Your gateway to endless inspiration
i have talked about this before. but it is legitimately fucking insane to me that a guy gets shot. and because the guy is a single dad, his best friend steps up to take care of his kid and keep him on his schedule while his dad's in the hospital recovering, stays at his house and sleeps on the couch and takes the kid to school etc etc. normal! cool, normal, extremely generous, lovely best friend behavior. but then when the guy wakes up, the best friend says: i should have held it together better, i was really struggling and i broke down in front of your son, and i just think it would have been better for him if i had been the one to get shot. which – this is an objectively true statement. for anyone normal, yes; that is a gut punch of a sentiment, and it is heartbreaking to hear buck say it out loud, but it is objectively true for anyone normal that it would be better for a child if his dad's best friend got shot vs his only living parent getting shot. you know? like that is not an insane thing to say, even in the context of all of everything between them. but then the dad – AND THE NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW – says no actually, you're wrong. it wouldn't have been better. it would have been the same; it would have had the same effect on my son if you had been the one to get shot. you matter to me, and you matter to him, and you are an important enough part of both of our lives that i have you written into my living will. i have an advance directive that says, in the case of my death, i want you to gain custody of my son. you, my best friend, and not my own parents or my aunt or my grandmother or either of my sisters. you. and you stepping up like this proved that i was right. and I cannot stress enough how insane it is that not only do the characters believe this, but the ACTUAL NARRATIVE OF THE SHOW agrees with them and backs them up and says: this is the reality of the situation. like!!!!
If this is what they do. If this is what they do i might just forgive them.
Bobby's dead, and Eddie's only back because of it, and Buck's been living in his house, and they've both been so lonely, and they know they can lean on each other, and a loss like this is something they've never faced before they don't know how to face it.
And the funeral is beautiful, Athena and the kids keep it together better than the 118 ever could, and there's fucking Tommy, and Gerrard, and all the reasons Bobby's life was made hell before he died and it's too much.
Eddie keeps himself together until they get home and Buck finally allows himself to break. They don't know what to do, there's nothing they can do but comfort each other. The hug doesn't feel close enough, doesn't let them feel alive enough, and Buck's always one to be impulsive when his emotions are too much.
And Eddie asks what he can do, a parallel to when Eddie's life was crumbling around him. He rests their foreheads together, whispers as he still clings to Buck, I'm here. What can I do? and Buck kisses him.
It's not how it's supposed to happen, but nothing about their lives or their relationship has ever been the way it was supposed to. Bobby brought them together over a grenade and it's finally traveled enough distance to go boom. They neither one care if they survive the blast.
And then Buck's phone rings, it's the only thing that separates them. He doesn't want to answer it, doesn't want to let go of Eddie for anything, but it's Maddie, he has to answer it, freaks out that it may be Chim, or the kids, or-
"Bobby's alive."
And they neither one talk about it, neither one acknowledge it, how can they sort out their own feelings when they're running to the hospital to piece back together the family they thought would never be whole again?
i have no idea if they plan to keep bobby dead or if they will bring him back but i know this. eddie will not be going back to el paso after the funeral. sure he’ll go back to sell the house of smth but he’s going to move back. not because of buddie (though that will be a huge win) but because eddie doesnt want to miss anything else. eddie created a life and a family for himself in la. his son spent half his life there and his second dad is there too. eddie will not move back to el paso because bobby dying will remind him of that life he built and him not being there for bobby’s death will remind him that he doesnt want to miss his family anymore
“Can I ask you a question?” Buck blurts out as Eddie pours creamer into their coffee. It’s the algae creamer that Buck uses. Eddie picked it up when he was out grocery shopping last. Even though he was shopping for his house and not Buck’s. Even though he doesn’t use it. Eddie buys a different one for his. Some fancy caramel macchiato type stuff that he splurges on because Frank told him to treat himself and Eddie apparently can only do that with coffee creamer.
“Go for it.” Eddie hums in reply, clicking the tops shut and carrying the creamer bottles to the fridge. He’s wearing old sweats with a hole in the thigh. Bare toes peek out from the bottom. His shirt is old and loose, dipping at the collar. There’s an unknown stain on the chest. He’s got day old stubble growing on his jaw and his hair is sleep ruffled and soft. He looks beautiful.
“Wanna get married?”
Eddie fumbles the bottles, the fridge door open, and his head snaps over to Buck, mouth parted in surprise and eyes wide. He says nothing.
“Look, h-hear me out,” Buck steps forward, rubber spatula gripped tightly in both hands. The eggs he’d been about to cook for them for breakfast remain forgotten beside the stove. “We…we love each other. We basically live together. I’m pretty sure I’ve been helping you raise your son?” Buck releases a slightly manic laugh. “Eddie, I’ve never felt so comfortable or at home with someone. I’ve never known another home like I know yours. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and your absolute best. The same applies for you with me. And…and we still love each other. We keep coming back to each other. And I…I do. You know? L-love you. As a best friend. As a work partner. As…as my person.”
Eddie is still staring. Mouth open. Eyes wide. Creamer bottles in hand.
“I have loved you since probably the moment I met you. And it’s only grown and blossomed into…” Buck gestures wildly around the room, “This! Eddie. We’re already married. Why don’t we make it official?”
Buck feels like he’s run a marathon when he finishes. His chest rises and falls rapidly. His heart is going crazy in his chest.
Eddie slowly turns, puts the creamers away, and shuts the door. Buck watches. Waits.
And then Eddie is walking towards him and Buck can’t read his expression. He always has known what Eddie is thinking. It’s one of the many things Buck loves about the man.
But right now? When Buck has bared it all out in front of them? He has no idea what Eddie is thinking.
“You…” Eddie trails off, shaking his head. “Buck.”
“I—“
“Am I allowed to at least take you on a single date before you propose?” Eddie cuts him off. And a beautiful smile is lighting up his face. It’s soft and sweet and all Buck’s.
“I…y-yeah. Of c-course.”
“Good.” Eddie sways forward, hand resting on Buck’s hip, and he brushes his mouth across Buck’s. A first kiss. Their first kiss. But it feels like one they’re exchanged thousands of times. “But for the record…yes. I’ll marry you.”
Buck grins back, looping his arms around Eddie’s neck and pulling him back in for another kiss. This one longer and deeper.
Eddie snorts when they pull apart, just enough to look at each other. “Proposing to me and we aren’t even together.”
“We’ve always been a little together.”
“Okay. That may be true.” Eddie grins, “Can you make breakfast now? I’m hungry.”