thelonersstuff

Latest Posts by thelonersstuff

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future. 

it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.

You’re responsible for your own development. You don’t have to wait until others forgive or validate you. You don’t have to hold yourself to an impossible standard to ‘prove’ that you’re a better person. All you have to do is decide that you are and back that up with actions, because what truly makes you a good person is the fact that you care about being one. Not others telling you that you are.

It's okay to not be satisfied with things, usually that's even when better ideas emerge. Life is a constant cycle of revisiting and reimagining and redoing. You don't have to like or accept everything just because it's been done.

You have probably heard about multitasking a lot, but have you ever heard about monotasking? Monotasking is intentionally doing only one thing at a time to help with being stressed & overwhelmed and give your brain a break. So when you are watching a show, don't text people at the same time. When you do the dishes, simply do only the dishes. It's very relaxing and untrains your brain from the constant flood of stimuli.

Normalize people with chronic illness taking sick days, coming in late, cancelling plans, not being able do do something in time. People's illness should not be held against them like a threat and people should not act surprised if someone who is chronically ill aczually falls ill. This is not "we are ok with you as long as your illness is under control and you function normally" this is "we are aware that you are chronically ill and will actually show understanding when your illness keeps you from performing".

You might have disappointed some people; this doesn’t mean you are a disappointment.

you might not have have met some people’s needs; this doesn’t mean you are a failure.

you might not have received the love you needed; this doesn’t mean you are unlovable. just because you did not meet other people’s expectations doesn’t mean you are fundamentally flawed or a waste of space. You are a human who is growing and learning and trying again.

And there will come a day when you suddenly go, oh. That’s why. That’s why it was worth living and sticking around. I understand.

And then the moment passes, and you might forget again. But that’s okay, because life is an abundance of such moments. They will come back <3

There is nothing wrong with your body or your age. Capitalism, media and corporations want you to feel bad about yourself so you'll be a better consumer and customer and make them tons of money. Loving yourself and filtering the media you consume is the sweetest form of rebellion.

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.

Give up trying to be the good girl. Create a reputation of being the girl whose respected. Allow this desire to guide and be reflected in your actions.

“ Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.”

Viktor E. Frankl, excerpt from ‘Man's Search for Meaning’

Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.

The Choices We Make

The Choices We Make

I realise now that the choices we make have eternal consequences, and just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should! God gave the law (His commandments) to show the Israelites that they couldn’t achieve all that was asked in their own strength. Yet, just like Israelites back then, we still have freewill, today, to make decisions in our lives, as to whether we are going to glorify God…

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🧠 Words can inspire, thoughts can provoke, but only action truly brings you closer to your dreams. 🧠

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.

Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.

obviously love isn’t easy, but there’s something to be said about finding the person that makes it feel that way. conversation is effortless, and silence is not uncomfortable. seeing them brings you a sense of peace you didn’t realize you were missing. conflict is not the end of the world because you know it can be resolved. trust is a given and you don’t have to wonder how they feel about you. it may not always be easy, but you know without a doubt that it’s worth it. it’s truly a beautiful thing.

“You don’t want to wake the dragon, do you?” // Don’t make me angry…

“The frightened child who sheltered in my manse died on the Dothraki sea…” // That frightened little girl died in Ann Arbor, MI; in Washington, DC; in Oxford, England.

“I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them, not tears.” // Don’t let them see, don’t let them know how much they hurt you. Stop wasting your emotional energy on people who don’t care about you. Attorneys don’t cry, they get revenge.

“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?” // Why did I become an attorney, if not to fight to make the world better for those who can’t?

“If I look back I am lost.” // Why I am I still waiting for apologies I know I’ll never get?

“She is the queen we chose.” // All I’ve ever wanted in my life is to be someone’s first choice. For once in my life, not to be an afterthought. To be the best friend, not just a friend. The one who’s always there, no matter what, swallowing her pride and her hurt, finally invited instead of just included. The one who’s always checking in on others, finally having someone check in on her. The one who’s always telling people she loves them, finally being told she’s loved too.

Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Can you tell me, among all of the people that you know, how many of them are genuinely happy?

I asked myself this question earlier in the day and the answer is quite disturbing.

Not that many. Just a few of them. Most of my loved ones are struggling. Are having a rough time. Are feeling stressed, anxious, unmotivated, sad. Need support, understanding, time. And that is okay.

What I want to emphasize is that I believe we should cherish every little joy, every pleasant day, every warm smile that we experience. Because they can be so rare. Collect those precious moments within your heart and who knows, one day, you might end up exactly where you've always wanted to be.

“how to read more” “how to read faster” “how to read daily” STOP STOP stop STOP this is not a competition. read slowly, read when you’re in the right state of mind, really savour it, read for pleasure, read for yourself. don’t read for performance, stats or to compare yourself to others

existentialism

it is believed that what you think or feel or believe has no impact or any meaning because in order to show who you are you need to act. Well, you don’t always act on just anything. you act on what you believe, your morals, who you think you are, etc. This makes me think about the quote “Life is what you make it”

Get out of bed, I doubt you have the energy to, but that gives you all the reason to. All this clutter in your room, and in your mind, clean it. Start doing things, and you will realize that you have more power over your mind than you think.

Gaining momentum

I will act as your wings if you fall and continue to carry you until you can carry yourself.

- Extract from the book i’ll never write

Han Kang, from The Vegetarian

If you are struggling to find your path, your passion, I just want you to know that you are not alone. I know it might feel that way. And I know it might seem like everyone around you has already found their dream job and is happy with what they are doing. I just want to remind you that you do not have to have it all figured out by the time you are in your twenties. Or thirties. Or even later. Struggling to find a job that you enjoy and are pasisionate about is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed or stressed about! We change throughout our lives - our interests, mindsets, hobbies, etc., they change. You do not have to find something in your teenage years and stick to it for the rest of your life. You are allowed to change your career path, you are allowed to experiment and take time to figure it all out, darling (I know that this is an unpopular opinion). So, if you feel lost and stressed out right now, I just wanted to let you know that it is okay. It is absolutely okay. There are so many options out there and it is okay to be overwehelmed. Breathe, my love. Ask yourself: Am I stressed because I am worried about my future or because I am worried about what other people think? Ultimately, your future is for you and for no one else. In the end, it is you that should be happy. So, please take your time to explore your passions. Be brave, be daring and I promise that you will find your way. I am rooting for you.

Actually writing<<<<<<sitting on my phone with my computer open in my lap

“Just because you’re used to it, doesn’t mean it’s okay”

— Unknown

People need to realize that not everybody has the time to message back. People have lives outside of social media. Said person isn’t ignoring you they might just be busy.

It is okay to completely change your beliefs, ideas, intentions, boundaries, expectations and desires. You are a dynamic being. You are “supposed” to explore more and change. Change is a core part of your expansion.