Latest Posts by justbrowsing1212 - Page 2

biyoda

Orgasm is her priority not love

Next time should be without the condom.

D   o   m   i   n   a   |  goddess-in-furs

Take notes

My Dom Shows Me Respect By...

Hearing me out even when he disagrees with me.

Backing off when I say something is really too much.

Keeping his ego in check when making decisions for us. 

Respecting my limits.

Loving me for being me.   

Handling tough discussions with care and a calm tone of voice. 

Being my safe place. 

Staying on top of his responsibilities within our relationship.

Seeing value in my personality, including the soft, cautious and sensitive parts.

Double-checking his views or decisions if I voice concerns.

Following the D/s hierarchy. 

Recognizing and accepting our differences. 

Working hard to earn my trust. 

Holding me accountable. 

Understanding that somedays submission is hard. 

Using D/s to help me grow in ways I find meaningful.  

Believing in me.

Showing up to support, guide, or discipline me as needed, even when it’s hard.  

Trusting that I am trying even when I fall short. 

Giving me boundaries. 

Protecting my sensitive heart. 

Being patient with me. 

Setting goals for me that are achievable. 

Building me up. 

Considering his impact on me. 

Trusting me. 

Being dedicated to me. 

Encouraging me to say ‘no’ when I need to. 

Doing his best to make the best decisions. 

Staying loyal to me.

Speaking kindly of me.  

Advocating for what is best for me. 

Caring about my pleasure. 

Being clear about what he expects from me. 

Analyzing his perspectives, beliefs, and actions regularly. 

Being open and honest with me.

Forgiving me when I make mistakes.

Viewing us as a team.

Keeping his promises and commitments. 

Remembering the value of my submission. 

Tell me you're my slut.

Lovelace (2013), dir. Rob Epstein & Jeffrey Friedman

I mean…..

Interesting position...🤔 bucketlist

Hey my fucking sexy slutty whore lover! You make me soooo wet 😫! Now the questions. Do your followers ever write up stories or scenarios that they imagine you and me in? If they don’t, do you wish they did? Can’t wait to fuck your brains out xxxx Love Zoe xxxxx

No… But id love to see what they come up with 🥰

Your mine tonight you little whore 😈❤️

I gladly will

Is there any other way.

The best bit of cheating is how different the sex is. I want you to pull my hair and destroy my pussy with your big cock. Fuck me up the ass and do all the hot dirty things to me he never will...

This year has to be better than the last one right.

Updated Library For Kinksters

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Topping from the bottom

Note taken 🖤

Something you should know

This post has been sitting here as a draft for several weeks now. I’ve been brewing over whether or not to post it: I am not an expert on d/s by any stretch of the imagination, and extrapolating from my limited experience to suggest that I know something about other people and their internal workings is a risky road. 

But I’m having a rough day, a messy-head kind of day. I told DD straight off - just a simple text: “I’m not myself today.” That’s kind of code for “I’m going to disappear a bit.” But I still need to feel him close, part of things, and writing does that, too. Maybe reading this will do that for him today, if he goes online, as I keep myself to myself, cocooning and quiet. So even though I didn’t write this today it seems like a good day to hit “post.” 

It goes without saying, we’re all pretty different. People are too varied in all their weird, wonderful ways to ever be reduced to a buzzfeed top 10 list, or a one-size-fits-all label and description. But I’ve read a lot of amazing, insightful things on tumblr from a lot of amazing, insightful subs. Seriously, some of the most vulnerable, brave writing I have ever seen anywhere full stop is submissives writing on this site. And I’ve had some of the most gracious and kind conversations from women who have read some of my posts and sent me private messages, and had conversations that are at once anonymous behind our avatars and still deeply supportive, gentle and smart. 

What I’ve learned is this: there’s a lot of us who seem to operate in pretty similar ways. Even when we don’t realize it. Even when we think we’re just a one-off weirdo, there always seems to be another one-off weirdo talking about the same emotion, act, coping mechanism or thought process. 

This letter is not intended to reflect what every single sub might want to tell every single dom. But I suspect that quite a few of these, if not all, apply to a lot of us. And maybe it’s helpful - for either side of the equation - to write about them. 

