Explorethekink - Exploring My Kinky Side

THE HYPNOFETISH TRUST PYRAMID

A BRIEF GUIDE TO A HEALTHY, KINKY HYPNOTIC RELATIONSHIP by FallingInward

For those of you new to the hypnosis kink scene, you may be eager to play and wonder “why should I care about all of this?” In short, it will not only make you a better hypnotist (or subject), but will allow you to establish a relationship in which your suggestions have more bang-for-your-buck. This guide is aimed more at hypnotists/dominants and assumes that you probably want to mix in some dominant / submissive play in with your hypnosis. Here I will outline a framework for a healthy relationship and why that is beneficial to exploring your kink. There are many concepts borrowed from the bdsm community that apply equally to a relationship between hypnotist and subject in a non-d/s context. You will notice that I talk a lot about aftercare – that’s because aftercare is one of the most important aspects of play, yet easily overlooked if you aren’t experienced yet.

TRUST = RELAXATION = HYPNOTIC POTENCY

Have you ever heard the saying “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar”? It’s true, especially when it comes to hypnotism. Perhaps the single most important aspect of hypnotic suggestion is rapport, which is the degree of connection and trust between subject and hypnotist.

Many inductions involve relaxation because relaxation is one of several ways to bypass the “critical factor” (or “critical filter” as some call it), the mental processes people use to evaluate incoming information. Relaxation is just one a way of coaxing a subject to be less guarded with their thoughts, which works best if the subject already feels comfortable. Relaxation is not the only way, and if you are looking for a magic bullet to make your suggestions have that extra OOMF! then I’ll tell you what it is: TRUST. Trust is a surefire way to loosen up that critical factor and let your suggestions slip right in. But wait, there’s more! Trust also helps with relaxation, so you get a multiplier effect. After all, humans are social creatures. We keep our guard up to varying degrees when we interact with people, but this guard requires some amount of mental effort to maintain. We don’t think about it much, but if you’ve ever gone through a long job interview, or a party with people who you desperately needed to think well of you (in-laws, potential employers, etc.) then you know that watching every word you say and paying close attention to others is eventually draining.

It follows that removing the need to be guarded would allow the subject to become more relaxed naturally. The deeper the trust, the easier it becomes for a subject to go with the flow and to accept suggestions without critically evaluating them.

BENEVOLENT CONTROL

Are you someone who wants to use hypnosis in a dominant/submissive relationship with someone? Perhaps you have fantasies of an obedient servant, brainwashed pet, or mindless puppet? Maybe you would like to be one of those things?

Your best bet is to establish a safe, healthy relationship. I’ve seen the alternative in a few different communities now as both a community member and a moderator. Time and again I’ve seen predators seek out these fantasies by forcing themselves on unsuspecting victims or abusing trust, only to lose control and have those fantasies crumble when the submissive runs away.

It is self-defeating to exhibit short-term selfishness in a context where you could get more by being mutualistic or caring. If you want to control someone, especially hypnotically, one of the best way is with trust. And the best way to build trust is – I know this is shocking – be trustworthy. Trust me, this is one of the rare situations in life where you can have your cake and eat it, too. It takes a little more time, but the payoff is way more satisfying. A trusting, healthy relationship is more likely to last longer, which means that you will have more time to assert your control and reinforce your suggestions. Bam! Potency. Perhaps you are a sadist and you really want to cause pain or discomfort. Guess what? This applies double to you. A submissive in a healthy, trusting relationship is going to be able to endure a lot more torment without ditching you, and some of the most masochistic people out there are just waiting to find someone they can trust to push them slowly but surely past their current limits, the right way. All it takes is genuinely caring about your partner; if you do things right, you can break them over, and over, and over again.

Regardless of the type of play you enjoy, you are a lot more likely to achieve those deep levels of control if your partner is comfortable within that control.

THE PYRAMID

I’ve broken down some common elements that can be used to establish a safe, trusting relationship. This is by no means a definitive guide, and I have seen many variations. The key is making sure that you and your partner understand and consent to the nature of your relationship.

Level 1: Humanity

Even if you are someone who is really into objectifying, humiliating, or degrading your partner in a scene, outside of the scene the best way to establish trust is to rigidly uphold their basic humanity. This means:

Communication - Talk about what you are going to do and how you are going to do it.

Consent - Make sure your partner consents with what you are going to do.

