explorethekink

Latest Posts by explorethekink

Can I tell you a secret?

I was curious about the popularity of chastity because I felt that it was becoming more widespread lately. So I took a look at Google Trends and indeed, it is on the rise.

The term “cock cage” and “chastity cage” are being searched about 5-6 times as much as they were in 2006. This makes me happy. :D

364 days locked and counting 🔐

Re-blogs and original posts exploring the kinks lurking in The Hidden Recesses of My Mind - Princess Clover’s slave r

How To Control a Sub

. yournewkeyholder

How To Control a Sub

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

Make him shop for lingerie with you.

These tips are for Men who really want to control a sub and get off on it.  The important thing to remember is that there are a LOT of subs who crave this level of control, humiliation and punishment.  Many will not admit it but respond well to this type of treatment.  Men should not be afraid to exercise as much control over their subs as their time and energy allow.  Make no mistake it takes effort,   You have to want control.  The rewards are enormous.

Should fags be allowed to masturbate?

Not the way a Man does.  A faggot’s sex organ is his pussy.

I got a new mature metal cage!!!

And since it’s designed for externally long wear I thought I would have my first post where all of you decided the length!

This post has been up and will count till the end of Sunday.

1 like = 1 hour 1 reblog = 1 day

*special reward* Follow my other page = 3 days The page is @4gigglesandscreams

Everyone who reblogs this will get a personalized hypnotic erotic GIF based on what I see on your profile.

I will create the animation, post it on my blog and tag you. Feel free to put any kinks you want to share or any suggestions you need re-enforced in the tags or as a reblog text.

Well fuck…

Missed updates and drawing keys for a couple weeks, so I finally caught up with my keyholder.

Three weeks. Three sets of keys. None opened my cage, and that was the last of them.

It was all fun and games until now. No more keys to draw to unlock my cage. Apparently luck was not in my favor. A year at least. It feels like it might as well be permanently. I’m still trying to come to terms with it.

I’ve been locked up for just over 2 months now and I’m more horny and frustrated than I’ve ever been. I can’t even begin to imagine 10 more months like this.

Missed key day last week, so we did two sets of keys for both weeks today. I’m still locked up (going on two months now), and starting to go really crazy. And after four more keys destroyed, there aren’t very many keys left.

I’m wondering now if all the keys that unlock me are already gone. Perhaps my fate is already sealed and I just don’t know it yet… The suspense is almost driving me as crazy as the horniness. It’s starting to sink in that I might be locked up for a really long time. Here’s hoping I have better luck next week.

Chastity boys don’t get orgasms ever.

teaseanddenialcaptions:

I’m so sorry babe. I searched…

Missed a day at the gym last week, so two keys were still destroyed, but I didn’t get to try one to see if it unlocked me. My odds are dropping of getting unlocked now - less than 50%.

THE HYPNOFETISH TRUST PYRAMID

A BRIEF GUIDE TO A HEALTHY, KINKY HYPNOTIC RELATIONSHIP by FallingInward

For those of you new to the hypnosis kink scene, you may be eager to play and wonder “why should I care about all of this?” In short, it will not only make you a better hypnotist (or subject), but will allow you to establish a relationship in which your suggestions have more bang-for-your-buck. This guide is aimed more at hypnotists/dominants and assumes that you probably want to mix in some dominant / submissive play in with your hypnosis. Here I will outline a framework for a healthy relationship and why that is beneficial to exploring your kink. There are many concepts borrowed from the bdsm community that apply equally to a relationship between hypnotist and subject in a non-d/s context. You will notice that I talk a lot about aftercare – that’s because aftercare is one of the most important aspects of play, yet easily overlooked if you aren’t experienced yet.

TRUST = RELAXATION = HYPNOTIC POTENCY

Have you ever heard the saying “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”? It’s true, especially when it comes to hypnotism. Perhaps the single most important aspect of hypnotic suggestion is rapport, which is the degree of connection and trust between subject and hypnotist.

