Latest Posts by lies418 - Page 3

Which one shall it be?

my 100 follower event's batfam prompts. the 2 most voted for options will be written

please reblog for wider reach

Ok so when i was like, 13?, i read an “how to survive in a zombie apocalypse” guide on wattpad and lemme tell u if the apocalypse ever comes i’ll be prepared as everr.

So anyways, poll time!!

I was reading something on AITA that damaged me immensely

"Time blindness is an explanation, not an excuse. It means you don’t have an innate sense of time, not that you physically cannot see what time it is."

Hey, excuse me but that cannot be allowed. You're fucking with me again. First y'all've said you have inside voices then y'all've said you've inside pictures, and I know y'all don't Gumby like me (hyper mobility disorder :(( o no )

But come on. This has to be a joke. One person's delusion of grandeur.

My phone has been malfunctioning so that it shows the time in another time zone randomly and last week after a full day of doing stuff it showed me 11 am and of course I believed it until someone told me: no, it's 7pm. Why would i not. How on earth was I meant to know I hadn't just had a busy 5 hour morning. I'm reeling. I want a list of what's not wrong with my brain, stat!

They will destroy nature and call it saving the planet.

50 posts!

You know what would be hilarious.

Trans Batman accidentally convincing Gotham that the batclan are like clownfish.

This is helped along when Red Hood comes onto the scene and is later also revealed to be a batclan member.

Trans Bruce Wayne? Male to female? Like she loves wearing Martha Wayne's dresses.

Anon you're speaking my language???

Bryce grew up watching her Mama get all dolled up for galas and always connected with that in a way that people say boys shouldn't. Listen Thomas and Martha were definitely the type of parents that didn't care abt gender norms and would let their kid dress however they want. Thomas probably rocked a few dresses in his time.

So Bryce tells them that she feels more like a girl than a boy? They're so accommodating. They get her whatever she needs. The surgery, the drugs, the clothes (but she prefers to wear Martha's too big dresses). Alfred switches from Young Master to Young Madam. It would hit even harder when Thomas and Martha die because those were two of the three people who truly understood her. And now they're gone.

After they die, people feel a bit more comfortable bringing up her 'changes' to her face. Alfred is right by her side but she did have some uncomfortable moments with people. Thomas and Martha definitely protected her from a lot of the media attention and stares.

She still becomes The Bat. I can see her going by Batman to protect her identity even more but also sticking with gender neutral The Bat. People can't tell if The Bat is man or woman which elevates the cryptid vibe she's going for.

The day Martha's dresses fit her perfectly is a bittersweet day. All Bryce has ever wanted is to wear her Mama's dresses properly and now that she can, her Mama isn't there anymore. She sobs into Alfred's arms that day but after that, wears Martha's dresses with pride.

By the time she adopts Dick, she passes so well that he doesn't know she's trans. And it just kind of never comes up? He calls her Mama (which she cries at) or B and that's what all the other kids end up doing. There's some LoA magic/tech involved in Talia giving birth to Damian. He shows up at the manor and upon finding out that Batman is actually a woman, he's impressed.

They find out when the batfam decide to dye their suits for Gotham's Pride Parade and Bryce's suit is the trans flag and her cape is the demiromantic flag. There was a lot of screaming that day.

Jason tries but he just can't fight his Mama, no matter how angry he is at her for not killing the Joker. He spends some time away from the manor but after a lot of talks, screaming, tears and hugs, he comes around. He is also very protective over his Mama, I won't accept otherwise (they all are tbh)

Also let her be tiny?? 5'2, buff Bryce Wayne picking her 6ft+ sons up easily. A tabloid got a picture of Bryce holding Dick up after an attack at the museum by The Riddler. She's in a pretty floral dress, with pink pumps and soot all over her face and her muscled arms covered in blood and scratches. The internet went insane.

