In-Jokes

An Overview of the Cork French Film Festival 2013

  For fans of classic French Cinema this years 24th Cork French Film Festival provided a wide array of delights ranging from hugely influential New Wave films to more recent examples of monochromatic mischief.

Making a virtue of its “Noir et Blanc” theme the programme emanated that elusive and trademark kind of cool that we associate with Franco film-making, the expressive shadows concealing what seemed like a million askew narratives. Whether  it was dealing with a straight ahead Film Noir, surely the province of such dark pools and austere skies, a matinee type serial fare or tackling social and economic pressures in far flung countries it never failed to, at its heart, entertain with wit and flair.

  Godard, one of the most iconic of the French New Wave lot was well represented in the screening of “Alphaville”, an odd fusion of  dystopic science fiction filtered through a gumshoe detective story, the influences of this seminal film providing templates for future hits such as Blade Runner. Featuring a brooding central performance by Eddie Constatine, admittedly never the most versatile of actors but his granite like face and natural stoicism put to good use and when set against the luminous presence of Goddess  (and Godard muse) Anna Karina the films hypnotic gaze remains hard to resist. A science fiction film bereft of any real special effects, the sleek architecture of Paris stands in for the distant future and it’s metropolitan beauty is given an ominous and menacing sheen here. One of my favourite Godard pieces even with some of its odd storytelling lurches.

  Keeping with the New Wave for a moment, “Shoot the Piano Player” was screened, Truffauts follow on to his stunning debut The 400 Blows, it’s easy to see why on it intitial release, the reception was so muted. Following 400 Blows would be a daunting task for anyone and a genre fusion of gangster farce and existential musing must have puzzled the audience first time around. Seen from a distance there is no doubting that it’s a minor work for the director, its attempts to marry disparate threads never quite cohering as much as you like. For every well observed, tense moment you get a throwaway gag that is quite jarring and the film prides itself on being almost wilfully obscure from an exposition point of view. Tyring to figure out the relationships becomes gradually less important as the more farcical elements get amped up. Best to just forget it and enjoy some of its well staged scenes, an awkward fight sequence gets special attention for its attempts to convey a really messy scuffle and how something like that might go in real life. For all its comedy moments that don’t quite work, the film has a chilly  unsettling air that is interesting when contrasted against its on the surface fluff. Not essential to be seen but diverting enough while it lasts.

  A highlight of the festival was a multi-media event in which La Jetee was screened alongside an exhibit of photographs from the film in the Wandesford Quay art gallery. This evening was completed with a performance by electronic musicians I AM THE COMOS. La Jetee itself, is an undisputed masterpiece, directed by Chris Marker (his only foray into Sci-Fi alas) and its tight story of fate and time travel mechanics is a disquieting creation. Filmed using only still photographs and voice over it shows that when a concept is strong enough,like Alaphaville no special effects are required and the clipped nature of its production adds intriguing layers to the piece. It makes the audience feel that we are, less seeing a narrative, than unearthing a horrific document of sorts that outlines a terrifying temporal cautionary tale. With language that finds an elegiac balance between technical and poetic La Jetee has earned its place as towering science fiction and it’s no surprise it gave a template to the still most satisfying film of Terry Gilliams career, “Twelve Monkeys” (sorry Brazil fans).

  Persepolis, one of the most contemporary films at the festival this year, is an utterly charming coming of age tale about a girl named Marjane living under a strict Iranian regime and her curiosity about the world at large. Based on a graphic novel which had a distinctive look, thankfully retained for its cinematic translation, the story is an fascinating insight into the conservative traditions and violent past of Iran. Following Marjane’s attempts to explore the wider world, it encompasses a great many tones, the comedy is sweet natured and truthful but the film isn’t afraid to show just how bleak things can get for the central character, not just within Iran's borders but beyond in Europe as she makes a number of mistakes and ends up homeless. What emerges is a truthful, touching story that if played straight might not have been anywhere near as poignant. The cartoonish presentation allows many inspired flights of visual imagination, the narrative strains at the leash of standard storytelling devices and it’s this fluid integration between reality and the more abstract dreams and thoughts of its central character that makes it so affecting. For anyone who feels a stigma with regards to animation, this should be seen as sophisticated and mature film making.

  Maturity was in short supply in the best film of the festival, Aki Kaurismäki’s 1992 take on the famous novel La Vie de Bohème, it follows three Bohemian artists, a writer, a painter and musician and their strange meandering adventures chasing fortune and romance. Rodolfo played by Kaurismäki regular

Matti Pellonpää gets the meat of the story, his relationship with a woman named Mimi giving the film its main emotional hook. Pellonpää had this ability to essay a perfect man child, an emotionally stunted adult who with just one laconic expression could convey a depth of feeling, be it love or longing. His awkward courtship and the genuinely sweet relationship that springs up contains some of the films best gags but it is in the unusual formation of bonds between the characters that the film really takes hold. There’s just no reason we should be so charmed by these individuals but each actor brings a sort of lived-in nuance to the role and it makes their interactions very effective. While episodic in nature and a bit too over long, it is surprising how much this gets under your skin and it’s all down to the subtlety Kaurismäki brings to the affair. Nothing is overstated, and while some longeurs are heavy with melancholy it never gets too grim and even at its bleakest the film has a winning edge and many laughs. It certainly wouldn’t suit everyones tastes but as an exercise in bohemian whimsy it packs a pretty big emotional punch.

