Constantly Thinking About Gay Blade From The Eric Andre Show

background: illinois

Warlock patron: Corn

"why don't you use card sleeves" because a fundamental part of my MTG game is psychological warfare. I have 0 interest in maintaining the value of my cards, i'm not concerned with their condition as long as they're playable, so when i get new ones i bend and stretch them to hell until the paper stock is well broken in, well enough that i can take all 80-odd cards and do a full-side riffle and bridge. I'll lock eyes with you across the table as I split my deck in half, and i will smile pleasantly, innocently, almost vacuously as I riffle the halves together in my hand, before I bend that shit back into a bridge and let the waterfall cascade down into my palms before I true them up and hit them with the old one-handed cut before plopping them in front of you. This is a card game girl, I'm not playing with collectable trinkets. I'll break you harder then i broke in my new phyrexia deck. I'll pin you down and bend your back 'till you damn near snap, before i crush you into the fucking sheets and let my toxins seep inside you. yeah, no, if you need to go jack off in the bathroom you'll have to forfeit.

@imcreativeiswear

some good ol’ repetition and rhytm

Calvin and Hobbes - It’s July Already

had a fascinating dream last night where there was a new, virally popular trading card game - it was called MOUNTAIN (stylised in all caps) and the whole gimmick was that you couldn’t buy boosters or anything - you had to find them?

nowhere sold MOUNTAIN - I mean, I expect players did, once cards were in their hands.

but acquiring cards meant noticing a box lying around, and just….nabbing it? they’d be in weird places - in a skip, wedged high up in a fence, nestled in the branches of a tree? nobody ever saw who left them there, and there was a lot of debate about how MOUNTAIN boxes were sometimes hard to acquire without risking one’s physical safety - but then, that was also bragging rights. especially as harder-to-reach boxes seemed to contain more elusive and sought after cards…

no, I don’t remember anything about the actual gameplay, we never played any MOUNTAIN. alas. I know there were “frame cards” that were literally transparent but for a fancy metallic or holographic border, which I guess upgraded the card they were applied to? frames were super rare, my coworker literally ran up to me in the pub purely to show off the frame he’d just found

dream brain gimme the deets on MOUNTAIN’s actual mechanics, I’m invested in this controversial unpurchasable scavenger hunt game

[MtG Animatic] Little House of Horrors

Only the Beholder is a true pokémon; “Behold…behold!”

The Monster Manual exists in-universe as a handy PokeDex style device that updates itself with new information as you fight more monsters, including all sorts of fascinating (and possibly not true) trivia.

MyHouse.wad

adventure time slang is weird cuz like. when you first watch the show and hear the slang you're like "oh this is cringy slang but its not like awful" but it gets to a point where the voice actors deliver the slang so naturally you don't even notice it and its just. part of the world's vernacular. I can't think of any other show that's done in-universe slang like this