zen-the-wizard

Latest Posts by zen-the-wizard

before you ask "are the gods mad at me?" THINK:

have you...

1. killed or maimed someone

2. killed or maimed an animal for purposes other than consuming/processing it

3. knowingly and purposefully hurled vile obscenities or insults at any god or gods

4. made it a life goal to be a terrible person

5. been a terf

IF YOU SAID NO TO ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS then girl you're fine go have a dr. pepper

a quick psa to anyone recently getting into greek mythology and is a victim of tumblr and/or tiktok misconceptions:

-there is no shame in being introduced to mytholgy from something like percy jackson, epic the musical or anything like that, but keep in mind that actual myths are going to be VERY different from modern retellings

-the myth of medusa you probably know (her being a victim of poseidon and being cursed by athena) isn't 100% accurate to GREEK mythology (look up ovid)

-there is no version of persephone's abduction in which persephone willingly stays with hades, that's a tumblr invention (look up homeric hymn to demeter)

-as much as i would like it, no, cerberus' name does not mean "spot" (probably a misunderstanding from this wikipedia article)

-zeus isn't the only god who does terrible things to women, your fav male god probably has done the same

-on that note, your fav greek hero has probably done some heinous shit as well

-gods are more complicated than simply being "god of [insert thing]", many titles overlap between gods and some may even change depending on where they were worshipped

-also, apollo and artemis being the gods of the sun and the moon isn't 100% accurate, their main aspects as deities originally were music and the hunt

-titans and gods aren't two wholly different concepts, titan is just the word used to decribe the generation of gods before the olympians

-hector isn't the villain some people make him out to be

-hephaestus WAS married to aphrodite. they divorced. yes, divorce was a thing in ancient greece. hephaestus' wife is aglaia

-ancient greek society didn't have the same concepts of sexuality that we have now, it's incorrect to describe virgin goddesses like artemis and athena as lesbians, BUT it's also not wholly accurate to describe them as aromantic/asexual, it's more complex than that

-you can never fully understand certain myths if you don't understand the societal context in which they were told

-myths have lots and lots of retellings, there isn't one singular "canon", but we can try to distinguish between older and newer versions and bewteen greek and roman versions

-most of what you know about sparta is probably incorrect

-reading/waching retellings is not a substitute to reading the original myths, read the iliad! read the odyssey! i know they may seem intimidating, but they're much more entertaining than you may think

greek mythology is so complex and interesting, don't go into it with preconcieved notions! try to be open to learn!

i’m sorry, y’all are using AI for offerings? …do you know how the religion you claim to be a part of started? how it lived? how it works?

Some little things I've learned over a decade of witchcraft:

If you are feel called to work but are tired/drained, sit outside. Take in all the energies around you. Nature can help charge you

Every witch does a little bit of a bunch of types of magic but sticks mainly to one or two in general. You usually won't be eclectic forever. You'll find what magics work best with you.

Never be lazy or cut corners with spirits. Always be respectful and always tell them to leave when you're done

When you see a plant or ingredient with a long list of properties, there are different things at play. Season of collection, the part of the plant, the health of the plant, etc all play a role in impacting which properties it will carry.

Don't call on spirits unless you have confidence and control

Be careful with sea/water magic. Get into it gently and slowly until you have the energy figured out because it can get out of hand quickly.

Adding a little pinch of magic into your breakfast can make a major difference in your day.

Your personal emotions/feelings over something will impact a work

Planting some plants is good, not only to have a garden, but the dirt helps cleanse you too. Get all dirty and muddy. It's good for ya

Not all trees are nice

The more you listen to your intuition, the easier it will be to tell it apart from your anxieties and worries

Incense is very easy to make which is why it's usually cheap to buy. But you can find a million tutorials online on how to make your own personal incense which is great if you want a spell to take effect over a while but also want to infuse the fire energy in it.

The more you work with something the better feel you get for it. Cinnamon goes in almost everything i cook and most of my spells because me and cinnamon just get right along

Your path is yours and no one else's. It will look like yours and no one else's

Crystals for banishing someone:

Any of em if you throw em hard enough

Witchcraft Exercise - Spring Cleaning

There’s a marked tradition of cleaning and airing out the house in the springtime when the weather warms. As you’re dusting and tidying and getting rid of winter stagnation, take some time to do the same with your craft.

Clean and organize your workspace. If you have an altar space or a shelf where you keep bottles and jars and the like, remove everything from the surface and give it a good dusting. Take the opportunity to rearrange things or swap out pieces if it suits you. If you have ritual tools that don’t often get cleaned, check them for signs or rust or wear and give them a bit of love. Repair things that need fixing, if you can. If you have an iron cauldron that you use for fire magic, get a wire brush or some steel wool and gently remove any burnt residue left inside.