  A festival then which covered a myriad of tones all coated in eternal monochrome cool, it showed most definitely who indeed was hue when it comes to the possibilities of classic French cinema.

Meanwhile in the North Pole...

The mistle has gone and stubbed its toe while 3 "wise" men criticise the late late toy show Wine is mulling over his choices there in the corner Frankin isn't making lots of Sense but still getting away with myrrh-der. The music has changed this year in the Workshop The wrapping has lost its "W" and now it's gone all hip hop But the Elves are so sick of carols that they are embracing this unseasonal but totally reasonable musical "about facing". Saint Nick is busy in his office with his most important silent partner, if we were to use business vernacular to describe this unholy alliance between Father Christmas  and a shady business man named "Secular". The meeting is concerned with the fall in demand for Christmas Crackers "If the market doesn't pick up, we could easily lose our most lucrative backers!" Nick sits back in his chair remembering the good old days of sleigh bells and sleet Now he has to employ an elf to write whatever it is St. Nick is meant to Tweet "Things have changed in the North Pole", he says before an ominous pause "I think Father Time is biding himself til he makes a move on Mrs. Claus!!" "Frosty the Snowman is nowhere to be found Some Sunny boy has said he saw him go to ground after he was busted last year for some "snow" at one of his usual gigs When he was questioned by the police he gave up his dealer, the mysterious 'R. Briggs'!" Blitzen through his Christmas card writing, so Donner can begin his splurging Vixen makes the joke that as reindeer go she's hardly like the holy Virgin Comet's streaking through the place, with Dasher swift in pursuit Rudolph is a bit of brown/red noser so he's re-examining the Christmas route Dancer has four left feet so he's nervous about Cupids advances While the final reindeer is mincing around, yep, cause he's the one that prances Noel, the newest elf intern isn't feeling very festive Holly and Jolly the twins in Accounting, didn't like him being so suggestive he got in to this job on his J(olly)1 Visa But now he'd rather have post "St. Stephens day Amenisa"! Mrs. Claus just shrugs at the state of the place saying "Tis the season" While she makes a shoddy jumper for her husband in act of passive aggression "Jack Frost is a cool customer but I must remember I'm not single! And thinking about it, it's not bad at all being Mrs. Kris Kringle" Next year they'll all be more organised and I think  they'll rediscover the joys of it But til then all my well wishes can be summarised in  Nollaig Shona Duit!

Independent Artist (Pt.1)

Beyonce fever seems to have gripped the world with her new album coming out of nowhere. So I wrote this to celebrate such an "Independent Woman" (Pt.1) "The marriage to Jay- Z, she got it better solo career than Kelly, she got it The booty she's shaking, she got it, cause she depends on royalties Another platinum release that's hot she'll record it Another "featuring" guest spot She'll work it The album she made is strong She'll drop it 17 videos for each song You can't stop it I depend on the original melody (it's a good melody) All the producers who have been contracted Throw your tracks at me! All the directors who have been contacted Throw your plans at me! All the survivors who are ticket holders Throw your cash at me! All the internet trolls who can't touch the Knowles, Throw your trash at me! Girl, I don't know how you hit the notes like that..."

Chilly

The smile in the dark Of the potential dangers the safe shores framed by your beacon glow the sun gilded sheen And your rhythm  chimed like the heartbeat of stones along that country walk The blue of the sky softening to something chilly above us . Some narratives I would never cling to, ghost stories in the teeth of fiction The touch of a hand in that false night grants an audience to such things. Shoo away the onset of heavy dusk til the song of morning sounds.

Jeffrey Lewis and The Rain || The Crane Lane Wednesday 17th July 2013 - Noise

A review I did for Jeffrey Lewis and The Rain. To say I enjoyed it would be an understatement.

