The Guanyin Temple Confession Is Maybe My Favorite Scene Of Any Piece Of Media I've Ever Consumed Because

He Xuan: You won't believe who just came up here for the third time.

Hua Cheng: ........Don't joke about that.

He Xuan: I'm not, I swear! And he broke a bunch of stuff on his way in.

Hua Cheng: What.

He Xuan: Um, yeah, you know his two babies that you hate? He hit one with a giant bell and smashed the other one's palace.

Hua Cheng: I am definitely in the right religion.

The Shen Yuan who took his little sister to and from belly dancing classes, and practiced with her just to supervise her (he, having fun with that? ... he will never admit it out loud) and who happens to hum some of those melodies, now transmigrated into the Shen Qingqiu who for some mission must take a temporary female form and introduce as a dancer at a event to catch the attention of a weird and bloodthirsty demon (with the obvious company and embarrassing supervision of his shidi Liu Qingge and some of his trustworthy disciples).

Yes, Shen Qingqiu is against that at first… But the other option was to use Ning Yingying! He will absolutely not put that little girl in potential danger! And of course Qi Qingqi would never wear one of those embarrassing outfits, and Qi Qingqi's choice of disciples was still to send young girls to potential risk.

Okay, at least Shen Qingqiu knows how to dance.

(And he dances very well, to the absolute internal chaos of the white lotus Luo Binghe, and the near qi deviation of Liu Qingge. Where the hell did Shen Qingqiu learn to dance like that!? That's what he did in brothels, dance classes!?)

the world of pidw is malfunctioning. wives already wed are not triggering their wife plots, and the story is suffering!

to fix the issue, the system has grabbed the soul of shen yuan to act as wife plot enacter. he must now set in motion the wife plots for every wife who does not stumble onto it by herself, as well as keep the timeline on track.

luo binghe thinks there’s a weird meddling kidnapper with access to aphrodisiac plants who’s jealous of either him, or his harem. he genuinely can’t tell. the man, who he’s never seen but had been described as kind, beautiful and gentle, was either too kindhearted to hurt any of his wives or a malicious spirit. some of the wives even come back with gifts. as apology? enticement? luo binghe doesn’t know. some wives even want to go back, while others ask the emperor for leniency. he’s yet to manage to catch this mysterious man.

the system has applied a special tag to npc shen yuan’s character profile: “protagonist halo’s blindspot”, which allows him to evade every attempt at being discovered by the protagonist while active! it’s really quite helpful.

eventually luo binghe figures out some kind of pattern to the whole thing (airplane had a system) and, disguised as the wife in “danger”, he allows himself to be kindapped and taken to a modest but warm home where he’s shown to “his” room and told to wait by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. he’s given books and food, and assured no one will bother him until the emperor shows up.

when luo binghe doesn’t show up to save the wife, shen yuan begins feeling bad for keeping her cooped up and starts keeping her company. they talk, play table games, she cooks for him when he proves hopeless in the kitchen. shen yuan feels horrible: where is binghe? this beauty is waiting to be saved, and he’s nowhere to be seen! and she’s so cool, too! very powerful cultivator! why would binghe not want to save her? he’s left the appropriate amount of clues! also, where’s the system?! the damn thing announced it was enacting “final wife plot protocol” and then fucked off!!! shen yuan was so close to freedom!!!!!!!!

and that’s the story of how luo binghe found his empress

Rabbits tattoo design

Please feed him (◞‸◟ )

Oh. This is solid Gold.!

You guys don't understand Lan Qiren like I do okay. It's the 50s. Your nephew Lan Wangji wears stupid glasses and has unfashionable hair. He's a total nerd, probably going to valedictorian of his high-school like his brother was. Enter Wei Wuxian. Your sweet innocent child is going on a DATE with this man who has a cigarette in his mouth and a gaudy leather jacket and a motorbike and flirty fuckboy words and Lan wangji hops onto it drunk on the idea of being a good girl in love with a bad boy

You try to tell him, there's plenty of other boys!! It doesn't have to be Wei wuxian!! But turns out there aren't actually that many other boys. Nie Huaisang is even worse than Wei Wuxian in terms of being bad (he's spent the last decade plotting a murder??) and when you try to set Wangji up with Jiang Cheng they just suicide bait each other all evening.

Eventually you cut your losses and realize whatever. As long as my nephew is happy. Wei Wuxian moves in and you listen to his screaming at night and realize oh God. Lan Wangji is the horny bad boy.

Dadji how I love you

Madam Yu: *Kicking out wwx after the broken engagement thing* AND STAY OUT

Lan Zhan: Finder's keepers

Wei Wuxian: Where did you come from?

Lan Zhan: Gusu

Madam Yu: What do you think you're doing!!?

Lan Zhan: Going back to Gusu

Madam Yu: With my head disciple!?

Lan Zhan: You didn't want him. I do

The boys are back! Back to save the day!

Okay, so I thought Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng’s friendship was one of the best parts about season 1 (because you gotta build them up in order to watch them fall, right?….). I especially enjoyed how in the last episode, while everyone else was pretty much horrified/despairing about seeing the Yiling Laozu!Wuxian for the first time, Jiang was just like, “You look great for a demon lord, man–now let’s go kick some Wen ass together!”

Good times.