vicky-poo
She/her✨21✨I'm a whore for 9'6 vampire milf😌
178 posts
Latest Posts by vicky-poo
the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:
tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"
sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"
mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"
once i master my adhd and stop believing that i’m waiting for my life to begin and accept what i cannot change and finish cleaning my room and stick to a productive schedule and drink enough water and meditate and organize all the important papers in the paper pile and start being consistent and say the nice things to myself and gain confidence its OVER for you bitches
she's a wolf. she's a stray mutt. she's a goddess. she digs up your turnips. she is literally The Sun. she likes boobs. she is herself reincarnated. she is judging you. she ate your lunch. she is blessing you. she is howling. she is feeding your cat. she is shredding demons. she is taking a nap. she sprouts flowers in her wake. she will smack you with a tree. she wields the elements with a paintbrush. she glows. she's a menace. she fished the moon out of a lake. she revitalized your crops. she's headbutting you. she's feeding the birds. she's beautiful and she is fresh out of retirement
Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!
my work for 1984 group project. the theme of my section was surveillance
what they don't tell you about making friends is you gotta be a lil annoying. you gotta push past the fear of "what if they don't want to talk to me" and simply ask someone how their day is going, send a meme. you cannot connect to people if you're both just awkwardly waiting for the other to start.
not to be a killjoy but it's still crazy to me that it's considered mean to be like "maybe you should read / play / watch the source material before creating fanworks and diving into the fandom" bc every time i see somebody going "i havent played disco elysium or know anything about it tbh but uwu here's harry and kim kissing" idk maybe you should engage with it. maybe you should play the anti-capitalist surrealist game where you investigate the murder of a mercenary who led the gang rape of a foreign girl and process that for a bit? and then you can do cutesy mlm or whatever idc. but like at the absolute bare minimum you should understand what the source material involves otherwise we get the phenomenon of people joining a dragon age server and wanting content warnings for like, mage racism. like it's fine to ship and transform the genre into whatever but if you arent comfortable with discussions of the actual source content itself then maybe the fandom isnt for you and a different one is. peace and love.
Obsessed with playing Mass Effect over and over again like this story will literally never end in anything but tragedy. Shepard might be an asshole or a saint, a caring friend or a hardened soldier, a complex enigma or an open book, and any combination or in between thereof.
And it doesn't matter because Jenkins always dies. And Ash dies, or Kaidan dies. And Shepard dies. And Shepard lives. And your crew dies. And the little boy is shot down. And Palaven burns. And Illium falls. And earth is ripped apart. And Shepard dies.
You can't save them. Nearly a dozen playthroughs of hard work, an endless uphill climb, and even if you get it picture perfect, take every quest, save every hostage and gun down every bad guy, your reward is the ugly choice, the mirror of war: how many lives will you sacrifice to take one more breath? Will you kill the geth you just painstakingly saved for a single inhale on the charred remains of an exploded station? Or will you let the narrative go the way it's meant to and just let Shepard die?
So Shepard lives, or Shepard dies, and the story always ends the same goddamn way. And you queue up Mass Effect 1 again because you have to.
Keep trying. Maybe it'll turn out this time.
just because someone can articulate their point better doesn’t make them right, it makes them articulated.
In light of the passing of Jimmy Carter, who spent his life post-presidency as a true humanitarian, sharing this from an interview in 2007.
A reminder of how bad things already were 17 years ago, and how little has changed.
FUCK THIS COUNTRY
Only being interested in career paths that require lots of higher education while also having really bad executive dysfunction due to AuDHD is such a weird combination.
Like, i want to learn everything and I'm so interested in everything, but i can't actually sit and study anything.
we need to start romanticizing doing household chores in tank tops and sweatpants in the same way that we romanticize knighthood and i am not fucking kidding
Favorite high school memory?
Leaving
Workbooks to improve executive functioning
Since the post I made last night about improving executive functioning was so popular, I figured I should pull these out of my comments and give them their own post, in case it's helpful for people.
I have worked with the publishers of all of the books linked below and can vouch for their psychology books. The publisher of most of them, New Harbinger, is an extremely credible evidence-based psychology publisher.
Obvious disclaimer that everyone's brain is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.
Is there evidence that executive functioning can be improved? Yes. This book appears to be a very thorough overview of the field, and contains both advocates and detractors of cognitive training, for a balanced perspective. From the table of contents, I would really recommend jumping straight to Part 3: Developmental Perspectives for executive functioning (EF) writ large.
Certain therapy modalities are specifically designed for skill-building in areas like impulsivity, decision-making, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility, all of which are EF skills or very dependent on EF skills. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is probably the best field to look at for these - skill-building in those areas is its core goal.
