“no Rapping Tonight"

Tch, you're pretty good. But once I've memorized your attack pattern, we're making out sloppy style

brain: slartibartfast

me: huh?

brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?

me: yeah, what about it?

brain: yeah

i love my son %appdata%

hey man i think your twink is disturbed. On a very deep fundamental and psychological level

[trying to insult a person's dog-like devotion to someone but not wanting to make them sound too cool about it] keep your fucking dog in a purse

one thing about me i’m the leaver. i will leave

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

a gentleman so flat and boobless you could skip him across the water like a prized stone