Many inductions involve relaxation because relaxation is one of several ways to bypass the “critical factor” (or “critical filter” as some call it), the mental processes people use to evaluate incoming information. Relaxation is just one a way of coaxing a subject to be less guarded with their thoughts, which works best if the subject already feels comfortable. Relaxation is not the only way, and if you are looking for a magic bullet to make your suggestions have that extra OOMF! then I’ll tell you what it is: TRUST. Trust is a surefire way to loosen up that critical factor and let your suggestions slip right in. But wait, there’s more! Trust also helps with relaxation, so you get a multiplier effect. After all, humans are social creatures. We keep our guard up to varying degrees when we interact with people, but this guard requires some amount of mental effort to maintain. We don’t think about it much, but if you’ve ever gone through a long job interview, or a party with people who you desperately needed to think well of you (in-laws, potential employers, etc.) then you know that watching every word you say and paying close attention to others is eventually draining.

It follows that removing the need to be guarded would allow the subject to become more relaxed naturally. The deeper the trust, the easier it becomes for a subject to go with the flow and to accept suggestions without critically evaluating them.

BENEVOLENT CONTROL

Are you someone who wants to use hypnosis in a dominant/submissive relationship with someone? Perhaps you have fantasies of an obedient servant, brainwashed pet, or mindless puppet? Maybe you would like to be one of those things?

Your best bet is to establish a safe, healthy relationship. I’ve seen the alternative in a few different communities now as both a community member and a moderator. Time and again I’ve seen predators seek out these fantasies by forcing themselves on unsuspecting victims or abusing trust, only to lose control and have those fantasies crumble when the submissive runs away.

It is self-defeating to exhibit short-term selfishness in a context where you could get more by being mutualistic or caring. If you want to control someone, especially hypnotically, one of the best way is with trust. And the best way to build trust is – I know this is shocking – be trustworthy. Trust me, this is one of the rare situations in life where you can have your cake and eat it, too. It takes a little more time, but the payoff is way more satisfying. A trusting, healthy relationship is more likely to last longer, which means that you will have more time to assert your control and reinforce your suggestions. Bam! Potency. Perhaps you are a sadist and you really want to cause pain or discomfort. Guess what? This applies double to you. A submissive in a healthy, trusting relationship is going to be able to endure a lot more torment without ditching you, and some of the most masochistic people out there are just waiting to find someone they can trust to push them slowly but surely past their current limits, the right way. All it takes is genuinely caring about your partner; if you do things right, you can break them over, and over, and over again.

Regardless of the type of play you enjoy, you are a lot more likely to achieve those deep levels of control if your partner is comfortable within that control.

THE PYRAMID

I’ve broken down some common elements that can be used to establish a safe, trusting relationship. This is by no means a definitive guide, and I have seen many variations. The key is making sure that you and your partner understand and consent to the nature of your relationship.

Level 1: Humanity

Even if you are someone who is really into objectifying, humiliating, or degrading your partner in a scene, outside of the scene the best way to establish trust is to rigidly uphold their basic humanity. This means:

Communication - Talk about what you are going to do and how you are going to do it.

Consent - Make sure your partner consents with what you are going to do.

Consensual Non-consent (con non-con) means agreeing in advance to a conditions when someone is permitted to ignore the usual rules of consent, perhaps including commands to stop. In these cases, it is common to establish safe words, or signals for when play has gone too far (for instance say ‘yellow’ to slow down and talk, or say ‘red’ to stop immediately)

Dubious Consent (dubcon) means not getting explicit consent for certain actions. This can be dangerous unless you have a high degree of trust and all participants are very aware of their partners’ preferences. When dealing with dubcon, someone in a dominant position must be hyper-aware of the condition of their submissive(s) to ensure that what they are doing is acceptable. Dubcon is more common when dealing with play that the involved parties have done with each other in the past, so there are pre-existing expectations. Be careful: just because someone has consented in the past does not mean that they are comfortable with the same actions in the present.

