The Black

broken windows of missed opportunity timelessly hung in a frame of regret.

I cant stand seeing the old, young, weak, loved, sad, strong, ill, infected, handicapped, unwanted, un noticed, lonely, crushed, disfigured, the religious, meaningless, free, the willing or unwilling captive. the too thin, too thick, too rich too poor, too pretty, too ugly, the just right, the in between, the conscious, the dormant, the used and the users. goldy locks and all the bears. the pigs their wolf, the lines, loops and circles. and then I look in the mirror. I wonder where the hell do I belong? between the lines, out of the details, behind the scenes. the dark side of the moon. somewhere in limbo. just waiting for a green light. waiting for my time. but somethings wrong. I must not have heard the whistle. Was I ready? I was set. and there it goes. Turned around to find lights out, curtain drawn and doors closed.

Fashion by Sadan Vague

This artist on Instagram

... Or Give Me Death.

Im nobody, the faceless.

the one you forget and leave nameless.

the one who cares for the careless.

teaches fear to be fearless.

thatll pick you up and be proud of.

the one who will give it all up.

who will bare your pain for a smile.

and all the while....

Im nobody the faceless.

the one forgot, burred nameless

the one trying to find where this pain fits.

wears a mask where their face is

fast loosing their patience.

one thats tired just waiting for days end.

questions existence.

that just want to KNOW.

they made one persons day

then the pain was worth it.

but not taken away

.

life

Sometimes I get this voice in my head saying. "youre destroying yourself." and the only thing I can think is. I know.

learn from your mistakes.

Im getting old. The more you pay attention to time the more it matters to you. Hindsight is 20/20. maybe it wouldnt have been hind if Id have had my head on right. Though the past it cant be helped like our hearts had surely hoped. the future is a mystery fumbling in the dark with eyes closed. Grasping for the handles on the doors left wide open. Not in hurried disarray but with excitement and discovery. may fear be what I leave behind. Nothing in my pockets and nothing in my way.

My Hands, Your Lips, Our Eyes.

My hands, you use to say they were perfect.

That I had perfect hands.

I wonder if you even noticed them before you left.

I see my hands everyday, but I never really look at them.

At least I havnt in years. But… Im looking at them now.

Time is showing, the texture is changing.

Fine lines cover my knuckles.

There seems to be more wrinkles where they bend.

They say you can tell someones age by their hands.

I wonder if it’s a fair representation.

I wonder if what my hands where to you, is what your lips are to me.

Soft, pink, plump, warm, delicate, perfect.

I wonder if Id recognize them. If in fact I were to ever see them again.

If we ever see each other again.

Our eyes looked so similar.

Like the same eyes on a different day.

They knew each other so well.

But I wonder if they would recognize each other now? Or later?

Somehow I don’t think so.

A change in shade, hue, fine lines, and wrinkles.

Lines of happiness and pain. Everything in between.

One just as indistinguishable as the other.

I wonder if itd be they cant, or wont want to recognize.

Or maybe theyd wish they had never forgotten.

Someplace unfamiliar

with every step. 

I move further from this earth. 

This being ive become. 

clouds once looming over head,  

now just a haze someplace below. 

That place. 

One I never knew and will never know. 

Could never know. 

With every wish Ive held my breath. 

let down. 

Im running out, t 

urning blue as that very color fades from it. 

Those calming words you spoke to me. 

That calming voice, 

bringing sanity. 

as there once was… 

again nothing will be. 

Prolonging pain. 

Inducing change. 

a short glimpse at clarity. 

The night provides the day. 

fire, the beauty of the flame. 

And the ashes, 

the perfect place, 

a clean slate. 

a clean escape.

The water is drawn and Im all alone.

I look at myself as I take off my clothes.

I look pretty decent.

Its the real me that nobody knows.

I know the secrets that nobody can.

nearly flawless canvas on a broken man.

Im thinking of you as Im lowering in.

Warm relaxing water just under my chin.

the last time you made me smile.

The last time you made me laugh.

This is the last time Ill take a bath.

The sleep is coming. Im going to drown.

Im dreaming of you on the way down.

something is missing.

I looked in the mirror today. There was a stranger standing there, with familiar bone structure. I almost recognized him. He waved. He didnt say whether it was a hello or good bye. I wasnt sure. He wouldnt make eye contact, though I was looking right at him. I dont think he was from around here. He felt as though he belonged to another galaxy. There was nothing I could do. I turned… and walked away. No matter where you go, you take yourself with you. and I closed the door. and no one has heard from me since.