He’s Fine Guys Just. Just Give Him A Minute

Eugene Korolev

hyn. gouache watercolor painting on paper 2017

people with blood on their teeth are just so special to me.

Scary dog privilege

that's kind of crazy

CW: reference to rape, ptsd responses, an ableist slur

I’m a broken record but post-cage Sam actually having ptsd and acting like someone with ptsd is SO important to me.

Sam sitting in a diner and being unable to answer when the waitress asks what he wants so Dean just says “he’s shy sorry, he wants pancakes” and then dean cuts up the pancakes for sam and feeds it to him cuz he can’t do it himself.

Sam in the grocery store with dean trying to be helpful and get the pasta but he’s skittish and flinches whenever anybody is near and he keeps fidgeting so he seems a bit off but Dean is just proud of him cuz before he wouldn’t leave dean’s side for a second so it’s progress. Then they go to checkout and Sam’s still fidgeting and won’t look the cashier in the eye and the cashier smiles at dean and says “I’ve got a nephew like that too” and dean internally like “what??” And he doesn’t fully get it until later

They’re on a park bench and Sam is clearly a bit off but he hasn’t had a fit or breakdown today yet so Dean thinks it a pretty good day until some kid’s ball comes flying over to them and at first deans worried the fast movement will freak him out but instead he picks up the ball and the kid come over and he tries to hand the ball back but he has a tremor and drops it and apologizes but he has a hard time speaking now so it’s a bit broken up and gargled but Dean thinks it’s an improvement compared to when sam could only speak in screams and Enochian. He tries to pick the ball up again but the kid gets it before him and gives him a weird look and dean can faintly hear him whisper under his breath “retard” and just hopes Sam didn’t hear it.

Sam has serious brain fog sometimes and wanderers away from dean and then forgets where he is and thinks he’s back in the cage and freaks out. Dean finds him just in time before a shop clerk calls the police cuz the clerk tried to touch him and Sam knocked him in the jaw.

Sam has a hard time reading cuz he can’t focus and English is hard to read now because the words all swim and blur together and he’s upset about it so Dean starts reading books outloud to him.

Sam drops a glass and he freaks out and starts to cower and bends over to try and pick up the shards with his bare hands and he nicks his palms but he just dosent want Dean to be mad he can’t he can’t he can’t and Dean just softly grabs Sam’s hands to stop him and tells him he’s okay and that deans not mad

Sam sitting in a diner drinking coffee like he used to and deans happy abt it cuz he’s acting like he used to but then he spills the hot coffee on him and suddenly all he can feel is fire fire fire burning him alive and Lucifer laughing and Lucifer’s hot burning cock sinking into him and searing him from the inside— and then he comes back to himself later in a motel with dean sitting next to him. His shirt has been stripped off and dean’s already treated the burn wounds.

Sam loses himself in his mind somedays. It’s like he blinks and suddenly it’s three days later and Sam’s so scared cuz SO much time has already been taken from him. And deans so scared cuz Sam will seemingly shrink into himself for days as if he’s on autopilot.

Some thoughts on Sam & Dean’s handgun preferences

Or: why Sam has more guns, but Dean is the better shot

So I can’t find much proper meta about the weapons (and even the SPN wiki was making mistakes.) But I think there’s a goldmine of good character stuff here. Ryan Steacy has been the SPN armorer since the beginning of the show, and he’s put some really nice thought into the boys. Respect, love, appreciation for him. 

So… I’ll just jump right in, shall I? 

Dean’s M1911A1

Dean carries the baddass American pistol. It’s very macho, very MURICA. The 1911 was the service gun during WWI & WWII, right up through the Korean war. So it gets (and deserves) a lot of love. They have a reputation for needing more maintenance than some modern pistols, but considering how often Dean’s just sitting there, casually cleaning while chatting with Sam, he probably sees this as more a feature than a bug. He’s a natural mechanic. Firearm maintenance is probably relaxing and zen for him. 

(I do think that for Sam it’s more a stressed-based compulsion. He tends to do it when he’s feeling helpless or scared. In “Hello, Cruel World” Dean interprets Sam’s gun-cleaning as sign that he’s in a bad headspace. 

