Eleemo-blog - Flumadiddle

Sleepy Thoughts #4

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

12:17 AM: I have an irrational fear of sleeping anywhere near midnight because I’m afraid the ghosties are gonna come into my room, so it’s around this time that I’m in a constant state of fear and can’t sleep.

I have a vivid memory of the first day of fourth grade when I walked into Ms. Sanchez’s English class and, upon finding my name tag on my new desk, I stopped and thought to myself, “Well, this is the desk that will be mine for the whole entire year”. At that moment in time, the end of the school year just seemed so far away, and the time that I was to spend at that desk would last an eternity. It was during the following summer that I finally remembered that moment I had, and I realized that it felt like just yesterday that I was assigned that desk, and the school year had flown by before I could notice it. That got me thinking about the first day of school and the end of summer, but I quickly dismissed these thoughts because hey, summer had just begun, and the first day of school was an eternity away, right?

Time is a bitch.

I'm sitting in the waiting room, about to complete the first step in my mental health journey, so this video could not have come at a better time haha Probs gonna watch as soon as I get home

“Monday With Matt: Dealing With A Diagnosis”

Still feeling sore, but the show must go on!

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, so for @ravishlydotcom, we thought it would be a good idea to try and approach the vast and complicated topic of mental health by focusing on a singular, small, yet important aspect of getting to know your own mind a little better.

Today we talk about dealing with a diagnosis, and how learning about your mental illness can be more of a blessing even if it seems like a curse.

Like, Subscribe, and Reblog if you enjoy it!

Pillars of Creation surrounded by stars

js

Museum of Living Statues Pt. 1

TRIGGER WARNING: Character death, manipulation, and creepy ending.

This was my final project for my creative writing class, and I was pleased with how it turned out, so please enjoy!

Being ugly has made my life pretty difficult. I was bullied in school, of course. The other kids loved to make fun of my crooked teeth and pudgy belly, and most of all, my height. They’d ask me why I was still fat, despite the fact that I was tall, and that my model height was wasted on someone as ugly as me. Probably the best part of being ugly is that people’s eyes pass right over you when walking down the sidewalk. People always notice me pretty quickly because of my height, but once their eyes travel to my face they become disinterested in a second. They may think that I don’t notice, but I do. I always do. My teeth were crooked because my family was too poor to get me braces, and my pudgy belly ran in the family. Once I, the eldest, entered high school my parents would always send me out to do various odd jobs to bring in some extra cash. Things like dog walking and babysitting, lawn mowing in the summer and snow shoveling in the winter. My parents were always eager to use me and my siblings as a means of extra funds.

One day when I came home from school my parents immediately bombarded me with another odd job, this one a lot more unusual than the things they usually had me do. A wax statue museum had opened up in town a little less than a year ago, and it had quickly become well-renowned for the beauty and detail of their works. My parents shoved a flyer in my hands that had information about becoming a model for the museum. I laughed.

“As if I of all people could be a model.” I scoffed.

“Look! It says right here that they’re looking for everyday people to be featured in their new ‘low class citizen’ collection!,” They persisted. “Besides that, they’re offering one grand and no experience is necessary!”

“So why don’t you do it?” I said dismissively.

“You seem like you’d be better suited for it.”

“Oh yes, I’m definitely model material” I said sarcastically.

“Well, at least you have the height!”

When asked how she felt about equal marriage, my grandmother always said that she didn't care what they did, as long as it wasn't "shoved down her throat". The only problem is, she didn't care about heteronormativity being shoved down her throat in every romantic comedy or Valentine's Day commercial she watched.

