Mnarmorhide - Freeblade Vortigan Of Tarnis

You know what I call that? Growth!

church of satan throwing shade

F*ck you. Roll for it.

So I’m DMing and my players were searching for a powerful artifact that they knew was in the possession of a local cult. They decided to infiltrate the cult as new recruits in order to learn more and to avoid violence. The party consists of a Barbarian Goliath, a Cleric Dragonborn, and a Human paladin that managed to talk their way into the inner levels of the secret hideout. At this point, they have all decided in private the the cult was insane and too dangerous to be left intact, so they’re planning to slaughter everyone from the inside, they’re just waiting for the right moment while the leader tours them around. The cult leader stops to pick something up from a guard at a check point that has an iron door complete with a mail slot. My Goliath suddenly interrupts my narration with:

Golaith ooc: I grab him. The cult leader.

Me: What? I uh… Sure. Go ahead. Roll for a grapple.

Golaith ooc: Nat 20 plus 13 athletics. I grab him.

Me: Well goddamn. Ok, you grab the cult leader in one hand around the throat as the guard watches in horror. Now what?

Goliath ooc: I push him through the mail slot.

Me: … Fuck you. Roll for it. Raw strength. There’s no way in hell you’re gonna-

Goliath ooc: *Nat 20 again* AYY LMAO! What was I not gonna do?

Me: Wow. You uh… You push the man through the mail slot. Headfirst. The guard is now covered in his glorious leader, as well as his own shit. Good… Good job.

*Paladin & Cleric start golf clapping in approval*

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess