Stardustt-child - Those Stars Man

me about to talk in public: *rehearses what im going to say 50 times in my brain*

me: today how you are

the artist’s guide to falling in love;

I. Find someone who makes your heart flutter, in a small, innocent way. Maybe it’s their cheekbones or their laugh or their music taste. Romanticise it in every way possible.

II.Fall way harder than you ever intended to. Write poetry about them and listen to songs that make you ache to remind yourself of them and pine after them in the most pathetic way possible. Reason with yourself that this is pain is good for your creativity.

III.Tell them, out loud or otherwise, but let the words slip out your lips, waterfalls, and tidal waves of destruction out of your mouth. If they don’t feel the same, go home and write poetry about rejection and revenge. Press backspace on it all and let numbness take over. If they feel the same, fall harder, the way angels do when they fall from heaven.

IV. Romanticise everything. The two freckles on their right eyebrow and their hands and fingers and the way they breathe. The way they take their coffee and the fact that they really want to spend time with you. Make yourself ache in the best way possible and occupy your mind with their smell, their favourite films, and every conversation you’ve ever had with them.

V. Watch it fall apart without really realising that it’s happening. Let yourself yell and scream and try to keep it together and remember how much you love the freckles on their eyebrow but forget that they like their coffee without milk or sugar and forget to understand. When they leave, remember they have black coffee and that you’re not enough, you’re not enough for tropical thunderstorms and summer breezes. Begin to write more poetry about heartbreak and wish you could make it stop. Dream of hurricanes and lightning.

VI. Make to do lists and begin to feel okay in the wake of their absence. Drink tea and practise self-care, see the friends you neglected, and remember that the next time you fall in love, you will understand; remember how they take their coffee and their tea, and remember to love both the freckles and the scars, inside and out. Remember to love who they are, and not just their aesthetics. Don’t just love the thunderstorm, love all of the weather that they bring.

*looks at clock*

Me: Crap. I have to be somewhere in six hours. Time to start psyching myself up.

Your first love ending is the feeling of the car door slamming on your fingers, and as it drives away with your half-ended tendons, you can’t help but think about how beautifully the light reflects off the hood. Your first love leaving is the sound the paintbrush makes as it cracks into two pieces right before the brushstroke that makes an artwork into a masterpiece. Your first love hurting you is the rush of the water down the bathtub drain, sinking sinking sinking like a pile of stones in the pit of your stomach, before disappearing forever simply because you no longer think about it. Your final love is the feeling of a symphony orchestra playing your heartstrings like a harpsichord to the tune of the song that never fails to turn your lover’s lips upwards like a sunset that happened to flip itself on its back to reveal its pink belly to the world. Your final love is the sound of the robins singing their good mornings outside the bedroom window as you open your eyes against their neck at the crack of dawn, before pulling them closer and slipping back under. Your final love leaving is with a note that says “see you tonight for dinner, I love you, be safe” and you tuck it in your breast pocket because that’s the closest you can touch it to your heart and you start heating up the oven because you are so excited to kiss their cheeks that night.

1:28 AM: THE FUTURE (k.p.k)

“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I imagine being states, continents, and even worlds apart but still remembering you, being you halfway around the world someday

siempre estás en mi mente

need someone to fuck me hard

I don’t need to go to college I can learn anything I want through youtube tutorials