Dear Doms, Sirs, Daddy Doms, and other dommy types: 

There’s something you should know. Actually, there’s a lot of somethings. This is hard for us to write, because if we subby types had our way there’d be a simple User Manual we could just hand over - a list of instructions, some FAQs, and several pages of troubleshooting. Boom. You’d know everything about how we work. Simple. Easy. No scary, revealing conversations required. 

No such thing exists, but … well, we wrote THIS instead, and it’s kind of a little bit of what you might find in our User Manual, if there was one. Like we said, just some things you should know. 

Maybe you’d like to read it? No rush of course, only if you want to. We don’t want you to think we’re insisting - oh, which kinda brings us to the first one … 

1) Asking for things from you is hard. 

Remember that time when you were doing really good stuff to our girl parts and we said “please” and you said “please what” and we said “please…” and you said “tell me” and we went back and forth like that for a minute? It wasn’t a show, a game to enjoy your dominance over us (though of course, we did enjoy that part too, and we love when you make us answer you.) But we truly struggled to get the words out - just as we do when we ask for a bottle of water, or a spanking, or a clarification on how you feel about something, or any other thing big or small. 

Why? Because asking you for things - anything at all - is really hard. Asking you for things feels like trying to take over, or it feels demanding, or it feels like a suggestion that what you are already doing to us and for us is not already amazing-ten-ways-to-Sunday. 

2) We think a lot about your time. 

Sometimes we think about your time more than we think about your sexual needs, your emotional needs, or anything else. Because your time is the well from which you water us. We know that we are, ahem, “high needs.” We know that we often require the same conversations over and over. We know that we need a lot of affirmation (and re-affirmation, and confirmation, and re-confirmation, of things we have already covered.) We know that this kind of interaction requires a lot more engagement than might be required of you by someone else. We know that even the things we enjoy in bed (or over a table, or over your lap) take more time than what any of us have ever gotten in most vanilla sexual situations - a spanking alone might take more time than an entire sexual encounter for someone else, and it’s only the warm up. We know the world is busy - we know your world is busy - and we try to be careful with your time. On the flip side of the coin, we think nothing of spending extra time on things that might please you - doing our hair a certain way, carrying out a requested task, and so on - but we can’t relate that giving your time to us feels as rewarding as when we do it for you. 

3) We don’t tell you everything we want to. 

If we sent you a text every time it occurred to us, you’d come back to a screen at the end of a couple hours with about 400 messages on it: I miss you. What do you think of these shoes? God I can’t stop thinking about that thing you did that day, remember that day when we went to that restaurant and I was wearing the red skirt? I miss you. I wish you could spank me right now. I think you’d be really proud of this thing I just did. Want to hear about it? Need you. Want you. Did I mention that I need you? Oh I read the best book, you’ll love it. I miss you. What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about me? Of course you’re thinking about me, I’m awesome. Hahah. Just kidding. Um you know I was joking about that awesome thing, right? Sigh. Oh it’s sunny out! Um, I’d like you to tell me how to dress today/what to do at the gym/what to eat. Did you know it’s only eight sleeps till I see you? I got a new bra, want to see it? I know it’s random but I’m really grateful for you. I’m grumpy. Need you. Did I say that already?

Not only do we not send all those things because we’re thinking about your time (see #2) but because we worry that something we say will sound crazy or silly or frivolous, or worse, demanding (see #1). 

4) We need to hear it a lot. All of it. Yes, even that thing you told us just yesterday. 

It’s not that we have a memory problem. If anything, we remember too much, every small detail. We keep memories like a dragon keeps gold: a treasure horde that we keep with us all the time. 

So, no, it’s not that we forgot when you snuggled in close and said that sweet lovely thing. It’s not that we forgot how aroused you were when you saw us all tied up and waiting for you. It’s not that we forgot that you rearranged your schedule for us. It’s not that we forgot when you explained for the billionth time that we’re really definitely important to you. 

We didn’t forget at all. But we still need to hear it again. We need to hear ALL THE THINGS, ALL THE TIME. We need to hear that we’re vital to you, and in what ways, and why. We need to hear that you miss us. That you think we’re cute or sexy or funny or smart or interesting. We need to hear that you worry about things too, that you think of us at random times. We need to hear why we make you laugh, when we make you smile, and how you like that odd little freckle that we fret about.  

