Your gateway to endless inspiration
tfp!human!au:
ratchet: - do you know that alcohol is completely eliminated from the body only after approximately twenty days?
wheeljack: - ..you mean, never?
ratchet: - has anyone seen bumblebee and smokescreen?
bulkhead: - oh i'm sure they're fine. i left them with wheeljack!
ratchet: - no offense, bulkh, but those two sentences don't go together.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!
ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*
ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.
smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*
smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-
tfp!human!au:
how the 1st episode should have started
ratchet: - what in the actual fuck?
optimus: - ratchet. be careful what you say, there are children here.
ratchet: - well that's the point! what in the actual fuck do the children do on the military base?
wheeljack: - but how did you find me?
ratchet: - oh, our computers detected a huge explosion and we thought «now, who could that be?»
tfp!human!au:
ratchet's laptop: *emits an audio signal that it's running low on battery power*
ratchet: - uhh, fuck off!
ratchet: - i'm running low on my will to live right now.
ratchet: - but i'm not doing bulubulu every five minutes.
ratchet: - i'm working!
smokescreen: - so.. what's the fear of spiders called again?
arcee: - weakness.
ratchet: - ..arachnophobia.
bulkhead: - common sense!