Sort through your supplies. If you have lots of candles and crystals and small items laying about, consider getting some small totes or craft organizers to keep things tidy. Divided storage boxes for beads or scrapbooking supplies are great for small items, and shoebox-sized caddies are perfect for taper, chime, and votive candles. Organizing things will make your space easier to navigate and also gives you a proper idea of what you have on hand. Which might help you resist impulse purchases the next time you’re out shopping for witchcraft supplies. While you’re tidying, be sure to discard any rubbish, candle stubs, wax blobs, herb scraps, bits of string, incense bases, and so forth that might be cluttering up the place. 

Discard things that are too old or worn to be useful. Dried plants and seasonings can usually be kept for 1-3 years if they remain in sealed containers. If they have no scent anymore or smell musty or mildewy, discard them and sanitize the container. If you’re using supermarket spices, you can use the expiration date on the container as a guide. Powdered material will likely last longer than whole herbs or cut-and-sifted material. One helpful tip is to put a purchase date on packets or bags of herbs when you buy them, or to put a little date sticker on your jars of herbs when you refill them. (Anyone who’s worked in food service will probably be familiar with the concept of container dating or day-dotting.)

If you make oils or tinctures or suchlike in your practice, check on these as well. Make sure nothing has gone off or lost its’ potency. Day-dotting your potion containers will help with this as well. A simple sticker with the name of the brew and the date it was bottled will help you keep track of your supplies and know when something needs to be tossed and replaced. (You can also print labels with the ingredients and purpose of the brew if you’re feeling super organized.)

Reorganize your books and resources. Review what's there and see if there are any materials that need to be weeded out, donated, or discarded. Remember that as you grow and progress, some things will become obsolete or may show themselves to be unhelpful or inaccurate. It's okay to remove things from your resource library that no longer serve you if you want to make some space on the shelves.

You can also cleanse your workspace and/or components while you’re tidying if you wish. It doesn’t have to be a full clean-slate-everything-must-go cleansing, but it can be helpful to just clear out stagnation or bring in some freshness and vitality.

Happy Witching! 🧼

Want more witchcraft exercises? Check out the masterpost here and visit my shop for spell kits, books, magical powders, and more!

(If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar, tune in to my monthly show Hex Positive on your favorite podcast app, or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

Grimoire - Decolonizing Witchcraft

Racist Stereotypes About Magic What you mean to say: Karma Edition Depth and Cultural Appropriation in Witchcraft Racism, Spirituality, and Witchblr Making Magic More Inclusive Accidental Appropriation Closed Traditions Aren't a Monolith. CHAKRAS (are not what you think they are) Chakras - What they really are

More related posts at: For Pagans/Witches to Beware of My Posts Related to My Practices Religions and Deities

A spell to keep away fears of the dark and bad dreams!

Found in Cassandra Eason's book 1001 spells, under Spells for Kids

What you will need: A flashlight

Timing + place: After dark, in your bedroom

The Spell:

With the light on, walk around your bed three times (clockwise if possible) saying, "Boggitis, bogey man, scaries and hairies, you don't worry me; so out of my bedroom, and away with the faeries!"

Open and shut the door three times saying "Out you go!"

Before you get into bed, switch on the flashlight and turn off the bedroom light. Swirling the flashlight all around the room, say "Old moon, New moon, you're not very clear. Buy some new batteries and shine them down here."

Now shut your eyes and imagine the brightest moon possible as you fall asleep.

Sigil Crafting

Sigils were the first magic I ever learned. As an artist, symbolism and aesthetic are things that are incredibly important to me. I have used multiple ways of crafting sigils, but I have created my own personal way of creating sigils using a method writers have used in poetry- the stream of consciousness technique.

I put my pen to paper, call upon what I wish to make a sigil about, and let the pen create what I need.

These are the sigils that I use the most frequently (you may use them if you wish).

You may notice that my sigils in the form of arrows. Arrows are a symbolic representation of aiming and shooting for something, and I love the vertically long look because I like to draw these sigils on my forearms.

I created all of these with stream of consciousness drawing.

It is almost like a form of meditation for me. Allowing myself to simply create what I think “focus” or “protection” looks like visually makes the end results beautiful and meaningful for me.

I do have a few running themes. Here are a few symbols I love to throw in.

These are used a ton in my art.

So here is a step by step of what to do-

1. Clear your mind for meditation. (Tip- if you have crystals that symbolize your intent, surround yourself with them. And example would be having a rose quartz for love on you or near you.)

2. Put your writing utensil to your paper. (I recommend using paper before digital.) Have your energy flow from your body to the focus of the tip of the pen/pencil, repeating the intent you wish the sigil to have.