Consensual Non-consent (con non-con) means agreeing in advance to a conditions when someone is permitted to ignore the usual rules of consent, perhaps including commands to stop. In these cases, it is common to establish safe words, or signals for when play has gone too far (for instance say ‘yellow’ to slow down and talk, or say ‘red’ to stop immediately)

Dubious Consent (dubcon) means not getting explicit consent for certain actions. This can be dangerous unless you have a high degree of trust and all participants are very aware of their partners’ preferences. When dealing with dubcon, someone in a dominant position must be hyper-aware of the condition of their submissive(s) to ensure that what they are doing is acceptable. Dubcon is more common when dealing with play that the involved parties have done with each other in the past, so there are pre-existing expectations. Be careful: just because someone has consented in the past does not mean that they are comfortable with the same actions in the present.

Safety - Be aware of risks in your play. Ideally, any danger to the physical or mental health of your partner should be known in advance and precautions put into place. This does not necessarily mean that your partner knows the details of all the actions involved in play – if your consent arrangement allows leeway for surprises and creativity. In these situations, it is the dominant’s responsibility to account for potential risks. In hypnotic play, the most likely form of harm is psychological. This can include mitigating abreactions, dealing with poorly worded or misinterpreted suggestions, or managing stress associated with high-intensity play (burnouts and crashes).

Safety doesn’t mean that no harm will occur. If harm is likely, “risk-aware” consent is important.

If you are an amateur hypnotist, be careful when you attempt new kinds of play. Don’t be afraid to ask more experienced hypnotists for advice before trying something new. Some types of play are more dangerous than others. In particular, I would advise against personality play (creating artificial personas, especially named ones) and other play that has the potential for long-lasting side effects.

If you get in over your head, seek professional help. This is the same as going to a doctor if something goes wrong in a physical bdsm scene. If you are not trained in psychological treatment, don’t be afraid to take your partner to a professional.

Aftercare, Aftercare, AFTERCARE - Opening your mind to someone can be an intense experience, especially if it was with the intention of being controlled or manipulated. Even if every part of your session was PERFECT, the subject may still feel vulnerable, uncertain, or confused. The best thing you can do is BE there and show you care. If your subject has been under for a long time, make sure to ask them whether they need to use the restroom or get a drink of water, etc. as it is easy to lose track of basic needs after an intense or deep hypnotic experience. Help your subject recenter their consciousness around their self and physical body.

Respect - Your partner is a living, breathing human being and deserves to be treated as such, regardless of the nature of your play. This means that they deserve input into the play, and they have the right to a fulfilling relationship with you. (Submissive’s Bill of Rights)

Level 2: Friendship

I’ve seen some people who put d/s relationship before friendship. It’s possible, but from everything I’ve seen, putting friendship first gets better, longer-lasting results.

Mutualism - Both you and your partner should be getting some kind of fulfillment out of your interactions. Even if you are someone who is into being used or abused, there should be something about the experience that makes you want to continue the relationship. All parties involved have the right to mutual benefit, even if it is wrapped in the guise of exploitation for the purpose of a scene.

Caring - Showing that you genuinely care about your partner’s safety and fulfillment serves as a powerful base for the rest of your interactions. Even if you are a total ego-maniac, I can assure you; it is definitely a point worthy of pride to care what happens to your partner. If you are truly in control, you can provide an experience that is good for both of you. Wear your caring like a badge of honor; it puts you above the people who don’t.

Trust - If you have maintained all of these other crucial aspects of interaction, you might be worthy of your partner’s trust. Trust is both earned and given; some partners may require more effort on your part to establish a trusting relationship, especially if they have had their trust broken by someone in the past. Trust is also two-way; are you willing to put your trust in them? It will be easier for your partner to trust you if you are able to do the same. Here are some possible ways to encourage trust:

Respecting Limits - If you play often with someone, chances are that you will encounter one of their limits. Knowing when to slow down or stop can help your partner be more comfortable with more extreme forms of play because they have seen first-hand that you will respect their limits.

Consistent Responsibility - If you take your time and start with lower-risk or lower-intensity play, you can show your partner that you are responsible consistently. This goes a long way to building trust, and prepares your relationship for more intense play later.

Switching - Switching is when you and your partner reverse roles. In this context, it could mean them hypnotizing you, perhaps even in a dominant context. Switching can give you insight into your partner’s feelings, experiences and preferences. If you are typically dominant, experiencing submission or showing vulnerability can go along way to gaining trust with your primary partner, even if you are switching with someone else entirely. It takes a strong person to be in control all the time, but an even stronger person to be comfortable in situations when they are not in control! If switching isn’t for you, that’s fine, but many subjects will feel safer with someone who has been in their position. It also helps with your abilities as a hypnotist and/or dominant to understand the position of the subject/submissive.