BOBBY: Well, at least he’s not curled up under the sink.  DEAN: Yeah, no, he’s just sitting there silently field stripping his weapon. 

And Hallucination!Lucifer sees it as evidence that Sam’s suicidal. Sam goes for a more traditionally low-maintenance pistol, and I kinda think Dean may clean it for him a lot of the time.)

But anyway. Dean’s 1911 holds large .45 caliber Colt ACP rounds - which means it can only fire seven shots before he has to reload. (Sam’s pistol, by the way, can fire seventeen shots in a row.) 

And people who like the 1911 say this is fine. The bullets are so big and the gun is so powerful that seven shots is all you need. (You hear the phrase “stopping power” or “knock-down power” a lot.) But there are also the people who think that the 1911 is just over-powerful, and it isn’t worth it to sacrifice carrying capacity and accuracy for pure force. 

Because yeah, it is harder to be a really good shot when you’re using .45 ACP rounds. Target shooting teachers will probably start you off with baby .22mm bullets, then slowly move you up to something bigger (bigger bullets = slower bullets = less accurate bullets. Also more recoil, which makes everything harder.) This guy is kind of intense, but puts it well when he says “every step up the caliber ladder means another round of very serious training.” 

But hey, Dean is a better shot than Sam

Like, I don’t think it’s ever explicitly stated, but of course he is? 

Their entire childhood, it would have been Sam going back to the motel room early to study or do his homework, while Dean dutifully puts in another three hours shooting coke cans off fenceposts. 

This also helps explain his choice of handgun. Dean uses a less accurate pistol with a smaller carrying capacity because he can. He knows he’s going to hit the thing the first time. And if he’s going to be fighting literal wendigos, I guess he wants the holes he pokes in them to be as big as possible. 

(plus all this classic Americana does kind of go with the Impala) 

Sams’ Taurus PT92AFS

Sam spends the first season borrowing Dean’s Smith & Wesson 5906. It’s very clearly Dean’s - it fires .45 ACP rounds (Dean’s preference) and Dean sometimes actually loads it before handing it over to Sam. Since Sam doesn’t actually want to be a hunter though most of S1, this makes perfect sense. 

Then in S2, Sam gets his Taurus PT92AFS – basically, a budget version of the  Beretta M92. In a lot of ways, the Taurus is the souped-up Honda civic you get when you can’t afford a Ferrari. (and in both cases, you’ll totally get people saying they’re being smart by not paying extra for the brand name.) 

A Taurus  PT92AFS is a practical and cautious choice. It’s not the least bit flashy. It’s light and accurate, it carries a lot of rounds, and they’re little .99mm rounds, which are more budget conscious and accurate than .45 ACP rounds.

Partway into S2, Sam’s Taurus gets nickel plating and pearl grip. Possibly Sam did this so his gun would match Dean’s. Or possibly Dean customized Sam’s pistol as a gift. (it’s the firearm equivalent of painting racing stripes on your car.) Either way, it’s a pretty darn cute touch. 

Sam’s Taurus Judge (his “witch killer”) 

“For an unknown reason, Sam appears to prefer using this gun for firing witch-killing bullets rather than loading his regular pistol with them. In contrast, Dean uses his Colt M1911A1 for witch-killing bullets rather than employing a similar practice.” 

@supernaturalwiki, it’s because the witch-killing bullets Sam makes are .45 ACP, not .99mm. They wouldn’t fit in Sam’s normal Taurus PT92AFS. He makes them for Dean, so of course he makes them in a caliber that Dean prefers. 

Sam’s Taurus Judge is a close-quarters backup piece that fires five shots. This is just in case Dean (the better shot) isn’t able to take out the main threat. Hilariously, the Judge is a revolver that chambers both .45 ACP rounds and shotgun shells. This means Sam can load it up with rock-salt shells or witch-killing bullets or silver bullets. So you know. Whatever’s on the menu that day. 