3. Make a first draft of your sigil by allowing your hand to simply move as you think of your intent.

4. Make as many reiterations you wish until you have something you feel satisfied with. (Editing is a big part of writing as well.)

5. After a few tries making different sigils, make a list of your own common symbols you see popping up in your sigils.

And there you have it. If you are not comfortable, try mixing this technique with others to find what works best for you, or simply only use other techniques and make sigil arrows. I think using the look of an abstract arrow helps with directing intentions.

You can also request a sigil from me if you so choose in my inbox, for I shall be making them for anyone who asks for free.

I hope you find yourself using this technique of stream of consciousness to create wonderful sigils.

FJÓLDÖYSTAVE will cause someone to slowly curse themselves as they spread lies.

The curse of the Fjóldöystave will cause the target to experience an increasing sense of “being dead inside”, growing in intensity every time a lie or false rumour is spread by the person.

The staves themselves are to be painted onto a piece of parchment or paper with ink mixed from charcoal and spit. The parchment is then folded up and wrapped in black cloth. Once this is done, the staves are to be hidden inside, or if not possible; simply near the home of your target.

The purpose of this is not to stop the lies from being spread, but rather cause the target to start even more lies and rumours. As this escalates, the lies will also become gradually more and more incredible, to the point where others will start to realise the obvious falseness and cause the web of lies to collapse in on itself, taking the target’s ego and all credibility with it.

FFFF

Literally 🔮

Regardless if you are a writer, artist, musician, or even just a web developer, losing your muse and finding yourself in a creative flunk just sucks. It’s frustrating and can bring some of us to pull our hair out. For some of us, it can mean the difference of having a job and not. So, here’s a little something to help us out during those times.

Spell to Bring Creativity Back to Your Life

Ingredients

1 yellow candle

1 purple candle

1 blue candle

Rose Quartz

A sample of your medium of your craft (For example, a pencil for writing or sketching, a paintbrush for painting, etc)

(Optional) A mint or citrus scented incense or candle

Steps

Cleanse yourself before starting the spell as well as your magickal and creative work spaces

Being mindful of any rules against burning stuff as well as common sense candle safety, light the blue candle. Then, light the purple candle to the right of it and then light the yellow candle in-between them. They should be arranged in the shape of a triangle. See the diagram below.

Place the scented candle (optional) and rose quartz in the center of the triangle and light the scented candle

If you are able, sit comfortably in front of the candles and meditate. Relax. Think about a past project. Remember the process of starting it, working on it, and completing it. Now, think of your present projects and where you are with them. Visualize yourself physically finishing them. Think about your future projects. Visualize yourself starting, working on, and finishing them.

Pick up the rose quartz and hold it over your naval and recite the following with confidence: Just as past, present, and future gods, I am a creator. Nothing else can create what I create just as I do. The fruits of my labor manifest at my will, and just like those gods, nothing can nor will prevent me from loving my creations or my love to create and, by my word, I will keep creating

Meditate for as long as you feel necessary then blow out the candles and clean up your ritual. 

Focus and Organization Sigil 🥀

“I am focused and organized.”

Requested by @the-troijan-horse

Feel free to use, like, and reblog, but please don’t remove my tag.

Open for commissions via PayPal, so feel free to reach out.

Buy me a coffee at: ko-fi.com/thegraywitchsigilist (not linked because Tumblr kills linked posts)

Blessings ~ 🌙

Anxiety Sigil 🦋

“I am untroubled by anxiety.”

Requested by @tardis-auto-pilot

Feel free to use, like, and reblog, but please don’t remove my tag.

Open for commissions via PayPal, so feel free to reach out.

Buy me a coffee at: ko-fi.com/thegraywitchsigilist (not linked because Tumblr kills linked posts)

Blessings ~ 🌙

requested by : @ms-circely

it was a good request since i think a lot of us need this.

dm or give me an ask for sigil requests !!

Liminal Spaces in Witchcraft

First of all, what is a liminal space? A liminal space refers to a place or time that is in a period of transition between two phases. These are usually places where reality feels altered because you are neither moving forward or backward, like a rest stop. The word liminal originates from the Latin word limens, meaning threshold. These places often give off a sense that time stands still and that you are experiencing some sort of reality shift. 

        In magic and witchcraft these spaces are considered to be the boundary between our world and the other, it is known as “the in-between”. These places are considered areas of great magic because it is believed this is where the veil is thin. These places are great for divination, spirit work, meditation and astral travel; they are ideal for hedge witchcraft.

