depressivecouple

Latest Posts by depressivecouple

Thank you for your kind messages, they have really kept my will to live for a very long time. Now is the time to say goodbye to you and my life. Thanks for everything!

I am very sorry that you feel so hopeless right now that you are considering suicide! Even if you can’t really see it right now: Things in your life can go better again! There is usually no situation so hopeless that there is no reason to hope for a recovery. Think about the following three reasons why it might still be worth living on.

First reason: Your situation can change

Always remember that stressful situations, no matter how hopeless they may seem at the moment, can change and even suddenly change for the better. Even if this does not happen as quickly as you would like, you shouldn’t try to solve all problems at once, but to look at them for yourself every day.

Of course, there are always circumstances that cannot be changed, e.g. if you suffer from a chronic illness, lose a loved one through death or break up a marriage. In these cases, too, something can be done: Change your own mindset. You can either endlessly mourn what has happened unchangingly, or you can come to terms with it mentally. In that case it is easier to see one’s own situation more positively. It is also more likely to look for ways to deal with the situation than to put an end to it with drastic means. This brings you to the point where you are no longer completely helpless in a situation that seems unchangeable.

You should also never forget the following: If you cannot climb a mountain at once, you may manage it in several stages - step by step. The same applies to most obstacles in life, no matter how huge they may seem.

You can do one thing right now: Talk to someone about the situation, for example a friend or family member. Maybe he or she can help you not to see things so badly anymore.

A second reason for choosing life: There’s help!

People who care about you can be a help. These can be relatives, friends and others who are personally interested in you. If they may not always approach you on their own, you may be able to address them and pour out your heart in a face-to-face conversation.

Then there is also professional help, which you should absolutely take with thoughts of suicide. Often these thoughts are caused by a severe depression for which no one should be ashamed, just as no one should be ashamed of a physical illness. Depression is like a cold among mental illnesses. In theory, anyone can get it - and there are treatment options. If your suicidal thoughts are very strong or persistent, you should find out where you can get help, perhaps at emergency hotlines or other suicide prevention advice centres. They are staffed by trained personnel. Here are a few places you could contact:

Emergency counseling: telephone hotline (free of charge, 24 h)The telephone counselling staff listen to you well, take part in your problems and can refer you to the appropriate facilities if necessary. You can get anonymous advice here at any time of the day or night.

Social psychiatric service: It offers counselling and further assistance to people in psychological crises. Often you will find this service at the health office or you can ask for the address and telephone number at the municipal office.

Counselling centres of the youth welfare offices, child guidance centres and marriage, family and life counselling centres: these are contact points for the most varied problems in every town and municipality.

Online advice: There are many different websites that offer help.

Please do not forget that you cannot get out of a serious mental crisis alone, but if someone helps you, you can make it! Outpatient therapy also helps many to regain more self-confidence and to find strategies for overcoming their problems. It is also important to have someone you can trust and always pour your heart out to.

Here’s a third reason to go on living: There is hope!

Even if you have reached your limits for a long time, this does not mean that a ray of hope will not light up at some point. As already said, situations change, not everything stays the same, desolate and hopeless forever. Your illness can be like a long dark tunnel, whose end you cannot see at the moment. But remember that at some point even the longest tunnel will be over and you will see the daylight again. Many before you have been like this, and so it can be in your case! Even if it’s hard, make one thing your motto: “Giving up is not an option”. This attitude can help you never lose hope, no matter how dark it looks around you.

I wish you very much that with the help and support of others you succeed in overcoming your bad emotional low and that you make the discovery that it is also worth living on in your case. All the best!

If a girl/boy you liked was mentally ill, would you still want her/him as your gf/bf?

Yes, of course I will/would still love you/her/him.Sometimes it's just difficult to show my love because in those moments when you're/he’s/she’s splitting on me, I don't know how to behave towards you/her/him, so that it's not uncomfortable for you/her/him.I(’d) still love you the same, I just don’t know how to express it in those moments.

What is the best present

For me, the best gift is simply time.But it really depends on the person who gives me the gift. It should be something that the person can identify with. Although material gifts are beautiful and often a nice souvenir for the future, non-material gifts can also be very delightful.A gift does not depend on its actual value, but rather on its personal value. Therefore, non-material gifts can often be much better than material ones.

@depressivecouple some great advice from a kind user, had to post💗

Things to know when you love someone suffering from depression

“When the depression holds you down, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water that paralyzes you with its weight and even the simplest tasks are difficult at once. You feel lazy, mentally and physically, and nothing can free you from it.”

