Frank Harkness. His Career Choices And Tips On Building Healthy Relationships :)

i love writing porn and i wont feel bad about it. understanding the eroticism of a character is character analysis if u are enlightened.

three feet under - chapter one

hello hello! i've been working on a pre-canon different first meeting bobby & buck au for a month or so and now that 'everything has its place' has wrapped up, i wanted to give a little peek! this fic is from bobby's pov and starts a month after the fire.

(trigger warnings are abundant for 'three feet under' but for this snippet they're: child loss, substance abuse, past child abuse, and suicidal ideation)

The closest to his family that Bobby Nash can get is in warped reflections on polished granite headstones.

He’s worn down an edge of the plot: two indents for his knees to fall into as he silently prays and wordlessly begs. Mornings and nights and neither and both of graveside prostration have dug out a damned-dark and crisp-cold hole for him to fall into. When the time comes, he’ll lay himself down to sleep. He pictures the thaw as a revelation. Bones in the dust and fat melting hot-acrid in the earth; maggots and larvae and he finally found rest. His priest calls this season an act of God: as long as all the psalms and a testament unto itself. Bobby calls it evidence of God’s sense of humor.

Smoke billowed out of gaping maws in the apartment complex until steam took its place, white and grey on a white-grey sky when morning stole away the night. Cold tempered hot and hot taunted cold and cosmic cruelty lodged itself between the two; frostbite claimed scant slivers of skin not licked by flame. Bobby watched each and every one of his victims as they were freed from the pyre he lit with percocet and vodka and snarling cowardice. He named them when he could and when he couldn’t, he honored them with a sip taking him closer to his end. Winter has found forever in St. Paul. Bobby hopes he has found eternity.

The closest to God that Bobby Nash can get is at the bottom of a bottle, choking on dregs and memories.

He tells himself it isn’t blasphemy, isn’t divine disrespect; he tells himself a good many things as he finds truth in lies and lies in truth. The pills dull his thoughts until he makes his own peace. The booze is so cheap that he isn’t sure if it even has a name but he knows it makes him forget his own. Daysweeks pass in a haze and collect into a mass of fuzzy warmth that never gets close to the feeling of fire. He claims his punishment in the temptation of fate as he throws drugs back blindly and drinks until he can no longer see.

Tonight, he can still see.

Cheek perched on his palm, he lifts two fingers off of his glass. The bartender, too bright and young of eye, nods slowly. Everything is slow when the liquor swamps his bloodstream. He lives in a miasma of motion, taking in little and making even less sense of it. 

“This is gonna have to be your last one for today, man,” the kid says, quiet as the depths of night draw in, last-call last-chance hovering over the liminal space. 

Bobby grunts and necks the swill down. These days, he thinks he didn’t only start chasing fire to follow in his father’s fateful footsteps: he figures he’s always been chasing pain. His throat is long since numbed to the sting of cheap spirits and cheaper regrets.

Vinny’s is less of a hole in the wall and more of a slash in the ground, the dive bar’s foundation sinking into the Minnesota soil with the burden of its occupants and the demons perched cinder block-strong on their shoulders. It’s far from his usual badge haunt, halfway between his house and his home. Only his home fell to embers. His station hardened to ice and Bobby is weak. He doesn’t care to find out their opinion of him or how far the rumors have spread. All he knows is that they haven’t reached this hellish haven and he can drink himself into a stupor, sleep it off under a veil of insubstantial substances. He hopes to repeat the routine ad nauseam until his nausea consumes him and his liver realizes there’s no point in holding on.

Fifty cent songs croon from the jukebox; corpses that haven’t yet caught up to their fates drown out the noise in bottles of amber and plague-sick green. Bobby’s world is red: red bodies and red flames and the red label on a clear bottle that tastes like mangled memory clouding the nip of red blood in the air. His palms are red, too. 

The night he murdered his family wasn’t the first time he got burned. That was eight years old and a matchbox and the back of a hand across his cheek and a crick in his neck and a blistered scar shaped like Australia on his calf and— The second time was his fault (his fault, his fault, his fault; they were all his fault) when he forgot to disengage the airbags at a scene his fourth day on the job. It was fine because the blast barely scalded his skin and his father wasn’t there to say I told you so. It was fine. It was. The third time was an electrical accident but it made Marcy cry, so he swore not to do it again.

He did it again. He did it again and again and he did it worse each time; the scars he left never touched his flesh except for when they touched his flesh and blood in little flinches of fallout. The doctor said he might not regain full sensation in his hands and that’s alright, that’s okay. He deserves it. He’ll never be able to feel Brook’s hair or Robby’s hand or Marcy’s lips so it doesn’t matter anyway. The glass is slick in his grasp. He only knows that because it always is. Whiskeyvodkarum tumbles down his throat and then it’s gone; he’s empty. He closes out his tab and tugs on his coat. He leaves.

