Latest Posts by soup-squad-idiot - Page 3

me *having had only a handful of strawberries, two cups of coffee and an energy drink*: why hand shaky :(

so down bad i accused her of witchcraft

have both girl and guy friends is wild because i walked out of a conversation about swords and into a conversation about armpit hair. now try and guess who was talking about what.

reinventing yearning because that’s how bad i want her. haven’t spoken to her in person in over three years and i still stare at her photos, make her playlists, ect. i still sleep next to the stuffed animal she gave me for valentine’s day. every crush since her has had brown eyes.

so down bad for this girl that i had to check and make sure she wasn’t using witchcraft on me.

i love befriending elvis variations so much.

ok so i have like 20 followers maybe but i absolutely MUST post unnecessary life updates. SO. i am SO READY TO LOCK IN. i have a 2,000 word AP essay due sunday and ive barely started and its worth over half my grade. i will post again at midnight what my word count is. currently at 250. ill see you all it two hours. pls for the love of all that is good and holy, pray for me, wish me luck, any of the above. 🫡🫡🫡

i seem to have a knack for befriending weird little trans dudes.

hello motherfuckers (working on my gender neutral greetings) i now have *drum roll* 1,174 words!!!! i need to asleep now.

ok so i have like 20 followers maybe but i absolutely MUST post unnecessary life updates. SO. i am SO READY TO LOCK IN. i have a 2,000 word AP essay due sunday and ive barely started and its worth over half my grade. i will post again at midnight what my word count is. currently at 250. ill see you all it two hours. pls for the love of all that is good and holy, pray for me, wish me luck, any of the above. 🫡🫡🫡

ok so i have like 20 followers maybe but i absolutely MUST post unnecessary life updates. SO. i am SO READY TO LOCK IN. i have a 2,000 word AP essay due sunday and ive barely started and its worth over half my grade. i will post again at midnight what my word count is. currently at 250. ill see you all it two hours. pls for the love of all that is good and holy, pray for me, wish me luck, any of the above. 🫡🫡🫡

My sense of humor is so broken

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard, and so much

All because I made this

woah mama means family

interested in this kind of content? go check out my homie @bats_and_skittles on instagram

the names murple. starrain murple.

yearning <3

i saw this and just. i had to.

“you belong in the kitchen” okay? and you belong in the soup. get Boiled idiot.

i saw this and just. i had to.

“you belong in the kitchen” okay? and you belong in the soup. get Boiled idiot.

family lore is insane because it ranges from “dang can’t believe my older cousin sam dropped out of college” to “what do you MEAN aunt jackie was involved in the irish MAFIA???”

why slut shame women when you could slut shame the president

gosh i just. Fucking Love Mushrooms So Much. like i’m just sitting here and then randomly 🍄🍄‍🟫🍀🍁🍄🍄‍🟫. I LOVE THEMMMMM.

this is the random shit if u even care

i changed my name based off some random shit i wrote in a rly sad journal three years ago

this is a cry for help btw

my ex girlfriend is still gorgeous and brilliant and amazing but she also still lives SO FUCKING FAR AWAY.

i changed my name based off some random shit i wrote in a rly sad journal three years ago

my ex girlfriend is still gorgeous and brilliant and amazing but she also still lives SO FUCKING FAR AWAY.

@loozerboykisser STOP REBLOGGING YOU FRUITY LITTLE HEATHEN

“you belong in the kitchen” okay? and you belong in the soup. get Boiled idiot.

me *running backwards up stairs while firing a gun at a furby*: am i doing this right? what? oh you meant one at a time? well which one do i do first?

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.”

— Zig Ziglar

“that much sugar is bad for you” “that much caffeine could kill you” listen karen. unless you wanna try fighting my sweet tooth and caffeine addiction in hand to hand combat, stay out of it. i’ll die exactly how i want to thank you very much.

why does this have so many notes. this is the most notes i’ve ever gotten. it’s not that funny. guys why are you laughing. guys—

“you belong in the kitchen” okay? and you belong in the soup. get Boiled idiot.

PSA for incense users:

incense are rly rly bad for the respiratory system of ur pets so when ur burning incense, do it in a room ur pet doesn’t usually spend a tone of time in and just open the windows

if ur burning an incense stick and u wanna put it out, you can dip it in water or just stub it out on like a rock or something. if u stub it out, it relights easy! if u use water, just snip off the part that got wet and boom, instant relight!! (great to prevent waste)

that’s all i got thanks for listening!!!

betrayal was the first sin. it was the original sin. betrayal of trust. all creatures either betray or are betrayed. no one will ever be let free from this prison. hell is not a place we are sent, hell is the waking world in which we exist.

there are gorillas in my uterus and they’re hosting fight club