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Hard to consider a certain level of personal growth and improvement when you can't get over something simple as an affair. We do everything so fast, we get to know each other, we send everyday text messages, we fall in love, kiss, have fights, get apart, get back together, get apart again and one day end up not talking to each other ever again. However we miss each other, whisper a name, a word, a feeling, but we are too proud to send a message, to proud to say how much we miss each other and then we let it die but it is never actually dead, somewhere inside you can still feel it and some times you wonder about how could it be if it ever worked out.
You will never know because you don't want to try to go after the person, you don't want to risk yourself, to hear a 'no', to get a cold message, you don't want to hurt yourself and your memories, you rather let it be the way it is.
"It is better this way."
But it is not. It is just safer. You don't want to be rejected by that person you care so much about. That person you have so many warm dreams about and get lost on thoughts imagining a perfect life together. You don't wanna risk all of that.
You just let it die.
YOU HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE DOORS YOU BEG TO HAVE OPEN!!!!! THE CHANGE CANNOT HAPPEN SIMPLY BY THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTING ITSELF!!!! YOU NEED TO BE OPEN TO SEE IT, CHOOSE IT, AND ACTUALLY MOVE!!!!!
Listening to literally any EPIC song is a completely different experience now that Thunder Bringer is out
I am in a state of lots of disassociate but also better on my mental health in other ways i haven't been for years? So its odd, I am allowing myself the concept of being content with enjoying the work & art that is just in front of me? Anyways eat more kimchi buns and survive friends