I Think Some People Forget That Some Literature And Some Media Is Meant To Be Deeply Uncomfortable And

im sorry i literally cannot get this out of my head since last night

YOU hate Christopher Columbus.

if a friend is experiencing/has experienced a loss and is grieving, and you don’t have any experience in the arena of loss, please allow me to offer some advice on navigating conversations about the deceased loved one.

not every mention of their person is the saddest part of their day. sometimes saying “this was their favorite song” “oh they would have LOVED this” “God I wish they could hear the conversation happening at the next table” “I wish they were here” is lighthearted. the mention of their person can be joyful. or melancholic. or, of course, sad. it can be all of those things at once. but no matter, react to the sentiments as just another piece of the conversation.

you don’t need to drop a 55 pound weight onto the conversation and stare at us in pity or silently stare in a combination of confusion and discomfort and sadness.

it’s okay. we know they’re dead. you acknowledging that in an equal state of nonchalantness will not shock us to death, it’s not tasteless or crude. it’s a relief. our dead people are still parts of our lives just like anything else, and giving your loved ones the space and comfort and safety to talk about their person is huge.

you can always respond by asking to hear more, by mimicking their tone. your friend laughs and says “they would have LOVED this”, take it as a chance to learn why! was their favorite color yellow? did they love kitschy little throw pillows? did they utterly DESPISE kitschy throw pillows? are they referencing a specific story?

if they see someone that looks like their person and get a little sad, ask what reminds them of their person. what was their favorite feature of their person? does it make them mostly sad to see someone who looks like their person? did it make them feel a little bit happy for a moment?

we want to talk about our deceased loved ones. we yearn to mention people who shaped us. the way our society has conditioned us to behave around grief, to respond to the grieving, and to grieve ourselves is so backwards and void of empathy, so we often don’t say what we wish we could say. (bell hooks has a wonderful chapter on this in all about love, new visions (ch 11))

by offering opportunities for people to reminisce you are truly making an impact and fostering a safe environment for those around you to grieve in ways we’re often not offered.

As a Parisian I was so ready to bitch on the Olympics but omfg these are the most entertaining games I have ever seen. So far we have:

Korean shooting lady creating an epidemic of bi panic

51yo way-too-casual shooting guy who might or might not actually be a hitman

Muffin man

Leon Marchand probably being Percy Jackson in disguise

Snoop Dog the n°1 Team USA cheerleader

The skateboarders’s bus going down so all the athletes had skate together through Paris to go to the competition, like a bunch of bffs

Clark Kent of gymnastics

Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

AI disturbance overlays for those who don't have Ibis paint premium. found them on tiktok

deeply obsessed with the bridgerton siblings finding the loneliest, most underappreciated people and then forcibly adopting them into their family by way of scandalous marriages