Bryce Wayne: *exists*

Gothamites: mommy- sorry mommy- i mean mommy-

Also rip the batkids cause Bryce mothers all their friends too. Shit hits the fan when Jason nearly strangles Garfield cause Bryce gave him a forehead kiss to check if he had a fever.

ramblings about non-binary batman

to make the idea of batman as terrifying and as inhuman as possible, bruce comes up with the idea to disregard the concept of gender entirely. he rebrands to The Bat, & carefully constructs himself to be a creature of gender nonconformity rather than a ‘Man’, or being ‘Masculine’. he uses his influence over the press to anonymously encourage reporters to write about The Bat with ‘they, it’ and similar pronouns, to further emphasise the idea that The Bat is fear and justice incarnated; a concept rather than a physical being. it makes objective sense to him to separate himself from humanity as much as possible in order to truly complete his mission of becoming an idea rather than a person. it starts to feel strange when people refer to bruce wayne as a he. the two identities he lives by clash horrifically: bruce wayne, playboy, arrogantly sure of himself in masculinity and manliness. and The Bat, a thing no one can place real human binary to, with no true identity. bruce isn’t sure what this means for their personal preference. it doesn’t feel bad to be called he, since it’s the word people have referred to him as all his life. but the objectification of ‘it’ doesn’t seem to be objectifying, instead comforting, and ‘they’ is neutral enough to be comfortable in any way. neither The Bat nor bruce are really one for soul-searching and identity-finding. so bruce leaves it alone. it finds that it doesn’t mind venturing outside of the binary, in and out of costume. he sees himself as a figure of strength and fortitude to all, either as a public philanthropist or an indescribable cryptid of the night. bruce decides that maybe it’s time for them to be a tad less strict about identity and reputation, and so he contacts the papers and donates to as many non-corrupted trans charities as he can find, and tries to publicise his blasé attitude towards gender as much as he can. they figure that seeing two of gotham’s most famous figures not being the typical cisgendered male would help people personally, not just physically protected from crime.

Chiroptophobia: the Fear of Bats.

Bruce Wayne is Scared of Bats. This is a Canon Fact.

In a difference from canon, Batman pretends to actually BE a bat man.

(Again, “Loading and Aspect Ratio” by JUBE514 situation with fake wings. Please go read it I love it so much.)

Bruce turns himself into a physical manifestation of his personal worst nightmares, and sets out to be a street cryptid. People see him flinching from bright lights and loud noises (he hasn’t slept in three days and he really hates guns) twitching weirdly (testing his wings function/stimming) not fully understanding human social niceties (you cannot tell me this man isn't Autistic) and, duh, wings, and go ah yes this being is Inhuman.

However, people KNOW Brucie Wayne™ is petrified of bats. There was an incident at a party when one flew through a window, another at a zoo, there was this one time Manbat showed up and he practically teleported away. No one saw him for a whole month, even after Batman had captured Manbat. (He got injured in the fight.)

By extension, this means that Bruce Wayne is afraid of Batman. Just- absolutely terrified of him. No ones seen them in the same place. Ever. Bruce Wayne actually publicly refuses to even believe in the cryptid for YEARS past when he's already been proven to exist.

When the Justice League gets called in to protect Bruce and his smattering of children from some plot (batman conspicuously absent, despite Gotham being his territory) Bruce straight up tells the league that he doesn’t believe in Batman, and he feels much safer with “real heroes” rather than “a urban legend spawned from overdramatic furries and gang wars.”

The justice league is, obviously, confused.

Certified little shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, (because we’re going with JUBE514’s canon and jason doesn’t die they’re all brothers f off-)

ANYWAYS: Certified Little Shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, ready for chaos/solidifying secret identities: “Don’t worry! We believe in batman! We saw him!” :D

They then proceed to tell the justice league that Bruce HAS met Batman, but he has a phobia of bats, so when Batman saved them at a gala Bruce screamed so loud and shrill he threw off the bat-hearing and then punched batman in the face so hard he knocked him out cold, grabbed then-baby Jason and ran. (Nightwing and the second Robin had to HEROICALLY rescue a dazed Batman, Dick saw it with his own eyes!)

Bruce was so scared of the bat coming to take revenge that he jumped at every shadow for a whole month. Why, Jason, (who was younger then) had slept in Bruce's bed to keep him safe! (Dick is crooning about his cute little brother. Jason, who is hitting his growth spurt and not a little kid anymore, is infinitely embarrassed.) Right now, Brucie has settled into firmly denying Batman’s entire existence so that he can sleep soundly at night.

“Why is he so scared of bats?” The Justice League is wondering. Oh, they are so glad they asked!

“Alfred told us a story once,” Dick says, eyes wide and innocent as he prepares to lie through his fucking teeth, “that when Bruce was little, really little, he got trapped in a cave filled with bats, and his dad had to come rescue him. Apparently, Little Bruce had been crying about a massive bat, even bigger than he was, with glowing red eyes and human hands and (gasp) wait oh my goodness gracious what if that was the BATMAN :0”

“The baby batman.” Jadon adds.