Soulless!Sam’s Heckler & Koch Mk23

Sam switches over to this when he loses his soul, then switches back to his Taurus products when he gets his soul back. When Soulless!Sam and Sam!Sam fight in their vision quest, they fight Heckler & Koch vs Taurus. 

The Heckler & Koch Mk23 is designed to have the power of Dean’s 1911 and the carrying capacity of Sam’s .99mm handgun. So it’s huge, and very intimidating. It’s waterproof, crazy durable. It’s made by a fancy schmancy German defense contractor known for their precision engineering and their popularity with the special forces. H&K weapons are also known for being crazy expensive. This pistol would have set Sam back at least $2,000 (and for reference, you can get a Taurus PT92AFS for $500, easy.) So, either Soulless!Sam killed someone with a Mk23 and looted it, or somehow raised 2K very quickly. And I’m not even sure which option is more terrifying. 

But the Mk23 still has that vibe of practicality and caution that Sam seems drawn too. (’Over-prepared’ is a good word to describe it.) It’s still an in-character choice. Just, Soulless!Sam is more brusque and intimidating when he’s dealing with persons of interest, as opposed to Sam!Sam’s softer, more approachable manner. And I think those two attitudes are pretty well represented by the H&K Mk23 and the Taurus PT92AFS respectively. 

Interestingly, the H&K Mk23 does not fire Sam’s normal .99mm bullets. It fires the larger .45 ACP caliber rounds. And Soulless!Sam can get away with this because - I’m pretty sure Soulless!Sam is a much better shot than Sam!Sam. 

SAM: Ever since I came back, I am a better hunter than I’ve ever been! Nothing scares me anymore. ‘Cause I can’t feel it. 

Like again, why wouldn’t he be? Soulless!Sam is ice cold, steady heartbeat in a crisis. Marksmanship is a mental thing as much as it’s practice, and Soulless!Sam’s hands aren’t shaking. And that’s why he eventually switches back to his Taurus PT92AFS. It doesn’t matter if your shots are more powerful, if they don’t hit anything. 

(he still does have that H&K Mk23, though. He cleans it when he’s in a bad mental place. It’s not like he borrowed it from the Campbells or anything.) 

tl;dr

Dean uses big slow American bullets, because he’s a good enough shot to compensate. Sam uses little, accurate European bullets, and he uses a lot of them (because he’s cautious, and not quite as good as shot as his brother.) The witch-killing bullets Sam makes are a larger caliber, because he makes them for Dean. He’s got a little revolver that can take them, but he’d prefer it if he didn’t have to use it so much. 

Soulless!Sam is both a better shot, and not adverse to giant expensive German handguns acquired though less-than-legal means. So he switches over to a pistol that shoots giant bullets, and lots of them. 

(Also, disclaimer: I do not pretend to be a firearm expert. I’m just here to have fun.)

We should have some

Virginia Woolf, Orlando

one day, Cody embarrasses himself in front of his General badly enough that he decides the only solution is to fake his death, forcing everyone else in the battalion to refer to him as Commander Colby, Commander Cody's 'replacement'

little does he know that Obi-Wan can tell that Cody isn't really dead, but is just too polite to bring it up with Commander 'Colby' even though he doesn't quite understand why his Commander felt the need to go through this masquerade

until he accidentally reveals his knowledge a month later by accidentally referring to his 'new' Commander as Cody, then immediately recognizing his faux pas and apologizing profusely for 'dead-naming' his Commander

'Colby' is so mortified that his scheme was seen through that he immediately fakes his death again and returns as the miraculously-revived Cody, and swears everyone to secrecy about the matter

which, of course, means that the entire GAR knows about the incident within a standard week

while Rex is busy making sure that Cody never lives this down, Fox decides that the idea is genius and decides to replicate it himself on Coruscant whenever he thinks a Senator is starting to get too familiar with him

this is why there's so many different named Coruscant Guard Commanders: it's all Fox all the way down

the Chancellor is baffled by this, but can't let on that he's noticed Fox's charade without risking revealing that he can tell all of the 'different Commanders' he interacts with are the same man using the Force, so he is forced to play along