The Ever Terrifying And Exhausting Cycle Of “i Don’t Want To Share My Writing Bc It Feels Disheartening

On the verge

​She says she's given up on waiting for him,

She thinks it's all a pipe dream, in her head

That someone like her doesn't have the luxury to dream

To have adventures, explore and experience something new each day

To actually fall in love with what you do each day

To have him by her side, encouraging her

She was an optimistic person and somewhere,

out there, across the oceans she believed he was there

She thought she could have it all; the career, life, and relationship

But who was she kidding? Who was she to dare to dream

How can someone like her break those walls? So she gave up.

Then out of nowhere, from the other side; he talked

He said, 'I've found you, and I'll come get you'.

He waited years and years for her, searching for her

In this journey of happiness that he kept traveling

He knew she was the one to guide him in his purposes

He had it all in the past, but he wasn't happy genuinely

All because he needed someone to love him for him

When he found her, she was on the verge of giving up

He had to muster every ounce of energy he had

To reach out to her to let her know and be heard

That she was almost there, that they were almost close to each other now.

By Adia

“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”

— Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

“I hope you fall in love with someone who never lets you fall asleep thinking you’re unwanted.”

— Unknown

“The strongest people have a past filled with chaos, heart break and disappointment.”

— r.h. Sin

Once

Just for once, let me be selfish for myself.

Let me focus on my goals, my needs, and my life in all

Why do I have to keep worrying about everyone

And putting myself on the back burner

Why? Because I'm supposed to care for others first?

In the midst of taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing,

taking care of drama and arguments that has nothing to do with me

moping after their dirt and cleaning up the trash

Just so it sorts out well for them to be happy

Who's going to sort out mine?

Should I have kids myself, so I can dump my problems on them,

Do I always have to walk on eggshells around you all

Why should I let go of my dreams to fulfill yours?

Being kind and empathetic for others drains me

I hate interactions and socializing with people now.

Existing seems like a chore to me than a gift

So, please just for once let me focus on myself

My mental and emotional wellbeing needs care too

I'm not asking you to care for me,

I'm asking you to let go of your hold against me

I'm a human too

I have needs and dreams too

I also want to be healthy in mind and body too

I deserve happiness too,

Please don't cage me in anymore.

- By Adia

“Someone somewhere is searching for you in every person they meet.”

— Unknown

The hardest part about moving on is realizing that you didn't mean as much to someone as they meant to you.

Earphones On

Music to drown the noise

with earphones on the whole time

staying as far away as possible

because I knew if I heard it

I wouldn't be able to stop myself

I would eventually speak up

I would explode it all

the anger and sadness

I've been bottling it all in.

Then it would cause more hurt

everyone would be mad

because everyone thinks they're right.

So even if there's screaming at the back

I keep my earphones on

with the volume up high, ignoring reality.