“Batboy?” Tim wonders.

“Alfred, do you think Bruce met Batman when they were little?” Dick asks.

“I believe,” Alfred “the greatest enabler” Pennyworth hums, offering fresh baked scones to thier gleeful audience, “that Master Bruce referred to what he saw as ‘the bat king’ and reported seeing him outside his window several times over the years.”

“Maybe it really was him! Will you ask Batman for us?” Tim asks, already planning to hack the watchtower cameras and set up some popcorn with his brothers.

The Justice League, who have learned more about the Batman in one conversation than they have over MANY years of working together, tell the Wayne children that it will be their Genuine Pleasure to quiz batman on his interactions with BRUCIE WAYNE who has, apparently, laid batman out cold with one punch.

Alfred adds on that he personally thinks the Batman is being rather courteous to Master Bruce, as “bat king” sightings were after “difficult times” and he doesn’t come near the manor otherwise, as robin had been the one to return some stolen family heirlooms that one time they were stolen. He calls the batman and his robins “polite young gentlemen” and then leaves.

But now the gears are turning in the justice leagues heads. Batman? Courteous? Polite? Batman is not Courteous or Polite. Not unless something else is going on.

Now. From their point of view. Batman lives in the cave systems under the richest houses in Gotham, Phantom of the Opera style, hiding his meta form (because this batman is playing cryptid really well. Maybe he was a mutant baby of some Rich Gothamites, who threw him into the caves in shame!) He’s been watching Bruce Wayne, likely as he struggled with the highly reported on demise of his parents, seeing the effects that crime had on the boy that fell into his cave all those years ago. Batman has always been so protective of children, so hateful of guns, obviously the Wayne tragedy is part of what motivates him. He loves Gotham dearly, territorial of it to the point of keeping other heroes out, and yet he breaks that rule here, for Gotham's prince, solely for Bruce’s comfort.

Bruce, another person who obviously loves the city of Gotham just as much, putting millions into charity and relief efforts. Who is clearly very protective of his children, even if he usually has no spine, to the point of attacking his greatest fear to keep then safe, and good enough to land a hit, even. (Bruce Wayne is also considerably attractive.)

Its all so clear to the Justice League: Batman is madly in love with Bruce Wayne. Has been for years. To the point of watching him sleep, on occasion. How very tragic! Batman, in love with someone he can never be with! Not only would it paint a massive target on Bruce’s back if they ever did get together- there’s no questioning what Gotham villains would do if they discovered this, (and denying himself love out of an attempt to keep others safe is EXACTLY the kind of self-sacrificing nonsense Batman would pull) But Batman can’t even truly see the man he’s in love with without Brucie running screaming! Well, the poor guy… how sad…

This conclusion can be supported by the following evidence-

Batman’s first appearance being right after Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham. Was the bat following him to protect him in those missing years? Or maybe he decided to clean up the city now that his beloved had returned?

Batman always being seen near where Bruce is. He’s never once been at the watchtower when Bruce has a public appearance- he must be watching over him, a silent guardian in case someone gets it in their head to kidnap Gotham’s Prince.

Batman insisting that Bruce is innocent in a corporate scheme, despite evidence to the contrary. (Hes right in the end, of course, but they’ve never seen him ignore evidence so clear.)

Batman casually referencing Wayne Tech/Foundation inner workings- he keeps an eye on them, of course. (If he can’t be close to the object of his affections, the league reasons, of course he’d make sure that Bruce’s company and projects are on the right track)

Nightwing, when asked, confirms the Bruce Punching Batman story. He says “honestly I think B was impressed! Caught him off guard!” (Since when does Batman lower his guard? Only when he’d be… distracted, perhaps…)

Superman saves Bruce, who thanks him with a kiss on the cheek. Later, justice league was teasing Clark, batman huffs and leaves the room. He’s CLEARLY jealous! Superman feels just awful!

Batman inexplicably knowing social dances/high society manners- he must have learned by watching (stalking) bruce! He can navigate high profile talk if he wants to, he just doesn’t want to most of the time. but if the situation calls for it he can talk like the Richest of Pricks in a way that only comes with observation.

Batman bristling when some of the league members start making Comments on Brucie Wayne’s Physical Attributes. (Jealousy? Defensiveness? Perhaps… embarrassment at GL’s detailed explanation on what he’d do with a chance in bed with Brucie.)

