There’s Something Off About Bruce.

Pt1. // Pt.2 // next

Hood would never want to be verified and would actively hate being verified argue with the wall

Jason is that one unemployed sibling who texts you weird shit at 3:27 pm on a Tuesday.

Like, Dick, sweating his ass off in his police uniform getting a text from Jason, which btw, extremely rare- and it's just a Twin tomato (two tomatoes grown as one ykwim) and captioned w "ur ass"

or Tim is in the middle of his board meeting and he gets an email from Red Hood and hes like stressing out chcking it only to find a pic of his apartment's kitchen's pantry asking "why dont you have salt?"

and then damian coming back from school to see his phone full of texts from Jason and it's all pics of ugly animals and every pic is captioned with "u" "u again" "wow u"

Bruce getting a morse code going "check phone" and it's a video of Jason flying away on an alien helicopter contraption with Roy yelling after him asking him to get down and jason saying he doesnt know how this shit works.

funniest 'Jason Todd comes back as red hood and starts talking to the bats without telling that he is, in fact, Jason Todd' trope is where Red Hood starts becoming minorly friendly with the bats and lets slip that Jason Todd is indeed still alive, but not that he is him.

now this can result in multiple outcomes, however i think the funniest possible version is the version where while Dick is bemoaning about the loss of his little brother and how great Jason is and how he wants to talk to him again, and without a second of hesitation Red Hood just nods his head and goes 'oh yeah, hottest robin by far, too. sexy as shit, that guy is.'

this results in the entire bat family fully believing that Jason Todd was somehow revived and taken to the LOA where he met and fell in love with this murderous assassin known as Red Hood, and the two are currently in a relationship.

Jason, petty and pissed at his family, decides: holy shit that's funny. and he goes along with it, meaning there are multiple occasions where we get interactions such as

Batman, brooding on a rooftop: the second Robin... he has always had such a big heart.

Red Hood, cartwheeling in the background: big dick too, godDAMN

Batman: i am begging you to stop.

---

Nightwing: you're DATING my little brother? AND YOU WONT LET US TALK TO HIM?

Red Hood, full of shit: he's too busy visiting venues for our wedding next autumn. and before you ask, no, you're not invited.

Nightwing:

Batman: you mean to tell me, you're marrying my son, and you won't allow us to be at the wedding?

Red Hood: Jason's decision.

Batman:

Red Hood: Green Arrow's walking him down the isle

Batman: ok thats it-

---

Red Robin: so is your fiance happy about all this crime lord murder stuff?!

Red Hood: my future trophy husband understands that if he's going to be able to sit and look pretty for me, then I need to bring home some serious cash, now stop interrupting my work.

Red Robin:

Red Hood:

Red Hood: for real tho, Jason's so hot-

Red Robin: STOP IT

bonus scene:

Dick: Damian, did you know about this?

Damian, hasn't been paying attention: know about what?

Dick: Jason's engaged to Red Hood!

Damian:

Damian, knows full well Jason is full of shit because he grew up with the guy in the league:

Damian: hes what now

Jason in the background: *violently gesturing death threats*

Damian:

Damian: yes. i'll be travelling home in the fall to be the flower boy. I believe Todd has already picked out my suit.

Dick:

that christmas, Bruce Wayne receives a card with an obviously photoshopped Red Hood that's got his arm around Jason's shoulders, who also has a photoshopped wedding dress on. Damian is stood in front of them, a 'just married' banner in his hands, looking very much like he was paid to be there.

Dick never forgives Jason for making him think that Alfred was invited to the wedding and he wasn't.

For the 5+ headcanons post, I was interested in seeing if you had anything for UraIchi. I didn't have a specific au in mind although I really enjoyed "Hope Springs Eternal" and would be interested in any epilogue thoughts, or something Seireitei University perhaps.

Utter crack, thy name is Seireitei University ^_^|||  I’ll give you something from HSE instead lol~

1. They never do get around to having a awkward dancing around each other/pining/dramatic confession moment. They have an apocalypse to reverse and no time for lovesickness, but also Ichigo’s spent too long on his own to realize those are things a lot of people go through, especially at his age. They already spend most of their time together, Ichigo knows more about Kisuke than he does any of the others, and they practically sleep in the same bed, with how close their futons have gotten (because sometimes they stay up at night lobbing new ideas about the Hogyoku back and forth and planning for the past-future or just talking about nothing until they fall asleep). Kisuke’s always been a category of his own in Ichigo’s mind, and if he starts thinking he wouldn’t mind waking up more often with his head pillowed on Kisuke’s thigh while Kisuke scribbles new theories in his notebook, it’s not as if it’s anything that different from what they’ve already been doing anyway. On Kisuke’s part, he probably notices before Ichigo, and he thinks for a hot second that he should probably feel guilty– but a fierce sort of possessiveness overshadows it more and more with every time Ichigo turns to look at him first, with every smile shared over tea at midnight, with every lethally beautiful dance together in the training grounds, and Kisuke can’t bring himself to object in the end. He figures he’ll go at Ichigo’s pace, and that will have to be good enough.