It Goes Without Saying

The debate was getting lively and from inside the mind Mr. Quote was ready to leave his house. He was fully prepared for the flight. He had been training for it all his life. His wife Chatty was waiting for him at the door. As he kissed her good bye,she was talking incessantly while he remained his stoic self. Noticing his nerves, she softly said "Oscar, don't worry. You'll be well received. We all know you're popular. Weren't you named after Oscar Wilde?" The walk from the Mind to the Mouth was a short enough one. However he wanted to take a steady stride and not rush out. So many thoughts and words stream out too soon. This business was all about the timing. He looked upon a nice neighbourhood in the Larynx. Chatty and he had once thought about getting a rent controlled Statement in that area but he wasn't sure about the area. He was quite vocal about the place failing to strike a chord with him. Stopping to freshen up in a recites-room he took a look at his own inflection and felt good. Confident. He was Wildean and people love Oscar Wilde quotes. He was lucky he was born into such a well respected family.  A piece of food, an obvious out-of-frowner, which had been staying in Lodges, (lodged inside a tooth actually) stopped him asking for directions to the Esophagus. Some people in the Mind and Mouth mistreated such foreign substances in their area but nothing bothered Oscar more than facial tensions so he was only too happy to help. "Follow the path you were on and keep to the cleft, past that Orifice building there and you should be fine!" Oscar then found himself staring at the tooth fields he'd have to navigate across. Lucky for him a breath stop was nearby. Waiting for the next strong Breath he amused himself by reading a newspaper, Tonsil Today which was a publication that was floundering after one of the founding partners had been removed. An editorial touched on the subject. It read: While we will of course miss one of our esteemed editors and wish him well in these troubled times all is still speechy keen here at the paper. We needed to collectively clear our throat as it were, and this was felt to have been the path(ogen) of least resistance. Don't reach for any lymphoid tissues as of yet however, the palate cleanser that we have planned in this issue will not only be a mouthful but shall be quite cheeky in places!

It was obvious this was them paying mere Lip-Service to a disgraced colleague. Oscar sneaked a quick peek at his favourite comic strip Jawbone as the 214 Breath arrived. It was lucky for him too as a saliva shower was just starting. The Breath drove next to Timbre fences and vocal tracts could be seen out in the fields. He heard a Lisp behind him remark, "I'd get the breath more often if the frequency of them improved." They reached the tongue and Oscar prepared himself for his flight. If successful, his Quote would soar in the debate and punctuate some fundamental point that could win the day. He'd hang in the air, having made his mark and would eventually seep back into the mind and be back home before his absence was noted by the Mention family down the street. The tongue launched Oscar and some other Phrases into the air but as they were just getting shy of the mouth, the engine and the speaker stuttered. Oscar felt his body being mangled and distorted as only half of his being was uttered. He was mumbled beyond recognition and as he fell from the argument into the seas of obscurity he thought about Chatty and how she should have married her talkative ex-boyfriend Luke-Quacious. Wildean quips couldn't save him now and due to his now misspoken nature he was wit-out hope as he plummeted to his fate. It was then his panic subsided for a moment and his training kicked in. He quickly looked under his phonetic seating and discovered something that would save him. Placing an item on his back he let his body relax like a slurred sentence. He pulled the string on his Para-phrase and it slowed his descent into the forgotten remarks below.

A Blood-splatter analysis of the Dexter finale

The confusions to be found at the base of this narrative seems to suggest a sadistic writing team who used whatever "blunt instruments" were at hand to overpower the audience. The angle they took, if you can follow the attempts at tying up of all the messy loose ends to the right of the victim tells us that this was not a Six Feet Under copycat killer as Michael C. Hall's work there was at least given a satisfying conclusion. The abrasions to this body of work could be described as heavy handed and seems to be the act of a showrunner in a rush, perhaps fleeing with a large amount of money before the true nature of his crime is discovered. Writers of this type seem to have an innate lack of subtlety probably stemming from a childhood need to insert unnecessary symbolism and a love of endings which require absolutely no investment. We're looking at an 8th season suspect who very often talks to himself in the guise of ponderous "voice overs". The suspect is syndicated and dangerous and currently at large on the re-run.

Star Trek at 50

10 episodes from each of the 5 series to give an overview of 50 episodes of the franchise I love. I will also give honourable mentions and name what I consider the weakest episode (“Total Gagh”) along with 2 other sections. “Praise the Prophets” will discuss elements I think are overpraised and “Cloaked from Culture” will discuss underrated aspects.  This is by no means anything definitive. I wrote this on the fly just to celebrate TREK and invariably will be episodes I have forgotten but part of the fun is in going with gut instinct and seeing which stand out to me.  Also multi part episodes have been condensed to one pick for the sake of sanity. This gets tougher with Deep Space 9 and Enterprise which had more serialised storylines. There will be brief notes on each episode. To avoid ranking episodes I present them in season order. The Original Series Season 1 1.  “Where No Man has Gone Before”. Gary on Star Trek…

The second pilot and third episode broadcast due to TOS’ odd airing of episodes (production order vs. broadcast order is indeed a tangled tholian web of continuity) this episode sets out the Trek stall pretty early using a pet premise from Roddenberry, man being granted the power of a God. I also enjoy the rough around the edges characterisations and approach due to the fact that this was the first proper outing for a show still in flux. Lofty and a touch silly which to me is Trek in a nutshell. 2. “The Menagerie” Cagey attitudes… An irresistible premise in Spock being court martialled which eloquently manages to incorporate footage from the first Trek pilot “The Cage”. Getting to see Captain Pike (Jeffrey Hunter) in full flight alongside the mysterious Number One (franchise institution Majel Barrett) is wonderful and this is an episode that feels like it has real jeopardy. The only two parter from the Original series. 3.  “The Conscience of the King” The Play’s the King… A complex moral dilemma as Kirk stumbles across an actor who may have been a mass murderer in the past, this is an episode suffused with Shakespearean references which serves its knotty narrative well. 4. “Balance of Terror” Das Shoot… The Romulans make their first on-screen appearance in a tense spaceship battle that feels like a dry run for elements of Wrath of Khan. Buoyed by Mark Lenard’s dignified performance as the unnamed Romulan commander this is a seminal original series episode defining one of Treks great villainous races.