Batman absolutely freezing up when confronted with any of the above evidence. (He’s trying SO HARD not to laugh/go tell his kids)

Dick/Jason being big enough to wear the Bat-wings rather than thier own and be convincing- they save Bruce, though the man passes out (from fear? Blood loss from an injury? Perhaps- he is faking) and Dick/Jason, either out of genuine concern for their dad or general “how can i stir the pot” chaos, gently strokes his hair away from his face in an act of compassion that the cameras just so happen to catch. (There’s a few tears shed in the justice league- poor batman! He can’t be with his love!)

The robins (in both identities) telling the justice league that they've seen batman watching him.

“oh yeah he does background checks on aaaaaall bruces conquests. Had a conniption when brucie found a mafia boss that one time.”

“And when he found out Bruce and Two-face had a fling!”

(The league notes that often, if a criminal gets too close to Brucie, they’re put away not long after. B is usually collecting evidence. But it looks like angry Batman wanted them to get the hell away from his mans.)

The Justice League is swooning over this tragic, forbidden love story. Batman is a little creepy but hey. He apparently grew up in a cave system. Its a wonder he's as well adjusted as he is. Batman has their sympathy, he seems less unflappable/untouchable, they’re a little more understanding with him now. Superman is all too happy to be a rebound, if needed. There are magic users offering glamour spells. Hal is making exposure therapy innuendos.

The robins can’t believe how lucky they got. They’re def grounded but B can’t be too mad bc his secret identity is FUKIN SET.

Alfred is rather proud of Batman's new nickname in the league being “the bat king” and keeps sending batman along with cookies. The league thinks Batman is checking up on bruce with his butler. Its a mess.

Eventually, Batman loses a bet to one of his kids. Committing to the Bit with an exasperated sigh (he’s definitely not having fun, shut up jason.)

He admits to his crush.

*cracks knuckles*

So you know those fics/ideas where the batfam pretends to be winged cryptids (“loading and aspect ratio” by JUBE514 is beautiful, as is the series “f’ing demon bats” by KingJai) completly inhuman, entirely different, unknown species?

People start trying to like, study/classify them, along with other metas and species that are emerging. At first, they think the bats and the birds are different species, deciding to co-habitate, because- duh. Bats are mammals. Birds are birds. But then, why do they all have the same whistle chitter language? The same claws, fangs, cape-like base to thier wings? All the babies call Batman dad, what if its really a bloodline family? But if thats the case, then why are they so different?

The answer lies in the batgirls.

The bat… GIRLS.

Black bat, batgirl (all 3 of them), batwoman, all are female. The robins, nightwing, red hood, are all male.

The feathered members of the family are SHOWIER. They’re stealthy, sure, but they’re dramatic, using their brighter colors and their words to draw attention to themselves. Even red robin, the drabbest and most silent of the bunch, will get into loud debates with riddler and such. Clearly, these are displays to attract a mate. Just look at nightwing.

The leather-winged members, in the other hand, are quieter, talking less often, sticking more to the shadows and silent+violent takedowns. Black Bat almost never speaks. Oracle is never even seen. Spoiler is louder and more brightly colored, but who is Gotham to enforce gender roles onto their cryptid? They’re noticing trends.

But then… where does batman fit into this? His coloration is the closest to black bat. His fighting style fits in the shadows, not as flashy as other males of his species, so what gives? Is this theory just a theory?

No, of course not. The answer is obvious. Batman is trans.

Trans Cryptid Batman.

Idk how Duke fits into this give him a bird theme or smth.

BONUS POINTS if Alfred (grandpa gotham cryptid) is “revealed” to have lovely white feathered wings. Its meant to be a play on how he’s an angel looking out for them (an angel for putting up with them) but it kickstarts the whole thing.

(EDIT: more bonus points if Bruce is either A:actually trans or B: Bryce trying to avoid sexism, and cannot for their AFAB life figure out how they got clocked as biologically female)

25000 likes!

going off the alley/Gotham fate post from last night: a world where Bruce doesn’t find his Robins but is still Batman, and every single one of his kids is drawn to him even though their lives are complete and relatively safe without him.

Dick has living parents who love him but has always felt like something was missing. He makes eye contact with a man in the crowd at a performance and feels a bizarre, all encompassing urge to go talk to him.

Tim meets Bruce Wayne at a party hosted by his parents and wants to cry when he shakes the man’s hand.

Jason runs into Batman on the street one night getting medicine for his mom from the pharmacy and briefly considers following the man home.

