only for my Alfa lovers and sometimes my for husband.

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Do you keep your husband in chastity? How do you keep him from cumming...and how do you allow him to do so!?

There is no strict chastity in our relationship. Most of the time he is on the honour system and I know I can trust him (I would recognize his cheating in that area momentarily). I put him in chastity always when we play with other people and I put him for longer time when I plan something special. For example before he got to suck his first cock he was 2 weeks in chastity, and before our wedding night he was full month in chastity (his record).

He is allowed to cum only in my presence. I let him masturbate in front of me or I give him handjob or footjob (since I married him, he is the only beta boy who gets my hand or foot). After cumming he is obliged to lick his sperm clean. Sometimes I decide to ruin his orgasm. From time to time (when I am extra kinky) I peg him with double dildo. It's for my pleasure, but if he leaks during pegging I can accept this.

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Are you very submissive to the alphas? Enjoy collars, bondage, anything like that?

It depends on Alfa Male and his needs. It's not about bondage or collars, but personality of a Man. I was in relationship and living together with a Man, who turned out to be sadist (it got out of him slowly) and I was trained to accept pain (to some extent) and humilitation.

Other time I was few months in relationship with another Alfa, who fucked me only 3 times (three!) during our 5 months together. He treated me as his oral cumdumpster - I got to suck him 2-3 times a day and got nothing in return. Well... he didn't care if I masturbated during sucking his cock. That was merciful, as I know few Men who would slap me hard if I didn't concentrate 100% on their cocks.

Another example... I hate anal, but if Alfa Male really wants to fuck me in the ass, he will do it. I would cry and beg him not to, I would try to move out or clench my ass, but if He is strong and brutal enough, he will take it. And I will cry from the pain but eventually submit. On mental level I love to feel conquered and I feel it has roots in the way my virginity was taken.

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For your friends who know about your dom/sub/cuckold situation. What do they think about it? Is your husband ever allowed to lick your gilfriends?

I am independent of other people opinions. I do not have many close female friends, but only one is NOT cheating on her husband or partner - Megan. She is married to real Alfa, who happens to be mine (and other women) lover and she is very submissive.

My other friends cheat on their husbands or partners and to say the truth they are very jealous of my relationship and the fact that I can do it openly.

And there is Lena - my closest friend. Her situation is totally different. She is 40 y.o. dominant Queen, her husband 55 y.o. slave. As my marriage is femdom/cuckold, Her marriage is femdom/BDSM. There are strict rules and permanent chastity, punishments and a lot of humilitation. She taught me much about femdom psychology and rules. I can say, she is my mentor in the matter. Without Her I couldn't be able to build relationship with my husband as it is now. She thinks I am too delicate and soft for him.

My husband got to lick and fuck his two girlfriends before he was mine. Since he is mine he didn't get any sex and only got to lick me. Few times he got to lick Lena, as Her husband got to lick me. So in his life he had sex with 2 girls, licked 4 pussies including mine (I plan another one in the near future) and sucked 3 different cocks several times (my plan for him is to service orally more different cocks than pussies).

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Also, have you ever "dated" a beta, or had one for an extended period of time?

Of course, I dated betas and Alfas. How else would I know the difference between them? How else would I know, that I don't want marriage with an Alfa? How else would I know, that my husband is the best choice?

Apart from my husband, relationships with other betas were rather short. For most guys (even beta SIMPs) it was hard to get used to my licentiousness and dominance. Even when they seemed to accept the fact, that I have sex with other Men and not with them, it was short term acceptance. They either run from me or argued with me and tried to change me... sometimes even if they agreed that I fuck other Men, they tried to control me. Then I kicked them out of my life.

Q&A 5

Great blog, your hubby is very lucky! Any desire to have children from an alpha male, or will that just slow you down?😁

IIn spite of my age I do not think about children yet. But if I want to have a child it will be my decision only and the father of my child would be my submissive beta husband. Having a child with some stranger Alfa Male may sound like a good fantasy, but I cannot imagine it in real life.

We have femdom/cuckold marriage and my husband is not allowed to have sex with me, but I love him. He is inteligent and handome man and would be great father. Still he wouldn't be allowed to put his dick in me (it's base rule in our relationship), so we would use artificial method of impregnation.

Q&A 4

I've read your blog and of course I accept your reasons for being here. But I am curious. Is there a part of your sexual fantasies that involves being the real life captive of a sexual sadist that will keep you.

Against your will. Never free of restrictions. A caged and bound female sexual lab rat. Where you are never allowed to switch modes. Whipped, beaten and sexually tortured into submission. By whatever means necessary. Every day. No exit. ?