Safety - Be aware of risks in your play. Ideally, any danger to the physical or mental health of your partner should be known in advance and precautions put into place. This does not necessarily mean that your partner knows the details of all the actions involved in play – if your consent arrangement allows leeway for surprises and creativity. In these situations, it is the dominant’s responsibility to account for potential risks. In hypnotic play, the most likely form of harm is psychological. This can include mitigating abreactions, dealing with poorly worded or misinterpreted suggestions, or managing stress associated with high-intensity play (burnouts and crashes).

Safety doesn’t mean that no harm will occur. If harm is likely, “risk-aware” consent is important.

If you are an amateur hypnotist, be careful when you attempt new kinds of play. Don’t be afraid to ask more experienced hypnotists for advice before trying something new. Some types of play are more dangerous than others. In particular, I would advise against personality play (creating artificial personas, especially named ones) and other play that has the potential for long-lasting side effects.

If you get in over your head, seek professional help. This is the same as going to a doctor if something goes wrong in a physical bdsm scene. If you are not trained in psychological treatment, don’t be afraid to take your partner to a professional.

Aftercare, Aftercare, AFTERCARE - Opening your mind to someone can be an intense experience, especially if it was with the intention of being controlled or manipulated. Even if every part of your session was PERFECT, the subject may still feel vulnerable, uncertain, or confused. The best thing you can do is BE there and show you care. If your subject has been under for a long time, make sure to ask them whether they need to use the restroom or get a drink of water, etc. as it is easy to lose track of basic needs after an intense or deep hypnotic experience. Help your subject recenter their consciousness around their self and physical body.

Respect - Your partner is a living, breathing human being and deserves to be treated as such, regardless of the nature of your play. This means that they deserve input into the play, and they have the right to a fulfilling relationship with you. (Submissive’s Bill of Rights)

Level 2: Friendship

I’ve seen some people who put d/s relationship before friendship. It’s possible, but from everything I’ve seen, putting friendship first gets better, longer-lasting results.

Mutualism - Both you and your partner should be getting some kind of fulfillment out of your interactions. Even if you are someone who is into being used or abused, there should be something about the experience that makes you want to continue the relationship. All parties involved have the right to mutual benefit, even if it is wrapped in the guise of exploitation for the purpose of a scene.

Caring - Showing that you genuinely care about your partner’s safety and fulfillment serves as a powerful base for the rest of your interactions. Even if you are a total ego-maniac, I can assure you; it is definitely a point worthy of pride to care what happens to your partner. If you are truly in control, you can provide an experience that is good for both of you. Wear your caring like a badge of honor; it puts you above the people who don’t.

Trust - If you have maintained all of these other crucial aspects of interaction, you might be worthy of your partner’s trust. Trust is both earned and given; some partners may require more effort on your part to establish a trusting relationship, especially if they have had their trust broken by someone in the past. Trust is also two-way; are you willing to put your trust in them? It will be easier for your partner to trust you if you are able to do the same. Here are some possible ways to encourage trust:

Respecting Limits - If you play often with someone, chances are that you will encounter one of their limits. Knowing when to slow down or stop can help your partner be more comfortable with more extreme forms of play because they have seen first-hand that you will respect their limits.

Consistent Responsibility - If you take your time and start with lower-risk or lower-intensity play, you can show your partner that you are responsible consistently. This goes a long way to building trust, and prepares your relationship for more intense play later.

Switching - Switching is when you and your partner reverse roles. In this context, it could mean them hypnotizing you, perhaps even in a dominant context. Switching can give you insight into your partner’s feelings, experiences and preferences. If you are typically dominant, experiencing submission or showing vulnerability can go along way to gaining trust with your primary partner, even if you are switching with someone else entirely. It takes a strong person to be in control all the time, but an even stronger person to be comfortable in situations when they are not in control! If switching isn’t for you, that’s fine, but many subjects will feel safer with someone who has been in their position. It also helps with your abilities as a hypnotist and/or dominant to understand the position of the subject/submissive.