Level 3: Play Relationship

At this point we are talking about the relationship between you and your partner(s) as hypnotist/subject, dominant/submissive, or switching partners. Now that you have built a strong foundation, you can define how you want to interact with each other!

Expectations - What do you expect from your partner(s) and what do they expect from you? This will be unique for every relationship, so communication is key. Here are some examples of common topics in the hypnofetish community:

Nature of the Relationship - Is this a romantic relationship? A sexual one? Is it purely play with no strings attached? Define what you are hoping to get out of this, and negotiate these with your partner. Do you want to involve titles like “Mistress” or “Sir”? Do you expect an ‘ownership’ relationship in the d/s sense?

Exclusivity - Do you expect the other person to be an exclusive partner or do they expect that from you? Do you have any pre-existing relationships? Are you expecting a casual relationship or committed?

Roles - Do you expect to always be the top/dominant? Do you expect to always be the submissive? Is switching okay? If so, in what context? Some people are okay with certain roles, but only in certain context or with certain caveats. For instance, it is common for switches to dislike being dominated by someone who does not recognize that they have a dominant side.

Time Commitment - How often do you and your partner want to play? Do your schedules align? Are any times NOT okay for playing? Is there a minimum amount of interaction you are comfortable with? A maximum?

Boundaries of Play - For those of you familiar with game design theory, this would be called the “magic circle”. This means the context in which you play, and which rules/expectations are applicable in that context. These could be a time, a place, or perhaps the mood of the participants. It could also mean defining safe words that mean “this is NOT a time to play.” If you have a d/s relationship, determine whether this relationship is in full effect all the time, or only at specific times. Some examples:

“When is it okay to hypnotize you?”

“Can I do subtle suggestions when we are talking to make you more ‘in the mood’ to play?”

“I don’t mind calling you ‘Mistress’ out of respect, but I won’t do it in front of my parents or coworkers”

“When I come home from work, it is important that you don’t play with me until you’ve made sure I didn’t have a really bad day.”

“I’ve really enjoyed our play, and I would like you to be my full-time subject. That would mean following any order at any time.”

“Well, that interests me, but there are certain orders that aren’t okay at certain times. However, I could definitely agree to always call you ‘master’ and to always follow orders that don’t disrupt my daily life or harm me.”

Types of Play - Are there any experiences or kinks you really want to incorporate into your play? How about your partner? Where are the overlaps? Is there anything new you want to try? Which things are definitely okay, maybe okay, or definitely NOT okay? Examples:

“It’s okay for you to do memory play, but please let me remember everything after we’re done for the day.”

“I’m okay with you using NLP to give me covert suggestions, but only if we agreed on those kinds of suggestions in advance.”

“I really like being turned into a cow hypnotically, but please no lactation stuff.”

Responsibility - What are the responsibilities you have in the relationship? Very often, a hypnotist/dominant’s responsibilities include preparation, safety, and aftercare. A subject’s responsibilities could include giving feedback, being self-aware about potential problems, and making sure that their interpretations of commands and suggestions meet expectations (example: A dominant could make it clear to a subject that certain suggestions or commands are supposed to be ignored if the play is interrupted. Many experienced hypnosubs are able to do emergency removal of suggestions like this; a great safety skill to work on!)

Example dominant / hypnotist responsibilities:

Researching new techniques before trying them

Preparing a scene

Providing emergency contact info in case a suggestion has unwanted lasting side effects and the subject needs help.

Setting up safety precautions during a session/scene (like “if your boss talks to you, all these suggestions will stop effecting you instantly”)

Aftercare - Always always always always set aside an appropriate amount of time to help your subject recover after a session. If you aren’t sure how much time this should be, play it safe and schedule more! With hypnosis involved, especially with deep trances, sometimes it takes a while for a subject to recover to a point where they can function normally. This can potentially be scary if the subject is left alone during this time. The ‘tist should be available to help the subject return to a “normal” state of mind, and to provide comfort if the subject is feeling particularly vulnerable, scared, or drained after the experience.

Example subject / submissive responsibilities (For bonus fun, these can be given by a dominant as commands if that is the nature of your relationship!)

“It is important that you always tell me if you are scared.”

“Don’t accept any suggestion that would cause you permanent harm” - This one should also be reinforced hypnotically as a safety precaution

“I expect you to never lie about whether a session was a positive experience.”

Level 4: Scene

Now that you’ve defined your relationship, desires, interests, etc. It’s time to play! In bdsm terms, the scene is the context within which you play – the time, place, and types of play you engage in.

Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to draw a line about where/when the scene begins and ends, so it’s fine to define limits and definitions like “I want to worship you as a goddess when we are playing, but I don’t think of you that way when we aren’t in a scene – you are just my close friend.” or “I want you to make me into a dumb bimbo tonight, but please treat me as an intelligent person afterwards.”

There are so many types of hypnotic play that I couldn’t possibly cover them, so have fun experimenting!

Adding some more time

Just locked my cock up and haven’t came since last night. I don’t know how long I should lock up for so I’m going to let tumblr decide! For every reblog this gets I’ll add 12 hours and for every like I’ll add 6 hours. My max I’m willing to do right now is 2 weeks. If I get...

Sergei SOVKOV

Rusia

http://createartgallery.blogspot.com.ar/2009/12/erotic-painting-sergey-sovkov.html

https://sergeysovkov.see.me/atts2012

Words to live by

Chastity - The Red Pill Version

I didn’t write this, I found this on FetLife and it perfectly encapsulates what Chastity is about for me and in the context of my Master/slave relationship. This is the reality of it for those of us who live it 24/7/365.

OK, so this is not really intended as a rant, but it may come across that way and if so I appologize. For you Matrix fans, if you read this your going to get the red pill version of what male chastity is about. Male submissives (and oddly enough, maybe even a few Dom’s) have fantasies and a fascination with chastity. I see it in my feed all the time. These posters seem to consist mostly of two groups. Those who have it, and those who want it. Those who have it, do it mostly alone. Looking forlornly for that special key holder who will keep them locked up and add that mystique of power and control to their self serving fetish of orgasm denial. Those who want it, daydream about what it must be like, how cool it would be, and are fascinated with the devices that inflict it. There is a 3rd group, those who live it. You don’t see them in the feed, because we don’t talk about it much. The fantasy is long past, and reality is where we hang out (or not so much as the case may be! LOL).

I’ve been locked up for a decade. That is to say, I live in chastity 24 X 7 X 360 give or take a week. I do everything in it, and so does my not so pretty alter self, who toils mercilessly to earn money so that I can spend it! :) I can speak with authority on the subject as well as anyone, and feel that since there is such a lack of real information on the subject out there, I’d post this for posterity.

So this message is for those of you in groups 1 and 2. Here is the reality of where you are going if you should get there.

Truth #1 There is no such thing as a truely secure device. Face it. Your male. You have a God given talent to know how to use a screw driver, a saw, a blow torch… whatever. No matter how you try to lock yourself up, there are only various levels of difficulty to obtaining an orgasm. I read constantly “what is the best device” or “gee, I better try something else, I keep getting out”. Well no shit dingledick! You keep trying! There is only ONE truely secure chastity device, and it is your MIND. More specifically, that special relationship you have with a Dominant partner. You wear that thing because of truth #2, and you don’t TRY to get out.

Truth #2 When your Dom(me) locks you up, you damned well had better stay that way! And no cheating either. No trying to cum with a Q-tip, or whatever ingenious bullshit idea you’ve come up with to sneak an orgasm. Chastity is not a game. It is a COMMITMENT! Those of you who lock yourselves up, are just playing a game. That’s fine. Have at it. But don’t keep complaining that you can cum in it, or that you keep pulling out. Get yourself a real chastity device, and go to a munch, or a play party, or OK Cupid, or whatever you can use to get a PARTNER. Because there is no greater chastity device than #3.

Truth #3. It’s not yours anymore. Huh? What did I just say? Yes. That’s right. It’s not your cock anymore. You sold it. Contracted it out. Lost it. Gave it away. Whatever. Once you have a partner who IS your keyholder, well then guess what. It’s over. All those fantasies you had about being locked up….. About being unable to cum… The game is over, and now your working for a living. Your hauling that thing around between your legs, and the only thing you get to do with it is pee. And you had best be a good gurl and sit down. Yeah, you’ll get used to peeing on your balls when they have swollen after weeks of teasing and play parties, hot pics on Fet, or whatever else makes you loose sleep at night. Oh, and would you like to know what happens when you DO get out, cheat, cum or disobey your Dom(me)? Anger! Tears! ITS NOT PRETTY PEOPLE! Did somebody take your car without your permission? Have a party in your house without you being there or knowing about it? Oh yeah… it’s the same thing! There will be hell to pay! This goes back to what I told you earlier. Use the force Luke! Your mind is what’s going to keep you from being naughty. Because once you’ve experienced dishing out betrayal to the one you love, your never going to do it again! I guarantee you. Now you are fucked. Locked up tight for real, and there is no going back.