When I was younger I had many such fantasies. Sometimes still have, but not so often. One of them:

I am a virgin Princess travelling with other young girls on a ship and pirates raid the ship during cruise. We are all captured with intention to be sold in some Arab state. The other girls are kept in crates and every day taught obedience - they will be sold as sex slaves to some rich Men. The girls are forced to fuck and suck, they are punished until they are broken into total submission. The customers would pay proper price for obedient girls.

But I am very special - as a virgin and Princess I will be sold to some Arab Sheikh to become His special sex toy, maybe even wife. Nobody rapes me as my virginity is worth fortune, but I am forced to look at the other girls being trained and I get to service cocks orally - fluff them, clean them from cum and other girls fluids, suck them, swallow gallons of sperm. I am trained to worship cock whenever presented to me. After two weeks I am trained to be top class virgin cocksucker.

Then we arrive to a port and I am sold to some Sheikh (I don't even see what he looks like). I am sold like animal. Other girls are also sold to different customers. Then I am taken to some property in the middle of nowhere. There is dessert all around. No way to run.

I am bathed and prepared by other beautiful woman to be presented to my Owner. I meet Him. He sits on a luxury sofa with to beautiful woman on both sides. He is huge, muscular Male with beard and hair all over the body. He looks so strong and charismatic. I am so tiny and weak compared to Him. I am so afraid of Him.

He says: "I paid a lot of money for you, so you are my property, my toy. Your life is mine now and I will do whatever I want with you. You are here on probationary period of 3 months. If I am happy with you, you'll become my wife and give birth to many children. If I am not happy, I will sell you to a brothel and you'll be whore for thousands of men. There is no other option in your life. Everything depends on your behaviour. Now greet me properly."

Then He pulls back the tunic flaps and I see His huge, veiny cock with big head and gigantic hairy balls. Thanks to the training on the boat I know what to do...

Then the fantasy goes... I used to masturbate to this vision many times. There were two scenarioes. In one he was happy, in the other not so. In every further scenario I was just a property with no option to change anything...

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Well. Thats only fantasy. I would never want to be in this situation for real.

But in real life I was in relationship with sadistic Alfa Male and for over 9 months living in His house. I submitted to Him and He trained me step by step to His expectations. Our relationship fell apart and NOT because of the harsh sexual treatment. I loved Him and wanted to become His wife, whatever the price was. But REAL ALFA MALE is not a good material for marriage. That was my lesson from this adventure. Alfas are good for sex, but married life is much better with submissive betas. At least for me.

Q&A 3

You are such a dream. May I ask general whereabouts? Also, how did you get into the relationship status that you worked into with your husband? How open is it? Meaning do your friends/family know about your other loves? Sorry for the qs, im just really interested in your world!

I assure you - I am not a dream. I am a narcisistic, spoiled bitch with border symptoms. I am a mental sadist for most of guys and submissive slut for few of them.

In everyday life I am a Princess with huge mood swings. I love to be pampered and spoiled. I need a lot of patience and total submission from my partner.

My sexlife has two opposite modes and I need both of them. One side is being submissive fuck toy, the other side is being dominant Queen. There is no way that one man could satisfy all my needs.

(One day I will write how my life shaped me for a person I am today).

How did I get into relatipnship with my husband? Well, he was one of many beta SIMPS around me for a long time. He knew I fucked around with strong dominant Men, he knew I escorted Alfa Males, he knew I cheated in every relationship I had been. I was sincere with him. He knew, he would never fuck me and he knew I would control his sexlife and humilitate him and I tested him many times.

But what was more important, his dedicated his life to my pleasure and comfort. I am treated like a Princess and his life focuses aruond me and my needs. That's how it should be.

(One day I will write more about it).

How open my relationship is? That's simple. Open form me. Closed for him. I can fuck whoever I want and he cannot cum without my permission. I cuckold him with dominant Alfa Males, sometimes I let other beta boys lick my pussy (my husband hates it - he perceives it as much bigger threat for him than my submission to Alfa Males).

Who knows about our relationship status? Several of my female friends and many of my male lovers (one of them is his boss and one of them is my boss). Our families don't know about it.

(One day I will write more about our sexlife and rules).

Q&A 2

My post about forcing my boyfriend to suck a cock:

"I did it with my (then) boyfriend before we got married. It was milestone in our relationship. Beta boy will never be the same after sucking other mans cock."

Question:

Do you mean "Better" or useless?

Well. After few relationships with Alfa Males I was mature enough to know that with my personality, being happy in everyday life with such a Man would be impossible. On the other hand, there were always beta boys around me. Lots of them. But I was too spoiled and demanding to have good sexlife with this type of a man.