Level 3: Play Relationship

At this point we are talking about the relationship between you and your partner(s) as hypnotist/subject, dominant/submissive, or switching partners. Now that you have built a strong foundation, you can define how you want to interact with each other!

Expectations - What do you expect from your partner(s) and what do they expect from you? This will be unique for every relationship, so communication is key. Here are some examples of common topics in the hypnofetish community:

Nature of the Relationship - Is this a romantic relationship? A sexual one? Is it purely play with no strings attached? Define what you are hoping to get out of this, and negotiate these with your partner. Do you want to involve titles like “Mistress” or “Sir”? Do you expect an ‘ownership’ relationship in the d/s sense?

Exclusivity - Do you expect the other person to be an exclusive partner or do they expect that from you? Do you have any pre-existing relationships? Are you expecting a casual relationship or committed?

Roles - Do you expect to always be the top/dominant? Do you expect to always be the submissive? Is switching okay? If so, in what context? Some people are okay with certain roles, but only in certain context or with certain caveats. For instance, it is common for switches to dislike being dominated by someone who does not recognize that they have a dominant side.

Time Commitment - How often do you and your partner want to play? Do your schedules align? Are any times NOT okay for playing? Is there a minimum amount of interaction you are comfortable with? A maximum?

Boundaries of Play - For those of you familiar with game design theory, this would be called the “magic circle”. This means the context in which you play, and which rules/expectations are applicable in that context. These could be a time, a place, or perhaps the mood of the participants. It could also mean defining safe words that mean “this is NOT a time to play.” If you have a d/s relationship, determine whether this relationship is in full effect all the time, or only at specific times. Some examples:

“When is it okay to hypnotize you?”

“Can I do subtle suggestions when we are talking to make you more ‘in the mood’ to play?”

“I don’t mind calling you ‘Mistress’ out of respect, but I won’t do it in front of my parents or coworkers”

“When I come home from work, it is important that you don’t play with me until you’ve made sure I didn’t have a really bad day.”

“I’ve really enjoyed our play, and I would like you to be my full-time subject. That would mean following any order at any time.”

“Well, that interests me, but there are certain orders that aren’t okay at certain times. However, I could definitely agree to always call you ‘master’ and to always follow orders that don’t disrupt my daily life or harm me.”

Types of Play - Are there any experiences or kinks you really want to incorporate into your play? How about your partner? Where are the overlaps? Is there anything new you want to try? Which things are definitely okay, maybe okay, or definitely NOT okay? Examples:

“It’s okay for you to do memory play, but please let me remember everything after we’re done for the day.”

“I’m okay with you using NLP to give me covert suggestions, but only if we agreed on those kinds of suggestions in advance.”

“I really like being turned into a cow hypnotically, but please no lactation stuff.”

Responsibility - What are the responsibilities you have in the relationship? Very often, a hypnotist/dominant’s responsibilities include preparation, safety, and aftercare. A subject’s responsibilities could include giving feedback, being self-aware about potential problems, and making sure that their interpretations of commands and suggestions meet expectations (example: A dominant could make it clear to a subject that certain suggestions or commands are supposed to be ignored if the play is interrupted. Many experienced hypnosubs are able to do emergency removal of suggestions like this; a great safety skill to work on!)

Example dominant / hypnotist responsibilities:

Researching new techniques before trying them

Preparing a scene

Providing emergency contact info in case a suggestion has unwanted lasting side effects and the subject needs help.

Setting up safety precautions during a session/scene (like “if your boss talks to you, all these suggestions will stop effecting you instantly”)

Aftercare - Always always always always set aside an appropriate amount of time to help your subject recover after a session. If you aren’t sure how much time this should be, play it safe and schedule more! With hypnosis involved, especially with deep trances, sometimes it takes a while for a subject to recover to a point where they can function normally. This can potentially be scary if the subject is left alone during this time. The ‘tist should be available to help the subject return to a “normal” state of mind, and to provide comfort if the subject is feeling particularly vulnerable, scared, or drained after the experience.