Most of all, we need to hear that we make you proud, that we did good, that we pleased you. We need to hear that life with us in it is better and brighter and easier, and without us … well, that even pondering such a thing is unpleasant. 

Yes, we know you just told us yesterday. And the day before. And maybe the day before that. We still need to hear it again. But we won’t TELL you that, because … well, see #1. 

5) We love what we do together, but sometimes it still makes us feel weird for a little while

We all know that we’re doing things we’re not supposed to. We are very good girls, who understand all too well the cultural norms that we live in, and the consequences for breaking those norms. If I told my friends that I let you slap my face, or that you put me over your lap and spank me like a naughty child, or that you call me your fucktoy while doing terrible things to me all tied up in your bed and holy shit I love it so much … well, you can imagine what they’d say. The world is very loud about what is right and wrong, good and bad. 

We know that the things we do with you are consensual and considered, informed and engaged. We know that we’ve talked about it. We know that we both want it, enjoy it, need it, thrive on it, mutually, and that we are better for having each other. We know that we get off (and get off hard) to some of the things we do behind closed doors. We know that we don’t want to stop. 

But sometimes … not always, but once in a while … we feel weird. Which can lead to #6… 

6) We’re super fucking competent. Annnnnddd we still want your help. 

For a group of people who willingly let themselves be helpless and vulnerable and lacking entirely in control, we are actually an incredibly competent group of women. We are good at what we do - not just THIS part of us, but all parts. And you know what we’re the best at? Taking care of ourselves. Most of us figured out how to the hard way - because of how we grew up, or someone who broke our hearts, or simple necessity. And we are so fucking good at it. 

When we are having a bad day, when our heads are not on quite right, when we are “off kilter,” when we’re feeling weird (maybe because of #5), we will probably want to just do our own thing and manage it. We won’t want to ask for your help (see #2) or take up your time (see #1). Even though you’ve told us all the good stuff (see #4) we might be second-guessing ourselves. We will just close up shop for a couple hours or the whole day, and we will manage our shit without any help. 

But we will still want your help, too. 

When we say “I’m ok” we really mean it. When our coping mechanism involves being quiet, we usually really do need to just be quiet. But we need to know you’re there, too. Poke at us. Be present. You don’t need to fix it but we want to know you’re willing, if we want you to. 

7) We are grateful for you. So, so, so fucking grateful. 

We don’t mean just in the lovey-dovey “so glad you’re part of my life” way. We mean grateful that your quirk is the mirror image of our quirk. We’re grateful for the ways you offer structure and mentoring and leadership and support. We’re grateful that you want to be in charge - because honestly being in charge sounds like so much work it’s hard to remember that you even want to be. We’re grateful that you want to do the heavy lifting (sometimes literally) of being the dominant to our submissive, the wolf to our rabbit, the master to our slave.

And, yeah, sometimes we feel weird about the stuff we do (see #5) but we also know that sometimes you might feel weird, too. You do things to us that we want you to do, but that might in any other context be deemed abhorrent or abusive. We know that when you see the way we respond after our time together, if we cry or shut down or need to cuddle for a half hour while shaking, you might wonder if you went too far, did too much - which brings us to the next point… 

8) Our drop is not your fault. 

You didn’t go too far. (***see below) You didn’t push too much. You didn’t cross the line. Sometimes we drop just a little bit, sometimes we drop hard - harder than we expect to. And sometimes we need to recalibrate, come back to normal, and it takes time or tears or strangeness to get there. But we never once think it’s your fault. We never once think the drop is not worth everything else. When we cry, you haven’t made us sad - the intensity of our time together has brought all the things that might make us cry, right to the surface. When we turtle, you haven’t scared us - the enormity of release just requires some time to stabilize. You’re not bad, or wicked, or uncaring. And we know that, without ever needing to talk about it. (***Assuming a consensual, safe act that everyone was on board with.) 

9) We don’t care about your super-domly bod. 

We’re not here for horse-sized cocks and pro wrestler muscles. We’re here for you. And yeah we might get off on the visual parts of you we like best (sometimes things you don’t even think are particularly appealing about yourself) but the stuff that does it for us is in your head and your heart. And we know the same is true in reverse. But we forget, a lot. So yeah, remind us, that our imperfection is as desirable to you, as yours is to us. We know already but, well, see #4. 

10) We are kinda magic, even though we don’t realize it.