If he wanders a bit to the left then he’ll take a nice long walk off of a short riverbank and meet his maker in a chilling embrace. If he wanders a bit to the right then he’ll be able to understand what his patients felt when a bumper separated their pelvis and their shoes stayed on the ground as they fought the clutches of gravity. He keeps on his path. It’s not a lengthy trip and his destination is nothing like home; it’s everything like home for it smells of sulfur and smoke and there’s a picture of his family waiting for him, a rubber band holding it to the sun visor of his rusted-out truck. He’d lock the car if he had anything of worth inside of it other than the creased paper he stole from their memorial service. He’d lock it if a too-late part of him didn’t accept that other hands than his would hold the photo with more care than he could ever spare for his family.

Charlie brought the picture to the funeral home. He cropped it out of a Christmas card from the year before, the year before that, an in between year when Bobby’s spine was a crooked steeple and he fancied that he placed himself on the cross. Crucifixion came in the form of uppers and downers and he fell into the sepulcher of his worst impulses when a held-back shout hit harder than any fist. The tinsel border is still visible in the photo. Happy holidays, indeed. 

Tragedy—Bobby—struck in the dead of night. The city hasn’t roused from its mourning long enough to take down red lights and green lights, take back their good tidings and well wishes. It’s a locked-in-buckled-up reminder of what once was and will never be again; it’s a broken projector casting flickering shadows of a single frame that defines a people. Angels hung upon the walls of the funeral home in robes of white and gold and Bobby’s angels rotted in boxes of pine, their Sunday best churned into the earth with them.

He held it together at the service until he couldn’t and then he cried until he had no more tears. His words dried up with them and he stood, blank and numb and black-hole-wanting as Charlie took out one year, two years, tentwentythirty of Bobby’s Hell out on him in the cold-scorched courtyard of the cemetery: every stint at rehab, every squandered chance, every time he disappeared and Marcy was left to fend for herself. Bobby was and is and will be worse than Tim ever could have dreamt of; their father had the decency to die. Mom stood by silently, a statue amongst statues amongst graves.

And Bobby broke that night, not the snap of a branch but the crack-creak-whip of a whole trunk toppling over, taking out the next and the next and the next. He broke like his nails as they scrambled through the frozen soil, jealously clawing, dragon-strong and man-weak when he scored the disturbed ground so he could curl up with his family in a horde of the best he could do. He split the grafts off of his palms and watched blood melt a covering of snow far gentler than any embrace he’d ever offered. Charlie hauled him away with arms of overwrought iron, bars around the bars of his ribs.

“This is the last time I clean up your mess,” Charlie muttered and Bobby believed him, still does. Stowed in the passenger seat of his own truck, Bobby watched the bloated sky mist past as Charlie drove and drove and drove until he realized they never really drove at all, two blocks away from the cemetery, exhaust like smoke in the parking lot as the truck idled. A bar, the bar, this bar and it was close enough to the graves that Bobby stayed. Charlie left.

Bobby takes a handful of pills. He sleeps.

For writers that like hurting their characters

(you know who you are)

Any semi serious injury to the arms or legs can be fatal. If an artery is struck the person can bleed out in 2-5 minutes. If an artery is struck then blood will be violently spraying out of the body, as opposed to regular bleeding where the blood just leaks.

A way to stop severe bleeding is with a tourniquet. A proper tourniquet that you would expect to find in any trauma response kit, as using a shirt or anything in your environment as a tourniquet won't be very effective. The tourniquet should be placed a few inches above the wound, and tightened. The tightening process is going to be extremely painful, as it's clamping down hard enough to cut off the blood circulation. Important to note that a limb won't be at risk of being amputated unless the tourniquet has been applied for hours.

Another way to stop severe bleeding is wound packing. This is where you take gauze and fill up a wound with it. The point is to cover the area that's bleeding, so that you can apply pressure to the specific part of the body that's bleeding heavily. Applying pressure directly on top of where the blood is coming from should get it to stop, however this will again be painful for the victim.

Losing blood makes it harder to regulate your body temperature, so it's extremely dangerous to be losing blood in a cold environment. However, a victim can still get cold in warm areas from blood loss, so most trauma response kits will have specific blankets that will help the victim regulate their temperature.

Any wound that punctures the chest area is extremely dangerous. Air will begin filling into the chest cavity, which will leave the lungs with less room to expand. Eventually the lung or lungs will collapse from the lack of room, this is extremely painful. And this will all be even worse if the attack pierced a lung, which will be filling with blood. All of this will make it extremely hard to breathe. There are pads in a trauma response kit that you place over a chest wound, and they're designed to vent air out of the chest cavity while not letting any more air in. However lungs filling up with body fluids is not something you can treat on the field, and will require proper medical attention.

Getting clapped on the ears hurts and can disorient you.

Any impact to the nose will make the sinuses flare up and the eyes water, making a fight more difficult.

Any impact to the back of the skull can be fatal, or cause severe brain damage.

It's extremely easy to rip off a human ear.

The liver is located on the lower right side of the rib cage, it would be on your left side if you were looking at someone else's liver. Any impact there can put any person on the ground, as it's extremely painful to be hit there. Punches to the liver drop many professional boxers.