 5. “Space Seed”

The scrapes of wrath… An episode with a real Khan-do attitude this is a fantastic introduction to Trek’s most enduring bad guy (for better or worse) Montablan is elegant and suave and it gives us one of the show’s most ridiculous and gloriously entertaining round of fisticuffs between the Khan and Kirk, a trope wisely not repeated in the Wrath of Khan. 6. The City on the Edge of Forever Keeling over… Trek sometimes struggles with convincing romances but here in the relative short timeframe of a single episode Kirk contemplates altering time forever for the love of a good woman. There’s a lived in feeling to the episode that adds to its genuine pathos. Stone cold classic, with a Keeler of an ending. Season 2 7. Amok Time. Some Vulcan sulkin’…

Pon Farr and that music would be enough but as someone who loves Vulcans this episode was a treat for exploring that race’s culture. It was a confident opener to the second series of the show and an instant classic. This was the episode I watched the night I heard Leonard Nimoy had died and it’s a great tribute. 8. Mirror, Mirror The Terran-able twos… The ubiquity of the goatee (a great statement) across pop culture may blunt its impact but Trek’s first trip to the Mirror universe retains its core themes of hopeful optimism. This episode has become a touchstone for a whole genre of dystopian alternate timelines and is meaty enough to still be provocative. 9. The Trouble with Tribbles

Cyrano Jonesin’… An absolute romp and again its iconic nature and subsequent re-visit via a future episode might take the shine off the original but this is just fun stuff, a silly adventure story for our gang where most of the characters get some interesting roles to play. Sadly, the show didn’t always dish things out quite like that. Season 3 10. Day of the Dove Do the Kang Kang…

Energy beings were always toying with the Enterprise and Klingons were a constant looming threat so this episode combines the two to great effect. Klingons are given some much needed shading and Michael Ansara’s performance as Kang is one for the ages. Honourable Mentions: Let that be your Last Battlefield: Heavy handed but iconic with its images and Frank Gorshin is a treasure. Arena: Gorn addiction. Total Gagh: The Way to Eden: Space Hippies. *Sigh* Praise the Prophets: Some of the much trumpeted social commentary feels a bit overemphasised. There’s no denying Star Trek tackled themes and allegory but it was often a very silly show that was just plain wacky. Nothing wrong with that at all! I sometimes think people overpraise the shows soapbox elements to the detriment of its goofier side. Cloaked from Culture: TOS is a pop culture artefact and has been very much pored over but an element that is overlooked is the crew outside the Kirk/ Spock/ McCoy trinity. While some are quite underwritten there is a solid support there from the secondary characters and a recurring roster with Yeoman Rand, Christine Chapel et al. Comments: Season 1 gets the most love. The Next Generation Season 2: 1. The Measure of a Man Soong-rise of the machines… No surprises here, TNG’s first classic and still one of the most beloved instalments. Despite being a somewhat wobbly premise in theory (all this stuff with Data’s rights as a being surely would have come up as he was entering Star Fleet) this is still powerful material and features the best characterisation of Picard up to that point. The measured Picard of the halcyon days of TNG took time to develop. I still believe he is a cranky weirdo in the first two seasons of the show but this was the episode that really began to create my favourite Trek Captain. Peerless. Season 3: 2. Deja Q The real Suddenly Human… A funny episode that evolves Q’s character and gives him some of his best lines. There is a long held belief between my brother and I that the crew constantly misunderstand Q. He is always met with suspicion that he is lying but never really has. He’s so powerful he has no reason for subterfuge. He put humanity on trial. He granted Riker powers. He lost his own abilities here. Picard was responsible for the destruction of humanity. The list goes on and on and I always find it funny that once per Q episode a character will say something along the lines of “But what’s he really up to? Or what isn’t he telling us?” Nothing you fools, he’s mischievous but straight up! Anyway a great episode that ends with Data laughing. Sublime. 3. Yesterday’s Enterprise. I Enterprise C what you did there… Taut, thrilling, complex and finally something for Tasha Yar to do two seasons after she died. A glimpse into the tough war like show Star Trek could have been (and perhaps flirted with in DS9) this is a famously thrown together episode, various drafts and writers coming together to make it work so the fact that it’s a classic is a miracle. All the better for being a done in one. 4. Best of Both Worlds