Outsiders often find it difficult to understand what happens in people suffering from depression. To this day, some prejudices and myths about the disease persist, which makes it difficult not only for those affected, but also for the people close to them.

The worst thing is fear It’s not just the fear that it will never be over. Or that it could get worse. It is also the fear that friendships or relationships will break with it. That people turn away because they simply don’t understand the situation. Because they can’t understand that appointments sometimes have to be cancelled at the last minute because it’s just not a good day. If you love or are friends with a depressed person, you should let him know as often as possible that this fear is unfounded.

It’s a real disease. Depressions are considered mental illness, but that doesn’t make them any less bad and no less noticeable. They are not visible, and perhaps not tangible, but that does not mean that they are not there. In fact, they can be proven. If the brain lacks chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline or norepinephrine, this triggers a mental imbalance.

The simplest things can be a big challenge For a person with depression, it can be a challenge to get out of bed. To take a shower. To drive to work. Those who have never suffered from depression cannot understand this. That’s why you just have to trust that the person is telling you the truth and not trying to compare your reality with his or her reality.

There’s not always a logical reason Depression is deceitful. Affected people can have a good day and suddenly the depression pulls them into the abyss. There does not always have to be an understandable reason for this. Sometimes sadness can hardly be explained, the pain can hardly be put into words. Don’t try to find a reason you can relate to. Try to accept the situation.

Depression doesn’t disappear when you “pull yourself together” Sayings like “Get a grip on yourself” or “get over it” are incredibly hurtful for people with depression. They reinforce their sense of disappointment. Of course, they try to overcome the disease. But just like any other disease, it doesn’t work overnight. It’s a fight, not just a decision.

You probably don’t know how bad it really is People with depression often try to hide the real abysses of their condition. Often they don’t want to admit to themselves how bad they feel and that they need help. If you love a person with depression, it is quite possible that he has not told you how gloomy it really is in him. Maybe because he wants to protect you both and your relationship.

Your loved one doesn’t want to be a burden on you People who fight against depression don’t want to be a burden on others. They don’t want to transfer their negative mood to others. Depressive do not seek attention or compassion - on the contrary. What they crave the most is to be treated like everyone else.

There is more than one reality When someone is obviously going through a difficult time, it is a natural impulse to describe his own experiences to make it clear that one can understand his or her suffering. But in most cases you can’t do that. Your reality has nothing to do with his or her reality. Most of all, you can help by listening.

Their depression has nothing to do with you If you love a person with depression, it is important to understand that his or her state of mind has nothing to do with you. That can be very difficult sometimes. If your partner is in a bad mood, the fear that it could be because of yourself is obvious. But it is important to understand that a person’s depression basically has nothing to do with anyone but him-/herself - not you.

It’s okay if you’re dissatisfied Loving someone who suffers from depression is a challenge. They need your love and attention, they need to know that you support them. But that doesn’t mean that your feelings and moods count less. If you’re dissatisfied, you can say the same thing. This is the only way to find out what works best for both of you.

Some people love themselves so little that they cannot understand when someone else loves them

Missing you so much

Everything feels so heavy without him

what am I supposed to do

Cant trust them. I dont know them. Something is missing. Cant even trust myself.

It feels like I cant go on any longer like this

I dont like the thought that the things I remember really well right now are a part of me. I want them to unhappen.

All these thoughts in my head I dont want to think. I really cant talk about some of my thoughts. I ’d have to kill myself if I ’ll ever talk about it. It ’s too much. I am too small.

How am I supposed to handle all this stuff?

What are you missing the most in your life at the moment?

@emmazinzin

How can anyone be that cute?

I love you

What do you think is most important in a relationship?

Trust

Only when both partners fully trust each other can you really feel comfortable in the relationship. If you mistrust your partner, the basis for happiness is missing. Because no matter which shared experience you share - a bad feeling remains.

Communication

Talk to each other. And more importantly, listen to each other. Anyone who recognizes problems at an early stage and clears them out of the way through a conversation has better chances of remaining happy in the relationship.

Security

Providing security for your partner is not that difficult. Be reliable and abide by agreements. Those who stand their partners up or do not support them in important situations will not remain happy for long.

Caring

Care for each other. And that doesn’t just apply if you or your partner are feeling bad. Always take care of your partner. This will make you both feel safe and secure in your relationship.