Times & Spaces of Liminality:

crossroads manmade or natural

river, creek or lake shores/ beaches

hallway/corridor/stairwells/landings/doorways

graveyards

dawn, dusk, afternoon, midnight

valleys

forest glades

many more!

      Samhain/Halloween is considered the best time to communicate with spirits and faeries because of its liminality, it is a time of transition between autumn and winter. Irish folklore tells that this is the day faeries and ghosts come out to play because of the veil thinning. The equinoxes and sabbats like Beltane and Imbolc are also days of liminality because the time of day and night are equal (equinoxes) or it is a transition between seasons.  

       Mental states of liminality are also times of spirit communication. While being in a meditative state we are in a state of transition between our concious and sub-concious minds, this is where we sometimes experience astral projection or messages from spirits. People often experience spirit while falling asleep because this is another state of liminality. 

     In my craft I often practice in liminality in order to connect with the faerie realms.

-Moonlight 🌙

Witch Intern by Jeremy Jhang

Y’all asked for it so y’all gonna get it! I’mma start off with the barebones essentials and work my way to basic definitions. Sit down on something comfy and get yourself your warm beverage of choice and maybe grab a notebook because here goes.

What are runes?

Runic alphabets have been around since about 150 AD and used as a writing system by a lot of Germanic languages. These systems were eventually phased out, slowly but surely, with the progressive Christianisation that started around 700-1100 AD. The three most commonly known (and used?) Are the Elder Futhark, the Younger Futhark and Futhorc.

Runes aren’t, themselves, broadly meant for divination, thought there are a few passages in the Eddas that mention Odin “finding” and using them.

Alright, so which alphabet should I use?

Whichever one you want! I prefer using the Elder Futhark, because it’s the first alphabet I learned and got familiar with, but that doesn’t at all stop you from using the Younger Futhark or Futhorc. I’d heavily suggest making sure you read up on the differences in each alphabet though; Ansuz, for example, won’t look the same, mean the same or even be called the same from one alphabet to another. 

Familiarize yourself with each of them if you want/can, and choose based on your own preferences and criteria. Always work with what feels best for you!

But I’m not really familiar with Germanic traditions / I’m a baby witch, should or can I use runes for divination?

This is the concept that got my goat real good the first time. You do not, in any way, shape or form, need to be experienced to cast runes. This is a notion that is outdated and perpetuated by gatekeepers and exclusionists. No one gives a flying flip how long you’ve been practicing witchcraft, or if you even practice at all!

Divination should be seen as a tool to further yourself and/or your craft. It can be used by itself or in conjunction with other activities, practices or beliefs. I was 15 when I started learning about runes (dear god that was literally over ten years ago) and I had no idea what I was doing back then. I read up as much as I could about the system I was wanting to use and, once I was comfortable with it, I started doing small readings.

It shouldn’t matter how new or familiar you are to divination, rune casting or Germanic traditions. If rune casting feels right to you, you are more than free to use whatever divination method feels right to you.

What should I do before I start a reading?

As a Norse Pagan, I usually invoke my patron deities (Baldr and Loki, in this case), as well as Odin and Freyja, sometimes Gullveig/Heiðr because reasons. I have no idea whether or not this has any actual bearing on the reading itself, as mine were as accurate before I converted as they are now.

Making sure you’re in a quiet and/or comfortable space is also a good idea, even if that just means popping in some earphones and listening to something that makes you focus and feel calm.

This is also a good time to mention that cleansing your runes (stone, bone, wood or otherwise) is a very good idea. I typically do this with candles, incense, a bowl of water and a point of quartz for each element. I don’t do this nearly as often as I probably should, since most people suggest cleansing them after each reading… but, whatever, being lax with that hasn’t bitten me in the ass so far. So if you’re a spoonie, don’t worry: cleanse your runes when you feel they need to be cleansed, and that’s it.

Alright, I think I’m ready; how do I start reading?

Let me start by saying that the bullshit about never reading yourself? It’s just that. Bullshit. Do readings on yourself if you want to. Who the hell is going to stop you. Do whatever you want.

On that note, there are a few ways to cast runes, though these probably aren’t close to being the only ones: 

Intuitively choosing the stones Lay the runes down on a flat surface and let your hand hover over them and pick out the ones that feel right. You can either pick them in order of the spread you’re using, or place the runes where you feel they belong on the spread.

Throwing the stones Make sure you have a large flat surface to work with (preferably the floor honestly) where you won’t drop, scatter or lose a rune. You can use a mat underneath, and read the stones that fall on the corresponding positions in the spread or circle. (You can find many of these with a quick google search, or make your own mat!) Otherwise, you can take the first stones you see facing up and lay those out according to your spread.