Example subject / submissive responsibilities (For bonus fun, these can be given by a dominant as commands if that is the nature of your relationship!)

“It is important that you always tell me if you are scared.”

“Don’t accept any suggestion that would cause you permanent harm” - This one should also be reinforced hypnotically as a safety precaution

“I expect you to never lie about whether a session was a positive experience.”

Level 4: Scene

Now that you’ve defined your relationship, desires, interests, etc. It’s time to play! In bdsm terms, the scene is the context within which you play – the time, place, and types of play you engage in.

Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to draw a line about where/when the scene begins and ends, so it’s fine to define limits and definitions like “I want to worship you as a goddess when we are playing, but I don’t think of you that way when we aren’t in a scene – you are just my close friend.” or “I want you to make me into a dumb bimbo tonight, but please treat me as an intelligent person afterwards.”

There are so many types of hypnotic play that I couldn’t possibly cover them, so have fun experimenting!

And the game continues…

Another week, and two more keys gone, with me still locked up. My keyholder looked through all the remaining keys and said there was only one left that opens my cage. So I guess I’m glad I still have a chance to get unlocked, but it also means that the other one was drawn by him and already destroyed. So the question is who will draw the last one?

The Difference Between A Submissive and a Needy Bottom

It’s time for a little conversation.

I’ve been getting a lot of messages. And I think it’s important that we define some structure. There needs to be a better understanding of submission. In fact, if you ask me why I do not have a boy right now, the most common answer is geography and because the boys in my area frustrate the hell out of me.

Why do they frustrate me you might ask? Because for many of them their concept of submission is a rough fuck. Sex and dominance are mutually exclusive. There are deeply sexual elements. Our hormones are at a very high level. We have primal need that engage in in these moments. But we do not need to engage in intercourse to express our dominant and submissive attributes.

So when you message me, and your first comment to me is that you me to fuck you, my immediate thought is that you are just a hungry bottom and not a submissive. You are more concerned with your needs and desires than understanding what I means to be submissive. You just want to get something you want.

I am not saying that when you have a positive interaction with a dominant you cannot beg him to fuck you. Most boys do. However, they do so because they have earned that right to appeal to the Man.

Remember a submissive means bring joy to a Dominant. It means being their for him. It means making him feel good because doing something for another makes you feel good. You feel balanced. You feel connected.

If you want to express yourself as a submissive. Your first thought (or message) should be, what can I do to make him happy?

The game continues...

The fourth week and still locked up. A third of the keys are now gone. I’m so horny I had a wet dream in my sleep last night. Very sexy dream, and I woke up to cum everywhere on my cage. It relieves the pressure in my balls, but does nothing to relieve how horny and frustrated I am.

Can’t wait until next week to try my luck again. Not sure how I’m going to handle it if I don’t get the key… I’m not sure how I can stand being locked up for that long.

The game continues

Three weeks down. Six keys destroyed. Still locked up. Getting so very horny. And now all I can think about is what if both keys that unlock me are already gone?

Principles and ground rules for the slave

A slave is:

obedient;

respectful;

humble;

submissive;

well-presented;

punctual, and;

productive.

Ground Rules

1. Know your place.  Your Owner, other Dominant men, and all men less submissive than you, are your superiors. Even if you dislike them personally or disagree with what they say, you will acknowledge their superiority at all times.

This does not mean doing anything you are told by anyone, but it does mean raising any objections in a respectful way; check with your Owner if in doubt.

2. It’s HIS decision. You may query an order if you need to find out more information or you need to make sure your Owner knows all the facts. You don’t get to disobey or ignore an order on the grounds that you think you know better. Your Owner always knows better than you.

