Latest Posts by pickup-gays - Page 2

are you a pokemon? cuz i want a pikachu

a picture’s worth a thousand words but picture us and i’ll make it worth a lifetime

*clears throat*

Titties

i hate myself

hey girl, ya like to skate? cuz i wheelie wanna roll into those DMs

Baby, if I were a hammer, I’d nail you every night.

“I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.”

- Source

Your body is a wonderland, and I’d like to be Alice.

What pickup line would you recommend to get me a girlfriend at Christmas?

How about:* Shouldn’t you be sitting on top of the tree, Angel? - or -* Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?—Just some ideas! Hope it works outXoxo - Grace

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

You don’t need a spoonful of sugar to make me go down 😏

don’t stick your tongue out at me unless you’re gonna use it

I like men like I like my coffee…

I don’t like coffee

glasses feat. me hitting on my friends

You don’t need to give me a spoonful of sugar to make me go down. ;)

I am totally going to use this from now on when I pick up women.

I like your band merch but it would look better on the floor.

Challenge: lesbian signs as bad pick up lines (I have more challenges btw!)

Aries: Are you my appendix? Because I don’t know what you are or how you work, but I have a feeling in my gut that I should take you out. 

Taurus:  “It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”

Gemini: Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.

Cancer: Thank god I’m wearing gloves, because you’re too hot to handle 

Leo: *holding out hand* can you hold this while I go for a walk? 

Virgo: On a scale of 1 to America how free are you tonight? 

Libra: Are you french? Because maDAMN

Scorpio: did you fall from heaven because have sex with me 

Sagittarius: You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you.

Capricorn: Are you an orphanage? Because I wanna give you kids. 

Aquarius: I like your bangs and I like your boobs, and Id like to bang your boobs.

Pisces: I’m all out of raisins, so how about a date? 

I got a crush on a band chick and this happened

Heh, you think my writing’s great - you should feel what I can do with my tongue.

Oko ninjah (things lesbians say)

My friend told me this balloon would get me the ladies so here it goes: Are you a dinosaur? Because jurASSics beautiful!

My flannel is made of girlfriend material, I think it would look great on you

Damn girl, you’re one fine hipster, cause you can really make those hips stir.

Me? A vegan? Oh honey no, I’m a vagitarian and I’ve got my sights set on my next meal.

Girl:*walks up to my crowded table* Hey guys, is there anywhere I can sit?

Me:*gives a small smirk* If you want you can sit on my lap, but I’m told my face is way more comfortable..

Group:*Whooping and shouting* OOOO! Oooo!!!

hey girl are you a lesbian because

please?

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.