Truth #4. Do eveyrthing. Get yourself a device that is comfortable, because guess what? Your going to be living in it. Do you want to walk 10 miles in uncomfortable shoes? Those points of intrigue are going to do you no favor when your laying under a bulldozer taking a transmission out, or just stooping down to get off a ladder into a crawl space. Even the most friendly device is going to pinch and irritate the hell out of you from time to time. But you don’t care because of #5.

Truth #5. You don’t know it’s there. That’s right. Does your wedding ring bother you? Do you see it on your hand and consciously think about it? That’s what real chastity is like. You live with it so long, you feel naked without it. You don’t WANT to take it off. You don’t want to be without it. You miss it when it’s not on. And yes, you will still sit and pee when its not on. That’s how much she or he has manipulated you with it. Trained you. Changed you.

Truth #6. It’s HOT. SEXY as hell. Yeah. This is the one you were waiting for. The one you fantasized about before I bursted your bubble. When the time comes for sex, your going to turn into that wanton whore that will have you going after anything and everything. Am I a slut? Absolutely! Why? Because I’m despirate! I don’t have a cock anymore. I have a mouth, and an ass, and I want fucked in both holes. Oh, but I can’t cum. I want to. I’m obsessed with it. Somehow riding a cock just feels so good, and I can ALMOST get there, but it’s just not happening. Precum is oozing out of me, and I’m dribbling, making a mess and I am swollen and just absolutely miserable! My legs will give out before my lust for it does. And when it’s over, and you feel like jelly, you’ll thank your partner. And be just as randy and ready for him/her or the next person. This is what your owner has done to you. The monster he or she has created. The great white shark of sex. You are an insatiable fucking and sucking machine. It’s nature’s way of trying to make you asexual. Yeah. Think about it hard enough and you will cum and make yourself pregnant. LOL

Truth #7. You’ll adapt. All that stuff that you complain about will go away. The sleepless nights. The undesired erections. The chaffing, the rubbing, it all will receed into the back of your mind. That little adjustment you make with your hand at night will just be like scratching your head. The way you roll over so as not to break it or your cock when you are swollen from a dream, or the need to pee. And your mind will change too. You’ll stop thinking about things that make you uncomfortable. You’ll stop getting hard everytime you look at something that turns you on.

Truth #8. Your helpless. Your Dom(me) will still know how to push your buttons. And if they want to see their cock get hot and bothered, you won’t be able to stop them. That’s why they hold the key. The power. The control. They adapt too. They will figure out ways to make you regret that you gave them that key. See, to them it is a game. That game you used to play by yourself, well… they play it for you now. They make you hard, and all you want is out. To be stroked. To feel that pleasue that he or she might make you give others. To take a cock in your mouth or ass, knowing what that feels like on the giving end. You know just how to work it. Gurls make the best cock suckers. I can’t help but get hard while giving a blow job. Knowing how absolutely fantastic that would feel. A feeling I know I’ll never have again. Oh, maybe once in a blue moon, she will allow me to feel it. But it’s only to keep the memory fresh in my mind. In fact, ANY pleasure my cock receives is just to torment me for the next time I don’t get any.

Truth #9. You may learn to hate orgasms. You get so used to NOT cumming, that your muscles that do it atrophy. Orgasms can become quite painfull. They can also be mentally dabilitating. Especially when your cum is ruined. I’d rather not cum at all, then have one ruined. It’s crushing. It makes you cry. It may make you angry. Or you may actually laugh. If you do get to have a real, exciting, powerful, unruined orgasm, be prepared to clean it up. There will be a hell of a lot of it, and depending on your partner, they may feel a need for that to be recycled. Only problem now is, that great white has turned into a sea snail. Ick!

So there you have it. Welcome to the gurl factory. Once you sell your soul, other body parts are interchangable. :)

Locked up at the gym after my workout. Too bad they have private bathrooms here.

I like to use this blog to get to know my followers. I love the exchange of knowledge, the enduring correspondence, and even evolving friendships. Let’s play a little game I am calling stereotype yourself. So I can learn more about you. I would like you select the characteristics that you comport...

364 days locked and counting 🔐

Re-blogs and original posts exploring the kinks lurking in The Hidden Recesses of My Mind - Princess Clover’s slave r

I was curious about the popularity of chastity because I felt that it was becoming more widespread lately. So I took a look at Google Trends and indeed, it is on the rise.

The term “cock cage” and “chastity cage” are being searched about 5-6 times as much as they were in 2006. This makes me happy. :D