Common values and interests

If you are interested in the same things, it is easier to find common topics for discussion. Leisure time is also easier to arrange for both. However, be sure to do things without your partner. You’ll soon have nothing left to tell each other.

Humor

Laugh whenever you can. Of course, a similar sense of humor is helpful. If you are far apart when it comes to humor, avoid looking at things that one of you can’t relate to. That just leads to arguments.

Happiness

Experience and share beautiful things. If you have the same interests, this will of course be much easier. Very important: Make yourself aware of your happiness and tell your partner how you feel. Not only crises, but also common happiness brings people together.

Type of relationship

Share as much as possible with each other and exchange information intensively. Put your partner very high on the priority list. The closer your relationship is without restricting others, the better your chances of lasting happiness.

Love

Try to keep the feeling of being in love. The tingling sensation remains in the stomach and the relationship remains exciting for a long time. But how do you do it? Surprises are the easiest way. And they don’t even have to be big. Do you know that your partner likes to nibble a certain treat, bring it to him/her. If (s)he’s been looking for a particular record for a long time, try to find it. If you try your best, you can keep the feeling of being in love for a long time.

Misconceptions about depression

The burgeoning frustration of being asked to "pull oneself together" The bitter truth is that you can't just drop depression overnight - and whoever says so conveys a less than helpful message. Such sayings are often due to a lack of understanding of mental illness. When relatives don't understand what's going on, they react with statements like "don't be so upset" or "Stop feeling sorry for yourself". Such statements are made whenever there is no understanding of underlying diseases and chemical abnormalities. Such comments are probably the most irritating.

Depressions are constantly mistaken for sadness It is a widespread prejudice that depression is caused by excessive sadness.

There are no small victories For people suffering from chronic depression, there are no small victories because every achievement is a great victory. While daily routine routines are quite normal for most people, they are a much greater achievement for depressive people. Almost every activity or task becomes painful agony, even simple things like taking a shower or getting dressed.

Loss of motivation means more than a normal afternoon low The low at 3:00 PM, when you feel like you need your third cup of coffee, is hardly comparable to the drop in energy levels when you are depressed. Due to this lack of motivation, a depression can feel like the muscles are no longer functioning. It makes it really difficult to go to work, to concentrate, to laugh, to focus on tasks when you suffer so much.

You have physical symptoms - and they are just as strenuous as the emotional ones In some ways, depression is seen as a state of mind, but this is a big misunderstanding. For many people, depression does indeed contain serious physical symptoms. Many people therefore do not consider themselves depressed but believe that something else is wrong. If you suffer from depression, this can worsen existing physical ailments. Other physical symptoms include restlessness, indigestion, nausea, headaches and fatigue in joints and muscles. These physical symptoms in combination with the psychological symptoms influence the normal daily routine. It's all connected.

Things that used to be fun are no longer as amusing as they used to be Depression can affect even the smallest pleasures in life. Meeting up with friends, leisure activities like golf and even intimacy with your partner - all this is not as exciting as it used to be. Depression changes life dramatically. These listlessness combined with physical symptoms are all warnings when diagnosing the disease. In order to help someone who may be in such a depression, it is advisable to approach him or her impartially and offer constant support, including help in finding a treatment option.

The problems of expressing one's feelings When you are suffering from depression, it is sometimes difficult to put into words what goes on in you because you know that not everyone around you feels the same way - especially when the disease is stigmatized. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 25 percent of all adults with mental health problems expect sympathy to be shown to people with mental health problems. Depression creates a negative image of yourself, the world and the future. Everything is perceived as through dark glasses. When people suffer from depression, they are usually convinced that no one understands them - and this is a really difficult situation.

There is no universal clinical picture Everyone experiences the depression in his or her own way, which is why one should deal sensitively with relatives who are struggling with it. The symptoms are different, the causes are different, the treatment methods are different. Work, relationships, families - this disease changes everything. Some people need medication. For others, long-term psychotherapy can be the solution. Depending on what works. I'm not saying that my way is the best for someone else. But I say that everyone can find his or her own way of healing - and the most important thing is to always stick to it. Never giving up.

There are two ways to help others overcome the agony of depression. On the one hand, any thoughts that uphold the stigma of mental illness should be banished. We need much more openness, transparency and understanding of the fact that it is okay to call depression a disease. It's not weakness. It is not a moral deficit. It is not something that the victims themselves have produced. And you have to understand that this is a very important start to help a family member with depression.