We’re a bit weird. Quirky. Strange. We see the world a little differently. 

But we see you a little differently than others, too. You’re the Sir, the Daddy, the Master. You might think that you’re the protector because you’re the boss - but we’re protectors, too, in our own ways: we see you, we accept you, and we understand you better than you realize. We know that you need us to kneel so that you can stand. We know that you need us to give so that you can take. We know all that and then we do what you need and then we ask: what more can we do? Call it whatever you want but this is a kind of magic - to be seen, to be known, to be given what you need. 

****

Well, we did go on a bit longer than we meant to. Anyway, that’s about all we wanted to say. Obviously by this time next week, we’ll have pondered a whole new pile of things and what they mean and how we feel about it - because that’s our thing. But for now, this will do. 

Oh wait: one last thing, a final PS, the last thing you should know … 

#11) We are always always always trying to be the bestest. 

The root motivation for every single thing on this list is to the best, for you: your best girl, best partner, best sub, best friend, best lover. 

Because that’s just how we roll. 

Love always,  

Your Subs xoxo

🖤😈

102 reasons female orgasm denial is the best

Feminists have promoted orgasms as a liberation for women but it’s the exact opposite. Orgasms make women slave to their desires, always craving for immediate reward. Freeing them from this burden opens their mind to the fulfilling role of anal only sluts. 

Found this here and could not agree more : 

I like to be denied and I’m proud of it 🙂 I’m also a woman and a feminist so I find it a bit disappointing that looking around one only finds smut and information on denial and chastity for men. So here are my reasons for denial rights :

1. I have no moral right to enjoy the same pleasures as a Dominant man. 2. I have no right to refuse pain, discomfort or frustration from my Master. 3. Permanent Orgasm Denial is safe and sane and is therefore fully within the rights of the Master. 4. Slaves have no automatic entitlement to pleasure. 5. Whether I orgasm or not should never be my decision. 6. Dominants should have the right to orgasm whenever and however they choose. 7. I have no physical need to orgasm and therefore no right to.

Service 8. Orgasms make me unwilling to serve and obey and are therefore counterproductive. 9. Denial makes me more subservient and willing to do domestic work. 10. Denial helps me to see all forms of service as being of equal importance. 11. Denial helps me prioritize service to others above pleasure for myself. 12. Denial makes me easier to train and control. 13. Denial makes me more willing and able to quickly get up and continue serving after being used sexually. 14. Denial makes me more eager to find a Dominant to serve and submit to. 15. Denial allows me to serve fully without expectations of my own pleasure.

Downsides of Orgasms 16. Orgasms make me bossy, manipulative and self-serving. 17. Orgasms make me bratty, disobedient and demanding. 18. Orgasms make me spoiled, greedy and needful. 19. Orgasms make me selfish, lethargic and unsubmissive. 20. Denial prevents mood swings caused by fluctuating sexual arousal and the highs and lows of orgasms.

Better in Bed 21. Being aroused makes me more fun to play with. 22. Most Dominant men prefer to fuck a very aroused submissive. 23. Being very aroused makes me more eager for and responsive to sex. 24. Denial makes me a better sex slave as I am not distracted by the hope of my own orgasm. 25. Denial allows the Dominant to focus on his own pleasure during sex. 26. Denial allows the Dominant to enjoy sexual relief without the pressure of being required to perform. 27. Denial gives Dominant an additional way in which to pause and enjoy my suffering. 28. Denial makes me equally happy to be used in my arse or mouth or to be cum on. 29. Denial makes it easier to accept being used by others when a Dominant requires it. 30. Being denied ensures that I have less self-imposed limitations and expectations about play and sex. 31. Denial helps me give complete sexual control and obedience to those who Dominate me. 32. Denial ensures that I am physically ready whenever and however a Dominant wishes to use me. 33. Lack of submissive expectations about pleasure ensures that the Dominant does not feel judged, compared or rejected sexually. 34. Denial makes me see sex as a privilege and not a right. 35. Denial allows the Dominant’s sexual preferences to take full priority. 36. Denial helps me focus on the pleasure of the Dominant instead of my own physical sensations. 37. A lack of concern for my pleasure and satisfaction gives more options to those who use me. 38. Denial reminds me that my preferences are not the limit of how I can be used, sexually. 38b. Denial makes my pussy tighter, giving more pleasure to my Owner.