FIRE on the Bridge…

I can’t add anything to this that hasn’t entered the public consciousness already. Locutus of Borg, that doomsday choir, the cube, resistan…well it’s futile to quote. TNG was a wolf 359 in sheep’s clothing all this time! Season 4/ Season 5 5. Redemption That’s no way to Gowron an empire… A personal favourite which has political intrigue causing schisms in the Klingon empire. Introduces Gowron (played by Robert O’Reilly the most unblinking of actors I have ever seen) and ties into several episodes of Worf’s personal arc as well as Yesterday’s Enterprise. Masterful. Season 5 6. Darmok The language warrior… The episode that created a meme and a thoughtful exploration of cultural differences. I’m not sure the logic of an entire language based on metaphors is particularly sound but as an allegory and an episode it’s so well-crafted that to complain would be churlish. Shaka, when the walls fell. 7. The Inner Light Time flutes when you’re having fun… I mentioned earlier about the slow process of Picard settling as a character but this episode gives Patrick Stewart the best work he’s done as Picard lives out an entire life in less than a half an hour. The script really sells the idea of a life lived and despite it having that studio bound feeling of many Trek planet and civilisations this world feels more authentic than normal. Season 6

8. Tapestry Taking my Q from this… An insight into Picard’s past and an ambiguous treatise on his relationship with Q this episode’s conceit is brilliantly sustained giving a Quantum Leap-esque shot for Picard to right the wrongs of his past. The dull dreary present he finds himself in is quietly devastating in its way and total contrasts for how timelines are usually altered for the apocalyptic. Seeing Picard as such an uninspired non-entity is truly depressing.

 Season 7 9. The Pegasus Riker taken down a peg or two… This might surprise people but I just really love this episode. A great guest turn from Terry O’Quinn and it examines some disconnects from Riker’s character in which he can oscillate from fun loving rogue to oddly stoic stick in the mud. This episode provides a rationale for an officer who found blindly following duty could lead to questionable decisions and tough choices. Also the Enterprise gets to cloak! 10. All Good Things Picard’s picking the cards… Arguably my favourite episode of all Star Trek, the episode is a celebration of a great tv show. With Generations on the horizon the episode didn’t have to round off the characters’ lives, something that can hobble tv show finales. Instead this just acts as a great send off, touching on aspects of the show from the beginning and going full circle with that very first arc. It really feels like the stakes are universally big and even if the time travel is wishy washy and the central problem more cerebral that some would like the episode is warm and funny and again lofty in scope. An episode of ideas and a perfect send off before these characters went to the big screen. Honourable Mentions: The Drumhead: I just really like this one. McCarthyism in the 24h century. Who Watches the Watchers: Prime example of the Prime directive and its complexity. Total Gagh: Shades of Gray: Poorly conceived clip show, a by-product of a writer’s strike but even so an absolute mess. (Sub Rosa must also be mentioned). Praise the Prophets: I think the general consensus of TNG is pretty right on the money, wobbly start that blossomed into a powerhouse of a show. The 6th season is curiously overpraised by some including Brent Spiner and Ronald D. Moore. I mean it’s all subjective but I don’t think the 6th season is massively different quality wise from the seasons around it. Certainly not enough to be noted but each to their own. Cloaked from Culture: An episode like “In Theory” that falls between the cracks of seasons. A smart and thoughtful episode that is maybe too soft for much of fandom. Comments: Picard dominates these picks and is still my favourite Captain. Season 3 gets the most love. Deep Space 9 Season 1 1. Duet Bajor character development… A tense two hander that deepens Kira’s character and has a stunning guest turn from Harris Yulin this is a twisty slow burner that shows the multi-dimensional facets of an enemy and the regrets that conflicts can bring. Easily the best episode of the shows somewhat middling first season.

Season 2

2. Necessary Evil Columbo in Cardassian limbo… An episode about Odo as fluid as a shapeshifter changing forms and the format is just as malleable as film noir bleeds into the more recognisable elements. Showing life before the Cardassians left this is a tough episode that refreshingly doesn’t pull its punches. 3. The Jem’ Hadar An absolute Jem of an episode…

I’m using this episode to stand in for the Dominion conflict starting. This is a pacy chapter that sets up the series’ newest villains and also allows Quark to win back some ground for Ferengi pride. Season 3 4. Improbable Cause/ The Die is Cast Shiar madness… The first episode is pitch perfect crime story but then it becomes an all-out galactic invasion narrative but never loses sight of its main aim, to probe the depths of DS9’s best supporting character, the ever elusive and inscrutable Garak. Season 4 (possibly my favourite all-round season of any Star Trek show)

 5. The Way of the Warrior Mogh-li’s road…

Serving as an introduction to Worf coming on board and also pitting the Federation against the Klingons once more, this is a barnstorming tale of bat’leths and broken promises. An absolute highpoint of DS9. 6. The Visitor Jakes-speare… An episode that deals with familial love in that sort of big hearted way usually only afforded to weepy romance stories this is Trek’s love of technobabble funnelled into a properly affecting story that uses an arresting framing device to make its ultimate point on the limitless possibilities of family and time.

