It Is Okay To Completely Change Your Beliefs, Ideas, Intentions, Boundaries, Expectations And Desires.

"But not shaving is so unhygenic!" Girl I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be nasty, but the razor bumps and ingrown hairs near your urethra and anus beg and plead to differ. Your immune system is fighting for its life in ways you can't imagine.

I don’t care how problematic someone’s opinion is. They could spew the most racist, sexist trash in the world, but that person will never be worse to me than the cancel culture mob. Why? Because having an opinion isn’t an action. It can be ignored. It can be changed as the person grows. It is reversible.

You know what isn’t reversible? Murdering someone’s reputation. Ruining a life. Making death threats. Burying someone in shame with the FULL INTENTION of NEVER allowing them to become a better person, all so you can feel righteous for having “beaten the bad guy.”

Stop ruining lives. We need to learn how to express disagreement maturely. Cancel culture isn’t some ghostly all-powerful entity; it is individuals making the choice to add their screams to the mob. If you have participated, then YOU are culpable in this crime against human decency. And I know you are better than that.

We have court systems and juries to accuse people if they have committed a crime, if they have actively broken a law. Freedom of speech means having an opinion is not a crime, no matter how distasteful we find it. Hurting someone with words isn’t right, but it still is not a crime. And we should be thankful, otherwise everyone who has added their screams of hate and outrage on social media would be in prison.

Please. Let’s relearn how to love each other. Let’s relearn how to have grace with each other, educate each other, be good examples to each other so others will WANT to follow our example. No one has EVER genuinely changed their opinion because someone was degrading them as a person, and forcing everyone to follow popular opinion out of fear of public backlash isn’t freedom. It is tyranny. And it’s just going to lead to more hate.

Thank you for your time.

reminder that anger isn't a bad emotion!! in fact, no emotions are inherently bad. your anger is usually trying to protect you. it's a part of you that wants you to be treated right. of course you should always consider your actions, and you may feel angry at someone that hasn't actually done anything wrong in which case you shouldn't lash out at them, but you're still allowed to feel angry. listen to your anger, sit with it, hear it out. maybe it's not always reasonable but that's not it's job. you're allowed to be angry.

“Don’t lie to an over thinker. It never ends well. Such people have trained their brains to look for holes in a story. If shit doesn’t make sense, they think about it over and over until it makes sense. I’m that person.”

— Unknown

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.

Something doesn’t have to be important to you to be important. Just like you have things you value that other people don’t, or loved ones you care about that others have never even met, respect the fact that peoples priorities might lie elsewhere and that they find things important that you might not understand or see the point of. You become a better friend, family member, partner, roommate when you give people the space to be who they are and try to compromise whenever necessary.

“Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay”

— Unknown

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

things that seem small can be really brave:

getting up in the morning

asking for help

stopping when you know you’ve pushed yourself too hard

admitting when you were in the wrong

forgiving yourself

making an effort even when you don’t have the motivation

reaching out to others when you feel alone

+ much more