What I wanted was FLR with cuckold and pussyfree submissive husband. There were also a few tries but when I started relationship with John (now my husband) I knew that he could be the right one, but I also knew that I need to subjugate him totally.

He knew from the very begining, that I would have sex with other men. He knew that his only sex with me would be cunnulingus. He knew that his orgasms would be rare and under my control. He accepted his pussyfree cuckold status...

But sometimes he was stubborn and rebelious. He tried to play my feelings. Tried to be possesive, sometimes too jealous. He even flirted with other girls (he is quite handsome).

And there were two steps that changed everything. Milestones. First time he got to clean me after sex (and there was a lot to clean) and first time I ordered him to suck another males huge cock to completion.

He never was USELESS. He was a great licker. But after I made him suck (much bigger than his) cock, he for sure got BETTER cuckold boyfriend. He accepted the reality. After some time I knew I want him to be my husband.

Q&A 1

Sometimes I get questions from followers of my blog. From time to time I will try to answer the most interesting od them. That's first:

You posted that you escort sometimes. Does that give you a special thrill? The fact that a man wants you so much he will pay a lot?

When I was much younger (19-27) I was quite often an escort girl for rich men. Nowdays I sometimes do it for fun. But there were never any meetings with some random guys who just called phone number and ordered "service" for an evening.

I was always very selective. I wouldn't have sex (even for money) with a guy who wasn't my type. And my type was always succesfull dominant Alfa Male. Usually they were married or had girlfriends but from time to time just wanted uncomplicated fucking on the side and paid for it. I met them via recommendation of my two older friends who were luxury escort girls or later via some internet "sponsorship websites"

I needed money and liked the fact that they paid money for my service. But almost always I also had a lot of pleasure. I am very submissive towards Alfa Males, but there was additional thrill that I was bought as some kind of slave and I have no choice but to give Him pleasure until he sends me away.

I also had some really crazy adventures which wouldn't be possible within normal relationship, like for example luxury mediterrenian cruises (8 girls for 3 men), parties (2 girls for 6 men or 5 girls for married couple), crazy nights (alone sucking off 4 men 18 times during one night) and many others...

Fun fact is that men who paid for my services usually treated me (as a person) much better than my Alfa boyfriends whom I loved.

1. Yes

2. Yes

3. Yes

4. Yes

5. No

6. No

7. Yes

8. No, because I’ve accepted that I have a baby dick XD

9. No

10. Yes

Cuckold Test

I devised a test for cuckolds based on my ex boyfriend’s profile. Would love to hear about other indicators if I missed any. Take the test if you dare.

1. Do you view more than an hour of porn everyday?

2. Do you seek out cuckold/cheating porn more than any other category?

3. Do you fantasize about other guys fucking your girl when you masturbate alone

4. Are you much more likely to cum while jerking off if the subject of the porn is cheating or cuckolding?

5. Do you buy your girlfriend sexy clothes to wear out in public whether you are with her or not?

6. Do you fantasize about another guy fucking your girl while you are having sex with her .

7. During sex do you try to get her to talk about past boyfriends or ask her what she thinks about current men either your friends, neighbors, or celebrities?

8. Are you insecure about your cock size?

9. Do you look through her phone or computer secretly hoping to find her being naughty with another guy?

10. Finally, do you want to watch her rub, tug, and suck a bigger cock than yours?

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions you are definitely a cuck!

92 Random Questions

Especially for @soulreserve

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Diet Coke.

2. Phone call: Last night with my daughter in New Orleans.

3. Text message: With my friend about a Twentysomething sex term she didn't know and was hesitant to lookup online for herself.

4. Song you listened to: "Drive It Like You Stole It" (from "Sing Street" soundtrack.).

5. Time you cried: I was seriously depressed.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No

8. Been cheated on: No.

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: On and off most of my adult life.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes. More than once.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green. *** 13. Saffron. *** 14. Rose.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Not in person.

16. Fallen out of love: No.

17. Laughed until you cried: Had some hearty laughs, but nothing _that_ hearty.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, but it was idle chatter during downtime at work--my "monster hours" at my desk--and exaggerated.

19. Met someone who changed you: Beginning more like 16 months ago, and we're still at it.

20. Found out who your friends are: Not new news, but they're still with me.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes. My wife.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them--mostly it's family and friends.

23. Do you have any pets: Yes. An elderly beagle and the purrfect cat.

24. Do you want to change your name: No. But I sure wish there were fewer guys in the world with the same name as me.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Celebratory dinner at our favorite local Asian restaurant with our closest local friends, in the tatami room.

26. What time did you wake up: 6 AM (on Saturday morning!!). The cat wanted his breakfast.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The next US solar eclipse in April 2024.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: More than 25 years ago.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: The endless commentary in my mind expressing trivial dissatisfactions.

