hw 59.7 lw 50.2 cw 58.9 ugw 42-45 167cm somehow in semi recovery i guess TW
97 posts
TW venting, suicide
I hate my life so much rn, everything is falling apart. My parents wont stop fighting, my siblings treat me like a second choice, i have terrible anxiety about university and my whole body hurts. Like literally. My joints hurt so bad and it got steadily worse over the last 7 fucking years and nothing helps. Like not at all. Something is hurting 24/7 and it never gets better and i dont know what to do. I lie down and something hurts. I sit up and something hurts. I stand up and something hurts. I walk, jog or run and something hurts.
If there wont be a miracle anytime soon, ill either kill myself directly or start therapeuutic fasting and only stop once im dead lmao
I really cant stand this any longer, im so done with all of it
I just wanna end it all
Well we all know that no matter what i do, ill binge on the cake when Im alone
So my father just forbid me to eat cake on Easter Sunday because it has too many calories
FIRST, I know the calories, he knows nothing about them
SECOND I am at a normal/healthy weight, he is oberweight
THIRD, I can make myself purge, ge doesnt
FOURTH, I will go for a long run in the evening
FIFTH I wont eat breakfast on Sunday
But well, i guess ill just watch everyone eat cake because now there is a 0% chance that i will eat cake in Front of my father
Lmao i wish i was dead
Maybe ill be perfect after eating cold bones?
Worth a try i guess 😂
Me irl
So my father just forbid me to eat cake on Easter Sunday because it has too many calories
FIRST, I know the calories, he knows nothing about them
SECOND I am at a normal/healthy weight, he is oberweight
THIRD, I can make myself purge, ge doesnt
FOURTH, I will go for a long run in the evening
FIFTH I wont eat breakfast on Sunday
But well, i guess ill just watch everyone eat cake because now there is a 0% chance that i will eat cake in Front of my father
Lmao i wish i was dead
PLEASE PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP
at school, i abaolutely loved math and physics. I studied a lot at school and got straight As in every subject. But i am at university now and my Grades are so bad. I study math and physics and i really thought that i would be goot at university. I did my work throughout the Semester, and i prepared myself for the exams. I got the results today and i almost failed my exams. Now i am feeling like the biggest dumb ass on earth
So is anyone out here who could give me some tips on how to successfully study for scientific subjects at university?
Any help is appreciated
So my family tries to take advantage of my disordered eating habits?
Like i refuse to eat ice cream and they are happy that there is more for them
I dont buy my lunch at university and they only focus on the fact that they safe 2.6euros every day that i dont eat there
Whenever they dont feel like going to the basement or to a store, they tell me to go "so that i get my steps"
Once I'm skinny, they will regret treating me like this 🥲
Lol my family is so fucked up
My dad just yelled at me for loading the pen for my tablet. Not even 30mins later He asks me to proof- read his Email.
My brother forbid me to enter his room when he was watching a yt Video. An hour later, he asks me to help him with his homework.
My mum shames me for snacking and eating too much at a time. The Same day, she worries about me skipping meals and exercising obsessively
Once i am skinny, they will regret treating me like a back-up Plan, a second choice and a useless object. Once i am skinny, i'll male Sure they die of regret
@wynterpyxie my mum made a similar comment! When i Was 13/14 and wearing a tight Shirt, she was actually worried that i was pregnant because of how my belly looked. And since then she kept fatshaming me even though i Was far away from being fat
people with eds, who caused your ed and why was it your mom?
Just venting
I got a message that yesterday, i had contact to a Person who has covid. I was at the doctors office with my mum and later went to university.
So to decide where i had this contact, i went to my mum and asked her if she had gotten this message, too. My mum and my father were watching a movie when i asked. My mum immediately checked her Phone, but my dad just yelled at me for disturbing them and blamed me for leaving the house so often. Then He yelled at me to go to my room befor my mother could even answer me
Bruh i wish i could live on my own
I HATE my father so much
He is so commanding and controlling. He only does whatever he pleases to do and not a single thing more. He is truly convinced that his opinion is the only acceptable one and simply starts shouting whenever a minor thing doesnt go the way he wants it to
I hate him so so much
Yesterday, there was an incredible loud bang and literally the whole house was shaking. Rn, we know that it was bc of an airplane. However, my brother just admitted that he thought that i fell on the floor. This hurt so bad, i wish i would never eat again 💔
So my doctor just prescribed me medicaments that will make me constipated? Fml
I have about 6 weeks before i have to go to the doctor for a general check-up
I better lose as much weight as possible before i get there
Help i cant stop binging i just keep eating and eating
I have to go to university tomorrow and none of my clothes fit anymore (really, i dont exagerrate)
I am so fat and i still keep eating, i never stop
I hate it, i hate myself, can somebody pls make it stop
Soooo I was convinced that march would be my month. BUT MY DUMBASS FUCKED UP AND BINGED TODAY
Fml
Did i run a half marathon on friday and burn over 1000cals? Yes.
Did my father fat-shame me and joke about my eating habits on saturday? Yes.
Was my father worried on sunday about me not eating enough? Yes
Bruh
Sooo
At the moment, i am almost back at my highest weight. I used to feel horrible about that and somehow, i still do.
On friday, i binged and felt totally unmotivated, i thought that i just fucked up another day
However, on Friday evening, i decided to save the day. i ran a half marathon even though nobody believed that i could Do it (well, i believed in myself at some point, but neither my family nor my friends, except for one, thought that i could do it).
I am amazed by what my body is able to do if i fuel it properly.
This is why i will now try to stop obsessing over my enormous thighs and start training, challenging and improving my body rather than wanting a lower number on the scale
Idk if this makes any sense, just wanted to vent lol
My mum just yelled at me bc i am low in iron like wtf? This is not my fault?
Gosh, i hate it here
I am so hungry rn and wanted to get some yoghurt
However my father forbid me to eat bc someone from the insurance will come this evening and he doesnt want me to eat until He has gone again
So i guess tonight we'll be starving
Man, this family is so fucked up
My parents act (especially fight) as if they were 5 years old
Yk, their behaviour is so dumb and immature like ....wtf?
I wish i was dead lol
Is anyone here who suffered from Bulimia and managed to start restricting properly without having to binge and/ or purge?
It feels like i just cant stop binging and purging every damn day
I havent been tp the toilet since monday and it is fucking saturday?!
I feel like my stomach will explode, it looks like i am 7months pregnant
I tried literally everything: cardio, jumping rope, doing Yoga, drinking Coffee and diet coke and NOTHING FUCKING HELPS
Anyone have any Tips? :((
Once im skinny, i will spend all day posting pictures of my body lol
So today, my schedule was full of online classes and stuff
I had a 10min break at 10:15am where i ate some fruit and 4 Rice crackers
At 11:30, i had half a banana and fat-free yoghurt
At 12:30, i had 3 Rice crackers and fruit
Then, i had a long online class
So i came down in the afternoon and said that i was hungry. At that time, my mother had eaten 1000 calories AT LEAST whereas i had 600calories max
And my mum yelled at me for being hungry all the time and told me that i should eat less and exercise more
She is right ofc but it still hurt💔
I just went to the doctor because i need some blood tests to be done
They were struggeling to get blood out of my arm, they had to try various different needles
I had to bite my tongue because i just wanted to suggest to slit my wrists open to get my blood flowing
Wtf is wrong with me
yikes
For you:
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