Everyday life is a reality that is consciously dreamed every day - a waking dream, a clear dream. The ego that acts in this external sphere is hardly ever the initiator of its actions. And people whose sphere of activity is narrowed and limited tend to have depressing dreams.

Contacts

Contacts imply the willingness to show myself. Without contact to the people around me I would become even more lonely. Yes, I am actually dependent on it in difficult situations. As the mental pressure increases, help takes on a different meaning.

Open up

It's important to me to show the people around me how I feel. Dropping the mask, putting me through to others. This is not an easy task and requires a lot of effort. Feelings of shame and worthlessness are spreading. Opening up to this vulnerability is unfamiliar.

World off – Headphones on

Tell me something about your s/o!

It is so difficult to express in words what I feel for her, because she is unique to me.

She touches my heart and soul so deeply. How can I describe what she means to me? Not a single word seems to have enough content to fill these feelings.

She is the life-giving impulse that gently touches the flower in the morning and persuades it to open up and show itself in all its beauty. She is as unique as this young flower in its full splendour for me. Among all the flowers in a garden, I would recognize her because she is unique. Only her shapes and colors fit me and I would see that, even if someone else couldn’t tell her apart from her flower sisters.

She is unique to me because each of her looks hit deep in my heart. If she is sad, I feel with her with every fibre of my being. She’s totally my nature. For her I am ready to explore and experience something new, which she likes, and I'll also take her with me to areas of life that are so far unfathomable for her, if she wants me to. I want to learn to see the world with her eyes, to perceive the scent of a rose as she does and to learn to love the people she likes. If she wants me to, I’ll show her the world as I see it and share my friends with her if she wants to.

I want to share and experience all this with her because she is unique. I sincerely hope that it will be similar for her and that together we can enjoy life in all its beautiful facets and help and support each other when life becomes more difficult. Because she is unique to me, I only want her love from the bottom of my heart for now and ever.

Where does this emptiness come from? What can I do to make myself feel better? How long will the darkness last? The difficult thing about depression is that there is often no satisfactory answer. At least not fast. But how do I encounter something that has no reference? No beginning, no end?

Have a beautiful day!

I sincerely wish you the same, from the bottom of my heart!

The picture with the curves you drew

Over time I learned to deal with difficult feelings like loneliness, fear and hopelessness. That doesn't mean they've lost their horror for me. It means a lot more, they're familiar to me. I can face them differently.

I find the loss of strength much more serious. Dealing with the inner emptiness is already a challenge for me. To still go further, to raise me up again and again. Without energy, even that becomes a farce. When simple daily routines exhaust me, the fear grows that I will not be able to get up again at some point.

Silence sometimes is the loudest cry

Wounded Life

When I was on the ground for the first time, I felt how stale advice can be. When the energy fades, the dreams dissolve into air, another era begins. If the body fails to obey its obedience, the old strategies no longer work. Suddenly many things become strenuous. Very strenuous.

Light does not mean that there is no more night, but that the night can be illuminated and overcome.

We hope for joy, ease and success in life. Unpleasant aspects such as sadness, loneliness and illness can be left out. Wounded life takes place behind closed doors. Somewhere where, if possible, nobody sees us. For a long time I approached my goals full of energy and passion. With enthusiasm, perseverance, patience and willpower everything seemed to be possible. It's a nice feeling. To set out to discover the world. Until I was suddenly torn out of my dreams.

The Great Void

A shadow lay over my life. The laughing, the happiness became less. The sadness grew. At first I was astounded. The change came creeping and yet unstoppable. I felt a void in which everything seemed to drown. A black hole in which my zest for life sank. I lead a rich life. Rich in meaning, rich in hobbies, rich in people, rich in tasks, rich in wealth. Yet this great void in me. Is that possible? Is that allowed? Am I not grateful enough? What have I done wrong?

I'm dancing in the rain so no one can see me crying.

What are your three favourite bands? (I know it's hard to choose but at least to have an idea)

I think I have a very unusual taste in music.It's a bit hard to answer, because I don't commit myself to a band or music genre, but rather to individual songs. It depends on the mood I'm in.Flight Facilities, Flume and Metronomy are worth a shot though.

If possible, find like-minded people. There is a good chance of being understood and seen. You don't have to play a role there. If you're not feeling well, retreating is a popular option. That might be helpful for a while. However, permanent isolation tends to exacerbate the problem.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

At some point, the time may come when you can't go any further on your own anymore. In other words: I need help. Admitting that isn't easy sometimes. But why go the hard way alone?