I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.
Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?
It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.
-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire
I was so fed up with school because it seemed like my best was not even enough. I gave it my all and I still received bad grades. Itās all good though, tomorrow is a new day and I will try again.
do you ever sabotage your own free time? like wtf is that about? i want to play this game or read or do something specific but instead i will just stare out the window or scroll mindlessly???
"I need days when I can be alone, to think, to daydream."
āMargarita Karapanou
12.24.2021
films finally came in today and I am so in love with them !!!
Marina Tsvetaeva, from Earthly Signs: Moscow Diaries, 1917-1922; āA Hero of Laborā
ļ¹ Text ID: Iāll cry about this earth in heaven too.ļ¹
sad to still see so many people talk about how gross signs of aging are and people aging āpoorlyā. those are signs of a life that has continued to live and it is a blessing. age is coming for you too btw
being on tumblr is just cozy... you know what i mean? instagram and twitter is all flashy and loud but tumblr is as cozy as my bedroom with scented candles on a cold November night
24.01.22, monday
woke up at 5pm today (oh no Iām basically nocturnal now) so this is a pic from going to acquire oats for a breakfast oatmeal, very cheery sunshine etc
(via)