Elendil : "what Do The Elves Call Their Friends Living By The Sea? Watermelons?"

really underrated part of the LotR films is when gollum gets exposition lines. like can you imagine? you're travelling with the most fucked-up evil little murder greyhound creature imaginable and he lives in a cave and doesn't know about potatoes but from time to time you have to ask him about local geopolitics. and he answers you

Aragorn: *Listening to the ground* Yes! That way!

Legolas: The wind whispers and the leaves tell me that our hunt is near.

Gimli: I have weird friends, but they're my friends and I wouldn't change them for the world.

Gimli: What is Aragorn doing?

Legolas: He was raised by Lord Elrond.

Gimli: You say that like that makes it make sense, but it doesn't.

Silmarillion Sexy Man Tournament

Have you ever wondered who REALLY is the sexiest guy in the Silmarillion? No? Well, start wondering.

The Silmarillion Sexy Man poll will be a bracket style competition to see who truly is the sexiest guy from Silm! Currently there are 48 contestants, listed below.

Finwë, Thingol, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Finarfin, Maedhrod, Maglor, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Fingon, Turgon, Finrod, Angrod, Aegnor, Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Beleg, Mablung, Eöl, Celeborn, Maeglin, Gwindor, Turin, Tuor, Eärendil, Voronwë, Sauron, Manwë, Melkor, Orome, Tulkas, Orodreth, Celebrimbor, Bëor, Androg, Ar-Pharazon, Elrond, Elros, Dior, Beren, Hurin, Huor, Isildur, Elendil, Eönwë, Mandos, and Ulmo

Don’t see your favorite blorbo on there? Don’t worry, I probably just forgot they existed. Shoot me an ask, and I will add them to the list! Polls will start likely in the next few days. Each character will randomly be paired up with another to ensure fairness, but popular characters may be paired up with eachother to give less popular characters a fair chance. This poll would be really boring if Maedhros and Sauron instantly won just for being popular.

Short FAQ:

Which characters can I nominate?

Anyone not on the list, as long as they feature mainly in The Silmarillion. For example, characters like Glorfindel is allowed since he plays a major role in the events of The Silmarillion, but Gandalf would not be allowed because he mainly features in LOTR, and this poll focuses on The Silmarillion.

Where are the women?

Don’t worry, women will get their seperate Silmarillion Sexy Woman Tournament after this one ends. I didn’t want to include them because they would just lose round one and that’s not fun for anyone.

“i never see you at the club” ok well i never see you on ao3 at 2am reading about the same two bitches falling in love for the 1000th time in the 500th way

It has been a while

Peter: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? 

Peter: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. 

Peter: I also want to softhack his circuits. 

Tony: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

Haleth: heavy is the chest that bears the tits, or however that saying goes.

Caranthir: ...not like that.

Baby feanorians ♥

Tolkien writing kingdoms' moral decay and eventual decline: they exploited nature, destroyed forests and cut down trees

Tolkien writing male characters' moral decay and eventual decline: he stopped listening to his wife