I May Not Be A Girl Anymore But Eldest Daughter Trauma Is Forever

for those of you who still haven’t listened to the Magnus Archives, one of the great things about it is that the writer really avoids using things like sexual violence and ~scary mentally ill people~ and awful racist tropes as fuel for horror, and instead makes very, very effective fuel for fear out of things like not being able to quit your job, one (1) very large pig, teaching an entry-level college class, 19th century british architecture, having a crush on your boss, community center art classes, having to move back in with your parents, package deliveries, men named Michael, reading, a metalhead who refuses to explain himself, going to a concert and the band is really shitty, the overall concept of doors, A Hole Full Of Meat, and poetry

i think part of the reason why i love disney’s hercules so much is that the idea of a sassy hades resounds so deeply with me as a person who has siblings. like imagine if you were rich as fuck and had to live in what’s basically the flooded basement of the entire world while your brothers fart around banging everything in sight. if i had to live in a literal swamp and listen to stories about poseidon turning into a horse to get sexy with demeter i’d probably have no fucking patience too

Somewhere, lost in the clouded annals of history, lies a place that few have seen — a mysterious place called the Unknown, where long forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.

— Over the Garden Wall (2014) by Patrick McHale

Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess  Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature  Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp)  Monk Must practice a martial art  Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports  Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately  Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice)  Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom  Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government)  Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA  If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.

oh to be a little goose and wreak absolute havoc

Mario is a slut and a war criminal

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don’t know what I’m supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met 

lyrics from “the night we met” by lord huron. it’s been seven years since merlin ended and i’m still sad

the year is 1347. my husband just died from “the plague” and i’m moving in with my female “companion” in a secluded mansion in the european country. we have no kids and two dogs and we seem unusually close. i call her my wife but historians call her my best friend. little does everyone know, she’s both.

gender: distortion