Kidneys are mostly the same, except they aren't protected by anything at all. Located in the lower back, the kidneys are completely unprotected from any attack. Any impact here can drop someone just like a liver punch. (I was in the gym one time and hit my kidney pretty hard on a bar and almost collapsed from the pain)

A proper punch is thrown in a way to where the knuckles are the only thing that make contact. This is so that all the force is being spread out across a much smaller area, increasing the damage to the victim.

Any impact to the neck can be fatal, and will make a person immediately start choking, making them completely open in a fight.

Removing anything that's impaled into a person will only make them bleed out faster.

Your body will force you to inhale right before drowning, which we all know it burns like hell to have water in your lungs. Plenty of people that have almost drowned have said that their body forced them to take a breath, even if there was no air to breathe.

The brain inhibits your full strength, as we're strong enough to completely rip our muscles. In times of need, the brain will let go of this limitation, basically granting you super strength. There's plenty of cases where someone was able to lift something off of someone, such as a lawn mower or car, but wasn't able to move it at all later on.

While you can live without water for a few days, maybe even longer than 3 depending on a bunch of factors, that is specifically "living". You can expect to see severe side effects of dehydration long before the person dies. Extreme kidney pain, headaches, hallucinations, dry skin, some organ failure ect.

paradoxical sensation is where you're so cold that you actually feel hot. Plenty of people have been in extremely cold environments and started removing their clothes, as they were so cold that they felt like they were burning.

The body will begin to eat itself if it's gone long enough with no food.

You have an extreme lack of depth perception with only 1 eye. You can test this out by walking around and doing tasks with only 1 eye open.

When blood and dirt and anything else gets in the hair, untangling the hair and straightening it out is extremely painful. It may even result in pulling some hair out, it might be better to shave it off if it's bad enough.

Any recent wounds sting when exposed to water, which makes taking a shower a nightmare when you have multiple of these on your body at once.

As popular as the trope is, consciousness has no effect on your survival. The "don't go to sleep" while a character is bleeding out doesn't really help, meaning you can let your character pass out or fall asleep while they're dying. This can lead to a character thinking they won't wake up while they're fighting off sleep, only to wake up in a hospital bed.

yes they are toxic but it is because of the love. without the love it would be a lot healthier actually.

Could you tell us about riv shirley? It sounds interesting

I answered some here but wanted to wait until I had a new clip to share to answer this. I shared a bit and then talking with the wonderful @tenderhooked about it has helped immensely move it from mostly vibes to some coherence of a story.

I'll put another clip below the cut:

Shirley Dander was pissed.  Lamb was going to be even more pissed at the pair of them. Likely more at River than Shirley–the old spook didn’t actually like any of them, but seemed to have a soft spot for hating River in particular–but Lamb had attempted to fire her more than once. Well, he succeeded at least once. Now, tied to a chair with only an unconscious River Cartwright for company, Shirley was starting to think maybe she should have stayed fired because as much as she wanted to get loose and kill each one of these fuckers, the blood seeping into her sleeves from the cuts the restraints had caused was making it seem a bit of a lost cause.  But once they freed her, which they would eventually, and then she would kill each and every one of them.  Hopefully.  There were a lot of them, as far as she could tell. There could be more. She had seen six for sure. And it was just her and River. Well, probably more likely just her. River wasn’t looking too fit for service at the moment. River didn’t look fit for anything other than laying in a hospital bed. He was unconscious, having passed out from pain on the third hit of a wrench to his clearly broken hand and whatever other bones had snapped under the weight.  Shirley had heard them snap. It would’ve been cool if it hadn’t been River. She was already fantasizing about turning the wrench around on the bastards holding them. Then it would sound really fucking cool.  But for now she was stuck tied to a fucking chair watching River’s chest rise and fall unevenly and hoping it continued to do so.

some sentences sunday!

from camcorder kidnapping (everyone act surprised sjkdfj) :)

The shape of Payne looms above him, and that’s when River recognizes what a horrifically bad idea it was to sprawl boneless and vulnerable on the floor this way. At least sitting up he had a chance to dodge, to duck. Now he’s entirely under Payne’s body and he can’t gather the strength to pull himself upright, and that’s not good, that’s incredibly not good, and there’s a prickly numb panic swelling in his throat, in his chest— “When he gets here, River?” A boot comes down to the left of River’s shoulder. Not touching. But boxing him in.  “Yeah,” says River, even as that panic balloons to the point of suffocating, “when he gets here. He doesn’t leave his agents behind in the field. I mean, maybe he’d’ve left you behind, but you’re an arsehole—” The second boot slams into the concrete. Its impact sends a dizzying ring through River’s skull. “Lamb isn’t coming for you, you stupid fucking child.”

does helena even know? does she even know the absolute hell chris went through, and the work eddie and chris had to do together? to get chris to love the water again? does she even know?

thoughts on prisoners (2013) - do you like it? 👀

ooh I LOVE it! both keller and loki are very complex characters. really loved the ending and everything else! the 'cool tone' of the movie was one of the key aspect for me.

couldn't stop thinking about loki for weeks after watching it. was it the haircut? idk🤭

me, whenever someone asks what I like to do for fun

Patrick James Errington, from "After All This Small Talk, You’d Think There’dBe No Weather Left"