Some DBT workbooks:
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens
There are also a lot of workbooks for ADHD that are sometimes more broad but also can help with executive functioning:
The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life
The CBT Workbook for Adult ADHD: Evidence-Based Exercises to Improve Your Focus, Productivity, and Wellbeing
The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD
General executive functioning workbooks:
The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens
Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults: Exercises to Help You Get Organized, Stay Focused, and Achieve Your Goals
Hope these are helpful to someone!!
god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.
Wild things I have learnt in therapy:
When a child cries, parents are supposed to comfort them, not punish them
Parents are, in fact, supposed to want to spend time with their children
Children too have a right to privacy, meaning parents are not allowed to read their diaries etc and then punish them for the thoughts they found about
Children are allowed to be upset and cry
Children don't have to earn the love and attention from their parents by performing various things
Children are not supposed to be scared of going home and/or their parents
Children are not supposed to be physically abused and even a little bit of hitting is actually physical abuse
Parents are not supposed to expect that children are mentally as mature as other adults
Children are not supposed to be told that they're an accident, a burden, or something the parents regret
Children are not supposed to be scared and ashamed of themselves or feel like failures because of their parents
25 ADHD Affirmations
**I am capable and resilient, even when faced with challenges.
I embrace my unique way of thinking and processing information.
My worth is not determined by productivity or external achievements.
I am deserving of understanding and support from myself and others.
I acknowledge my strengths and celebrate my accomplishments, big and small.
I am more than my ADHD; I am a complex and valuable individual.
I deserve self-compassion, especially during difficult moments.
I am constantly learning and growing, and that is a significant achievement.
My worth is inherent, and I do not need to prove it to anyone.
I am not defined by my challenges; I am defined by how I overcome them.
I choose to focus on what I can control and let go of what I cannot.
My self-worth is independent of external judgments or opinions.
I am worthy of taking breaks and practicing self-care without guilt.
I have the power to create positive change in my life.
My journey is unique, and I honor the progress I've made.
**I am deserving of love and acceptance just as I am.
My journey with ADHD is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
I release the need for perfection and embrace my authentic self.
I am not defined by my mistakes; I learn and move forward.
My worth is not determined by the pace at which I accomplish tasks.
I choose to focus on my strengths and use them to my advantage.
I am a valuable and important part of my community and relationships.
My creativity and unique perspective bring value to the world.
I am resilient, and I have the strength to overcome obstacles.
I am worthy of setting boundaries that prioritize my well-being.
Making Showering Easier w/ Executive Dysfunction
On this account we cover how to do things that are "common sense" or generally untaught for the people who dont know. Shame-free. Today, we'll be covering tips to help shower when you struggle with executive dysfunction, a depressive episode or something similar. Executive dysfunction can cause tasks that seem easy and simple for most look insurmountable to people who suffer with it. Sadly, there's no quick fix, but below will be tips on making bathing easier.
Tip 1: Taking away the pressure - A big reason bathing can feel like such a daunting task is because you're looking at the big picture. A list of things you need or feel like you have to do; washing your body, your hair, shaving, going about your regular routine. Simply put, simplify your shower. Gauge what you can manage and cut out the rest. If you can only wash your hair or only wash your body its far better than nothing at all. If you cant do either, just letting the water run over you is enough.
There isnt any hard and fast rules you must follow while showering. You dont have the energy to stand? Then sit. You can invest in a shower stool or just sit right on the floor. "I cant shower, its 3am!" Says who? When motivation strikes, its best to ride that wave no matter what time of day it is. Is the process of getting ready after you shower the daunting part? Pick out comfortable clothes, air dry your hair or even plan to reward yourself afterwards with something you've been wanting to do. Thinking of being able to curl up on the couch comfortable, clean and cozy may strike some motivation.
Tip 2: Make it fun - This tip definitely isnt for everyone, but it may be helpful for some. Try to indulge in some things to make your showers more fun and increase the motivation to do it. Some quick, free things you can do are playing music or even setting your phone or tablet a safe distance away to have your favorite show or movie on in the background. You can even bring a refreshing drink or snack (fruit will never get soggy and you dont need to worry about getting sticky from popsicles!). If you're open to spending some money, there's countless other ways you could increase the motivation to shower. Fancy soaps, body scrubs, fluffy new loofahs, bath bombs or shower steamers can all leave you feeling eager to try them out. Check out the kids section, seriously. Bath tints, bathtub crayons, markers and paint can all be fun for people with a creative side. Tip 3: Dont - If none of these options sound appealing to you, then simply dont shower. There are other ways to freshen up without having to go through all the motions. Using dry shampoo can leave your hair unwashed for longer. Dampen a wash cloth with warm water and wipe down your armpits. Keeping a pack of baby wipes by your bed can help when you feel a spark of motivation. Below will be linked a few more resources and products that could help when you're having trouble. Remember, no matter how hard it may feel right now, things will get easier. Products: Bathtub Markers & Crayons Affordable Shower Speaker B&BW Bath & Shower Products 15 Pack of Shower Steamers Resources: 15 Hygiene Hacks SAMHSA’s National Helpline
nervous system regulation.