Picking them blindly Either you or the person you’re reading pull stones blinding out of a pouch, bag or other container, and lay them out according to the spread you’re using. Pretty straightforward.

If you can think of another method, literally nothing is stopping you from using that instead. The runes are acting as a universal translator for whatever it is you’re tapping into. They’re just a tool to receive a message. How you choose to receive that message is completely up to you!

So I’ve got my runes laid out, now what?

Now comes the fun part. I can only really give you a good run-down of the Elder Futhark, and though it’s a good starting point, I would highly advise you do your own research on whatever alphabet you want to use. Wikipedia is a great place to start, but don’t stop there: look at several different websites and lists and compare. Combine and condense the information for yourself, and get to learn the definitions and meanings for yourself!

ᚠ Fehu • catle wealth, money, hard work paying off, can represent spiritual wealth reversed: effort gone to waste, natural and/or financial loss, greed

ᚢ Uruz • ox physical strength and speed, great energy, courage, masculine reversed: physical weakness, illness, violence, misdirected aggression

ᚦ Thurisaz • thor reactive, destructive and/or defensive force, tendency towards change reversed: dangerous compulsions, betrayal and malice, lies, spite

ᚨ Ansuz • of the Æsir  revelations, intuition, signs and signals, wisdom, power of words/names reversed: misunderstandings, delusions and vanity

ᚱ Raido • chariot physical/spiritual journeys, transition, seeing the bigger picture reversed: crisis, maybe due to stagnation, unwanted disruption

ᚲ Kaunan • torch creativity and inspiration, power of transformation, power of life reversed: instability, lack of creativity, false hope revealed, disillusionment

ᚷ Gebo • gift gifts in the form of sacrifice or generosity, contracts, partnerships reversed/opposed: greed, isolation and dependence, over-sacrifice

ᚹ Wunjo • joy comfort, pleasure, companionship, possibility of going over the top reversed: sorrow and alienation, growing distance, raging frenzy

ᚺ Hagalaz • hail wrath of nature, destruction for the sake of creation, natural order reversed: natural disasters, powerlessness, suffering

ᚾ Naudiz • need strength/growth from hardships, survival, determination reversed: deprivation and emotional starvation, constraints/restraints

ᛁ Isaz • ice challenges and frustration, psychological block, anticipation reversed/opposed: can oppose other runes with malice and treachery 

ᛃ Jera • good year hard work is fruitful, peace, happiness and relief, breaking the cycle reversed: sudden setbacks and bad timing

ᛈ Pertho • vagina secrets, mysteries, undiscovered abilities, choosing your own path reversed: stagnation, isolation and loneliness

ᛇ E/ihwaz • yew tree strength, stability, endurance, trustworthiness, your goal is realistic reversed: confusion, dissatisfaction and weakness of the mind

ᛉ Algiz • elk shield, the instinct to protect yourself/others, connection to the gods reversed: hidden dangers, loss of link to the divine, turning away

ᛊ Suwilo • the sun success and goals achieved, you have the power you need to succeed reversed/opposed: deception, false goals, gullibility, divine wrath

ᛏ Tiwaz • tyr honour and leadership, authority, success in competitions reversed: artistic block, over-analysis and sacrifice, imbalance/conflict

ᛒ Berkana • birch tree fertility in a broad sense, personal/physical growth, new beginnings reversed: family/relationship issues, anxiety over loved ones, abandon

ᛖ Ehwaz • horse steady and gradual progress, teamwork/loyalty, relationships reversed: reckless haste and its consequences, restlessness

ᛗ Mannaz • mankind the self, the human race, your attitude toward others and vice-versa, social awareness, altruism reversed: mortality, self-deception, cunning and manipulation

ᛚ Laguz • water literal/metaphorical flow, imagination, the unknown, chance of loss reversed: confusion/uncertainty, may be making the wrong choice

ᛝ Ingwaz • probably freyr warmth and love in general, tying loose ends, relief, freedom to move reversed: moving without change, fruitless effort, helpelessness

ᛞ Dagaz • dawn breakthroughs and clarity, security, power to change and grow, the ideal reversed/opposed: endings and coming round full circle

ᛟ Othila • inheritance ancestral property, what is most important, spiritual heritage and safety reversed: slavery, homelessness, bad karma, what one is unwillingly bound to

Phew! What a list. These are just brief descriptions and meanings that I’ve been able to compile and condense over the years.

But, what does “opposed” mean?

I see where you’re coming from. As a baby diviner, I, also, was confused by this. But let me explain how I’ve come to understand it! 

Sometimes, if you’re doing a set spread, you’ll have a spot for things like, “what will oppose you”, or “what you need to avoid”. Things like that. If, say, a rune like Suwilo was found in something like that, you’d want to try and keep a sharp mind to avoid deceptions or letting yourself be too gullible.