2. The world is very different once they’re back in the past. Aizen is handily taken care of with a bit of custom-made poison and an assassin of Yoruichi’s caliber, staged as an accident and all his research quietly destroyed. The problems come after that. Half of them don’t even remember what it’s like anymore, to live in a world where stepping outside doesn’t mean potential instant death, where they don’t have to hoard food and carry weapons and mark every hiding place and exit in any given vicinity. Even for the adults and Shinigami amongst them, it’s difficult not to flinch under the natural sunlight or go their separate ways and put down roots in buildings no longer half as warded as the warehouse they’ve lived in for the past decade and a half.

Some adjust more quickly. Ichigo does not. He stares at the crowds and unbroken streets and bustling shops like they’re completely foreign. He jumps at music blasting from a loudspeaker and is constantly tamping down the reiatsu that sparks at his fingertips every time a group of people walks by chattering freely. He walks into restaurants like he half-thinks they’re one of Aizen’s illusions. Kisuke… hopes he helps. They go on walks and he shows Ichigo more open, quieter areas like the parks and the riverbank and the hiking trails. He shows him hand-drawn maps of Karakura, points out all the entrances and exits of everything from the mall to the high school to the hospital. They take it slow, and whenever Ichigo starts looking overwhelmed, a couple Kidou spells from Kisuke is enough to redirect the crowds somewhere else.

3. Another perk of travelling back to the past is that it fixes Ichigo’s body. His power levels stay the same, his control and strength and speed all remain, and they even made it so that he keeps his eighteen years instead of being stuffed back into his ten-year-old body (there’s a moment where they have to scramble for paperwork and possibly amnesia-fy an entire town), but for the longest time after they return, Ichigo takes to staring into the bathroom mirror with something as desperate as it is disbelieving. He never does break the habit of wearing clothes that cover up most of his skin, but he also bares himself for Kisuke more easily, and Kisuke loves the way he shudders when they’re in bed and he’s running slow reverent hands over miles of tanned flesh, taking just as much comfort in the smooth warmth of a body unmarred by his mistakes.

4. Isshin is a Problem for all of two minutes when he catches Ichigo pinning Kisuke to a wall in the Shouten, kissing the breath out of him, thoroughly enough that it takes several dazed seconds for Kisuke to pull his brain cells back together when Isshin shrieks something unintelligible from the doorway. Technically, Isshin knows about the Other Future, but he has no memory of it, not like the rest of them do, and they certainly didn’t tell him about Ichigo and Kisuke - Ichigo because he couldn’t be bothered with someone who might as well be a stranger, Kisuke because he’s never been in the business of airing his personal laundry. So Isshin shouts and accuses Kisuke of being a pervert and preying on his innocent son and demanding he keep away from Ichigo from now on, and Kisuke only has time to feel Benihime seethe at the back of his mind before Masaki appears, casually kicks Isshin back out into the courtyard, waves at them with a cheerful reminder to “practice safe sex!”, and then she’s gone, dragging Isshin away with her. The next time they see Isshin, he still glares daggers at Kisuke but he keeps his opinions to himself, especially since every time he opens his mouth, Masaki’s smile would brighten like demonic sunshine, and Isshin would snap his mouth shut again with a wince, face bleaching white as he adopts a mien more suitable for a funeral. Ichigo’s mother is terrifying, and Kisuke prays he never gets on the wrong side of her.

5. Ichigo’s favourite thing about being back in the past is how much more freedom he has. He doesn’t know any other way to put it– it isn’t as if he was locked up in that Other Future, and it’s been years since anything could really pose a danger to him - Aizen aside - so it wasn’t like he hadn’t been able to wander wherever he pleased even back then. But here, where people don’t scuttle around like they’re constantly expecting death, where there’s no bodies littering the ground, and the air doesn’t smell like blood and rot, Ichigo in turn has no reason to constantly keep his guard up, to patrol and scavenge for supplies and be ready for battle at any moment. Sure, it’s a little boring with only a few Hollows to kill every other month, but it also means his family is a lot safer, and he’s free to do things like tangle his fingers with Kisuke’s when they take a peaceful walk in the evening, or go out for dinner and come back late without anyone panicking about something happening to either of them, or just stay in bed all day with Kisuke, knowing the cupboards and fridge are full and they don’t have to get up to tend to the farm or hunt for more essentials or search for another way to end Aizen once and for all. It admittedly takes some getting used to, but this world is definitely preferable to the apocalyptic one, and Ichigo doesn’t plan on wasting a single day of it.