this post is especially dedicated for my fellow neurodivergents, specifically those who have add/adhd.
it’s normal for all of us to feel stressed sometimes. stress, as well as anxiety, are both feelings we all experience from time to time. however, dealing with a lot of stress is proven to have a negative impact on your body, more specifically your (autonomic) nervous system. by understanding how to regulate your nervous system, you will have an easier time managing stressful moments, and overall live a lot more balanced and peaceful life. ⋮ © credits
the nervous system.
your nervous system is the control center of your body. it is the part of your body that’s responsible for regulating your breathing, your heartbeat, your blood pressure, your digestion, and also the way you feel. the part of your nervous system that deals with the emotional wellbeing of yours is called "autonomic nervous system".
when feeling stressed, your body naturally reacts in a way to prepare you for the situation. it could respond through an increased heart rate, sweaty palms or the tension of muscles. nevertheless, our bodies cannot constantly withstand stress. continuously experiencing high levels of cortisol and adrenaline can lead to (sometimes serious) health issues.
a dysregulated nervous system.
a nervous system becomes dysregulated when the body cannot properly handle certain situations the way it used to. the body's way of responding to certain situations falls out of sync. it indicates a state of imbalance as you experience your body not being able to keep up with you.
signs.
these are some of the signs indicating you might have a dysregulated nervous system:
anxiety
easily irritated
memory problems
difficulty concentrating
headaches
quickly overwhelmed
mood swings
panic attacks
digestive issues
trouble sleeping
constant fatigue
chronic pain
persistent muscle tension
weakened immune system
stressors.
here is a list of stressors that are known to disrupt your nervous system balance:
chronic stress
burnout
traumatic events
poor sleep habits
unhealthy diet
no time for relaxation
support.
here are things you can do to help regulating your nervous system again:
meditating and resting
listening to music
dancing and moving
stretching and walking
eft tapping
massaging yourself
affirming
practicing mindfulness
reconnecting with nature
hugging someone or yourself
somatic shaking
rubbing ice cubes on face
taking a cold shower
sleeping and waking up early
grounding yourself
humming, singing and laughing
talking to someone
reading or listening
using a weighted blanket
drinking herbal tea
engaging in calming activities
deep breathing exercises
prioritising your sleep
with love, ella.
Change your beliefs, change your life.
I recently started doing something that feels really dumb at first, but... it's totally changing the way I view myself, y'all.
It's called Belief Work and basically, it's taking your old shitty beliefs and turning them on their head 100%.
So instead of "I will never make it," I now tell myself intentionally "I will definitely make it."
The process is simple:
List out all the negative beliefs you have about yourself, whether about work, relationships, money, life, etc.
On a second sheet, list the exact opposite belief.
These are your new sets of beliefs. Repeat them as often as you can remember, preferably once per day.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT BUT I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORKING FOR ME SO MAYBE IT'LL WORK FOR YOU???
I Need Screen Time at Night to Fall Asleep As an ADHDer
AJ’s Brain
One of the most frustrating things about ADHD is just the way that you absolutely cannot trust future you.
Like, I look at something and think "Oh, I'll deal with that later" like, no I won't. I absolutely won't. I should just do it now while I'm there. I should make plans to do something... Oh wait, will I have the energy to do that??? I was talking with a friend who told me I should come over for tea sometime, which I absolutely would love to do, but I said I was too tired. "Too tired for tea?" she asks. Like, no, I would love tea, but I'm too tired to know that I'll have the energy to get to the place and the only thing I hate worse than not doing things is being flaky on my friends.
Excellent video. If I had it in me to advocate for better access to ADHD medication in front of Congress this is the video that I’d either use in its entirety or at least summarize.
ADHD Study Tips
Novel Spaces
One of the biggest things that aids me in studying is a change of scenery. Although, many people suggest having a dedicated workspace for homework and studying. That isn’t the case for me because of my ADHD I need new novel spaces. Therefore I’ve created a few spaces within my home. Solely, because a lot of spaces such as cafe’s have too many distractions such as: customers in and out, constant changing noises, and unfamiliarity.
As the mini adhd coach states the need for novel things is because it provides dopamine and fuels ADHD interest based brains. Oftentimes following the dopamine can be harmful however by creating novel spaces it makes following the dopamine useful and takes advantage of it. It’s a great motivator and it’s a lot of fun to change things up.
New situations are the most motivating for those with ADHD. Each place creates a new situation. And as soon as one becomes boring you can switch to another. I tend to move from my kitchen table to my bedroom set up.