3. Bulk up, boy. Go to the gym as often as possible, work out hard, take your supplements. The more muscle you have, the more valuable a piece of meat you are to your Owner.

4. Slaves don’t cum. Your cock should be locked in its cage for every moment that it’s practical. Whenever it’s not practical, hands off it! The purpose of all sexual and bdsm activities is the pleasure and amusement of your superiors. You can touch your cock to clean it, put it in its cage, or if told to touch it by your Owner. You cannot touch it to pleasure yourself.

The cage will always be worn when you’re engaged in any sexual activity with another man. The one exception is your current vanilla partner. Even in this situation, you will only orgasm if that is his express wish. You will make it clear that cumming is not your preferred option.

You’ll report any orgasm to your Owner for him to decide if you obeyed this rule.

5. Total. Submissive. Bottom. Firstly, stop all pretence of being in any way sexually versatile. Superiors fuck, you get fucked. You pleasure their cocks with your holes. Secondly, you never, ever attempt to dominate another man. Your fundamental nature is completely submissive - be true to it always.

Your Owner can decide who gets to use you, when and how.

6. Wear your collar. Wear visible evidence of your slavery wherever and whenever possible. The chain and lock should be worn whenever it is unlikely to seriously upset those around you, cause a work problem or place you in harm’s way.

You will wear the chain and lock as a rule, removing it as the exception. You’ll report the exceptions to your Owner for him to decide whether it really needed to be removed.

7. Make it obvious. In addition to your chain, you’ll dress in ways that draw attention to your body and accentuate your status as a muscle-jock slave. If in doubt, go for slutty. When possible, go for fetish. In short, do everything you can to make it easy for superior men to sexually objectify you and identify you as the submissive muscle slut you are.

The exceptions to this are situations where dressing this way would cause undue upset to your friends or family, or risk your employment. Report exceptions to your Owner so he can decide if they’re genuine or not.

8. Slaves have tits. Take any and every opportunity to encourage superior men - both strangers and open-minded friends - to play with them. 

Make your tits grow, but keep them sensitive and supple. Take proper care of them.

9. You will change. You will cooperate with your Owner to change you in physical and mental ways that make you a better slave. Some changes may be temporary, some will not be. You may become a dumb beast fit only for menial labour, sex, pain and entertainment by the time this process is done, never doubt that is a good thing for you to be.

Humiliation public and private, physical trials, hypnotic conditioning, new rules governing behaviour more closely, or more subtle manipulation may play a part. Embrace this process, accept its inevitability - and cooperate fully. Suggest to your Owner anything you think would help make you more humble and less human.

10. Always be honest. If you break a rule, report it to your Owner immediately. If you feel doubt or worry about something he’s told you to do, respectfully communicate that doubt to him straight away. You can have no secrets from him.

So, would you like to play a game?

This is the lock that is on my new cage. Only two of these keys open the lock, the rest do not. Now that I am locked up, my keyholder is playing a game with me.

Every week, if I go to the gym and meet my goals, I get to draw one of the 24 keys and see if it opens my cage. If so, I’m free and can play with my dick again. He is also going to draw one of the keys and shred it without trying it on my lock. However, if I don’t go to the gym, he destroys both keys instead of letting me try one first.

So at best, I have a 50/50 chance of getting unlocked sometime in the next three months. Otherwise the keys will be gone, and I’m not going to get unlocked for quite a long time (at least a year).

I’m both excited and scared. And I imagine I’ll be going crazy as the number of keys gets lower and lower. Stay tuned.

Creative Chastity

I have had some mixed results with locking up a boy’s cock in a cage. For some, their cocks had been too large to comfortably fit into the cage. Some boys tried it and found metal and plastic cages just too uncomfortable. For one boy, he figured out that he could actually slip out of it at any time.

