Headcanon That Bruce Is Worried About His Kids Who Don’t Live With Them And Who He No Longer Gives

headcanon that Bruce is worried about his kids who don’t live with them and who he no longer gives an allowance to. Specifically Dick and Jason. But they’re too proud and “self-sufficient” to ever accept any money Bruce tries to give them,,,,,, so Bruce gets . . . creative.

jason: *walking through his apartment* Jason: *grabs Jane Austen book* *five hundred dollars spills onto his lap from inside the book* Jason: Jason: what the fuck, Bruce

Dick: *tired af* Dick: *pours himself the sugariest cereal in his cabinet* *a check labeled “for the dentist you will obviously need* Dick: Dick: I’ll deal with this once I’ve had coffee

Jason: *putting on a show for a few watching criminals* get outta the Alley, Bat! Bruce: I need information first, Hood. Jason: *internally thinking “this is not part of the script!”* what d’ya want? Bruce: the locations of Penguin’s goons. Jason: *rattles off locations, assuming Bruce just wants to draw out the act* Bruce: *nods solemnly and hands him four hundred dollars* for your trouble *disappears* Jason: Jason: *mutters under his breath* I swear to god Dick: *walking down the street* a little boy: hey mister!!! Dick: uh—hello? Are you okay, kid? What’s up? Boy: some dude in a really fancy suit asked me t’ give you this! *hands him an envelope that is obviously money* Dick: Dick: *smiling through gritted teeth* ah, thanks. Um where did you say he was? Kid: *shrugs* Dick: here. Just take the envelope to your mom, okay? Jason: *going through paperwork for a case* his goons: *knock on the door* Jason: come in goons: uh, hood, sir— Jason: *raises eyebrow* yeah? Goons: we just got . . . Paid? Jason: by who??? Ain’t I payin’ ya? Goons: exactly. So uh, we don’t know where the’ money came from. But it’s a shit ton. Jason: *sighs* and why are you even coming to me about this? Why not take the money for yourselves? Goons: there was a post it on th’ bills sayin’ “I’ll know if this does not reach Hood”. Writing was crap. Jason: *under his breath* fuck