"Notes & Coffee" by VienoR27 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
"Kitchen Table Set Up" by VienoR27 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
"Sofa Set Up" by VienoR27 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
"Bedroom Set Up" by VienoR27 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0
Body Doubling
Another major thing that helps me focus is body doubling. Body doubling is when you have another person around doing some sort of task to help your brain focus better. For me I like to invite my coworkers who are in college over to body double or ask my boyfriend to body double with me. Additionally, body doubling is why I prefer to work at the kitchen table because my boyfriend can be cooking or cleaning while also acting as a body double.
Body doubling can also work in public spaces. When I went to college in person rather than online I achieved body doubling in the library. It’s also possible to virtually body double. I tend to do that with friends in discord. Study with me videos on YouTube have also helped with body doubling.
Reminders/Planners
Something else that helps but is often hit or miss with a lot of folks with ADHD is planners, reminders, calendars, etc. Some people forget about these lists of tasks as do I. However, I make it so obnoxious that I can’t and make sure it’s everywhere. I use a physical planner for almost everything from assignments, to-do’s, and due dates. I use my Google Calendar for major due dates as well as meetings and my work schedule. I then also use Momentum, a chrome extension for a to-do list. In addition to that I write out a schedule by the hour as well as a to-do list in order of priority.
Although mine is a bit excessive, I think having a physical as well as a digital is very helpful especially if the digital can send reminders.
Follow the Dopamine not the Priority
Despite the goal of getting things done in order of priority, sometimes it’s easier to start on the task that’ll get the dopamine flowing and get you into that flow state. More often than not doing that task and then the higher priority task is faster than sitting on the higher priority task for a lot longer because your brain simply doesn’t want to focus. Therefore, sometimes following the dopamine is the best option.
Create a Reward System
When studying for large bursts I tend to use my breaks as little reward periods. Usually because I’m studying with a coworker we devise the breaks in terms of assignment or when both of us are starting to zone out and get less productive. For us because our study sessions overlap meals we’ll do our rewards such as going and grabbing food or getting boba and things of that nature. Once it was a Target run to get supplies for a root beer float which was the following break.
Fidget
Find ways to fidget that allow you to remain focused simultaneously. I tend to like to bounce my feet or chew gum. However, depending on what you’re doing you can use putty, stress balls, fidget cubes, etc.
I think this helps with restlessness and remaining calm while doing homework. I’ve also found it helps me avoid getting too overwhelmed especially if I’m behind on tasks or have procrastinated.
Use Caffeine & Sugar but WISELY
I tend to use caffeine when studying. I’m currently not medicated due to other conditions. So I use caffeine to self-medicate in a way. For this to work though you have to find the sweet spot that doesn’t make you sleepy or overly anxious. So it tends to have to be sips that are tapering out the caffeine slowly.
Change your beliefs, change your life.
I recently started doing something that feels really dumb at first, but... it's totally changing the way I view myself, y'all.
It's called Belief Work and basically, it's taking your old shitty beliefs and turning them on their head 100%.
So instead of "I will never make it," I now tell myself intentionally "I will definitely make it."
The process is simple:
List out all the negative beliefs you have about yourself, whether about work, relationships, money, life, etc.
On a second sheet, list the exact opposite belief.
These are your new sets of beliefs. Repeat them as often as you can remember, preferably once per day.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT BUT I PROMISE YOU IT'S WORKING FOR ME SO MAYBE IT'LL WORK FOR YOU???
even more things that help me survive being alive part 3! (pt. 1/2)
eat directly out of the cooking pot or after putting food directly into tupperware after cooking so you don’t have to wash more dishes. and if you have leftovers you can just put the tupperware in the fridge
putting several plastic bags at the bottom of your trash can/waste bin so you can just take out a new one when the trash gets full. this helps me a lot in my bedroom and bathroom where the plastic bag hoard™ is too far away
keeping one of those transparent cold drink takeaway cups from a cafe and using that to drink my homemade coffee out of, just to make it feel like I’ve been somewhere
having a daily calendar that allows me to visually block out time for different tasks as my time-estimation is awful, and I think showering will take two hours
keeping a magnetic whiteboard on my fridge door that I write new grocery food items on so I know what I have to eat. no more rotting food bc you forgot it existed
a stock of passable quality readymade frozen meals, or frozen dumplings etc for when you want to eat but there are too many steps for even basic cooking
a personal one that I just kinda like - having a daily diary but not for complete sentences or fancy writing just very drily outlining what I did during the day. this creates smash hits such as “went to the store today. cried. watched encanto. cried again”
having a list of everything I could feasibly do on a day/hour off. includes all my hobbies, exercises or outdoor activities, language learning, friends (yes a list of your friends to remind u they exist), stuff I haven’t had time for, to-read/to-watch lists. otherwise I forget what’s out there!