7. Our Man Bashir

All fun and James…

This is here because of pure fun. The best holodeck gone wrong story this perfect parody of James Bond films is both affectionate and critical, offering the harsh realities of the spy game through cynical Garak but maintaining its wide eyed idealism and roguish heart through the fantasies of Bashir. The ending is quite subversive on the topic of saving the world and is a sort of ghoulish kiss off of her Majesty’s finest agent. Season 5 8. Trials and Tribble-lations Can I Kirk or can’t I?... Star Trek throws its own best birthday party, a day of the dove-tail between classic trek and the so called black sheep of the franchise. Superb effects work and such a loving tone mix to perfect effect. People may quibble (does a tribble ever quibble) with some liberties but if you can’t have fun with an episode like this I suggest you may be a Klingon pretending to be a human! 9. A Call to Arms DS9 no more, back to Terok Nor… The war begins as the season ends and this kicks off one of the best things the show ever did, it’s serialised arc about Dukat re-taking the station. This episode feels momentous in that things are really happening and there’s an uncertainty over everyone fate. Seeing the Defiant join a huge armada at the episode’s end is beautiful grace note to leave the 5th season on.

Season 6

10. In the Pale Moonlight Holo-victories… I’m not someone who believes darker is better but this is easily the darkest episode of the entire franchise and it is riveting. Sisko almost breaks the fourth wall as he details the lengths he will go to win the war and the allies he will enlist. It also created a meme in Senator Vreenak and even as a kid found that scene and delivery overripe. I kept thinking to myself is that the best take they had?? Honourable Mentions:   Far Beyond the Stars: I’ll get in trouble for not including this in the main list but parsing Deep Space Nine is hard. A superb episode that I almost put in instead of A Call to Arms but wanted to represent the war arc of the show. This has interesting things to say about humanity’s past and the origins of sci-fi like Star Trek but, and this will be heresy to most but I find Benny’s breakdown at the end quite overacted and that has always slightly spoiled the effect for me. Otherwise a classic. Inquisition: Kafka-esque themes and the first appearance of Section 31 Total Gagh: Profit and Lace: Too wacky and too tacky and underserves some great character like Zek. (for people who would think Let He Who is Without Sin should be here, close call but the shallow part of me forgives that episode a lot due to the scene of Jadzia Dax in her bathing suit. It’s still a Trill to this day.) Praise the Prophets: While DS9 did have pay offs and serialisation I sometimes think it’s overstated. Characters grew but certain things occur that are never mentioned again and if they happened in other Trek shows they’d be highlighted. A few examples: Hard Time: O’Brien lives out years in jail. After the episode never seems traumatised about it ever again. Children of Time: A future version of Odo makes a very questionable decision. Never discussed. Necessary Evil: A secret revealed about Kira. Never mentioned again. Sacrifice of Angels: Damar kills Ziyal. Not dealt with again. Don’t get me wrong. Deep Space 9 is my favourite but I do think there was a mild reset button people overlook. Cloaked from Culture: The humour. Always seen as the dour stepchild, Deep Space 9 has some of the best jokes and most likeable characters in the franchise. Comments: No overriding character dominates the mix here, speaking to the all-round strong characterisation of DS9. Season 4 gets the most love. Voyager 1. Caretaker Delta a bad hand… I really like the opening episode of the series and the promise that lay ahead. Sure the Maquis become as interchangeable as any Star Fleet crew but here the tension is real and the stakes high as the ship is sent to the other side of the galaxy. Knowing the show couldn’t rely on familiar races and would have to create a plethora of new aliens was exciting and fresh and the episode crackles along nicely. 2. Eye of the Needle Alpha Mail…

First absolute classic and one tied into the shows premise. The first “Will they get home?” episode and one of the best. This feels like a Star Trek Tales of the Unexpected set up with a properly great ending. Season 2 3. Death Wish The No Quinn situation…

Trek at its best deals with large questions and uses a sci-fi prism to examine them. The downsides of immortality and the stagnation of a society is ripe for discussion and that’s what a lot of “Death Wish” is, big conversation on cosmic themes. It has a very silly Riker cameo but at least that continued Jonathan Frakes ubiquity across the franchise. If we create time travel let’s give him a TOS appearance but a better written one than his popping up in Enterprise! 4. Tuvix Between a Tuvok and a hard place… A silly premise that turned into one of the most affecting episodes. A transporter accident merges Tuvok and Neelix into a brand new being but when the Doctor figures out how to undo the damage it throws up a huge moral quandary. The performances are exemplary and Tuvix is a likeable enough character that you don’t want him to just be done away with so quickly.

