Latest Posts by pigeonl0rd - Page 8
“You think your plushies get jealous watching me fuck you?”
“Satoru, please, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning.”
“I’m just thinkin’ about their feelings, baby.”
“They’re little stuffed animals, ‘Toru, they don’t have feelings.” You blink your eyes open as you squint at him in the darkness of your room, just barely making out the silhouette and one of your squishes.
“Don’t listen to them, Carmelita, they didn’t mean it.” He loudly whispers to the squish squeezed in his arms, and you quickly sit up as you blindly reach out for him.
“Give me her! Why is she in the bed? I put her on the shelf earlier!”
“Because I wanted to hold my daughter, that’s why! Don’t be stingy!”
“You’re gonna get her dirty, Satoru!” You fight to pull her from his arms, and he whines and flips over, trapping her between his chest and your mattress while you push at his back.
“Then I’ll give her a nice bubble bath.”
“You can’t just wash her, you’ll ruin her fabric and softness. It’s a very gentle, precise process that I absolutely do not trust you with, so give me her.”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“No~”
“Satoru!”
“If you two don’t shut up, I’m going to release every single disgusting curse I’ve swallowed up to this point and let them level this entire block.”
“Suguru,” you lean over the side of the bed, making out yet another dark figure laid on the floor. “As long as the curse takes him out first then I would be okay with that.”
“Hah? You’d just let him kill your boyfriend?”
“Without a doubt, yes.”
low quality jjk trio i know you needed
part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5
I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.
PLS I CACKLED AT SAMPO AND BLADES TROPES
your blorbo as a hallmark christmas movie trope
please don't take this seriously. this is a shitpost collaboration between @fontzero and @mahal-kita and myself. contains leaked characters.
gepard is the nice union tradeworker that you meet after getting a divorce
aventurine is the secretly rich visiting businessman that falls in love with you, the humble town worker at your family's business
ratio is the hot teacher at the high school your kid enrolled at
sunday is a christian mingle movie. he's also the pastor that lost the christmas spirit and needs help finding it again. he also directs the HSR equivalent of veggie tales
boothill is the gruff rancher with a secret heart of gold that runs his family's ranch, which was passed down to him after his dad passed away last christmas
argenti is the knight time traveled to the present day
serval is the hot mechanic you meet when your car breaks down. she offers to let you stay at her place, rent free.
topaz is the passing businesswoman on vacation that you, a visiting tourist, fall in love with
himeko is the owner of a private hillside observatory that gets the clearest view of the night time sky that everyone is desperate to visit. you're the first to visit after years, with her confessing she hasn't let anyone visit since her partner passed away years ago
luocha isn't the love interest. he's the protagonist visiting home for the holidays.
sampo is the literal grinch and/or antagonist in every single one of these movies
jing yuan is the local christmas tree seller that's stuck in his family business and falls in love with a new tourist every season
dan heng is the sweet college student from a local university you meet while visiting your parents for the holiday season. he's convinced it was just a fling, but he finds himself running to stop you from boarding the plane and convinces you to stay at the last minute.
blade got isekai'd into a hallmark christmas romance movie and he's painfully aware of it. when you watch his movie, there's this disturbing sense of him being aware that he's in a movie and breaking the fourth wall, despite only being a side character
geto will always be happy from the bottom of his heart
kaeya as sleeping beauty and diluc as the prince but it’s all wrong
diluc: *gets face to face to a sleeping kaeya and whispers* fuck you
kaeya: *wakes up*
diluc: tf😨 why’d u wake up
kaeya: joe…
diluc: joe?
kaeya: JOE MAMA
diluc: *punches him back to sleep*
—————
^^based on a dream i had the other night
i fr woke up laughing my ass out