Benefits to the Relationship 39. Denial will help me bond with my Master by establishing a constant feeling of connection, submission and control. 40. Denial ensures my faithfulness and commitment as casual partners are unlikely or unable to offer the orgasm denial that I need. 41. Permanent Orgasm Denial is an intense, rare and unique experience which will ensure a deep and powerful bond between me and those who enforce it. 42. Denial ensures a contented submissive who is not anxious about her own pleasure. 43. A happy Master is essential for a happy relationship.

Objectification 44. My sexual organs, including the clitoris, should be at the service of Dominant men at all possible times. 45. Sex is for the Dominant’s pleasure, not the slave’s. 46. It is not appropriate for a slave to lose self-control whilst serving a Dominant. 47. A slave’s body belongs to her Master and He decides how it is used. 48. My holes belong to those who use them and are for their pleasure only. 49. Serving anally and orally will help me focus on the pleasure of those who are using me. 50. My body can be used to give pleasure, enjoyment, and satisfaction to others, even when I dislike what is being done with it. 51. Denial helps me appreciate the utility, femininity, and submissiveness of my body.

Better at Taking Pain 52. Denial makes me more willing and able to take pain to please others. 53. Denial accustoms me to the reality of slavery that is physically painful or difficult. 54. Denial makes me desire pain to deal with the sexual frustration.

Altruism 55. My orgasms do not benefit anyone else and are therefore unnecessary. 56. My own pleasure is irrelevant to how much pleasure and satisfaction I can give to others. 57. Slaves are inferior to Dominants and do not deserve to orgasm. 58. Denial of orgasm is a small price to pay for the privilege of being Owned and enslaved. 59. Denial helps me to enjoy service and submission in their own right, and not just as payback for sexual pleasure. 60. Both parties working towards the Dominant’s pleasure creates harmony of purpose and avoids conflict of interest. 61. Denial helps me to appreciate the beauty, dominance, and eroticism of the male orgasm. 62. My denial pleases and arouses Dominants who enjoy this fetish. 63. Denial prevents me from favoring only the sexual and s&m activities which are likely to cause me pleasure. 64. Denial makes me more willing to try things that may not be pleasurable or desirable for me. 65. I am more useful as a slave when my enjoyment is of no concern to myself or others. 66. Denial makes me less judgmental about serving and pleasuring others. 67. Physical arousal caused by denial enables me to pleasure more men, making me more useful as a slave.

Submissive Mindstate 68. Denial helps me to see myself as a total and permanent slave. 69. Sexual frustration is a constant reminder of my submission. 70. Denial causes me to remember and focus on the non-physical and non-pleasurable aspects of submission. 71. Denial trains me to give up control of my body, even when single. 72. Denial helps me appreciate the power and privileges of Dominant males. 73. Denial shows Dominants that I am willing to serve and be obedient. 74. Orgasms are unnatural and unsubmissive for slaves.

The Pleasures of Denial 75. Sexual frustration makes me emotionally happier and more subservient. 76. Extreme arousal is fun to play with! 77. Permanent Orgasm Denial is a great reward which I should seek and hope to experience. 78. Denial is an amazing gift of arousal and control from a Dominant and should always be treasured and appreciated. 79. Denial gives me freedom from my own sexual dictates.

Denial Improves Me as a Person 80. Being denied for long periods gives me discipline and self-control. 81. Learning not to obsess about my own orgasm makes me a better, more well-rounded person. 82. Denial saves time that would be wasted on masturbation. 83. Denial prevents me from prioritizing short-term satisfaction over long-term growth and development as a submissive. 84. Denial helps me choose Dominants on the basis of giving service rather than receiving sexual pleasure. 85. Realizing that I cannot and should not have everything I want is good for my humility.

