I'm Sitting In The Waiting Room, About To Complete The First Step In My Mental Health Journey, So This

Sleepy Thoughts #3

Friday, May 20, 2016 10:38 PM: In pain on an air mattress at my grandma's 'cause I forgot my neck pillow that I sleep on while my industrial heals The most frustrating part of visiting my family is the difference of views. My uncle proudly says that if Bernie were to be elected then the national debt would be 17 TRILLION dollars, like it's the most absurd piece of information, while my grandma gobbles it up. I sit there biting my tongue while my mother looks at me to make sure I don't jump up and smash their radio to pieces. So I sit there, wondering why it's a bad thing that the national debt would be 17 trillion dollars. Especially since it's currently at 19.2 trillion and growing more every second.

New article on Ravishly!

It’s starting to feel like everyone is getting into relationships. When the whole world is getting into “Summer Lovin” mode and you’re on your own, it can be hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something.

Well, that’s why I’m here. Here’s “5 Things To Do When You Feel Bad About Being Single.”

Exam tomorrow and what do I do?

Sleep till 2 and TV till now. 

Ask me how much candy I’ve had.

For those who need to hear it

(I tweeted this the other day but I wanted to post here too)

Hi! You know those thoughts and feelings you’ve decided are too intense and overwhelming to tell anyone about?

Tell someone. Your intense hesitation is proof that it needs to get the fuck out. It’s a veiled demand for disclosure.

Here’s a secret that your mean, wrong brain will try to argue against: You aren’t a burden.

People who love you want to help you. That’s how loving works. I can’t think of a person I love that I wouldn’t.

And I know that sometimes when you’re deep in your wallowing, these sentiments can feel trite and disingenuous.

But I’m promising you right now that I mean it. I myself am proof that help is out there. I’ve gotten a lot and need a lot more.

And every time I’m ready for it, it’s there. It’s really great. Okay? Bye

I woke up like this

Everytime I looked at her, my stomach would always drop like it did the first time I saw her. That’s how I knew. That’s how I knew she was mine forever.

(via thingsiwishitoldher)

push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via aureat)

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