Season 3/ 4 5. Scorpion

Hive-way to Hell…

Voyager meets the Borg and it doesn’t disappoint. A moral dilemma well executed, the first appearance of Seven of Nine and one of the best cliff-hangers Trek ever gave us. Clearly it was their attempt at a Best of Both Worlds but crucially it doesn’t feel derivative. 6. Living Witness Doctoring History…

A rare episode that features no regular characters, save a hugely contrived version of the Doctor as a backup version of the hologram this is look at re-written history and how distorted facts keep certain conflicts alive. There is also a voyeuristic pleasure in seeing hologram versions of Voyagers crew acting so out of character and just how many facts one could get wrong about the past. Is that a Kazon on the conn?

Season 5

7. Timeless Kim chances of survival…

Voyagers 100th episode and a rare chance for Kim to get some meaty stuff. Future Kim is a bit too hard-bitten and gritty for my tastes but the show has temporal fun and Voyager crashing onto an ice planet is a spectacular set piece. 8. Latent Image

When the Doctor goes feedback loopy… An engaging mystery, stellar character work for the Doctor and a very curious off brand ending that favours simple debate and philosophy over final act peril this is an unsung masterpiece of paranoia and tough ethical decisions.

9. Someone to watch over me

Courting disaster…

A light and human episode with a lot of natural humour The Doctor attempts to teach Seven how to date and the episode has a ball with it. It even side steps some clichéd moments you think the show will employ but instead is like Voyagers’ “In Theory”. Overlooked and severely underrated.

Season 6 10. Blink of an Eye

You have to Planet ahead…

One of my absolute favourites due to its high concept of Voyager becoming embroiled in the culture of a planet where times moves faster. The script takes its time and makes the planet feel real and rich in detail. The set up itself lends itself to a lot of pathos and is simply one of the best proper “hard” sci-fi stories the series told.

 Honourable Mentions: Message in a Bottle: Fun and hijinks that also moves the overall arc of the show forward. Night: A scary and unsettling look into how long term space travel could have an adverse effect on mental health. The main set piece in which the ship loses power in a dark void is perfect and it also introduced the Captain Proton  Total Gagh: Threshold: No surprise here. An abomination of an episode and best forgotten. It warped our perceptions of the show.

Praise the Prophets: Dragons Teeth was always weirdly overpraised to me. It’s a fine episode but I never would clamour for the Vaadwuar to return but considering Voyager was often overly criticised, I should be glad this episode took hold as much as it did.

Cloaked from Culture: The relationship of Tom Paris and B’Elanna felt natural and well written for a series that often stumbles when tackling love stories. It is an overlooked component of something Voyager did very well.

Comments: Most episodes I love seem to favour the Doctor and why shouldn’t they? Season 5 gets the most love.

Enterprise Season 1 1. Broken Bow

Prequel rights for all concerned…

An action packed opening that throws tensions between Vulcans and humans, conflicts with Klingons and temporal Cold War and is a fun introduction to the characters and set up. The Suliban are visually imaginative and there’s a sense of adventure throughout. As pilots go this is stellar stuff.

2. The Andorian Incident One small step for Shrankind… A nicely judged tale of intrigue that gives us our first look at Shran and deepens the Andorian culture but does continue the shows worrying trend of throwing the Vulcans under the bus (out the airlock?). 3. Dear Doctor State of Phlox…

Phlox was an underutilized character and this is one of his finest hours. A proper moral dilemma again in the vein of Tuvix or an episode like that. Enterprise has its fair share of detractors but crew conflict was definitely one of its strengths. Season 2 4. Future Tense Timing is everything… Enterprise also excelled in action and this is a glorious stand-off between various factions trying to capture a time ship. I wasn’t against the temporal cold war arc as much as others were. It definitely hampered the show at the beginning and should have been teased out slower if it was to be done at all but this is a nice standalone time story that deftly touches upon the arc. 5. Regeneration First Second Contact… Temporal Investigations would frown on this episode that shows Archer tackling the Borg but the Borg continuity has always been askew. This is as close to horror as Enterprise got (minus some Zombie like Vulcans in another episode) and there’s a nice Cronenbergian shiver to the proceedings here. Another good episode from Season 2 of Enterprise which I consider one of the worst seasons of any Trek show. It bounced back with its next two years though.

Season 3

6. Twilight

Time’s Archer… Much like Children of Time this gives us an alternate future tinged with tragedy while also playing on an ill Archer. The relationship with T’Pol is handled sensitively and while we only get hints of the new status quo the episode does a good job of feeling satisfying even if it’s clear a giant re-set button is going to be pressed any nanosecond now…

7. Similitude

A Trippy outing… Manny Coto’s first script and is a perfect example of what Trek does well. A new version of Trip is created when the original is near death but surely this new version has his own rights. No simple answers are given and it stands as a modern classic overlooked in the chorus of Enterprise criticisms.