When runes don’t have a reversed form, their position in your spread will usually determine what they mean. (Though really this is true for literally any rune.)

Anything else I should know?

The best advice I can ever give anyone is to always do what you feel is right. If you find yourself wondering, “Should I do this? Is this right?” If you question yourself at all, you should probably not to the thing and go with something else.

It’s also important to mention that the names I have for the runes may not be the ones that you’ve learned to know them by; a lot of runes can go by different names depending on who you ask and where you look. Do your research, and know the runes by the names you feel are best! (And preferably historically accurate.)

As always, if you have any questions regarding runes and how to read them, please ask me! My ask box is literally always open and almost always empty.

ᚺᛖᛁᛚᛚ ∙ ᛟᚲ ∙ ᛋᛇᛚᛚ

I'll add one more thing-

If you are not Christian/Specifically believe in Christianity or associated Abrahamic religions (like Judaism or Islam), Then you do not believe in genuine "Demons".

Demons (also called iblis) are an Abrahamic concept. Sure not every instance of "inherently evil creature/spirit/being that is in service of a greater evil, usually in the form of a bigger/stronger inherently evil creature/spirit/being" is tied to Abrahamic beliefs but Demons specifically are inherently part of their religious practices.

Demons, down to the first usage of the word, are tied to their description as servants and spawn of The devil, again, another inherently Christian concept.

You are free to believe what you want to believe but I'm tired of white American witches talking about demons and angels and demonic possession then scream at me when I point those are Christian concepts. Hell, due to my own beliefs as a native American, I don't even believe in inherently evil spiritual beings.

That's all I have to say, if you aren't Christian then you don't believe in demons aka spawns of the devil aka the adversary of God. Literally believing in them means you have to believe in the existence of God and if y'all say you don't, you gotta let demon leave you vocabulary.

If you mean evil spirit or even just evil creature... Just say evil creature???

PSA - Will It Summon Demons?

Things That Are Not Likely To Summon Demons And Spirits Into Your Home:

Practicing a pagan religion

Practicing no religion

Skipping religious services

Disobeying your parents

Disobeying oppressive religious rules

Reading books about other religions

Reading books about witchcraft

Casting most types of spells, including hexes

Practicing divination

Reading tarot cards

Owning crystals

Having deity statues

Maintaining an altar

Adopting a black cat

Owning or wearing a pentacle or other pagan symbol

Playing with Ouija or other talking boards

Putting up fantasy or non-Christian artwork

Celebrating pagan holidays

Celebrating Halloween

Watching scary movies and TV shows

Reading horror novels

Playing tabletop RPGs

Playing LARP games

Playing video games

Reading fantasy books

Reading comics and graphic novels

Listening to heavy metal music

Dyeing your hair

Dancing

Swearing

Drinking

Dressing however you please

Having tattoos and piercings

Engaging in premarital sex

Being queer

Being trans

Participating in activism for progressive social causes

Things That Might Summon Demons And Spirits Into Your Home:

Literally summoning demons and spirits into your home

This has been a Public Service Announcement.

The Great Handfasting Project: Secular Wedding Planning Books

While historical sources about pre-Christian weddings and books written by modern pagans can give you a lot of good ideas for your ceremony, many of them don't cover the most stressful part of getting married: planning, budgeting, scheduling, and managing a modern wedding.

My fiance and I decided in December to move our wedding date up from August of 2024 to August of 2023 -- cutting our planning time from nineteen months to just over seven months. This meant we had a lot less time than intended to make a guest list, make a budget, book a venue, send out invitations, buy our outfits, arrange catering for the reception, and all the other things you have to do to make a wedding happen. It also meant that our timeline was a little more rushed than we'd originally intended.

Because our timeline had suddenly shrunk, we decided to prioritize planning the reception first, then start writing a script for our ceremony after we'd nailed down reception details. We did this because we knew our reception was going to have more than three times as many guests as our ceremony and would be what we spent most of our budget on. Our reception is also going to be 100% secular out of consideration for guests who may not be comfortable attending a pagan ceremony but who still want to support us.

I cope with new and stressful situations by reading about them. Research is the balm that soothes my worries and the foundation that lets me build my own kickass plans. When we decided to move up our wedding date, I immediately went out and bought a couple of books to help me navigate the many big and small decisions I'd have to make in the coming months.

The Everything Guide to Micro Weddings by Katie Martin

When I first started looking into planning my own wedding, I quickly learned that what my fiance and I wanted to do is called a "micro wedding." According to Katie Martin, a micro wedding is any wedding or commitment ceremony with fewer than 50 guests. I feel like most pagan weddings end up falling into this category. (Something about pagans makes us prefer small, intimate gatherings, I guess?)