31. What are you listening right now: The tick-tick of the living room clock, rain on the street, and my tinnitus.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. One of them was a long-ago workmate from Martha's Vineyard. He was a good guy.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The mess verging on disaster area that fills the room at home where my desk is.

34. Most visited website(s): Tumblr, Pinterest, Facebook, NY Times, in approximately that order.

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME:

35. Mole/s: None. Some freckles.

36. Mark/s: Scars from a boisterous boyhood--face, belly, legs.

37. Childhood dream: To be a great scientist or an astronaut.

38. Hair color: Gray. Used to be mousy brown.

39. Long or short hair: Short. But it get longish and scraggly between haircuts.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes. There's always someone, but secret, minor, and evanescent.

41. What do you like about yourself: Those all-too-rare flashes of creativity when everything just flows

42. Piercings: None.

43. Blood type: A+

44. Nickname: Some of my colleagues at work occasionally call me "Doc."

45. Relationship status: Married nearly 36 years.

46. Zodiac: Taurus in the cusp of Aries.

47. Pronouns: He, him.

48. Favourite TV Show: Working my way through the seven seasons of the current reboot of Hawaii Five-O. It's decent trashy TV. Started watching Friday Night Lights recently, and like it.

49. Tattoos: None. Am puzzled by their profusion among younger people. I always thought they were a bit déclassé. But times change.

50. Right or left hand: Right.

51. Surgery: Most recently left wrist after a fall. Long ago--tonsillectomy and hernia surgery.

52. Hair dyed in different colour: Never.

53. Sport: To watch: baseball, hands down. (Go O's!) To play: Bocce with friends on summer evenings.

55. Vacation: To North Carolina for a family eclipse viewing get together. Our group got rained out. Other members of the party were luckier.

56. Pair of trainers: Nearly every day since childhood.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Dim sum.

58. Drinking: Calvados.

59. I’m about to: Feed the cat, feed the neighbor's cats, make supper, wash dishes, order toilet parts online. The life of a householder.

[60. Supply your own--> Last Can of Soup: Chicken noodle.]

61. Waiting for: The clear, cool skies of early fall.

62. Want: Self acceptance.

63. Get married: Been for 36 years and still at it.

64. Career: Archaeologist and historic preservation consultant.

65. Hugs or kisses: That's not an either/or. Both, for sure

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

67. Shorter or taller: Just right.

68. Older or younger: My generation and younger.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach.

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. Occasionally loud, but only in brief bursts.

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, hands down.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: A bit of both.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Don't recall; maybe.

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Misplaced? You bet. Lost? No.

77. Turned someone down: Yes.

78. Sex on the first date: No.

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes.

80. Had your heart broken: Yes. First serious girlfriend, long ago. But we're Facebook friends now, and I am happy we're in touch again.

81. Been arrested: No.

82. Cried when someone died: Yes.

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Sometimes. Not always.

85. Miracles: Wish for them; don't expect them.

86. Love at first sight: Yes.

87. Santa Claus: No. But in my scraggly periods, strangers sometimes mistake me for him.

88. Kiss on the first date: Depends on what came before the date.

89. Angels: No. OTHER:

90. Current best friends names: Celeste. Rob.

91. Eye colour: My drivers license says blue. I'd call them gray, like the goddess Athena.

92. Favourite movies: Rom-coms first: Practical Magic (my go-to movie when I feel pushed around by the world); Bossa Nova; Love Actually; Groundhog Day... All the others: Monsoon Wedding; Ghostbusters (the original); Argo; K-19 the Widowmaker; Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon; Hero; Kagemusha; and the list could on for quite awhile longer... 2Sept2017-6PM

✨ Now Accepting and Answering Questions! ✨

As of right now, I will be trying to answer any questions sent to my page (until further notice that is ;3)!

And Anonymous asks are fine by me!

Although you can ask practically anything, as long as it is nice and at least semi pg(?), I have made a list of example questions you can use if you do so fancy :)

“Do you imagine Sans liking cats or dogs?” [aka Head-canons and Scenario asks]

“What program(s) do you use for your art?” [aka Art and more Technical asks]

“Do you ever plan on drawing Gaster Sans?” [aka Project and Future Idea asks]

“What’s your favorite color?” [aka Why Are You Asking About Me questions]

Although I’m pretty sure next to nobody is actually going to ask anything, I’m still going to try this whole Q&A thing out for myself (a first for any of my Tumblr pages)!

But anyway, have fun asking your little hearts out!

-FanPan-

P.s. Some asks I may even reply with a sketch, so feel free to look forward to that!