Denial as a Natural State 86. Denial is not an irregular restriction but a natural and permanent state for a slave. 87. Women have no physical need to orgasm. 88. Female orgasms are unnecessary for impregnation. 89. My orgasm serves no biological purpose. 90. Intense sexual arousal is a preferable and healthy state for adult females. 91. Denial of orgasm has been a normal state for women throughout history. 92. Sexual arousal is designed to persuade women to accept penetration from an aroused adult male. 93. Orgasms not resulting directly from insemination are unnatural and require correction. 94. My orgasm is designed to take place only after a male has ejaculated deep inside my vagina. 95. Female orgasms are designed to prevent sex from occurring after successful impregnation. 96. Female orgasms triggered by sodomy are abnormal and should be avoided. 97. Female sexual arousal is necessary to ensure breeding, unlike female orgasms. 98. Lack of sexual arousal after orgasm is an undesirable and temporary state. 99. Anal sex is a natural alternative for those wishing to avoid impregnation. 100. It is not natural for a woman to touch her sexual organs except when cleaning herself. 101. Denial causes physical arousal and lubrication prior to sex and is, therefore, natural and to be encouraged for women. 102. My arousal serves no purpose if it does not lead to impregnation.

Keep that asshole spread because that's next.

How Sunday's should be

The Madness of Trust

There is nothing obscene in the things you do,  in the submission you offer and I so greedily take. 

There is nothing obscene  in ravaging, the filling of every orifice,  the whipping, flogging, and hard hands  leaving the marks you crave.  Each of them are an act of love.  A decision between two people For whom obscene is a mild version of love. 

We seek something wilder,  a constant taking. Further  than the imagination of mere movies and well lit studios. 

We seek the truth of each other,  the boundaries, the places we dared not go with anyone else, The madness of trust that leaves us gasping, and hungry for more. 

With us,  There is nothing obscene. 

Keeping this for later.

A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.

Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”–punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.

The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)

Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.

Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.

Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being. 

NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.

Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive. 

Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.

Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.

Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.

Humiliation

A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across. 

Clothing Restriction

Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.

Diapering

For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.

Sissification

Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems. 

Public Humiliation

Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is simply that–controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging

Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.

Toy Restriction

For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.

Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal–either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm. 

Denial

Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.

Chastity

Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores

Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!

Furniture Restriction

Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.

Caging

Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.

Bedtime

A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.

Time-Out

Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.

Objectification

Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.

Dietary Restriction

If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.

Speech Restriction

For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact

If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes. 

Rice Kneeling

Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.

Figging

Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments

Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines

Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.

Apology Letter

An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.

Essay

An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.

Homework

Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you–because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!

xx SF

Not Fooled

I adore Tumblr. It’s a way to connect effortlessly with people who share a part of my life so few know about. I’ve been able to learn and explore things that would otherwise have been difficult to come across. But Tumblr has done it’s fair share of harm too. It’s easy to get lost in the glamorous images and sexy stories posted, and before long the grass looks a whole lot greener on the neighbor’s side of the fence.

It’s a constant effort to remind myself that these are snapshots of people’s lives, not complete images. And they’re photo-shopped, carefully chosen, edited ones at that. I have to be vigilant to be sure I’m not fooled into believing everything I see. I need to constantly remind myself that what I see isn’t necessarily a reflection of what exists.

Not every woman practicing BDSM is a size 0.

D/s couples disagree. Sometimes they fight.

The people in those pictures suffer from depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

Not every sub is female, and not every Dom is male.

Sometimes shit happens. (Quite literally, if you enjoy anal play.) Sometimes a position hurts, heads bang together, legs give out, or you end up roaring with laughter and not release.

Bondage doesn’t just happen. There’s preparation, and safety precautions, and chaffing. Those don’t show in pictures.

Not every sub can deepthroat a 9 inch cock.

For that matter not every man has a 9 inch cock. (Shocking, I know.)

People have bad days. Doms cry. Subs forget and act out.

Whether or not you enjoy anal, or humiliation, or bruising isn’t what defines you…on either side of the slash.

There’s nothing wrong with being a Top, or a bottom, and not wanting that dynamic to leave the bedroom.

And, on that note, Dominance and submission are not about kinky sex. You can fuck in the dark in the missionary position, or not at all for that matter, and still be in a power exchange relationship.

So I try to step back. I look at the photo of the woman, with the perfect hair and flat stomach, kneeling before a man with a pristine suit and a three thousand dollar watch on his wrist, and try to remind myself that the reality is better. The messy tearful days, the laughter over a queef at the wrong moment, the note left behind on a busy morning, and the run in a stocking on a soft chubby thigh… those things are perfect too.

Show me how much you miss me😈

Communication is everything. We might even shoot some video clips for you

#Girlfriend #Cuckold #Texts #fucking

Love a woman that knows what she wants. 😈