Unrequited

I float, empty, a husk

In solitude, I bask

Don't let me, don't let me drown

Fill this void and anchor me down.

I want someone to look me in the eyes

To see pass through the lies

You did, you once knew

But you walked away, can't handle the truth

That I'm a monster, a bringer of pain

Something which uses people for my own gain

And I admit I have demons but I don't want to destroy

I might not be like you but I also crave joy

I only want some company, a friend

Someone to hold my hand 'till these storms end

But I guess you only want the one I pretended to be

The normal one with simple personality

You don't want the edges, the imperfections, the flaws

That I'm in pieces, what's real and raw

You never wanted who I really am

I can't blame you, even I can't accept my own name.

-D.G. Gir// 03/31/2018

Cursed

I'd close my eyes and I'll still see you

Behind my eyelids, in the places only we knew

I want to run to you, but I am frozen

How you could not see that I am broken?

And I know, I know you still love me

But you long to set yourself free

And though I wish to be your answer

You'd always be the fire I doused with water

And our fingers might touch, but our hands will never fit

We're fated to be strangers, walking in different sides of street.

What I Hate Most

Often I wonder if I'll ever hear your voice again

'Cause I can no longer remember its sound, its tone

I can only feel the warmth it brings when it rains

The way it made my heart skips, the way it chilled my bones

I wonder if you still laugh the same

If my soul, your singing can still tame

'Cause all I have now is a dusty memory

One that's leaving me, leaving me slowly

So here I am, still hoping against it all

That you'll one day give me call

That once again, I'll feel that honey dripping in my ears

Just so I can be reminded, there's someone real behind these tears.

Not Your Puppet

maybe i can climb these walls

show them that i can also be tall

maybe i can open their eyes

that i'm more than the stupid white lies

they look at me like i could never know better

like a mirror they can easily shatter

they talk like i couldn't even hear

they caught me in their headlights like a small, scared deer

maybe there's still time to escape

that i could still create the world that i crave

i have never belonged in this prison

i'd rather die on my own than with their poison.

-D.G. Gir// 04/07/2018

She left me in November,

And I cried for the whole December

I begged for her in January,

But by February, I lost her completely

I still love you

Maybe it's time to burn those unsent letters

Let my past go through smoke and embers

And the walls you breached should be once again fortified

Regain my dignity, my freedom, my pride

Though I love you and you'll always have a piece of my heart

It is time that I move on, move forward, and restart.

-D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018

Deceitful Arrows

People say love would either save or destroy

I thought I have a choice, to hurt or to enjoy

But I met you and I experienced both

You opened my eyes, yet you never kept your oath

You saved me from drowning in the endless sea

But when I fell, you weren't there to catch me

So now, I'm lying with my broken pieces in the ground

Wishing you've let me stay lost, never to be found

People also say that when love is true

It will give you hope for something new

Yet my heart breaks every time it beats for you

Tell me, have you lied to me too?

Suddenly, I've realized that I'm plainly stupid

To let myself be stricken by mythical cupid

Now, my heart will always have a void, a remembrance from you

I have only loved once and you never even knew.

- D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018