Season 4 8. Borderland/ Cold Station 12/ The Augments Soong-ing your praises… Arik Soong with a team of Augments in a commandeered Bird of Prey warping through space, do I even have to explain why this 3 parter is so good? It has a lot of conflict, great action and an edge often lacking in the show. There’s a body count and an escalation of the threat that feels legitimately dangerous. Packaged together it would have made a great film. 9. In A Mirror Darkly Defiant-ly different… Unusual in that it takes place entirely in the Mirror universe this is Trek taking a holiday or indulging in its own cosplay. It’s fun seeing the slightly bland (and hey I’m an Enterprise apologist!) crew getting to have fun and loosen up. It’s a trashy camp outing that I wouldn’t want every week but fun for a week or two. 10. Terra Nova/ Demons All’s Weller that ends Weller… The true ending to Enterprise (it’s much maligned last episode tactfully described as a coda by showrunner Manny Coto) this episode deals with xenophobia in a way that illustrates that the humans of Enterprise are now quite the angels of previous Roddenberry helmed shows. Peter Weller is a marvellous antagonist and again the show asks hard questions while still retaining a sense of danger and action. Honourable Mentions:   Dead Stop: Old fashioned romp with a nice mystery and great designs. Zero Hour: I’m a big fan of the Xindi arc and picked the finale to represent the whole thing. Taking the show serialised and making it a bit darker to comment on the world Post 9-11 gave the show a relevance and an edge and course corrected the entire series. I liked the Xindi as a race and I also enjoyed the ticking clock element. The finale has a few off notes but largely succeeds and did lead in nicely to the strongest season of the show.

Total Gagh: These are the Voyages…:Yep, as bad as they say, a clunky valentine to the show that undermines Enterprise and serves to give a nod to Riker’s appearance across the entire body of work. Also it poorly serves The Pegasus an episode I previously mentioned as a favourite. Berman and Braga regret it now and like Threshold would be an episode I would gladly erase from canon.

Praise the Prophets:  The re-creation of the Trinity with Archer/ T’Pol/ Trip. This was a nice nod to TOS but badly affected the other characters and made some of them barely more than ciphers. A missed opportunity. Cloaked from Culture: Scott Bakula as Archer. The character changed and deepened and Bakula is a charming lead. He was saddled with some baffling characterisation early on but he is the unsung Captain of the franchise. Comments: I like Enterprise a lot but will admit that creator fatigue had set in by this stage and after 600 hours how could it have not?  Season 4 gets the most love.

  Honourable mention for Star Trek the Animated Series: Yesteryear No Spock left unturned… The best animated episode and one so beloved that during the period it was deemed not canon, writers from other series would sneak in references. As this is long enough already. Capsule overview of the films. TOS films The Motion Picture- Ponderous and slow but ambitious and oddly compelling. It’s not for everyone but there’s something there amongst the drawn out peril. Wrath of Khan- Stone cold classic that has proper themes and tense battles. Kirks final line “I feel young” is Shatner’s greatest moment in my opinion. Search for Spock- Silly but very Star Treky this is a comfort movie for me. The reunion scene at the end when Spock asks “The ship? Out of danger?” gets me every time.

The Voyage Home- Glorious and totally off model and all the better for it. Fish out of water comedy meets Whales out of time hijinks!

The Final Frontier- This isn’t a particularly well made film BUT I think its underrated. The characters are bang on, Kirk standing up to “God” is Trek at its most iconic and the reveal from McCoy’s past is heart-breaking. More good stuff in it than people think. The Undiscovered Country- A favourite of mine. Compelling mystery, topical politics and an old Vulcan proverb, “Only Nixon could go to China”. TNG films

Generations-

A muddled but not joyless outing. Sure Kirks death is a damp squib and an unforgivable gag (bridge on the Captain) but its analysis of time and grief is interesting.

First Contact-

There’s a been a bit of weird retroactive bashing of this film but I say thee nay. Great action, fun conceits and a properly threatening Borg presence pre- their de-fanging on Voyager.

Insurrection-

Underrated and in the absolute spirit of Roddenberry. Sure it may feel like an extended episode but I don’t think a film would stop so much to have that Dougherty/ Picard argument which I love and it has a sunny disposition which was a nice palette cleanser after First Contact.

Nemesis-

A mess. Wrath of Khan minus the depth.  It played up its duality theme in a far too heavy handed way and the characters seemed off. “The victory of the echo over the voice” was always a line I liked however.

Kelvin Timeline films

Star Trek ’09-

Dumb fun and a much needed adrenaline boost for the series. There are niggles but I still think it has flair and its origin structure papers over some cracks.

Into Darkness-

The foundation weakens in this po faced misfire. Anything interesting is automatically undermined and most of it is a re-hash of Star Trek 2 with no subtlety.

Beyond-

Very good but in my opinion not great return to form that I think needed some more polishing but in general a good outing that re-sets the table going ahead. Nice to see proper exploration again and that is very much in the spirit of Star Trek.

Emmet O'Brien takes on Superman.

Here is my review of Man of Steel. I've made it pretty much spoiler free but still approach with caution if you're trying to stay uninformed before the film is released!

This is a drawing from a book I have written and am trying to get published. Art by the incredibly talented Marie Denham.  mariedenham:

The Moon Fox- Children’s Book

Written by Emmet O’Brien and illustrated by moi