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Your thoughts on sex pollen? Maybe Steve gets dosed on a mission and he needs *someone* to help him take care of it, but he and Bucky aren't together yet (just both in the mutually pining stage). So Bucky volunteers to take a bullet for Steve, to get to have him this close (but not really). Steve's crying out "I love you, I love you" the whole time and Bucky just tries his best to ignore it, because it's just the drugs talking, right? And after, Steve must feel so bad for "taking advantage."

My thoughts on sex pollen are “hell yes,” tbh.

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Hotch-centric

AUs

Prof of Law Aaron Hotchner: AU where there is no BAU but there is a bunch of college profs

Professors: The second part to ^^ about Reid

Take Me To Church: bisexual!aaron Hotchner with religious trauma

If the Lord Don’t Forgive Me: Part two to Take Me To Church

Zombie AU: The BAU kicking zombie ass in an alt. universe because I think it would cool

Quanitco Hope: Grey’s Anatomy/CM AU (Hotchniss undertones but includes the whole team)

Moments Too Late: BAU College AU Part One | Part Two

BackStories & Things

In His Eyes: Hotch is very messed up

The Slow Crawl Back To Normal: the missing month between Nameless, Faceless and Haunted

Aaron Hotchner is…

God’s Gonna Cut You Down: my Aaron Hotchner backstory

Heredity: Aaron Hotchner thinks about who he is

In The Woods Somewhere: Haley loves wild, dying beasts

Just… Hurt

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child: Hotch is tortured by an UNSUB

Minimal Loss AU

The Physicality of Love: touch starved Aaron Hotchner

Route 66 Part 1

The Narcissist: “I choose Aaron Hotchner”

Aversions: Hotch is less than dealing with the events of Foyet’s attack.

The Shot That Tore Through The BAU: Hotch gets shot

November 22nd: It’s Hotch’s birthday

The Lies We Tell: lies people have told Hotch 

The Worst of it: the aftershocks of Emily’s death

Deaf! Hotch

Nightmare

Hand In Unlovable Hand: Hotch gets bitten by a snake and the team has to race to get him emergency attention

Heart Attack: they’re assured it was only a matter of time… that’s unsurprisingly not helpful

To Weigh the Odds: Morgan told him to take care of his son, so that’s exactly what he’s doing

Hand In Unlovable Hand: Hotch gets bitten by a rattlesnake

A Dull Aching Pain: Hotch can’t take it anymore

Heart Attack: they’re assured it was only a matter of time… that’s unsurprisingly not helpful

To Weigh the Odds: Morgan told him to take care of his son, so that’s exactly what he’s doing

A Wonderful Life: Car Wreck Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four| Part five 

No One to Wake You Up  

Been Having a Hard Time Adjusting: Pakistan doesn’t end so well for Hotch

Minimal Loss AU rewritten

Hold It Together: Hotch plays the damsel in distress

Cracks in the Ceiling: Route 66 stuff

Poker Face: Roy and Hotch

Envy for the Solid Ground 

Lie To Me: Another Cancer AU Part One | Part Two 

Hello. Your Koyonagi/Ichigo story is really amazing. Thank you for writing such wonderful stories. I really adore your characters. Although I wonder how Koyonagi would react about Ichigo's past when Ichigo finally told him about it. And will Koyonagi be jealous of Ichigo to anybody with whom Ichigo was close in his time, for example Kisuke? It would be interesting to see.

Thank you! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed reading my fics =D I would imagine Koyonagi’s definitely the possessive type. He’d probably take the whole time travel thing more or less in stride pretty quickly, but maybe sometimes, Ichigo points people out to him, talks about them fondly, wistfully, knowing he’ll never get them back. 

Thank you! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed reading my fics =D I would imagine Koyonagi’s definitely the possessive type. He’d probably take the whole time travel thing more or less in stride pretty quickly, but maybe sometimes, Ichigo points people out to him, talks about them fondly, wistfully, knowing he’ll never get them back. And Koyonagi doesn’t mind, he likes that Ichigo trusts him enough to speak of his past and his secrets. But then one day Ichigo says something in passing when they bump into some of the captains at a bar, maybe Kisuke is pretending to be way more drunk than he actually is in a corner and Ichigo takes one look at him and rolls his eyes and tells Koyonagi, “He’s not even a little bit drunk. I thought I was taking advantage of him when he dragged me to bed after celebrating one of the battles we won, but apparently he just uses that as a front to gather blackmail.” He snorts. “Also he has a surprising amount of poetry memorized. He recited like three of them to me just to prove I could sleep with him guilt-free.”