Having a lot of those troublesome experiences has lead me to the conclusion that there are people who just find the idea hot but it loses its luster in the execution. Conversely, the chastity players who have really found meaning in it, for whom it’s become a daily part of their life whether or not a Sir is their keyholder, find ways to make it work. And that is the key. Find how to make chastity work for you and understand and accept that your chastity play may not look exactly like what’s on tumblr, but is valid nonetheless if it gives you what you want to get out of the experience.

I write this article for readers who are interested in chastity but are having some difficulty with the standard lock and key. When the standard approach gets difficult, it’s time to get creative to find a way to make chastity play work for you!

- Shorter goals: The first adaptation to chastity play to make your goals more doable is simply to make the locked periods shorter. The denial makes the eventual orgasm sweeter anyways. You will see many players online bragging about the length of time they can stay locked. If that’s what gets them off more power to them, but if you just want to experience some denial for awhile and enjoy having sexual feelings enhanced due to the horny build up of not orgasming… then does it really matter if you’re locked till the weekend or till 2050? Hell, you may even eventually find a sweet spot where you stay locked up (for example) for 3 months at a time and that’s what works best for you. Your dominant might tease “Oh man, 2 more weeks till you’re out boy. It’s been a long 2.5 months so far. Remember when we watched porn each night for a week before bed? Good times.” If shorter goals are enjoyable and you get the experience out of it you want, DO WHAT WORKS.

- Key willpower: When the length of the goal isn’t an issue, often willpower is the big obstacle. Being so horny makes it hard to make the decision to stay locked. Where willpower is an issue dominants are often not involved in a chastity player’s life. The purpose of sealing away the key is to provide an obstacle which while not insurmountable gives you sufficient pause to reassert your willpower. There are two pretty reliable options:

Envelope: Put the key in an envelope, seal it, give it to a friend, and tell them to give it back to you in a week. If they ask about it you can make something up if you like. One of the favorite stories a submissive told his buddy was that he’d put a credit card in there he wanted to not be tempted to use until date X. His friend was more than happy to hold onto the key to the box with his credit card in it without ever realizing what the key actually unlocked.

Timed safe: This sounds like a much more expensive option than it is. One of the safes that have been making the rounds lately is a safe for kitchen use to help control temptations. I’ll include a link at the end of this section. You can just toss the key inside and set a time limit. The safes are about $55 so they’re not impossible to save for, but they’re also expensive enough for you to probably think twice before shattering it to get the key.

http://www.amazon.com/Kitchen-Safe-Locking-Container-Height/dp/B00E92JXHG

- Comfort: The holy trainer (link at the end) and metal cages are the two most comfortable cage types. If you are interested in a holy trainer, please consider that first off there will be some international shipping involved which is unsurprisingly expensive. Additionally, I the official website DOES NOT accept opened products for return. Be certain you get the right size before you order it. In light of that, I strongly suggest you take a trip to a sex store in your city or a local kinkster event and get fitted for a cage the first time you get one. You may have more options there in terms of what you can buy a sales person who can give advice, and the opportunity to talk about how active you’ll be in it, or some of the issues with comfort you’ve had. Lastly, if you aren’t already aware, chastity cages are generally most comfortable when you have little to no hair while wearing them as it reduces the likelihood of getting pinched or having hair pulled.

http://www.holytrainer.com/en/male-chastity-device.asp

- Sir’s orders: When Sirs are involved with chastity play, you can have a Sir leave you unlocked but absolutely forbid access to your own genitals without his supervision. I have been surprised how well this works for some people. They simply needed to be told no and that was all it took.

- My grip: When a dominant is in charge of orgasms, you may also find that Sir will do the masturbation for you. When I’ve offered this choice, I restrain the submissive’s hands (and in some cases legs) add a little baby oil, and stroke until they cum and then just keep going. They can orgasm in exchange for continuing to be stroked after orgasm. If I’m feeling generous, I’ll offer them mercy in exchange for something later on of my choosing. It should be of no surprise to anyone that mercy is almost never worth it later on but it still gets chosen fairly often.