it’s just incredible to me, how selfish and self centred you have to be to demand lgbt people don’t kiss or hold hands in front of you bc it makes you uncomfortable. my friends, that’s called homophobia, and if you honestly genuinely believe that lgbt safe spaces should be pda free, you’re a homophobe and a bad person

aries: don’t let anyone burn out the fire thats inside of you. you have what it takes to push past everything that stands in your way, and you will because you have this rage inside of you, this magnificent light that burns from the inside and out. don’t loose your fire, or i’m afraid you would loose yourself. taurus: even though you hide yourself from the rest of the world you have flowers growing throughout your soul, even in the darkest parts of you. You are nature and the dirt it needs, you are grounded and strong like the trees in the forest around you. you have a fight inside of you, you just have to learn how to stand up and move on. gemini: you are life, you are the wind and the freedom it leaves behind. you are the sun that radiates light on summer days, and the rain that falls into puddles in the spring. you are everything in between, and all of it at the same time. a walking contradiction, but you will win the battle within you. for you are a fighter filled with inner strength, for you are the light and dark. cancer: you are strong, stronger than you let on. don’t let all the tears that you drown in tell you otherwise. you are the moon and secrets kept behind walls you built up on your own, hoping to stay in them without someone knocking them down. break them down, break free. just because the walls are breaking doesn’t mean your heart will too. leo: you have so much confidence built up inside of you, you are the sun and all of its light. you are the laughter in the children on sunny days, and the wildflowers growing in fields of yellow. you are also the blackest parts of the ocean, containing your emotions that form into bursts of angered rages. you can’t live like this, hurting yourself and others? don’t demand people of things just because you’re keeping parts of yourself hidden. virgo: you are dangerously beautiful, you are the freckles that my grandmother called angel kisses. you are as pale as snow, and your heart is cold like it to. but you know its not true, you just have to learn how to love yourself. your flaws will always be visible, but they make up who you are and I could connect constellations from your beauty spots, and scars and you would become the universe. simply breathtaking. libra: you are filled with laughter, you are the smiles in the melancholy people with horrible pasts, but heres something that you need to learn, how to make yourself smile and actually feel it deep inside. you have this remarkable persona that makes everyone stop and stare, and you’re too blind to see how wonderful you are. you’re too blind to see that people care for you. you’re the daylight, and the start of a new day. you are the sunset and the beginning of a new tomorrow. scorpio: you are a thousand pieces of different parts of the world, you are the world. all of its beauty, and all of its secrets combined into one. you are as fiery as the deepest parts in a volcano, and the saddest parts at the bottom of a vodka bottle. you are no where in between, you’re either cold as your heart is black or passionate as your heart is when you finally meet someone who opens up your soul and when that happens you will be nothing but light. sagittarius: you are a restless soul, breaking hearts including your own. your fears wont always be visible, because you’re a fighter who got through them already. if you can do it once you can do it again. don’t let the cruelty of human nature destroy your inner self, you can be you with out making reckless decisions. you can be you without being someone else. capricorn: you have firm grip on your life, no one can break that away. you know who you are, and you know what you want. you can create tears in other peoples eyes, just as fast as you can close off yourself from the world. don’t. you need your inner self to radiate through, for you can show people fun, and steadiness and patience and determination out of this world. you are a strong human being, you will find your light or maybe you just haven’t realized that you already have. aquarius: you are all the constellations, and all the seasons. The stars shine through you, and you move like water with each change in the world. You are the life within spring, and the fire in summer, the colors of fall and the death in winter. You are the revolution within yourself, no one in the world is like you. You are your own person. you have your own feelings, and your own mindset. but it’s never okay to keep them concealed inside. let them shine through like the galaxies within you. pisces: you are eloquence and beauty, and your creative colors flow from you. Everyone can see your colors, your vividness. you are a piece of art the world has created, all of your happiness and all of your sadness make you who you are. Stop changing yourself, you already know who you are.

zodiac poems, april 12th (via zodiacinsanity)

team “i know you’re joking but my anxiety doesn’t”

Reblog this if your blog is a safe haven for ALL non-white, disabled, trans, queer, and/or women, and your ask box is open to anyone who needs it tonight, or anytime, for the next few years.

New article on Ravishly!

It’s starting to feel like everyone is getting into relationships. When the whole world is getting into “Summer Lovin” mode and you’re on your own, it can be hard not to feel like you’re missing out on something.

Well, that’s why I’m here. Here’s “5 Things To Do When You Feel Bad About Being Single.”