Pros

Katie Martin is actually a professional wedding planner, so this book very much comes across as expert advice from an industry professional.

There's lots of good, practical advice about logistics, which is exactly what I wanted. This book taught me how to make a wedding planning spreadsheet, and I love that.

I like that the author includes advice for dealing with family members' expectations for your wedding day, especially when they would have liked to see you do things differently. I think a lot of this advice is relevant to pagans whose family doesn't understand why they want a handfasting, or anyone else who has to gently break it to their grandmother that they aren't having a church wedding. I felt like these sections did help prepare me to defend our decision to do a small, casual wedding and my decision not to have my biological father present even though several of my siblings are still close to him.

This book is LGBTQ+ inclusive!

I also love that the author gives practical advice for interfaith and multicultural weddings, including alternatives for when one or both religions doesn't allow interfaith ceremonies.

I like that the author addresses guest dietary needs in the sections on planning the menu. For example, she recommends asking guests about food allergies before finalizing the menu, making sure to have vegan/vegetarian options, and offering non-alcoholic drinks for toasts. As a vegetarian with Celiac Disease, I appreciate this and can testify that it's unfortunately not something every wedding planner thinks about.

This book was written after the pandemic and includes tips and ideas for celebrating during quarantine, which is really helpful.

The appendix has literal checklists you can use to plan different parts of your wedding.

Cons

Katie Martin is a professional wedding planner who specializes in destination weddings, and it shows. She discusses destination weddings a lot in this book. Maybe it's just because I'm not planning a destination wedding, but I felt like that topic could have been its own book instead of being lumped into this one.

The "environmentalist" politics of this book are inconsistent. At one point, Martin says that one of the main draws of micro weddings is that they have a smaller carbon footprint than bigger weddings, which I'm sure is true. But just a few chapters later, she gives a list of potential locations for destination weddings that includes Hawaii and other places where both the environment and Native people are seriously harmed by tourism. This is a very minor gripe, but it annoyed me and felt a little bit like greenwashing.

I wish Martin gave price estimates for the things she suggests. I understand that she probably didn't want to date her book by including exact numbers, but a rough estimate would have been helpful. There are almost no numbers given, and when the author says that Option X is cheaper than Option Y, she doesn't say how much cheaper it is. This makes it hard to think about budgeting while reading.

It really rubbed me the wrong way that this author subscribes to the outdated etiquette of referring to married women as "Mrs. [husband's name]" in invitations and programs. Martin even says divorced women should be addressed as "Mrs. [ex-husband's name]" if they haven't remarried! This is based on the incredibly patriarchal idea that women's identities are defined by their husbands, and if I received a wedding invite that addressed me this way, I wouldn't go. There are also no alternatives given for addressing same-gender couples. This just feels like an incredibly old-fashioned and misogynist inclusion in a book that is otherwise very modern.

Overall rating: 4/5 stars

Would I recommend it? Yes, especially if you're doing most of the planning for your wedding yourself.

Offbeat Bride by Ariel Meadow Stallings

When my fiance and I first decided to (literally) tie the knot, Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride) was an incredibly helpful source of inspiration. It was the first time I'd ever seen photos of polyamorous weddings, which I immediately sent to all of my partners with lots of hearts and crying emojis. It's also a goldmine of inspiration for queer weddings, nonbinary/genderqueer weddings, disabled weddings, and so much more. So when I learned that the site's founder had written a wedding planning book, I knew it would be an invaluable resource.

(Note: This book has been revised twice since it was originally published. The version I read is the third edition, which is the most recent version.)

Pros

This book addresses things I've never seen talked about in other wedding planning resources, like the conflict of hating the beauty industrial complex for making money off insecurities they created vs. wanting to look nice for your wedding photos. (Because even if you don't hire a photographer, someone is gonna take photos.) I loved this book's "do what you gotta do" approach and the emphasis on feeling comfortable and beautiful on your special day.

I cannot stress enough how much I appreciate the section titled "A Big-Bride Survival Guide." As a fat girl, lemme tell you: as stressful as shopping for wedding outfits already is, it's more stressful with a bigger body. And don't even get me started on the subtle (and not-so-subtle) weight loss comments from relatives. I loved that this book includes practical advice for how to navigate the entire process as a fat bride (or groom, or spouse).