And okay, Koyonagi already knew Ichigo wasn’t a virgin, but also he’s self-aware enough that he can look at Urahara Kisuke and acknowledge that there’s more than a few similarities between them. Knowing Ichigo’s slept with him - even if it was a different future Urahara - sinks heat and claws beneath his ribcage, and the next time he bumps into the Twelfth Division captain, he can’t help cataloging all the potential weaknesses he can see while a voice in his head hisses that it would be easy to make the man disappear. Urahara seems to sense his animosity immediately, and his head doesn’t snap around, but he does stiffen, and when he casually turns and meets Koyonagi’s gaze across the courtyard of the Shiba estate, the silly fool facade he usually wears has almost completely dropped off his face, leaving behind flat grey eyes and a killer’s detached mien. It’s like looking into a mirror, and Koyonagi has to reflect with some amusement that Ichigo certainly has interesting tastes in men.

But then Ichigo is there, always so much more perceptive than people think he is or even remember he is, and he takes one look at both of them, rolls his eyes, pats Urahara on the shoulder with something like apology, then saunters right over to Koyonagi, and in the most public display of mine that Koyonagi has ever been on the receiving end of, Ichigo crowds him up against the tree behind him and pulls him into an aggressively filthy and wildly inappropriate kiss. By the time he pulls back, Koyonagi is half-hard and has completely forgotten Urahara as he blinks rapidly at a smirking Ichigo. Kaien is wailing something about eyes and bleach in the background but all Koyonagi pays attention to is Ichigo leaning into him and grumbling, “I’m with you, you idiot. As if anyone before can compare.”

After that, Koyonagi still gets jealous sometimes, but as reminders go, Ichigo’s are very effective.

jason: why are you looking at me like that?

damian, age 4, wondering why jason looks white if he's his brother: you're colored wrong

jason: what the fuck?

okay but what if we refocus our gaze to stevies “pretty, swelling nectarine of a tummy” for a sec ... i Need 🥺

(Slightly old ask that I started and forgot to finish. Nonnie is referencing to this post about the ‘Take You With Me’ -verse— my favorite self-indulgent tropetrash universe— with regard to preggo Omega Stevie) Hm, okay, if you insist! Coming right up ;)

Alpha Bucky is a pregnant belly worshiper.

Early on in the pregnancy before Steve is even showing Bucky is still regularly cuddling his flat stomach, running his hands over the skin low on his slowly softening belly... maybe being a little naughty and moving lower to nuzzle right above Steve’s groin and breathe in deep at the place where Steve’s changing scent is the thickest

Insists on having Steve stand sideways against the same wall every week so Bucky can draw the outline of his growing tummy in marker and admire the progress

Has a secret Pinterest board where he saves ideas for the maternity photoshoot he’s going to beg Steve to do when he’s near-term, because Alpha Bucky is exactly that basic

Asks JARVIS to order the largest container of cocoa butter he can find so he can rub it on Steve’s belly every night-- even though “Bucky, I-- you don’t h-- c’mon, you know the serum won’t let me get stretch marks”

(tbh Bucky is kind of sad about the “no stretch marks” thing)

Fluff fluff fluFF oh I’m sorry, did you think you were going to come onto my blog and I was going to produce some a/b/o pregnancy kink smut? Whatever could have given you that idea? I’m scandalized.

I’m imagining that Bucky still has his normal ruts even though Steve isn’t having heats, and they are just the most euphoric times of his life because his body is telling him to breed Steve but then he’s fucking him and looking down at the big, pretty omega spread out under him and his brain is just— ‘oH GOD YES LOOK HE’S ALREADY BRED UP THIS IS JUST. THE BEST. I DID SO GOOD.’

But even outside rut Bucky is fucking insatiable, from the moment Steve’s scent starts changing all the way up to when he looks big and huge and about to pop. Can’t keep his hands off of Steve, off his mate, off his widening hips or his healthy bump. (Steve and all his horny pregnancy hormones are... not averse to Bucky’s enthusiasm)

Bucky’s got a definite *thing* for having Steve touch his own swelling belly while Bucky is fucking him on his back, holding his legs open for him (especially since Steve can’t really hold them himself anymore), sitting up on his knees while he looks down and sees how well Steve takes him into his growing body, describing everything Steve can’t see over the bump, saying how wet he gets (how good he smells), low-key growling deep in his chest while he encourages Steve to run his hands all over that taut belly with an endless litany of hormone-fueled dirty talk and praise, “So good for me, sweetheart, growin’ my baby for us, keepin’ ‘em safe and warm inside a’ you, show me— yeah, that where? This big, sweet belly where I put our kid? That the place you’re keepin’ ‘em for me, till we get to meet them? So good, Stevie, so good, yeah you can take it, take this knot...”

Whew, feels good to get a little nasty.

[x]