Maybe Bruce knows their original fates, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he believes they’re better off without him. Better off without Batman. But he doesn’t realize that the second their lives intersect again (they were always meant to) his children could never look away from him again into blissful ignorance.

I wear socks, yes, no, yes, no, yes even with shoes, yes, yes, yes, yes but it would be uncomfy, ankle socks, keep wearing it until the hole is too big to ignore, yes

OKAY series of polls about sock preferences because i'm a curious autistic fuck:

(if you don't wear socks don't answer any of the other questions)

curious what the fandom's feeling :)

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

pls reblog for sample size etc

at the end of april fools day* idk if they're removing it or not

Currently both featuring baby Dick Grayson, though Werebat is currently literal baby Dick Grayson.

(Something Else option also includes Just Wanting to See Results)

How would you feel about us opening the ask box?

So... we have a giant backlog of years-old messages. Some of the questions may or may not be relevant anymore to their askers. Some are from deactivated blogs. Some are things we've struggled to answer. Etc.

The backlog of asks has prevented us from opening the ask box.

So we want to ask you as readers and writers what your opinion is. Longer explanation below.

Life happens, and this is all volunteer-run. But I am sorry for all of you who wrote to us over the past few years only for us to not have the capacity to answer at the time.

Something we have done in the past was briefly open asks to help us get the momentum going, while we chipped away at older asks that required more research or reaching out to guest mods with identities we don't have. Or slowly getting to answering questions about our own trauma in order to help someone else write it in a way that respected its gravity.

With opening the ask box then, it also meant that the mountain continued to grow large. In an ideal world, we'd be able to answer every ask quickly.

I realize folks will see this and reply with, "why not just get new mods?"

Taking on new mods requires figuring out what an application looks like, reaching out to demographics besides our own (and knowing where to do this, and the right way, considering this is an unpaid gig), interviewing, and training new mods in how the ScriptFamily group of blogs operates. And generally, even when people go through all that process, very few people are able to maintain activity on the blog. Which is understandable! We are all in that boat! (ALSO. This isn't a sideblog, so it requires logging in and out, or using another browser, pls advise if you know a workaround. ) So the balance of labour put in to bring on new mods, vs. labour saved by it, is a HUGE roll of the dice.

I say all this not to discourage people from asking tough questions. Only to hopefully give some insight into why some asks take so long, and that it's because I've been researching Molly Houses from their heyday for like 5 years and figuring out what a Bavarian asexual man would call himself in 1920 using repatriated texts from the Magnus Hirschfeld Institute, typed manually and auto-translated. And also... someone asked about the omegaverse, AKA the A/B/O trope and transness this one time and... we all have a lot to say, haha. It's a lot to unpack! But we're passionate. And I hope as we work through asks in the future, our archive will help us better be able to help you.

But IDK, what are your thoughts on all this? Should we just go through the backlog very slowly (regardless of the age of the asks)? Or do you want the ask box opened for your current questions?

So I have a thing of Clockwork being a triplet. Clockwork (Time), Cosmos (Space), & Chaos (self explanatory lol)

I think I might redo a couple of my old hermitcraft AUs. Y'know since there's now Skizz and Joel who are apart of the group now. Question is which one I should redo first

Information on each AU:

Centaur Au- Rather self-explanatory, everyone is centaurs instead of humans or humanoid. Mostly horses but there's some variants too.

Cabin in the Woods Au- Cabin in the Woods-esque world with monster/creachur hermits & friends. Along with a bit of people turning into monsters.

Dracotaur Au- I mean, dragon centaurs. Including long noodle bois, chonky bois, big winged bois, and people getting turned into draconic creatures and going a bit feral.

Protomob Au- Where the hermits are the prototypes to the modern-day mob hybrids. A little glitched, a little less human, a very much more cryptid to other people.

Monster Hunter Au- Takes place post-S8 but more like the world is pre-monster hunter. And the hermits are all practically deities now, their essence keeping the world alive and going. And mutating the surrounding areas.

Naruto Aftermath Au- (Name might change) Pretty much several hermits are Naruto characters, but like, post a timeline where they won against the Moon Goddess but were the only survivors for several centuries. Including Etho = Kakashi, Skizz = Sasuke, Scar = Obito, etc

please spread this so that it can actually be funny instead of just 1 person voting

edit: oh god it has 20k notes and it's been running for less than a day

edit 2: please tag me in any art of this i'd love to see it

edit 3: all of you guys ascking where the vanilla extract is. Here it is, you found it. Congratulations.