This is by far the most LGBTQ+ affirming wedding planning book I've read so far. There's an entire chapter dedicated to queer weddings, but advice for queering your wedding is sprinkled throughout the rest of the book as well. "Queer wedding" also isn't only defined as two men or two women getting married. There's advice for bisexual and pansexual weddings (and the author identifies as bisexual!), asexual weddings, transgender weddings, and nonbinary/genderqueer weddings. There's even a short but sweet section on polyamorous commitment ceremonies, both for groups of more than two people who are "getting weddinged" and for polyamorous couples who may not be out to all their guests but still want to find subtle ways to include their other partners. I also really liked that the author acknowledges the struggles and hardships faced by queer couples (and throuples and more) and the importance of celebrating queer community, resilience, and chosen-family.

I really appreciate the warning about the pitfalls of wedding planning apps, magazines, and social media. The author warns readers about the risk of having so much inspiration you fall into the hole of choice paralysis or keep redoing things you already finished. She also warns about the temptation to compare your wedding to someone else's. I loved this gentle reminder to be mindful in how we engage with the wedding planning industry. Here's a wonderful direct quote: "Remember, the wedding tech is here to serve you. You are not here to serve it."

There's an entire chapter on disabilities and accessibility! I really appreciated this inclusion, and I found the advice genuinely helpful as I plan a wedding that accommodates my own chronic illnesses, my fiance's and my ADHD, several guests with mobility issues, and other guests with various other health conditions and invisible disabilities.

I loved the chapter on self-care and navigating wedding planning anxiety. Planning any big event, but especially one as legally, ideologically, and culturally loaded as a wedding, is really stressful, even if you're doing a small celebration with just close friends and family. I appreciated the acknowledgement that feeling stressed or anxious is both normal and common, and I loved that the author talked about the ways this stress can affect your physical body as well.

Overall, this is a really great book with excellent advice, and it really does cover every single aspect of wedding planning.

Cons

It's actually really hard for me to think of stuff I dislike about this book, if I'm being honest. There were a few typos, but nothing atrocious.

This book is written from the bride's perspective. The author includes lots of stories about her own wedding, and she is a woman who married a man, which definitely shaped her experience. Like I mentioned, there's a lot of good advice here for grooms and other-gendered people having weddings, and there's a lot of advice and suggestions for queer weddings. But if it's important to you to read a book about someone's firsthand experience of having a same-gender wedding, or of being a transgender bride/groom, or of navigating the wedding industry when you don't identify with a binary gender, this book isn't that.

Overall rating: 5/5 stars

Would I recommend it? Yes!!! Especially if you're having a "nontraditional" wedding.

hi! ive been getting back into the craft recently and i was wondering if you have any book reccomendations that i could learn more from! (i know youve published your own, which i will be checking out soon!!)

I have a book recs tag that contains most of the titles that I regularly recommend for witchcraft studies, but there are a few I could mention by name:

History:

Drawing Down The Moon (Margot Adler)

Triumph of the Moon (Ronald Hutton)

The Witch: A History of Fear, from Ancient Times to the Present (Ronald Hutton)

The Oxford Illustrated History of Witchcraft and Magic (Owen Davies)

Witchcraft, magic and culture 1736–1951 (Owen Davies)

Witchcraft:

The Dabbler's Guide to Witchcraft: Seeking an Intentional Magical Path Seeking an Intentional Magical Path (Fire Lyte aka Don Martin)

New World Witchery: A Trove of North American Folk Magic (Cory Thomas Hutcheson)

By Rust of Nail & Prick of Thorn: The Theory & Practice of Effective Home Warding (Althaea Sebastiani)

Sacred Actions: Living the Wheel of the Year through Earth-Centered Sustainable Practices (Dana O'Driscoll)

Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration (Mallorie Vaudoise)

Spellcrafting: Strengthen the Power of Your Craft by Creating and Casting Your Own Unique Spells (Arin Murphy-Hiscock)

The Magical Writing Grimoire: Use the Word as Your Wand for Magic, Manifestation & Ritual (Lisa Marie Basile)

Light Magic for Dark Times: More than 100 Spells, Rituals, and Practices for Coping in a Crisis (Lisa Marie Basile)

Sigil Witchery: A Witch's Guide to Crafting Magick Symbols (Laura Tempest Zakroff)

The Hearth Witch's Year: Rituals, Recipes & Remedies Through the Seasons (Anna Franklin)

Previous Posts:

Here are the Top Ten foundational texts that I started out with.

Here are the books I recommend if you want to work with plants.

Here are the three titles I have on the market.

Here is the Dropbox I made with free (legal) historical texts on witchcraft and magic.

And here is my personal library (slightly out of date) which might give you some more ideas!

Spiritual Satanist Prayer Book: Infernal Reflections by Venus Satanas

as someone who is a HUGE daydreamer and often builds up a whole world of expectations when i make plans, i made this spread for myself, and it’s proven to be incredibly useful. hopefully it’s of use to some of you as well!